Hi community. In my late 40s and I’ve never seen a provider. I’ve been a lurker since I left my office on K street in 90s late one night to discover it was the red light district. Every year I get closer to doing something but I’m nervous as all hell. I’ve been looking at Viv and Leah for a four hand FBSM. Chatting with them on OF. Getting custom content. Set up a google phone number.
My fear. A colleague in FL got arrested a few years ago. Lost his job. I have a good job and a family that would all disappear. Should I just continue to view from the sidelines? I was looking for FBSM that doesn’t offer FS because I don’t trust my self. How did you guys get comfortable the first time and what else can I do to protect myself? Are people able to stay to something like happy endings without ever going further down the rabbit hole or is it Pandora’s box? Any post nut clarity regrets?You don't trust yourself??? WTF does that mean??
There are plenty of reputable women out there. If you're that paranoid then just keep sitting on the sidelines. Otherwise look at reviews and find someone you think you'd like and just go for it.
Personally I don't find MP w/ happy ending all that satisfying. I would also say that this activity is also not for everyone and doubly so for those that have a family and actually care about them. Given you say you've been sitting on the sidelines for well over 20 years you might want to take a pass unless there is now something really missing from your relationship, in which case I'd suggest first working on fixing that. If fixing is not possible then perhaps redefining terms with your SO so that getting a FBSM or even seeing providers for FS is an allowed activity if it makes the rest of the relationship work better for all involved.
Thanks. I wouldn’t go to an AMP just because I’d be worried about trafficking. The providers I’m looking at are two latinas in their 20s who appear to be independent.
I’ve tried working on things with the SO. we’re now down to once a month and it’s always the same. The issue is as she’s gotten older her libido has just gone. I’m as horny as I’ve ever been.
I’ve tried taking to her about it and it always is not well received. Everything else is great.
The FBSM with happy ending feels like I’ll be able to get some relief and it would be a fantasy. I don’t want to do FS. It just feels a step too far. I give myself a HJ five times a week. This would just be with someone else. And of course the “danger” of it is also a bit exciting.
IDK. Thanks for the thoughts.
getting arrested is extremely rare. How did that happen? and losing a job on top of that is also rare - usually they give you a high five right?
Yea. I don’t know the details as I hadn’t been working at this company for very long and I didn’t know the guy but yes. Arrested, fired, and I’m sure many other unpleasantries.
Just in reading reviews here and then boards I’ve become more comfortable that it’s pretty low risk. But not zero.
AMPs get busted all the time because politicians and cops know many of their girls are trafficked so they watch AMPs really closely. They also score huge points whenever they make a bust.
There are plenty of Asian massage providers that provide a decent massage with HE. You just need to do a search for massage-only providers. Of course, a lot of them also offer sex for more $. They are usually not on the cops' radar.
As for me, I can't imagine having sex with only one person in my entire life. It gets boring very fast as there are only so many sex acts you can do. I started with FBSM and then moved up to FS after a year. I actually like having sex with a stranger as it excites me.
... This probably isn't the place you'll find a lot of discussion about regrets in general. Your post either indicates that you're tempted but would regret it or that you're tempted and want to do it but don't want to get caught. Seems that you're already thinking of precautions so you're already on the slippery slope. Same deal w/ me - hit up a couple MPs but didn't find it satisfying. So here I am, searching for hot tail again.
As for protecting yourself, there are a lot of jumbled threads that include various aspects but most are just long rants about never giving out your personal info. Bottom line is that nothing is 100% foolproof and there is always some risk. If you're going to do it you have to decide how much risk mitigation you're willing to do, and how much exposure you're willing to accept.
Opinions vary, but the basics for me: burner phone (pay for it & service in cash/gift cards). Separate, encrypted email. VPN. Decide for yourself how much or how little info you're willing to give out to providers who screen you. Some don't do it at all, some limit how much or how often, and others just don't worry about it. Avoid scams - find someone w/ recent reviews so you know what you're walking into, and look at the review history (lots of fake ads and some have fake reviews). Avoid permanent locations (AMPs). Don't act different at home. Bring your own shower stuff so you don't smell flowery. 
I did the AMP scene for years then transitioned to the two-text hotel meet - which I prefer. As someone mentioned, AMP's get busted all the time; Indy's and agencies that work out of hotels don't. I distinctly remember my very first Indy provider. I couldn't sleep the night before, the day of my heart was beating out of my fucking chest and my legs felt like jelly heading up to her room ...but once in the room, all the anxiety went right out the door and nature took its course. Haven't looked back since.
Escorting itself is not illegal - as you are paying for another persons time and people hire providers to accompany them to events, concerts, dinner dates, etc all the time. This is why most ladies have no qualms openly advertising all over the web. So long as you don't say anything explicit ahead of time you are simply paying for someone's time and what happens when you 'meet' behind closed doors and hit it off, is between two consenting adults.
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I do agree though that if you meet a known woman BCD in a hotel you're risk is almost zero. I don't think I could ever bring myself to patronize an AMP - way too much risk in my view.
One of the DC-area providers (that I haven't paid any attention to for a few years) had on her website that she was a yoga instructor. She talked about the benefits of yoga, etc. Had lots of pictures of her wearing sexy clothing, no face shots, and a rate for "instruction" that was $500/hr. Now really, if it was legit yoga lessons why wouldn't she show her face, why would she have photos of herself wearing lingerie?
And the big one - who TF would pay $500/hr for a yoga lesson?
I think many can relate to your first time jitters. You have made it so far to TER. Use the resources here as advised above. No matter how careful you are, there is always risk, especially if you have a family and a career job. That is the tradeoff.
Agencies, Indys, AMPs all have different risks. Even having a burner phone carries the risk of having someone at your house finding it. Delete all your texts and phone history, internet and email history is a good start. You can ask for any kind of service once you are behind closed doors. Yes it is a slippery slope down that rabbit hole as you gain confidence. Your first time should be with an escort that has a history of good service and reviews. My first time was on work trip out of state. You want to walk into that hotel with confidence that you belong there. You will think everyone is watching you. And yes someone at front desk may look you over as you walk by to the elevator. Know that all hotels have cameras for their protection. I have seen the same with AMPs and Indies. Dress like you are going to a business meeting. I am not a fan of this recent deposit up front stuff. But the escorts get cancelled on constantly, just part of the business. They have cancelled on me as well. Be careful not to share personal information. I found that a P411 account helped in not having to give up my personal info.
Normal feeling, although I think that you're "over-thinking" it....just a weeee bit.
My first encounter was with a sweetheart, Miki-Todo back in 2008? I found her ....wait for it..... here on TER.
A coworker who was a known alcoholic and partier even though he was middle age was also at one point a bigtime producer at another firm, thus the hobby was nothing new to him. He told me about TER, Eros, Craigslist, others......
Up to that point, the only experience I had with using the internet to find someone was Match.com and other various dating sites, prior to getting married.
Find a couple of gals that interest you and follow their reviews as other fill their profile with their own experiences. As we say in my industry, you'll find a "consensus", that is generally more of what you can expect once you pull the trigger.
When the handler/gal asks for certain info to screen you, either you give them what they ask for, or you don't. There is always going to be some degree of risk, but some that practically give themselves a persona like a foreign spy (burner phone, whole new ID, fake everything----in my opinion are a bit uber paranoid. I say this because at some point, your real life and hobbying life will become grey...the true division of yourself everyday vs. the newly crowned monger... You will probably get caught up in a lie......which I think would be more devastating....because you slipped up on who you were supposed to be at the moment. A "found burner phone" in your glove box by the Mrs.? explain that one....To each their own.....
Once you find a regular gal(s) and you like spending time with them.....see them frequently......your jitters will disappear quickly.....Then you'll be ready to branch out and be a true TER monger...... like some of these so-called NITS that post everyday..... LOL....