I had a multi-hour early morning appointment with my ATF the other day. We did our usual catching up, and I slid I to bed with her. We ended up spooning, and she ran her leg against me. I told her to just relax. She said if she did, she'd fall asleep. I was okay with that...I had plenty of time.
She put her hand in mine, and I felt her twitch, as her breathing lengthened, and she drifted off As I left, I found myself thinking of this part even more than the sex afterward. When I started many years ago, I would have never even considered that. But what I want out of a session has changed, and I find that other things I have enjoyed as much as, and even a little more, than the great sex. Has anyone else's wants changed over the years?
I am in my mid 60's and yes... I realized something this week exactly to your point...
It's important to know what you want & it's important to know your self.
When my body was young and in its prime, my appetite for sex was well nigh insatiable, and 3 pops in an hour was not out of the question. When the session was done I as out of there like someone fleeing from the scene of a crime.
Then, perhaps somewhere in my forties, I began to notice that getting the second pop took a bit more doing, and longer sessions became more advantageous, and conversations became important. Like anything else dealing with life, the changes are so slow and incremental, that you do not notice it happening until you look back and compare the typical session of 30 years ago to the present day ones. Now I enjoy the relationship, talking, and even just the presence of the other as much and maybe more than the physical part of the time we are together. I guess it's natures way of weaning us off of that which no longer makes biological senseA few years ago a new girl came to town and on the booker's advice I made an appt. I liked her a lot, she was a sweet and sexy GND and we connected, but influenced by the tougher standards of that era I gave her a 7. Yet her memory stayed with me and I saw her twice more before she left 10 days later. She said she would be back in town only once or twice more for 2 weeks a time and then was moving on. She already had her Master's, was getting established in her career, and worked as a provider only long enough to cover some final post-Master's course work. True to her word she returned and left on schedule, and each time was better than the last until at the end we were almost clawing each other, and I was booking extra appointments and longer hours. The last time, we both choked up a little and I'm convinced our emotions were genuine. If I had a chance to see anyone I've met in the hobby over the years just one more time, a fairly long list by now, it would be her. And I only gave her a 7!!!
You hit the nail on the head - intimacy is what every human being strives for. I would like to think I am not alone in this vast universe and connecting with someone on a deeper level is essential to finding happiness and self actualization. At least that's my opinion
Glad to read this. Make me smile. Every now and then . A touch of pure is good.
Thanks!
Just so happens, my ATF and I were talking about this when we saw each other this week. We do spend more time just touching and holding than we used to years ago. I think we both enjoy it - the feeling of her hand running along me, looking into her eyes, small pillow talk...just connecting. It's a very intimate scene, one that's very hard to put I to words enough to give it justice. Sometimes that it more I timate than the sex itself...and our friendship outside of all that is the cherry on top.That is a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it. The good news in this is your score of 7 didn't likely hurt her. She returned and saw you again in spite of it, and she retired shortly afterwards anyway
I honestly think that the over-sexualization of women in advertising, mixed with the increasing access to porn, has skewed some people's views on what a sexual experience should be like, what a real woman's body looks like, and some people here on these boards have been shining examples of that. Over time, some of those guys evolve to appreciate the provider for more than her skills, and then some providers experience burnout and stop enjoying (and looking for) the connection.
I truly enjoy nurturing others, but I like to have some humanity in the interaction from the guy as well. Without that, I end up feeling cheapened and no amount of money will be enough to offset that. I've already added a couple guys to my own personal "do not see" list because I just felt cheapened after the experience and I think having that happen too often may cause burnout. I don't ever want to become that person. A provider I know (she's not local) said she went on a 5 day vacation with a guy (high-profile gentleman) "on the clock" and 2 days in she hated it, was dreading the next 3 days, and couldn't wait for the trip to end. Without that connection, something like that is bound to happen. No amount of money would make that worth it to me. Ok.. well.. .maybe if it was a high enough amount. *grin*
It's important to know what you want & it's important to know your self.
I had my 1st double this week.. one of the ladies was my ATF (in fairness.. one of two).. and the other was new to me.. It was fun.. unique and a great time.. lot's of emphasis on sucking and fucking.. but very little real intimacy..
a few days later it was the Birthday of my ATF.. I simply called to wish her a Happy Birthday & on an impulse, I asked if I could see her in an hour.. We did our usual thing.. that gets better each time as we know each other's bodies better & better.. the after sex laying together and talking (about the double we did along with a lot of other things..) was great... I realized that that I enjoyed this more than the memorable double.. it made me feel much more in touch .. I think as time goes on, the need for real intimacy increases and that intimacy becomes more rewarding than something that I would have loved a lot more when I was younger.. doesn't mean I'll never do another double.. but it does mean that I now know what I enjoy the most..