so been seeing an SB every few weeks. last few have had BCD but only after nice dinners and other enjoyable things. overall we spend 4-6 hrs together and it’s a good connection when i need it to get through other life stresses. i am not really wanting to go BCD next meeting, but dinner and a “date” is still a good stress reliever. do i adjust the arrangement or just pay her what i usually do? i was thinking about maybe lowering it 1/3 but is it worth it?
Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. If it's only every few weeks odds are you are not the only guy she's seeing. But if sex is a price difference she's gonna demand it or find someone else.
She might be ok with a reduced rate. If not I'd skip the meeting entirely. But that's just me.
Let me outline the salient, if conflicting, areas of consideration:
1. Sugaring is dating, not escorting. Couples certainly have dates that do not end with BCD. Don't treat her like a hooker unless you want her to act like a hooker.
2. If you show up making a unilateral decision to reduce her allowance, you are likely to destroy any context that she is NOT a sex worker. Even if she is (or thinks she is) a sex worker, you wouldn't show up for a pro booking and then reduce the fees paid without prior discussion because you opted not to engage in one or all sex acts offered by that provider.
3. There is nothing wrong with suggesting a diner-only date, assuming you have a reasonable reason to exclude sex like schedule issues, fatigue, etc. Actually, an occasional non-BCD date will reinforce that the arrangement is truly a relationship and not a fuck-for-fee transaction.
4. If you simply must offer less for a date, regardless of what you do on that date, a different conversation is required. Namely you may need to ask to review your current allowance status and then present your case for changing it. But this risks her deciding to end the arrangement immediately.
My suggestions:
- If this is a one-time issue, you've already got the full allowance budgeted. So pay the full amount and look at the expense as a valuable investment in her continued and even increased satisfaction with you as her dating partner/SD.
- If overall, you no longer value the sex you are getting, or the value you get from the overall arrangement, then you may need to consider a deeper question: Do you want to end or continue the arrangement? Every minute and dollar you spend with/on her are time and funds you cannot spend with another SB. Are you getting the full value of the time and funds you are investing in her? Answer that, and the answer to your original question is obvious.
Life is good
The Cat
Sugaring is dating, not escorting? I'd say it's a whole lot closer to escorting than dating.
To add to Herb's excellent advice. If you give her the normal amount for a date, but do not go BCD, will she expect more of the same in the future? Kinda depends on how she feels about the sex! If she really loves it and feels disappointed not to get it this time around, then no worries. But if she sees the sex more as a chore, and thinks she can get the same $ from you without going BCD, you may have a problem.
Consider planning a nice date and then end up someplace where you can cuddle on a couch and make out. Maybe making out with her a little bit will let nature take its course and inspire you to go further.
That said, I agree that its likely a mistake to try to change her allowance without a conversation. But, any conversation may meander into undesired discussions ("I'm not a hooker", ending the arrangement, etc.)
I also agree that it will benefit you overall if you ask her in advance if she's okay with a 'no sex' date. If she's spending the whole day thinking about fucking, you may find that disappointing her without warning could have other consequences.
Agree that this is a relationship but based on mutual benefits. Look at it from her perspective. She’s setting aside time for you and the allowance is what her time is worth to her. If you’re cutting back she might find someone else.
It makes you look cheap and makes her feel like a pro with a menu and extras.
My sex drive has gone down the tubes. I usually only need sex once a month. I am happy with a massage and a happy ending since I am too lazy and old to do all the work. 
I still like to see my SB's for a nice meal and chit-chat to see how they are doing occasionally. So far, they have no problem with me giving them less allowance. I usually spend about 90 minutes with them to catch up so I think it's fair as long as they know beforehand that I am not giving them the full allowance for ppm.