**Reading enhancement: play "The End," by the Doors while reading this post for enhancement.**
For those who have followed my TJ stories the last 2-3 months, it would have seemed I was on a journey of self-destruction. Indeed it was, but for a lesser man. Instead, I have become enlightened from that experience and can now say I have been initiated into the much exulted stratum of true TJ veteranhood.
This past weekend, I was slashed and burned by "my girl," and crashed like perhaps many aspiring TJ Don Juans before me. However, like the Phoenix, I arose from the fiery devastation and rose to greater heights of being and consciousness.
The story about this last weekend will be forthcoming and is so bizarre, it borders on the incredible.
But the point of this post is to pass on wisdom to those brave young male souls traversing the perilious path toward TJ Monger enlightenment.
My advice is simply this: Never, ever, fall for a TJ whore. Or any whore for that matter. Once a whore, always a whore. No matter how compelling her story, not matter how sweet her nature, no matter how intriguing her mind, no matter how her beauty captivates your soul -- never ever fall for her!! Because like the Sirens, she will take you down with her to tragic depths. Leave your heart at the border. The strategy and tactics in TJ should be purely guerrilla. Hit and run, hit and run. Find the best looking chica you can find, bang the shit out of her, nut, and get the hell out!!
But for any of you valiant , adventureous souls who decides to follow the path I took, make sure your hearts and minds are made of pure gold -- because you will need to have qualities that are both hard and soft. Good luck, and be careful out there.
Rico
-- Modified on 8/28/2003 12:04:54 PM
-- Modified on 8/28/2003 12:07:33 PM
-- Modified on 8/28/2003 12:08:52 PM
Edit #4 is to replace Muses with Sirens; I got my Greek mythology reference mixed up. Sorry.
-- Modified on 8/29/2003 1:09:07 AM
Good advice, ABM! I might well have succumbed but was fortunate enough to benefit from wisdom shared by some True TJ Veteranos early in the game.
Good luck and I look forward to the next installment of your journal documenting the enlightenment.
Good advice, although it comes too late to save me some heartache. My marriage ended several years ago, and my relationships since then have gone nowhere. Several months ago I became very fond of a nice, sweet, fairly innocent girl I met in one of the massage parlors. Before long I was seeing her outside of work, showering her with gifts, and paying her bills. I was happy. Then she found a guy (a local) her age and they are now expecting a child. I wish her happiness, but find I still miss her.
I wonder if, perhaps, it is time for me to get out of the hobby. From this experience I learned that I am reaching an age where I desire friendship and companionship as well as sex. As ABM states, friendship and companionship are very difficult to obtain in relationship between providers and hobbyists.
In my marriage and past relationships my partner soon lost interest in sex--which is why I'm a hobbyist. Although I can have sex with providers whenever I desire, I want more than than pure sex. When a man wants both sex and compansionship in a relationshiop--but can't get both from the same person--what is he to do?
Temesd,
I am still at an age where I still desire to be wild, but thoughts of settling down with a soulmate looms large. My main concern is missing that Connection somewhere out there. I know alot of people who "settle" because they stick to a timeline. Those that "settle" are happy, many aren't.
With my situation in TJ, I would have faced a fight anyway -- and perhaps a losing one. My girl is bisexual and has a novia in Mexico City that she had been trying to bring to TJ to assist and accompany her. When I met her initially, my girl was bummed out b/c her novia refused to join her in TJ and so she latched on to me. But still, there was a physical, mental, and emotional connection that developed after that first night/day together. Even before that,my girl was casing me out for a couple of days -- apparently I had reminded her of her former novio that she had been with for 4 years.
Despite all the pieces falling into place initially, there were variables that crossed things up, and communication was so vital to untangle them. Unfortunately for the both of us, our communcation skills sucked and the language/cultural barriers really nailed the coffin. In my case, the variables of sex and values came into play -- not to mention the fact that her novia decided to join her in TJ after all.
I was hoping for a higher level of relationship with this girl, but it all came down to the physical -- despite all the "higher ideals" I thought were in place. Subconsciously, I simply could not get over the fact that she has fake boobs and a fake ass, no matter how perfect her face was. I was much more interested in her mind and her story than her body. She is perhaps the most interesting and intriguing person I have ever met.
It all started downhill on the second night when we were having sex. She had just gotten off of work an hour before and we were relaxing and chatting and enjoying each other's companionship. This was a friendship make to order I thought. She showered, cleaned up, and primped herself up for the main event. She wanted sex, and I wanted to talk. But I never communicated that. I went with her wishes, was able to get it up, but she was kind of loose that day and her big fake boobs really got in the way of my style of love-making. I aborted the mission because I was deflated and really did not have the desire.
Well, especially for Latin girls, great sex equates to great love, and no matter how much I argue against this flawed philosophy with Latin women, they can never get it in the head that that is perhaps why there are so many single mothers in that culture. I will state my point here again and forever more: to base a relationship primarily on great sex is a guarantee for long-term relationship failure. Period.
Long story short, the lack of sexual chemistry doomed it all, despite all other chemistries being in full sync. My girl felt not only insulted to the core of her womanhood, but she got the perception that I did not really love her and that I had other motives, which led to mistrust. I did not know how to tell her that I loved her for her mind and heart and not her body. American girls would have loved that shit, but Latin women are a different breed.
I hope I can still be friends with her after all the bad blood evaporates, because she is a great girl.
The bottomline is that for things to really work out between a man and a woman in an HONEST, long-term relationship, the stars REALLY, REALLY have to be in full allignment. Even then, it still requires some heavy communication and compromise.
Women -- can't live with them, can't live without them. But I simply love them. Period.
Best of luck to you Temesd, and all others looking for that perfect love. To me, it is worth it.
Rico
-- Modified on 8/29/2003 1:32:01 PM
While the hobbyist is most eloquent and quite astute, I gotta ask ya....
HOW do YOU do that IN BRAZIL?!?!?!...
About 6 women have my heart from RIO and San Paulo...
I can't help myself... 