Much texting, lots of common interests, pics exchanged, we meet, great chemistry, mutual physical attraction, and....
She wants $5K/month for 4 MEETINGS. IN NEW MEXICO. I can get (and have gotten) the same amount of time with the top providers in this state for less. One who is nationally ranked #7 for less. This is seeming like bizarro world to me at this point...What did her lifestyle expectation say? If it says negotiable, I ask them if they are truly negotiable or they have a figure in mind... most of them will throw something out there at least.
If it says something higher than practical... I ask them if they know what they are asking for... some don't understand that those descriptors have a dollar value associated with them and some do.
Here in SoCal the number of 22 y.o. who think they are worth 10k/month is absurd.
You got an outlier. Keep trying. You should be able to do $400 (or lower) per meet in NM.
Her expectation was "negotiable". I don't knowingly send inquiries unless the initial information makes things look feasible.
Until we met there was nothing to suggest such an unrealistic starting point. And, perhaps the pros have spoiled me, but, while I liked her, she is not anywhere CLOSE to that kind of money. Where I live is a small market, of course, but I think the SB's are getting carried away with what they imagine they are worth.
Well, that's the thing about markets, the invisible hand will eventually do some educating.
Well, sending a few more messages, and being more clear upfront about finances and expectations. We shall see...
Negotiable could mean $200 vs. $250 or $1,000 vs. $1,500. It's really meaningless. Many guys disregard the financial expectations, because even "Substantial" SBs will agree to $500 per date. At least some will. Others hold fast at $1,500 per date--and get very few dates.
How long has she been on SA? She may be new and clueless.
Your experience, while unfortunate, wasn't terrible. You can save time by mentioning a specific dollar range, but I don't like that approach for 2 reasons: (1) you may quote a figure higher than they would, so you overpay; (2) you tend to attract women who are more focused on money than connection. If your time is very scare and funds are abundant, that approach may work for you. It doesn't work for me.
Try to avoid women who use the following terms: allowance, spoil, deserve, worth, pamper, shopping, gifts
I would counter with 1600 per month and just say that's the best you can do. In her case, I doubt 1200 would work but that is an option. You could go on and add fluff about lousy economy or other stuff but it all comes down to their expectations. If she is reasonable, she will accept. Be sure to put a nice statement in there that if she wants to accept in the future, "I'd love to see you as I really felt a connection." Be sure she has your number to text as inevitably your premium membership will have lapsed. Lol
Otherwise, just move on. You'll see her profile logged on daily looking for the whale. Eventually, they give up. I don't know, maybe they find the whale. If they do find a whale my bet is it lasts a few months and he moves on. They become active on the site again. The cycle starts all over.
Everyone has their own style but the allowance discussion can be done before even meeting in person. That way if the two parties are too far apart less time is wasted. Others prefer to meet and see how things go evaluating the looks and personality in person prior to deciding on an offer which is negotiated face to face. I've gone both ways in the past and they both work. If you set a deal before meeting and the SB is not up to standards then everything is canceled. No big deal. Your generally talking about 300 vs 400. I've found that a hot SB usually won't go less but I'm sure there are exceptions out there getting deals in the 200 range. I usually won't go more than 400 so that's the range. I offered one really hot girl 500 per meet once but that was not enough for her and she blocked me. the key is to always have an arrangement in place so you are not desperate and think with the little head. Lol
Thanks for the advice guys. I think I got a real newb and she has some learning to do. We both probably made assumptions we shouldn't have, but my profile contains accurate financial info, so I was baffled that she would propose, and then stick to, something that was obviously unrealistic for me.
And, yup, she's back on SA today, trolling for the whale.
I was at least wise enough to go that meet with a backup plan in mind so the big head could think clearly.
I always bring the subject up prior to meeting. I ask the lady "what are you seeking?" I let them put the number out first. If its a stupid number I pass. If we are close I counter. I also make clear that BCD fun is expected. So when you meet its just to see if both want to move forward. Plus not negotiating money for sex in person is easier for a lot of ladies.
Some (Princess) think that this is hooker like behavior. So what?
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Personally, I also like to have the $$ aspect worked out in advance before the initial meet so I can focus on attraction and connection while others like Princess and GaG like to rely on their interpersonal skills to close the deal. Also, I don't like to talk in the phone a lot so I prefer to communicate by text or email before first meet. There are many different styles that work... so to the OP, find your preferred style and hang in there. You'll find many SBs that are more reasonable (and new ones that come online every day) as you continue to pan for gold.
While I can not and ought not speak for GaGa, I can freely discuss my own method plus reasoning:
First off to address something SftD has said about my opinion regarding hooker-like behavior to avoid any confusion. It is NOT my opinion that paying someone per meeting or per play equates the scenario to seeing a hooker, but it is my opinion that if a POT SB solely wishes to meet with the expectation that there will be an envelop for BCD activities, she's at the very least a quasi-hooker and just like the f.kind of fellas who have no intention of paying a POT SB any kind of allowances by gaming the system, this type of POT SB is a hooker in disguise who is also misusing the tenets of SA and SugarBowl in general.
My offer is very clear cut which is 1000-1500 per month allowance for 2-3 get together one night of the weekend. We would mostly go to dinner dates and retire back at my place. I do not expect an all day sort of affair and I certainly would not want to hang out with an SB for 24 hours at a time unless we are on a trip or something (only with longer term, established and trusted SB). I am willing to pick up such a POT SB on a weekend day's evening (if she's within a say 25 miles proximity) if she does not wish to drive over to me and I'll be happy to drop her off by about Noon on the following day, after we have had breakfast together. These are my expectations against the allowance so anything which she wishes to offer above and over that is her own discretionary choice just like any other gift and gestures outside of a cash allowance are at my own sole discretion.
I discuss the above with the POT SBs only when we meet (yes, I do take the risk of wasting time and money on say lunch/dinner but this risk does not phase me out) plus I do not advance the entire monthly allowance as I break that down to 2-3 installments. If she bails on me after one advance, I am out 500 which is a risk I am willing to take but the advances come after we have already been intimate as the first couple of times my agreement would be PPM with an expectation of a LTA.
The type of girls who I seek are the ones who are struggling with some basic expenses such as rent and car payments and those who are obviously single to accommodate toward my needs and time frame schedules. I am not on SA to be anyone's Daddy and I do not have the time for just playing the afternoon trysts / midday rolls in the hay (that were the case, I'd be in the 300-400 per meet range with a few SBs in my rotation). I am single yet busy so I seek something close to "dating" albeit very part time much more loosely based as opposed to full on traditional with someone in their 40's. What i pay for is the premium I associate for the SB bringing their element of youth to the table, not for what they're worth, yada, yada.
If any of this helps any one of you in your endeavors, feel free to use.
That sounds outrageous even in top shelf hooker land. I would kindly pass, there are bound to be other options available. Or she may come to the conclusion that she is passing up a lot of good SD's by pricing herself out of the market. Sometimes I wonder if some of these SB's think they are too hot to pass up, yet most SD do have a budget we adhere to and find there are some great SB to play with. My current SB is a real treat, 24, pretty, fit, intelligent, fun to be with, enjoys pleasing and being pleased. At first I wasn't sure how things were going to go. Had a favorable first meet, didn't discuss allowance but we seemed to have chemistry and agreed to a second meet. It was during texting prior to this meeting that we finalized all details and met the next day and it's been full go since.
Econ 101, supply vs. demand. Even if she is top model material, if she wants to feed she needs to adjust her mouth to fit what is in the pond.
You are correct (as others have said) to get the gifts/money established before you meet. Some girls want to meet first before any negotiation. Fine, just be "your hot, your smart, sexy and I feel comfortable with you" but for our "chemistry" lets see how it goes and you gift her say $300 or whatever is the most you will gamble on her. Never pay more than for an hour with a great escort. Remember, whatever you pay initially will probably become a set rate. Even then, I've had girls call me with "I broke my phone, can I see you and you help me out". That just means she wants a pay check. No problem, I get what I want in her and she gets what she wants out of me!
If so, then the rate isn't too bad if she is really hot.
Otherwise, I would agree.
Do SB gals expect to be haggled perhaps, and she'll settle for half that
Mr. Fisher, as stated in my rather longer post above, I seek overnight companionship. This boosts me and flows my juices better than any other method which I had tried either here on TER or playing the P4P NSA games on SA. I can not change who I am or what floats my boat after 50+ years!
That said, I never expect or would probably have the energy and the moxie for an all night coitus marathon. At the most, there's intercourse after dinner and perhaps before breakfast the next day. Nothing forced and none of this "how many cups" challenge within a specified time frame as I am no longer the young 20 something whirlwind which I once used to be!
The genuine affection and the intimacy which does not necessarily involve intercourse all the time is what sets this apart for me as opposed to seeking such solace in the arms of a hooker.
$1,250 for an over-nighter with 2 or 3 pops (I usually get one upon arrival, one before bed, and one in the AM.) seems like a deal as such an over-nighter usually retails for anywhere from $1,500 to $2,500 depending on how hot the gal is.
Do plenty of SBs offer said deals for significantly less?
One problem for me would be the need for variety, however
So I'll just weigh in on the side of always getting onto the same page about money and sex before actually meeting a new SB. Those are the two critical parts of the Sugar. If we have at least a tentative agreement then it's worth investing the time and energy in a meeting.
My initial foray into Sugar Dating was also in NM and I guess I was really lucky to have met a single mom who was cute, willing, and had very reasonable expectations. After lunch we went directly to a motel for BCD fun. I wound up seeing her several times, then we both moved on. But it was a very encouraging first experience with Sugar Dating for me. After you have your first success you will be eager and energized to keep going!
I will. Two more messaged me back; both seem eager, so we shall see. Some comments on the first one:
It was her very first meeting with a potential SD. She doesn't know what she doesn't know.
It was my first meeting with a potential SB. I at least KNOW what I don't know and have tried to feel in the gaps here, just as I did on the newbie forum when seeing escorts for the first time. I'm perhaps ignorant, but not stupid. I'm going to be MUCH more clear about terms and conditions and simply eliminate non-starters earlier in the game. Politely of course!
Arranging meetings with two others; I shall report back....
Did you laugh out loud when she told you? I don't know if I could have held back. lol
Couldn't LOL over text, which was how she brought it up. I politely told her I thought it was unrealistic and told her to keep me in mind if she ends up needing an "interim SD" while fishing for a whale. Didn't put the whale part; I was more polite. I'm in a small market, so why burn a bridge?
She's still VERY active on SA, looking for that whale. It'll be interesting to see what happens.