Is it woth it? Newbie advice.
I recently received a PM from a user with some questions about trying the "sugar" life. I think my answers may be of interest to some:
Original question (edited for privacy): Hi. I have not tried sugar babies. I have stuck to providers in the area. I'm curious about your experience. What do you pay and, more importantly, is it worth it?Thanks
My (unfortunately long) reply: Hi, Simple questions, very complicated answers... I'll try to give you the key basics as defined by my experiences: Booking: Booking with an SB is fuzzy, you get to see pics and read her profile, but there are no TER-style reviews so you will need to TOFTT to find out what she will do, what she will expect as "sugar" (i.e.: $$) and if she is cool or totally bat shit crazy. Next, finding an SB to set up a one-time thing or and ongoing thing is much more like hiring an employee than booking a service like a plumber . When hiring a new employee you may need to read up to 100 resumes (profiles) to find 10 that you want to meet. Next you may need to interview (meet & greet) 10-20 of those to find 2 or 3 that will agree to take the job with a negotiated salary (sugar per session or per month) and negotiated benefits (travel, shopping, overnights, etc.). Finally you will need to pick 1 (or two or three if you have the budget and physical/mental stamina) for a weekly, 2 times a month, or whatever schedule you want. There is a parallel case where an SB will immediately agree to meet now-ish for a per meet deal with no specific schedule or even promise for repeat meetings. Meets: Meetings are typically multi-hour (or longer including overnight, weekend travel, etc.) and tend to be (for me MUST be) very date-ish and GFE-ish; maybe a meal at a nice restaurant, a movie or shopping, then behind closed doors (BCD) for intimacy. After, she should stay for cuddle time, etc. No clock watching allowed! Budget: This one is tricky. Although you should be able to negotiate a per meet amount that is lower than the same "quality" in a pro, you will probably be repeating on a regular basis much more frequently than you might with a pro, and you incur additional expense from the non-intimate sugar activities like shopping, concert tickets, meals, etc. You will need to make sure you know what your per session, or per month (divide monthly allowance by # of expected meets per moth) spend is to negotiate within your STATED budget, PLUS you will need to know how much you will spend on additional "sugar" to calculate your ACTUAL budget (session + extra sugar = total spend). Important: She will want more. Some will want A LOT more and demand that they are worth it. If they are worth it to you AND you don't need to mortgage your house or sell your (car/boat/stock/kids/wife/stolen military secrets/blood/etc.) to fund it, then have fun! If not (and this is key to long time success!) just say no and move on, or counter and then stay firm (no pun intended). Longevity: Get used to transiency. Some SD/SB arrangements don't survive after the first BCD meet up. Some (rare ones) will go on for several months or more. My longest was about 20 months and ended poorly. But most will last an average of 2 to 4 months-ish. Why? You or she could lose interest, find some one you/she think(s) will be "better", her inner "crazy" will start to emerge (had one 19 yr old that 48 hours after our first afternoon of off-the-hook fun called me panicked that she was going to jail for a non-injury hit and run and needed $2500 for a lawyer. It just got worse from there.) and you will want to distance your self while ramping up with another or taking a break. Final note: YMMV. Use this advice as a guide and as you are cooking up your own opportunities, "season to taste" along the way. Then hop on the message board and share, please. As to your specific questions:
1. What do you pay? This will vary by area; market forces drive the economics. The real question you need to answer is: What will YOU pay?
2. Is it worth it? I'll let you know once I figure that out! Hope that helps. HerbTCat I welcome comments and other perspectives from all.
Ive been hit up 3 or 4 times on that one.
Posted By: herbtcat
I recently received a PM from a user with some questions about trying the "sugar" life. I think my answers may be of interest to some: Original question (edited for privacy):
Hi. I have not tried sugar babies. I have stuck to providers in the area. I'm curious about your experience. What do you pay and, more importantly, is it worth it?
Thanks
My (unfortunately long) reply:
Hi,
Simple questions, very complicated answers...
I'll try to give you the key basics as defined by my experiences:
Booking: Booking with an SB is fuzzy, you get to see pics and read her profile, but there are no TER-style reviews so you will need to TOFTT to find out what she will do, what she will expect as "sugar" (i.e.: $$) and if she is cool or totally bat shit crazy. Next, finding an SB to set up a one-time thing or and ongoing thing is much more like hiring an employee than booking a service like a plumber . When hiring a new employee you may need to read up to 100 resumes (profiles) to find 10 that you want to meet. Next you may need to interview (meet & greet) 10-20 of those to find 2 or 3 that will agree to take the job with a negotiated salary (sugar per session or per month) and negotiated benefits (travel, shopping, overnights, etc.). Finally you will need to pick 1 (or two or three if you have the budget and physical/mental stamina) for a weekly, 2 times a month, or whatever schedule you want. There is a parallel case where an SB will immediately agree to meet now-ish for a per meet deal with no specific schedule or even promise for repeat meetings.
Meets: Meetings are typically multi-hour (or longer including overnight, weekend travel, etc.) and tend to be (for me MUST be) very date-ish and GFE-ish; maybe a meal at a nice restaurant, a movie or shopping, then behind closed doors (BCD) for intimacy. After, she should stay for cuddle time, etc. No clock watching allowed!
Budget: This one is tricky. Although you should be able to negotiate a per meet amount that is lower than the same "quality" in a pro, you will probably be repeating on a regular basis much more frequently than you might with a pro, and you incur additional expense from the non-intimate sugar activities like shopping, concert tickets, meals, etc. You will need to make sure you know what your per session, or per month (divide monthly allowance by # of expected meets per moth) spend is to negotiate within your STATED budget, PLUS you will need to know how much you will spend on additional "sugar" to calculate your ACTUAL budget (session + extra sugar = total spend). Important: She will want more. Some will want A LOT more and demand that they are worth it. If they are worth it to you AND you don't need to mortgage your house or sell your (car/boat/stock/kids/wife/stolen military secrets/blood/etc.) to fund it, then have fun! If not (and this is key to long time success!) just say no and move on, or counter and then stay firm (no pun intended).
Longevity: Get used to transiency. Some SD/SB arrangements don't survive after the first BCD meet up. Some (rare ones) will go on for several months or more. My longest was about 20 months and ended poorly. But most will last an average of 2 to 4 months-ish. Why? You or she could lose interest, find some one you/she think(s) will be "better", her inner "crazy" will start to emerge (had one 19 yr old that 48 hours after our first afternoon of off-the-hook fun called me panicked that she was going to jail for a non-injury hit and run and needed $2500 for a lawyer. It just got worse from there.) and you will want to distance your self while ramping up with another or taking a break.
Final note: YMMV. Use this advice as a guide and as you are cooking up your own opportunities, "season to taste" along the way. Then hop on the message board and share, please.
As to your specific questions:
1. What do you pay? This will vary by area; market forces drive the economics. The real question you need to answer is: What will YOU pay?
2. Is it worth it? I'll let you know once I figure that out!
Hope that helps.
HerbTCat
I welcome comments and other perspectives from all.
but same idea. She texted me that she needed more money to pay off her phone bill. This was after I'd spent a considerable sum on her and we had agreed on a number of dates. Bullshit. But also, my longest arrangement lasted over a year and 21 dates with a tiny angel for very little $$ per date. Those elusive unicorns are out there!
Pretty thoughtful post and almost dead accurate from my perspective. I've never had one of these arrangements last more than a couple of months so am impressed you had one go for almost 2 years. I love the hiring an employee vs. hiring a plumber comparison. It does feel like you are interviewing when you are meeting a new SB and at least once an arrangement is consumated, the at will nature of things makes it something to be exited quickly without getting HR involved and no severance payout!
As to the final question "is it worth it", I have mixed feelings. I think for the right SB, it might be but definitely a lot more work in getting to the action than setting up a meeting with a provider
E~
Appreciate the props.
That's the shortest message I have every seen you leave. I'm worried that you might be feeling weak (from your unicorn break up) or worse yet, you lost your gift for keyboard diarrhea (naw that would never happen).
Posted By: principium
E~Posted By: herbtcat
I recently received a PM from a user with some questions about trying the "sugar" life. I think my answers may be of interest to some: Original question (edited for privacy):
Hi. I have not tried sugar babies. I have stuck to providers in the area. I'm curious about your experience. What do you pay and, more importantly, is it worth it?
Thanks
My (unfortunately long) reply:
Hi,
Simple questions, very complicated answers...
I'll try to give you the key basics as defined by my experiences:
Booking: Booking with an SB is fuzzy, you get to see pics and read her profile, but there are no TER-style reviews so you will need to TOFTT to find out what she will do, what she will expect as "sugar" (i.e.: $$) and if she is cool or totally bat shit crazy. Next, finding an SB to set up a one-time thing or and ongoing thing is much more like hiring an employee than booking a service like a plumber . When hiring a new employee you may need to read up to 100 resumes (profiles) to find 10 that you want to meet. Next you may need to interview (meet & greet) 10-20 of those to find 2 or 3 that will agree to take the job with a negotiated salary (sugar per session or per month) and negotiated benefits (travel, shopping, overnights, etc.). Finally you will need to pick 1 (or two or three if you have the budget and physical/mental stamina) for a weekly, 2 times a month, or whatever schedule you want. There is a parallel case where an SB will immediately agree to meet now-ish for a per meet deal with no specific schedule or even promise for repeat meetings.
Meets: Meetings are typically multi-hour (or longer including overnight, weekend travel, etc.) and tend to be (for me MUST be) very date-ish and GFE-ish; maybe a meal at a nice restaurant, a movie or shopping, then behind closed doors (BCD) for intimacy. After, she should stay for cuddle time, etc. No clock watching allowed!
Budget: This one is tricky. Although you should be able to negotiate a per meet amount that is lower than the same "quality" in a pro, you will probably be repeating on a regular basis much more frequently than you might with a pro, and you incur additional expense from the non-intimate sugar activities like shopping, concert tickets, meals, etc. You will need to make sure you know what your per session, or per month (divide monthly allowance by # of expected meets per moth) spend is to negotiate within your STATED budget, PLUS you will need to know how much you will spend on additional "sugar" to calculate your ACTUAL budget (session + extra sugar = total spend). Important: She will want more. Some will want A LOT more and demand that they are worth it. If they are worth it to you AND you don't need to mortgage your house or sell your (car/boat/stock/kids/wife/stolen military secrets/blood/etc.) to fund it, then have fun! If not (and this is key to long time success!) just say no and move on, or counter and then stay firm (no pun intended).
Longevity: Get used to transiency. Some SD/SB arrangements don't survive after the first BCD meet up. Some (rare ones) will go on for several months or more. My longest was about 20 months and ended poorly. But most will last an average of 2 to 4 months-ish. Why? You or she could lose interest, find some one you/she think(s) will be "better", her inner "crazy" will start to emerge (had one 19 yr old that 48 hours after our first afternoon of off-the-hook fun called me panicked that she was going to jail for a non-injury hit and run and needed $2500 for a lawyer. It just got worse from there.) and you will want to distance your self while ramping up with another or taking a break.
Final note: YMMV. Use this advice as a guide and as you are cooking up your own opportunities, "season to taste" along the way. Then hop on the message board and share, please.
As to your specific questions:
1. What do you pay? This will vary by area; market forces drive the economics. The real question you need to answer is: What will YOU pay?
2. Is it worth it? I'll let you know once I figure that out!
Hope that helps.
HerbTCat
I welcome comments and other perspectives from all.