I've been seeing this asian SB for over 2 years. She's beautiful. Funny. And always broke. We started at 500 and we eventually went to 400. I had been contemplating ending it. Besides the cost there were things I didn't like. No kissing. No BJs. No time outside the bedroom. Basically an UTR escort. A couple weeks ago she said she wanted to go back to 500 because "she knows her worth".
So I passed. (If she was on TER she could ask 800+ in this whacky market). I erased her number and decided to move on. So 3 weeks later she's back. My concern is she will be resentful and not be as much fun. I'm tempted to see her again but OTOH she really didn't fulfill what I want from a SB. I do have a plan B gal. Asian with a smoking hot body. Not as pretty bit very willing and only wants 250. Decisions. Decisions.
I hate to sound selfish, but if you aren't getting what you want, what's the point? We aren't a welfare agency.
About 6 years ago, I started talking to a very hot Asian babe; 28, 5'2", maybe 110 lbs., pretty face and quite demur. I was smitten when I asked for a M&G at a nearby Starbucks. She showed up on time and smiling and we chatted a while to get to know each other. She was newly licensed Real Estate Agent and was looking to supplement her income while she started to build her business. She told me she had just moved on from a 4-year relationship with an older guy and she missed the company of a charming, successful older man.
Sounded absolutely perfect! Until...
She told me the reason her BF had left was that he could no longer deal with her "personal trauma issue." That got my instant attention. I was careful and made an effort to be respectful of what could be something very painful for her... she told she appreciated my approach and let me know that she had some childhood abuse history by a relative. As a result, she had trust issues with men her age and she was very uncomfortable with any sexual activities beyond missionary. She went on to clarify that "comfortable" in this context meant she would lie on her back quietly and let her partner penetrate her until he finished in the condom. Any other activities, especially oral (either way) brought back intense bad memories and would cause her to panic and scream.
Of course, that was the end of my interest. But, you know, I'm a nice guy and I never want to burn bridges. I gently but firmly let her know that I would not be interested in moving forward and I asked her if I could offer some advice as she was obviously new the Sugar Bowl. She seemed to appreciate my honest, but not unkind reply and admitted she was not really sure what she was doing.
I told her that she would probably have a very difficult time finding a SD that will agree to her sexual limitations, as POT SD's, in general, are looking to fulfill all (or at least most) of their fantasies with younger women who are comfortable testing and even exceeding their current sexual boundaries. I asked her if she had sought therapy or other professional help. She told me she had not. I suggested that she consider it as I knew help was available to her.
I also went on to give her some tips about protecting her safety and privacy if she wanted to continue her search on SA. We chatted for a total of about an hour before we went our separate ways after I offered to be a friend and help her with any questions or even vetting any suspicious POTs she encountered.
The conclusion: I could have moved forward with her for as little as $200 PPM, which was her early ask. But I knew that:
1. I cannot possibly forgo BJ's, pussy eating, kissing, role-play and BB action.
2. There was way too much potential for her trauma to resurface at some time, whether in the midst of BCD or not. And I just can't be the guy who (presumably accidentally) triggers that trauma.
3. I had already made the mistake of asking an SB with severe Bi-Polar disorder to move in with me. It took me 2 years to get out of that mistake and I will never put myself there again.
Bottom line SFD, all arrangements end, and there are ALWAYS new POT SB's coming to the Sugar Bowl every day. I did a little math project a while ago and I estimated that in every state in the country there are at least 1,800 women turning 18 years old EVERY DAY. If only 1% of them sign up for Seeking, that's over 500 new profiles a month in your state.
There will always be new POT's to consider. So I suggest you not spend too much time focused on arrangements that have ended, especially when you were not happy with the arrangement you had.
Life is good
The Cat
I've had a few SBs whose menus were limited due to past abuse and trauma, who would not allow certain activities for fear of getting triggered and bringing all the dreadful memories back. One refused to offer BJs. I was fine with that, but then after some months had gone by, she explained that every single guy she'd ever met would force gag her during a BJ. I was appalled to hear that and told her so. We had a lot of trust built up by then so she started giving me BJs and I kept my hands far away from her head! Turned out she was enthusiastic and had good skills. So sometimes it resolves itself nicely.
Otoh, one supremely sexual girl I dated was adamant bout no anal activity. And that was due to being raped that way. I wished she had gotten some useful therapy because in every other way she was amazing. I wish she could have reclaimed her enjoyment of that particular pleasure. I guess it was easier for her to avoid the issue.
You are probably best served by not moving forward, because, as you say, she may be resentful. She already has some major shortcomings, no matter how hot she may be.
Recently I met a beautiful woman with a first rate personality. Enjoyed her company very much but she had limitations that I cannot put behind me: no kissing and no cuddling. Basically an escort-ish type attitude. I did have one bedroom encounter which was okay given her great body and personality, but the guardrails she put in place make a no-go in the future.
The $250 option sounds like a winner!
This lifestyle is about living our your dreams and fantasies and only you know the best answer.
If it's a lot of BNBs (Herb's term) then go for it. If it's walking around with eye candy, that's OK too. Some of us here want a quasi-gf who enjoys and responds to us without the strings of a conventional relationship, but that's just one way of doing things.
Of course it is dating which means good ones are hard to find, and price is also a factor, so sometimes we make compromises. But I say go for whatever floats your boat, if you can.