There is a time we must come up with the funds, usually cash, my question is how to hide the paper trail, bank statements mainly, I never use C.C.'s. Had a close one the other day. I do not handle the finiances.
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You are working from a hole already by not being the one controlling the finances. I don't know how one get hobbying done with that arrangement.
I use bonus checks, and also work a college besides my regular salary, so the college and bonuses are MINE and all mine. I use it as I see fit. I know that may set well with most couples, but I don't bother the SO with her mad money either and she has her little funds to play with like I do.
Hell maybe she is seeing a provider.
You're in a tough situation. Here's a couple suggestions:
1. Do you ever go out to eat with co-workers? If so, offer to pay the bill with cc, then keep their share of the cash. Easy to explain to SO.
2. Every time you go to the grocery store, use your ATM/Debit card and get cash back. 20/40/60 bucks every time you go, and you may be able to sneak those past the SO.
3. When you are with SO, use cash to buy electronics, clothes etc. Keep the receipt, and return the goods when she's not around and pocket the cash.
#1: You will probably have to fork over that cash to help pay the CC bill. Probably won't work.
#2: This has promise, and I've read posts from guys who say they do this.
#3: How do you explain where those electronics and clothes went? You bought them in HER presence, after all.
And get a less controlling S/O
CiaraHasNoSO
Open a seperate bank acct and have direct deposit of 50 or 75 or whatever small amount each month and if it is questioned just tell her you want to have a christmas acct or vacation acct. Whatever you choose good luck!
Sending you some sunshine....
XoXoXo
Yasmine Greek
this is a good idea yasmine, and maybhave the statement sent to a friends house, I also like dc's suggestion about the grocery store.
Ciara..most and I say most not all s.o.'s would not take to kindly that we are out having this type of fun, my s.o.'s is as cool as they get, we go to strip bars and swingers clubs, we have not participated in the latter but you get the point.
Thank you everyone, I love this board.
Very easy. I have also gotten some friends of mine to go this route.
U should open up a joint account where most of your paychecks go to yours and hers. Then open up 2 separate accounts, one for her one for you. Each paycheck send $250 or whatever amount to each of your separate accounts. Those separate accounts are used for whatever you want and whatever your SO wants. I'm a big golfer so I tell her i need that money to golf. Go on trips to Vegas or golf trips elsewhere. You can always save enough that way. Good luck.
spiro
that is actually our current arrangement, the problem is my account statement comes to our home and I was questioned about the withdrawls.
Thanks for you input, I will arrange something, giving it up totally is not an option.
Well why was she looking at your statement? Isnt it addressed to your name only? Once I see those I just grab them right away. LOL. Maybe you should have another account which feeds from your separate account but have the home address be a PO Box or your office.
I usually get to the mail 1st for obvious reasons, but i slipped up. live and learn.
I have a few suggestions.
First - Get a pair of balls.
Second - Eat at McDonalds everyday - save the change. In about a month you may have enought $ saved. I saw that Super Size Me movie the other day and wow - - I thought the dude was going to die.
About the best suggestion I have heard is the grocery store concept of taking $ out with the withdraw.
If you have control of the finances you obviously do not have this problem. I can not even imagine having this problem.
Best of Luck.
tell your old lady what you are doing with your change from that big mac everyday and thay will be searching for your member in the woods for weeks. Unless she's cool with it, if she is god bless ya.
My SO pays all the bills, but I balance the CB. With a little creativity, it's not so hard to hide direct deposits or juggle a few expense checks. For example, all my FSA (flexible spending account) deposits are direct deposit. They never see the light of day in the cb. I just keep them in reserve. It helps to have a quicken or ms money program on the pc to keep things straight though.
If your expenses and bills are like mine... your SO will GLADLY relinquish the check book duty/balancing!
Fortunately for me, my S.O. hates dealing with the finances, so I control the money and give her an allowance each month.