How late does a chick have to be before you tell her to not bother coming?
One thing that surprised me in my early hobby days was how utterly awful the girls were about being on time. I did almost all outcalls. Being very late (30 min or more) was the norm, not the exception. Tardiness was also the norm when I switched to sugar world.
Over time my tolerance for tardiness has decreased. If she's a good communicator, I can tolerate a lot. If she's not, my fuse is short.
You guys know that it's nothing for a chick -- whose life is a randomized collection of flying squirrel shrapnel -- to be unable to navigate to a specific location, with days of notice and precise coordinates and frequent updates, within 30 minutes of the scheduled time.
For a regular chick, I'm relatively easygoing. She's regular because she's also a good communicator. If I know she's coming, but she's just going to be late, and I know about how late, I'll adjust. No problem. But new chicks who confirm a specific time, and who confirm again, and then just sort of realize, all the sudden, that they aren't even fully dressed when they're supposed to be knocking on my door, cause me to lose patience.
Most recent example was last week in a major midwestern city. Early 20s white stewardess. Not her first rodeo. She had a 40 minute drive. Was to meet me at 10am. Then 11am. Then noon. Then excuses. Missed exit. Construction. Blah blah. I give her credit for communicating. But when she missed noon, I was done and I told her so, as gently as I could, with all intent of still seeing her when she could make it happen. (I had a 2pm business appointment and I wasn't going to be rushed with her.) She gushed apology in her texts and I told her other times that would work. She just ghosted.)
So my bottom line is, I won't suffer one minute of anxiety waiting for a chick to show up. If she doesn't communicate well, I assume she's a NS. If she communicates and she's only 30 minutes late or maybe an hour (AND she's on her way), no problem. More than that, no matter how well she communicates, I'm no longer available.
How much late time do you allow a girl?
Rockford
I generally have a window of other commitments. So if it looks like the window is going to close, that's it.
.
And yes, chicks are generally terrible about promptness. But not all. I'd say older gals are generally better (excepting the ones who've never outgrown their bad habits.)
I have learned my lesson being stood up and I generally designate the meeting place to be a coffee shop or other place where I can comfortably do something else besides only waiting. If she shows up (early or on time) then great. If she shows up late (or not at all) then I had a nice time away from my daily routine.
Being on time (i.e.: actually, arriving early) and providing proactive, specific communication have been part of my core professional skill set throughout my 35+ year career. It just pisses me off when I have to wait on someone else - especially when their "reason" is either stupid or total bullshit.
BUT: There are reasons SB's need money. For far too many, the biggest reason is that they lack key professional skills needed to succeed; arriving on time, delivering on promises, research and planning, clear focus on objectives and KPI's, etc. That these deficiencies show in her Sugar behavior should not be a surprise.
For this discussion, I think it's useful to split into two types of appointments - M&G's and scheduled BCD dates. I've seen some legendary bad behavior on M&G's. One recent disaster that comes to mind: A very hot 23-yr old AA spinner. Her pics showed her in upscale clothes, well-manicured, flawless makeup, not-quite professional locations. We agreed to a M&G at a Starbucks local to both of us at 3:00 pm. She told me she had a hair appointment at 10:00 am and she was anxious to show off her new "do" to me when we met. As my usual practice, I arrived 15 minutes early so I could scout the area for any possible danger signs (a nearby pimp or other co-conspirators in case this was a set up), grab a suitable table (away from others and noise), connect to WiFi and order an ice tea. I sent her a text about 10 mins before 3:00 pm - no reply. Now I tell myself I will allow a 15-minute grace period for M&G's. But in practice, I will wait up to 30 minutes without a response from her. At around 15 mins late, I send a message hoping she's "ok" and asking for a status. At 25 minutes with no response, I send a message that I will be leaving in 5.
At 3:26 she sends me a text: "Sorry, I'm still getting my hair done." Umm... what the actual fuck? 5+ hours to get your hair done. Then I remembered what getting "hair done" means with an AA date. She's getting a new weave. Now if you have dated (or lived with!) an AA woman, you know. If you have not, you have an interesting experience ahead of you when you do. She told me she's definitely done by 4:00 pm and she was less than 2 miles away. She also told me she was looking forward to showing me her new hair do, especially while she was naked. So yeah... I agreed to wait.
At 4:30 she tells me she's finally done. So that's 6.5 hours to get her hair done and 1.5 hours late. Now let's go back to that "I'm 2 miles away" thing... nope, she didn't read the Starbucks location address I had sent 4 days ago. She spent 30 minutes supposedly driving around the parking lot looking for Starbucks. She was calling out other businesses she could see as landmarks, and I finally realized she was in the wrong strip mall - about 4 miles north. I was annoyed of course, but... she definitely said "naked!" So I waited.
At 5:15 pm she parks in front of the Starbucks. I had so many ice teas at that point I had peed 3 times. We had a pleasant conversation but ultimately could not get past 2 road-blocks. She hates BJ's and she would not go BB (with a fresh test) for less than $1k ppm. (Hey, a new weave is expensive!) So total waste of time - unless you count the additional Starbucks rewards points I earned a win.
Now about BCD dates: I have less tolerance for repeated tardiness here. We have an established arrangement. She knows that I have a busy schedule in the short term and can only be flexible over longer times frames (2-ish + weeks).
If she's a no show, or more than an hour late w/o comms, I back-bench her. Of course, I do it nicely: Hey looks like we got our wires crossed. Let's try to reschedule in two weeks when my calendar clears up. If this becomes a recurring pattern, say more than twice out of 5 dates, I ice her: Hey, I think you need to work out your schedules and availability. I had to cancel several plans and had to eat the costs of some deposits. Let me know when you are confident that we can meet as planned, please.
BTW OP: "...whose life is a randomized collection of flying squirrel shrapnel..." - Fucking hilarious!
Life is good
The Cat
My regular SBs either show up on time, let me know they might be a few minutes late, or I'm meeting them at their place so of course I'm on time. Several current and recent SBs have been willing to drive the 50 miles from their city to mine for our dates. So it always astonishes me to have fresh, grade a pussy, delivered right to my doorstep, and right on time. However, it's a different story when it comes to M&Gs, as Herb noted. Sometimes they show uyp exactly on time. since I too always arrive early to get a table and scope out the scene, it's lovely to get that text msg saying I'm here and meet her at the entrance. But far too often they go to the wrong Starbucks (yup, same thing!), or lost track of time or simply don't show up, no explanation. If the M&G is in my town, I hardly care. I have a nice lunch by myself in one of my favorite lunch spots. But if I drove 50 miles and she's late or a no show, it's a much bigger waste of time and energy. I'll give her an extra 30 minutes to show up, then I give up on her.
There's one more aspect to all this, and that's my pharmaceutical window of opportunity. I know exactly what dosage, combination, and timing of my ED meds will give me consistently excellent results. I time things so I will have maximum benefit from the pills at show time. If she's an hour late, my best results will be compromised. If she's much later than that, I'll probably cancel. There's no point in spending $$ on a date if I might not be able to perform at my best.
I loved "pharmaceutical window of opportunity" -- priceless. Thanks, Sweetman!!
If it is a phrase I've just missed by not being around for three or four years, my loss....