Question: what is your response when asked om SA by a POT:
What kind of arragement are you looking for?It depends on what cues she's given me in her profile. But it's always good to say you're seeking something with a genuine connection. Say that you're open to short term or long term (assuming that's true). Def say you're seeking meetups irl, not anything online only. Create your own style and find out what works. You'll refine your approach as you go along. And sometimes you hit the jackpot right away!
Never say you are looking for sex. Never say one time fling. Or meeting at a hotel. That terminology will get you banned. The site has been cracking down, selectivity, on escorting and is rebranding as a dating site.
Be clear, if you want to date. In person. Going out and at home.
Agree with the above suggestions.
But I'll add some ideas of what works for me:
" I like to keep everything casual and fun. Meeting 2-3 times a month to catch up on life, maybe go out for some activities like dinner, shopping or live music. I usually prefer to include some more intimate time as well. That connection we build together is what makes for a truly enjoyable arrangement.
When we are not together, we respect each other's privacy. It's important to understand mutual boundaries and ensure our dates are fun and meaningful. "
Now that, or some version of that, based on any clues I got from our discussion to-date, is my go-to reply.
Then it's important to STFU! I won't send any more messages until she replies.
Again, no money talk, no sexual act talk. No quid pro quo talk. Just a confident, experienced guy assuring his would-be date that she will enjoy their fun time together.
Life is good
The Cat
My very first communication is this: "I'm mostly about the sex."
.
Now of course this has a low success rate. But it is honest which is important to me. And when it gets a favorable response (and it does often enough that my limit is my budget and not a shortage of candidates) it's almost a formality to do a meet and greet first. It almost always goes to BCD.
That's an excellent point. We each can find our own path...
Lester has spent a considerable amount of time defining what his goals are in the Sugar Bowl and as should be expected, being open and honest about it with POT's works, eventually. A good lesson for all of us.
Lester, just wondering if you ever get a bounce back from POT's that originally rejected your upfront honesty. Any of them ever reconnect a week, month or months later? I've certainly had SB's that ended up just wanting to fuck 'n' flee with some cash. Can't say I mind, as long as they deliver a great session.
Life is good
The Cat
Have not had any rejectors try to reconnect. I also recall the advice from a dating book that said if you get rejected for explicit sex, move on because recovering from that is extremely rare. It's some psychological aspect to typical females.
Many SB's don't want to think of themselves as prostitutes, so if you cross that line with them, it's hard to cross back. That's in part why I have a low closing rate. But again, successful enough that my budget runs out before my dating opportunities do. And of course, those willing to go BCD usually pester me for repeat meetings. They're literally in it for the money. A match made in heaven.
All grwat advove guys, thanks so much.. so far no luck with actiual dates.. one told me i was gorgeous (red flag) then wanted me to paypal her money to buy food.. another said she hit an alligator with her car and another wanted 150 to meet up for dinner up front..
Seems like i am good at attracting scammers...
Do you respond to them on SA if they ask what type of monthly allowance i had mind?
You can head off any confusion by including in your profile that you are interested in BCD meetings. I find it is better to just be clear about it from the get-go, rather than beat around the bush (no pun intended). You can spend your life going on first meet ups to see what the other person wants. I find the direct approach greatly reduces the number of people interested but also greatly increases the chances of things working out if they are interested. And there are definitely POTS out there that understand the game and are ready to play. Just always, always be respectful, even when being direct.
I do not recommend using 3-letter acronyms like "BCD," "PPM," or "P4P" in your profile. These are clearly hooker terms and will get picked up by SA's key word filters.
If you must, it's better to use more ambiguous terms/phrases like "I'm looking to meet in person when we are ready." Or something I use: "If you are local to me, you get priority."
There is no magic text that will prevent scammers from contacting you. That's because they are scammers. Most of them will never bother to actually read your profile in the 1st place. They take the phishing approach: Throw enough suggestive stuff (i.e.: Cut and pasted messages) against the wall, some of it will stick. Note that in this analogy you are the wall. :p
In general, never put anything in your profile that you will have a difficult time explaining to a jury - or you mother - or your boss - beyond the context that you want to date someone.
Life is good
The Cat
HTC -- I greatly respect your opinion and appreciate all of the information you provide here, so I will respond only with what you actually wrote above "if it works for you, it is a successful strategy." I don't know if this strategy would work for everyone, but it certainly works for me. And, of course, everyone's experience is different, so I hope the perspective is useful to people. (and, yes, life is good!)
SB' are not all cut from the same mold, and neither are SD's,
So yes, find your thing then do your thing.
Imagine if every SB was exactly alike.. you could write one message and 100% of them would respond and offer BCD that night. Bur who wants to live in that wor..... um....
Anyway, spot on! :p
Life is good
The Cat
"SB' are not all cut from the same mold, and neither are SD's".
Excellent point guys, appreciate the clarity.. i think i might try the direct approach.