I jumped into this when I moved to Colorado over a year ago. The scene out there is very unique and awesome. I've tried traveling/touring to a few other cities and have yet to find anything comparable.
I told myself that when I finally move from CO I'll make sure to leave Justina behind. The #1 thing I hate is being in public and someone asks my name. Never sure which to give. So I feel like moving to a new area will be me leaving that life behind.It has been a short and very interesting time the past few months as I learned about this hobby. There are of course a lot of fun things with this hobby, the obvious and surprisingly the intangible things like meeting wonderful people (for the most part) and learning about their lives (including the people on this board), but it has also been very anxiety driving with threats of being found out, risk of catching something, the games played, walking on eggshells to prevent being negatively viewed for the mildest things, and being robbed or being physically harm. As I start the process of weaning and ultimately ending my participation, I wonder what other people think will be their reason for stopping: significant other, LE, health, finances, the games, the drama, or something else (or will you never.?). For me, it was all of the above and the risk/reward just was not there anymore. Like at the casino, it was time to call it quits while ahead and not when the house cleans you out. Good luck to all and it has been interesting and enlightening.
I jumped into this when I moved to Colorado over a year ago. The scene out there is very unique and awesome. I've tried traveling/touring to a few other cities and have yet to find anything comparable.
I told myself that when I finally move from CO I'll make sure to leave Justina behind. The #1 thing I hate is being in public and someone asks my name. Never sure which to give. So I feel like moving to a new area will be me leaving that life behind.
Do guys ultimately quit the hobby? I think this is quite addicting, and I haven't seen many men quit in my years of doing this. Ive seen guys say they are going to retire, and then they pop back up in a couple of months.
Not soon but soon enough like in a couple of months for pretty much all of the reasons you listed. The hobby is fun I agree especially when you first start, then you get your ups and downs, and now I feel like maybe I should leave for a bit
. . . when I found an SO. The other thing are not factors -- they don't scare me.
I've never cheated on my wife when I was married so I'm pretty sure I can do it again. I will not commit unless I know I won't be back. This hobby is not an addiction for me, I've gone from twice a week to months without, and back
It is good to take a break for a while. The hobby is very addictive. My last vacation from the hobby was 60 days this year. I recently had a birthday and saw 4 different providers in one week. Hobbying is like investing you have to have a risk mitigation strategy to avoid the risks you run into. The best thing to do is to stick with reviewed reputable providers and know who you are dealing with. As I posted on an earlier tread peoples phone numbers are being exposed on the exposed john site. Google you hobby buddy phone number and you will see what I am talking about. If you are taking one for the team you have to spend a lot of effort doing research and risk mitigation, sometimes it requires investment like the stock market, lol. Glad that I have my pit (pussy investment trust) so I am not concerned about over spending.
Cartoon character posted for the times we are in.
-- Modified on 6/6/2015 11:57:25 AM
My hobby activity is 75% PV and 25% FS, and has dropped down to some extent. It isn't any conscious decision on my part. The dynamics of LE activity (they work hard, don't they?), mishandling of my appointments, and a flaky agency proprietor have put a dent in my efforts.
One doesn't have to decide to leave the hobby world, its internal dynamics will do all the work for you.
The dynamics of the hobby is what will make you stop, not you. You may quit for awhile, but that won't make you stop. I'm pretty sure even if you get busted, you'll be back (royal you as in all of us).
I'm finding I'm giving up one aspect of the hobby because its a pain the ass and there are other alternatives.
Good thread.
I've doing this 2.5 years, with a couple hiatuses.
I plan on quitting when/if I meet someone in the real world to have a committed relationship with.
This hobby has been great, but obviously it doesn't fill every need - still want to have someone to grow old with (I'm single).
It really does spoil the eyes and senses though, no doubt about that! And no doubt that the ease of all this - looking at photos of drop-dead gorgeous women and having the ability to simply choose which ones to have sex with - is quite frankly something that is well beyond what my wildest imagination thought was possible - and is both intoxicating and indeed addicting. The fact that I've seen women that IMO are even better looking than so many of the ladies in Hollywood, etc. who are held up as icons of beauty?? Are you kidding me??! It's been unbelievable, a fantasy come true. But BEYOND all that is the reality that each lady I've met is just flesh and blood like me - with her own interesting story, personality, passions, sense of humor, and even insecurities. Have just really enjoyed getting to meet each one. But I do just see this as a chapter of my life though. An amazing chapter that has changed me forever, but still just a chapter. Could I be wrong about this? Perhaps - maybe I am hooked for the long haul. I don't think so - but only time will tell...
I have been in the hobby for a year and soon would be my time to go too...(I would think less then a year if things work well; so far so good). I have the opportunity to meet wonderful men that I would continue to meet UTR still. I make few good lady friends (2-3). I was thinking on other options to be on the hobby but to help the ladies since I would not provide for the gents...I study photography and cinematography long time ago so I was thinking doing this as a side job.
Wonder if I will miss it when its my time to go?.
Anytime I see a hot girl, she's with a hot guy.
Anytime I see a below average looking guy (like me), with a girl, she's fat.
Since I don't want to get plastic surgery, or date a fat chick, I'll stick with the hobby.
and if, I ever have an SO again or if I lose interest in women.
The other things you mentioned are not sufficiently significant to me.
And she said "We are all just prisoners here, of our own device".
...or you finish your masters and have to get serious about your career...God forbid I get a client who is a client from work ..lol
Why is it that art historians are always so attractive. I definitely went into the wrong field of work
many of whom are at least very attractive, and some HOTT!!
It has not been a short time for me, but I have taken significant breaks (last one being almost a year and a half) when I no longer felt like I wanted to do it or felt it was consuming too much of my life and I didn't want it to be a main priority.
At this point I've learned how to balance it to make myself happy and not let emails and advertising mostly, but also appointments take over every waking hour. I've been there done that with the being found out and lived through it. The risk of catching something is always there but that's present in day to day life as well. I have eliminated game playing and present myself as accurately as possible to facilitate finding the kind of people who would actually enjoy spending time with me and vice versa. Again the threat of harm, theft, etc exists in everyday life and I'm aware, but not concerned on a daily basis as I walk at night/alone/as a female/etc., but even less so in a hotel room with someone I've screened.
My reason for stopping will not be a significant other, I am at a point where I go into all (potential) relationships with the NON-MONOGAMOUS flag waved high. Not necessarily disclosing the full extent of the lovely suitors that court me, but no one has any misguided idea that our relationship is closed. It will not be LE, meh. Health, I'd certainly hope not. Finances, it's possible that at some point, especially as my career progresses, that I realize I don't need the "spending money" anymore, but probably unlikely.
Most likely it'll just be a realization that I'm over it, no longer enjoy it, and ready to do something else. But when? Could that next month? Not likely. Or five years from now? Who knows? For now, I enjoy it and you should too.
P.S. Some roads end, but they can lead you back to the same place, never say never
...is when we quit, I would guess. Let's see -- its costs a lot of money, there is health risk (not just STDs, but also risk of cough, flu, etc.), there is LE risk, there is the risk that you get out'ed and work, family, friends, find out, there is the amount of time and energy and mental bandwidth involved (and so all of the things you are giving up to do this). All of this for sex, and not just any sex, but sex with total strangers, who have had sex with hundreds of other guys, and without the love that comes with a real relationship.
So, why do we (I) do it? Besides the obvious desire to be with good looking women, there is a need that is not being met in our real lives. When we get our shit together and either get that need met IRL or realize that we don't have to have that need anymore, is probably when we quit.
When I started the hobby, it was the greatest thing -- imagine, all you need is money (and I've got lots of that) and you can have sex with gorgeous women. Finally, a solution to the question "how to lay gorgeous women." Just whip out the ATM -- THAT is incredibly easy." As a heterosexual male, I hope I always find the idea of sex with beautiful women of interest. But since I have been involved in the hobby -- 2 and a half years now -- the compelling nature of the hobby was worn off and the sordid side has kind of set in. I wouldn't say I am ready to quit -- there are still several women that I like seeing, but I can see the end of the road from where I am now, whereas two years ago, I thought this would go on forever.
I just heard a quote to the effect that "everything in life is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power." I think when we lose that need for an artificial (ie, purchased) sense of power, through the hobby, might be when the road is up.
I don't know. It has been an interesting journey. I am certainly not knocking the hobby or the participants on either side. Just describing my own path
When your priorities change is when the road ends.
I am moving on because, I have taken the good from this industry and what I need from it. I am leaving because I am committing myself to one man, I have new business opportunities and I wish to grow as a human being.
I feel more alive than I have ever felt. I am enjoying my last moments in this industry as I want them to be positive memories. As the end nears I find myself more immersed and consumed by every appointment. I will be bidding my farewell in 3 months.
Jessie
-- Modified on 6/7/2015 4:57:22 PM
Glad our paths crossed, wish I had met you prior to your departure...and truly hope to see you again before you vanish.
Now that you have snatched the condom from my hand, it is time for you to go.
With many thought-provoking comments. And no sarcastic trolls with their nasty comments.
I just came across this discussionnd was warmed by the similiar experiences. It was with some relieve that I realize I am not alone in hte experience of ending. THe aging process reduces (or ends!) the lust. I found I kept going through the motions out of habit, with less and less enjoyment. My regular could have cared less, which focused the reality of the fantacy. It was mine, not hers. I don't believe it's possible to have a regular and avoid emotional invovement. Thus it's a sad process to inflict the pain of ending. My friend, who intrduced me to the hobby always reminded me,"..no matter what, always , always remember it is a service". He was right. I suppose I would add that one provider , who I became close too, caleed it "playtime". In rthe end, when it's a secret side of you (ie wife and family) that is it. But for the memories. Thnaks to all who shared their thoughts. I don't know how old this post is, or how it actually works. ButI thought I would share my thoughts.
I can relate to this....Ive felt much less desire, and have just been doing it out of habit. The break due to COVID shone a light on this for me, as the surplus of cash, and not feeling a void without having sex was a bit of a wakeup call for me.
These things coupled with not feeling any type of connection or real feeling of intimacy with the ladies ive met the last couple of years...
While I was never looking for anything real, outside of a mutual enjoyment of the encounter, its become glaringly obvious that it won't be found again moving forward.
Since I'm not made of the cloth necessary to have an encounter devoid of any type of connection...it just doesn't work for me any longer.
I would absolutely like to thank those few special ladies that helped me cope with the end of my marriage, and the change in course that my life took abruptly after 22 yrs. They were there for me when I really needed that.
If I were able to find the friendship and mutual enjoyment that I experienced in the beginning, I would probably stay in. But empty experiences, lack of yearning, and other things have me thinking that ive come to the end of this part of my life as well.
I think this may be the best, and most honest and most human, threads I ever read on here. Especially you ladies who answered, thanks for the perspectives.
All for the reasons you mentioned except for health. The other thing to is that majority of the women that I've had the pleasure of meeting have long since moved on. Bottom line for me when it no longer fun it's time to move on. I will admit the whole thing of P4P has begun to lose it appeal. Good luck in what ever you decide to do
The risks have been outlined well by my compatriots.
For me, the risk-reward is no longer evident. Now, the rates for a desirable companion have escalated to 400-800 per hour , and upwards. The pre-screening ordeal, preparation , the 40-60 min drive in traffic each way, waiting in parking lots...Well, I could go on .
Fond memories of the past will serve me for now.
I cannot respond to emails [Basic only].
Feel free to post here.
I am broke, dead, or incapacitated to the point I can get myself from point a to point b.
Dude you have 3 reviews from 5 years ago. Am I missing something? The last few months? Are you using your own account or someone elses?
So many questions...
Or when I get a girlfriend. Whichever comes first.