Hello all, haven't been on here for a while. Started going back to "normal" relationships for the past two years and in that time, I've been in a few relationships, oftentimes, seeing two or three girls at a time. It's a big headache to deal with these girls. I didn't remember having this experience a while back ago. I guess now I am a little bit more secure, something has got to give. Here's the situation with some of the girls I've meet.
It always started with good sex for about a few months, was able to get it anytime I wanted. I would spend money going out with them, shopping, and things like that. Then, I had to pay their bills, put money in their account, and things like that. For one of the girls, she told me she was no longer a free dinner fuck, meaning, I'm not going to be able to fuck her if all I was going to do was take her out to dinner and come back to my place. She told me she needed money to pay her bills. When she told me that, in my mind, she is basically a prostitute asking me for money for me to fuck her. In this other relationship, the girl is staying at my house, rent free, for a while. Sex was good for a few months, then it declined. Basically, I had to do everything for her. Helped her with her career, paying all of these damn money for her medical bill, money for cloths, and everything else. It got very expensive and I wasn't getting as much sex as I wanted. I remember on several occasions where I had to beg her for sex. Told her, the only time she actually had to give me money was when I didn't have change for the toll road. She's basically been staying at my house for over five months, me taking care of her, and dealing with her. Big headache, invested a lot of my personal time too, that is something that sucks the most (my personal time). I guess this is how most relationships work these days. I don't remember it being like that back in the day. But I can say this, the sex with relationship girls are the best, at least in my opinion because they will do anything and everything for you. The only thing is, whenever they ask you for stuff, you have to provide it to them. Is this how most relationships are? Is this how marriage work? Never been married but been in many relationships. I guess we all gotta deal with somebody, and accept them for who they are. It's not like they don't work, but why do I have to pay for everything? I guess nothing is free, even pussy. It may be free for a little bit, but I guess you'll be paying for it in the long run, paying for it somehow I guess. If anything, happy holidays.Women that don't offer any other value than their vaginas will fall into the relationship dynamic you described. Unfortunately this is how our society conditions women to behave in relationships, using sex as a leveraging tool to get money and whatever material and emotional resources they need. I don't think it warrants the statement that most women are prostitutes though. I just think most people in general will take the easy strategy in any given situation and for women that don't earn enough and aren't emotionally mature, being in a relationship with a man who will give them anything they want in exchange for sex is a pretty solid meal ticket out of their problems. Under capitalism, this is actually encouraged lol. But you are spot on with what you are intuitively feeling. In a relationship, both parties should be able to carry their own weight and not look at the other person as a crutch. If you are looking a balanced relationship, I suggest looking for professional women that have more rational personality types instead of the super emotional irrational crazy ones. Yes the sex is good at the beginning but that is only short term. In the long run you are going to suffer immensely after you made the realization that it isn't worth it to be around a leech who is going to such your time, money, and energy.
or at least find a new theme for your trolling..
Taking a year off hasn't helped you much, is it ?towards women who are looking for a partner to share the good times and lean on in the bad times. Women who have jobs, a career track, some vision for their future. Be open to women from all walks of life, and you may be surprised at who really turns you on. Leave the sugar babies for the guys just looking for a side piece.
Kevin Federline and Brittany Spears is a good example and any number of guys I know. I feel bad for the women, but thats a dynamic I don't understand, where the guy just makes the girl do everything. Maybe all guys are pimps if we're having a discussion.
-- Modified on 11/29/2014 9:54:43 AM
{Women who have jobs, a career track, some vision for their future.}
That's funny.
It is almost exactly what I used to look for in women. The universal reply from women like that?
I have a job, a career track, and a vision for my future. I am capable and competent and self-sufficient. Why would I want a man hanging around? OK, sex. But I'm a woman, I can get that pretty much anywhere, anytime I want. I don't need a guy hanging around. I neither need nor want you.
Maybe cause im on a mobile device but that novel appears to be too long winded for me, lol. all I know is if most women were I could walk up to most women with a few hundred and get lovin minimal questions asked and them not getting offended.
I'm all of those things and I may not NEED a man (or woman) hanging around but damnit I want one and not just for the sex. It's nice to have a lot of things going for you and nicer to have a special someone to share all of it with.
Just some thoughts from someone with an actual vagina.-- Modified on 11/29/2014 10:29:09 PM
that he never once talks about what else he might be getting from these relationships. Does he enjoy their company, do they do things together, is there some intellectual connection, do they go to things together (sports events, movies, ballet, concerts, travels, I could go on). If this guy's only reason for being with these women is to get sex, and that's the entirety of his view of male/female relationships, then I really don't know what to say to him. I can't imagine such a distorted view of human relations.
Many people might say 'You get what you pay for', I would say 'You only get what you're looking for and nothing more.' Talk about hollow relationships!
I'm around a lot of accomplished and professional women. The ones who aren't taken are all desperate for a LTR... But they ain't having no scrubs.
It is almost exactly what I used to look for in women. The universal reply from women like that? I have a job, a career track, and a vision for my future. I am capable and competent and self-sufficient. Why would I want a man hanging around? OK, sex. But I'm a woman, I can get that pretty much anywhere, anytime I want. I don't need a guy hanging around. I neither need nor want you.
Meaning I am an adult who can take care of herself and I pay my own bills. I don't ask anyone for money when it comes time to pay my rent, my car payment or for my shopping spending. And when I am in a relationship I still don't expect that or look for that from my lover or boyfriend.
I have always been very independent and I just think that you just are dating the wrong women. It should be equal and when you are in a relationship there is nothing wrong with doing things for one another. But don't be anyone's sucker. I won't pay for a bF , meaning I won't date a mooch. And I will not be that for a man either.Honey, I know what to say to him; he is a jerk. Not only is he so shallow that the only thing he gets out of a relationship is sex but he felt the incredible need to write about it so that everybody and his brother can read just how much of a jerk he is.
I have always been very independent and I just think that you just are dating the wrong women. It should be equal and when you are in a relationship there is nothing wrong with doing things for one another. But don't be anyone's sucker. I won't pay for a bF , meaning I won't date a mooch. And I will not be that for a man either.
I dont see a problem supporting a woman if she takes care of you, the home & the kids. Only problem is if she goes to the club eveynight and is not a homemaker.
Apparently, the type of women who act like this are the type he is looking for since that is what he found.
Maybe it's just the circles I run in, but most relationships I see are financially equal if not swayed more toward the woman spending more (especially if she's a sex worker). Some have a male breadwinner model but those involve kids or the wife going back to school, etc.
Is there a significant age or appearance difference between you and these women? Were they blackmailing you and forcing you to spend money on them? Were you with them because of how they looked/how they fucked or because they were good company and treated you well? With the line "It was getting very expensive and I wasn't getting as much sex as I wanted", it sounds like this wasn't an equal relationship on either side. The women could very well say "He told me I wasn't fucking him enough for how much he was freely choosing to spend on me. When he told me that, in my mind, he is basically a john asking me to fuck him for money."
And maybe they didn't love that you were seeing multiple women, too. Not really a sincere grab at romance, eh?
I bet if you didn't open up your wallet so much, your relationships would go differently. But that might mean dating women who aren't young, Maxim hot, crazy-in-bed types. It's all about choices.
This is the beauty of professional companionship: you can open your wallet just as much as you'd like, get what you want from who you want (within reason) and don't have to deal with someone moving into your house. Boundaries are a beautiful thing!