Ok, so I've been in the Hobby for quite sometime, but thinking about trying out a SD/SB relationship. I would appreciate some advice from those who are experienced with this type of relationship; how it compares to the Hobby, advantages, disadvantages, how to get started, etc.
While its been fun every market is very different. There are no rules in sugarland so be prepared.
What do you mean there are no rules? There are plenty of rules to structuring a sugar relationship but there is not one specific blueprint per se which works for everyone. The most fundamental of rules are:
A- You (the potential sugar daddy) must be willing and able to to offer her sugar ($$$).
B- She (the potential sugar baby) must be willing to offer you sugar (intimacy).
Bow there are cases where A does not necessarily guarantee B, whereas there are cases that B is given but is not reciprocated by A!
The gap between A & B is where my chubsy old neighbor is calling the "no rules land" 
Your chubby neighbor is going to put his chubby hands around your scrswny kneck and choke it!
A- You (the potential sugar daddy) must be willing and able to to offer her sugar ($$$).
B- She (the potential sugar baby) must be willing to offer you sugar (intimacy).
Bow there are cases where A does not necessarily guarantee B, whereas there are cases that B is given but is not reciprocated by A!
The gap between A & B is where my chubsy old neighbor is calling the "no rules land"
Not only will it be a not miss event, it will leave a few extra SB's for me to have a chance at down here in Low Cal
My advice:
Go back 60 days and read every "Highway" post from then until now. You will be as much of an expert as you can without actually banging a 20-something year old SB hottie for (it had better be less than) $500.
Once you have caught up with the posts, bring on any questions you still need answered.
This forum is a wealth of information and fairly welcomong and tollerant of newbies. After all, we all were beginning SDs once. But you can't just ask a general question like that. Go back and read a lot of the previous posts.
As sweetman gently reminded me, we are tolerant of newbies. So I'll repost this to help you get started. Still STRONGLY advise you to read the last 60 days of posts, as there is MUCH more to know than what is covered here.... Enjoy.
Original Post---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I recently received a PM from a user with some questions about trying the "sugar" life. I think my answers may be of interest to some:
Original question (edited for privacy):
Hi. I have not tried sugar babies. I have stuck to providers in the area. I'm curious about your experience. What do you pay and, more importantly, is it worth it?
Thanks
My (unfortunately long) reply:
Hi,
Simple questions, very complicated answers...
I'll try to give you the key basics as defined by my experiences:
Booking: Booking with an SB is fuzzy, you get to see pics and read her profile, but there are no TER-style reviews so you will need to TOFTT to find out what she will do, what she will expect as "sugar" (i.e.: $$) and if she is cool or totally bat shit crazy. Next, finding an SB to set up a one-time thing or and ongoing thing is much more like hiring an employee than booking a service like a plumber . When hiring a new employee you may need to read up to 100 resumes (profiles) to find 10 that you want to meet. Next you may need to interview (meet & greet) 10-20 of those to find 2 or 3 that will agree to take the job with a negotiated salary (sugar per session or per month) and negotiated benefits (travel, shopping, overnights, etc.). Finally you will need to pick 1 (or two or three if you have the budget and physical/mental stamina) for a weekly, 2 times a month, or whatever schedule you want. There is a parallel case where an SB will immediately agree to meet now-ish for a per meet deal with no specific schedule or even promise for repeat meetings.
Meets: Meetings are typically multi-hour (or longer including overnight, weekend travel, etc.) and tend to be (for me MUST be) very date-ish and GFE-ish; maybe a meal at a nice restaurant, a movie or shopping, then behind closed doors (BCD) for intimacy. After, she should stay for cuddle time, etc. No clock watching allowed!
Budget: This one is tricky. Although you should be able to negotiate a per meet amount that is lower than the same "quality" in a pro, you will probably be repeating on a regular basis much more frequently than you might with a pro, and you incur additional expense from the non-intimate sugar activities like shopping, concert tickets, meals, etc. You will need to make sure you know what your per session, or per month (divide monthly allowance by # of expected meets per moth) spend is to negotiate within your STATED budget, PLUS you will need to know how much you will spend on additional "sugar" to calculate your ACTUAL budget (session + extra sugar = total spend). Important: She will want more. Some will want A LOT more and demand that they are worth it. If they are worth it to you AND you don't need to mortgage your house or sell your (car/boat/stock/kids/wife/stolen military secrets/blood/etc.) to fund it, then have fun! If not (and this is key to long time success!) just say no and move on, or counter and then stay firm (no pun intended).
Longevity: Get used to transiency. Some SD/SB arrangements don't survive after the first BCD meet up. Some (rare ones) will go on for several months or more. My longest was about 20 months and ended poorly. But most will last an average of 2 to 4 months-ish. Why? You or she could lose interest, find some one you/she think(s) will be "better", her inner "crazy" will start to emerge (had one 19 yr old that 48 hours after our first afternoon of off-the-hook fun called me panicked that she was going to jail for a non-injury hit and run and needed $2500 for a lawyer. It just got worse from there.) and you will want to distance your self while ramping up with another or taking a break.
Final note: YMMV. Use this advice as a guide and as you are cooking up your own opportunities, "season to taste" along the way. Then hop on the message board and share, please.
As to your specific questions:
1. What do you pay? This will vary by area; market forces drive the economics. The real question you need to answer is: What will YOU pay?
2. Is it worth it? I'll let you know once I figure that out!
Hope that helps.
HerbTCat
I welcome comments and other perspectives from all
Thanks HerbTCat very good information.
I also am new on the SD scene. I am in an area with VERY few SBs listed on SA and live about 4 hours north of Boston so the escort scene is a rarity for me. BP girls are either robbers or into drugs and usually so (fill in your own words) that they would give you nightmares.
I have two questions:
1. I have gone back and read the last 60 days of posts and the knowledge shared is invaluable...thanks guys. But I have a need for discretion in all of this... I know of all the usual stuff like hobby phone, ect..
But there are some things that do not come up when you go the escort route.... like giving your real name at a hotel or your license plate number... things like that. It would be my luck to find some SB when she thinks she has been scorned that would boil my wife's cat on the stove if she could find out that information... how far do you guys go with discretion.(I have read the ones that do not really care or not... I would like input from some that discretion is a priority)
2. This one might need to be answered in PM... not sure of TER's policy.... Are there other sites other than SA that might be a reliable starting point for research into the legitimate potential SBs out there?
Thanks guys for your invaluable knowledge and willing to share.
Jalle
Jalle,
1) I am married but keep my SBs out of town. I don't give them anymore info than my name. None have really asked bout work or any other info that would allow them to track me down. Just use your best judgement about who you see. If you pick up on BSC (Bat Shit Crazy) in the early stages just be careful until you are certain she isn't BSC or at least that kind of BSC. They all suffer from some form of BSC.
2) Lots of others like Secret Benefits, What's Your Price, etc. a lot of them are scams or at least IMHO. SA is the only one that I really seemed to get traction with. By that I mean, actually was able to meet someone. All the others I tried ended up getting hit up by or responded to by cam girls, scammers selling other sites, and crickets.
The Rat Bass Turd (as referred to by Princess
Starting with question #2: TER has been very kind about allowing this conversation here. So we don't want to push their envelope of tolerance. As I understand it, any site they consider a competing Review Site may not be mentioned on TER forums. As for other Sugar Dating sites, the consensus here seems to be that SA is ground zero and the others are not worthwhile.
As for question #1: Your point is well taken. Even those of us who do not need as much privacy and discretion still have a huge desire to avoid the Bunny Boilers, the violent ex BFs and husbands, as well as the merely BSC women. In fact, many here have expressed the opinion that all women are BSC to some degree or other. So how do you stay safe/play safe?
This is possibly the most difficult aspect of Sugar Dating to navigate. There are zero screening procedures in the Sugar Bowl. By contrast, when dating an Escort, if she sees my extensive White List, P411 OKs, and list of reviews, and I see her TER profile and reviews, we both know each other is a safe reliable hobbyist. There's no real need for us to exchange IDs, home addresses, etc.
But Sugar Dating is different. You need to find some way of convincing your SBs that you are a sincere, reliable person. Doing that without sharing your personal info is a challenge. You will have to win her trust, have one, or more than one, coffee dates to demonstrate your reliability, advise her to always tell a trusted friend where she is going and devise a system of check in phone calls to verify that she is ok. It takes time and creativity. Just be as honest as you can with them even if you can't be 100% open with your personal info.
Thanks for the great info...I've got some reading to do