I’m not trying to re-hash all the previous discussions of orgasms (some are real, some are fake). Nor the discussions of the quality of the fake ones (some are bad actors, some are good actors and some are great actors). I’m not even discussing the quality of the DATY provided.
First off. I enjoy DATY. I’m OK at it. I’ve gotten better at it over the years, but I do it for your pleasure not mine. What I do get from it stems from YOUR pleasure. I know there are guys that do it for other reasons as well.
What I’m simply saying here is that if you’re not going to enjoy it or make the most of it, I’d like to know up front. If not, then we can spend the majority of our time and efforts, maximizing my pleasure. Some girls specialize in this (tantra, massage, oral only, etc.). Yes, I know that may sound crass and somewhat selfish, but that’s why it’s hard to bring up the subject.
If you are truly in the mood for an orgasm then let’s discuss it. I’m always willing to be a part of that experience. Maybe you will, maybe you won’t. Part of that will depend on me.
BTW, I’m sure I’ve had some great experiences where I left thinking that we both had a great time, but in reality only I “got off”. Those were OK. That’s part of the hobby experience as well. I’m just saying that those instances were not my first preference.
I’m not sure why I think differently about this aspect than I do when you are acting about being my girlfriend. I do bring this up with regulars. Maybe the orgasm is just another aspect of "the act". What are some of the angles I might be missing?
-- Modified on 2/17/2008 3:01:37 PM
some men are better than others. how is a woman supposed to know if a new man can do it? much more complicated than men. why must an O be necessary? woman still enjoy it. maybe you should view it as your turning her on for the main event. if it happens it happens. if your mind is just on the O your probably rushing or getting aggervated while doing it which is not going to give her one. when your worried about the outcome, means that you want her to have one because you think it will make her perform at her best on you. which is fine. but it's pretty obvious to her when your rushing her for an O that your not doing it because you like it.
-- Modified on 2/17/2008 2:20:47 PM
Good point about still enjoying the effort. In my post I stressed too much the end game of the O, rather than the journey. I should have asked rather if you know you don't want DATY then stop me before I start.
I don't rush anyone, if she's clearly enjoying it, then I keep going, until she tells me (or indicates) it's over. If she's faking from the start, the only way to get me to quit is to then fake the ending.
Personally I like your style. If she doesn't want it just say so..saves you the effort. I think I know why you feel like this about the DATY and not about much else...you are not that into it UNLESS she is and the other activities are directly proportionate to your pleasure resulting in your orgasm. And for that you don't mind a little "Oscar". No problem.
IMHO the whole "GFE" thing is an act unless you have an ASP as your real live girlfriend. Come on people, you guys are renting us for a period of time to "act" like a real girlfriend would minus the relationship. I wholeheartedly admit I'm a great actress because I am already someones girlfriend and I'm playing pretend with you. Mr DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up.....
Another aspect. I realize that for the most part the whole GFE thing is "usually" an act. I get that and accept it. But parts of it, the orgasm especially, is more personal than others. So if the lady's is going to be fake, I'd rather not be an active participant in the charade.
-- Modified on 2/21/2008 9:27:33 PM
... you to know it necessarily... Many ladies have very serious boundaries regarding their true intimacies. Ed, we get to "rent" it and have very little to say about how they should respond to us. I share your ideas in this area, but only to a point. My tactic is to research and or do intel. with other hobbyists because this is very much a YMMV biz and even if your skills rank up there with the best, she may not BE INTO YOU...
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't... I always have a great time trying! Orgasms can be finicky things. If it's about her pleasure as you say, then enjoy the game and let go of the "goal".
If you are willing to "go for it" and enjoy the ride so to speak, then I'm certainly there for you.
Still, are there times (maybe few and far between for you) when you pretty much know it's not gonna happen or you'd rather not try? Those are the moments I'm focusing on.
I guess I should have originally asked if there are times when you'd prefer not to have me DATY, then state THAT up front.
-- Modified on 2/17/2008 2:43:45 PM
We ladies don't always know if we are going to orgasm. It's not something that will always happen and it's a very subjective thing. We can go into it thinking we want one but that doesn't mean it's going to happen. For me personally, I like the feel of intercourse or oral but if I don't get there, that's fine. It can still feel really good without it, even though I'd rather.
But as it's always said... every woman is different. For some getting off is very important and for some it's not.
...For a couple of reasons. First of all, how is a lady possibly going to know if you can give her an orgasm or not? It DOES have something to do with you after all. Granted there are some providers who have absolutely no interest in cumming but honestly, in the GFE price range I don't think that sort of attitude is very prevalent. Most ladies want to enjoy the session and, though their orgasm may not be the priority, they are certainly going to enjoy it if it comes along.
Secondly, you have to remember that part of her pitch is the fantasy. Obviously the number of threads here about female orgasms would indicate that it is important to many guys. I can't imagine that any enterprising lady is going to tell you up front not to bother trying to please her.
Finally I would say this. Do whatever makes you happy. I happen to love DATY and the sound of a woman having an O...or two...or five. I really enjoy having a gal cuddle up after an orgasm with a look of contentment or attacking my cock with a "yeah, well top this!" sort of vengeance! Her cumming is a big part of the fun for me. If you don't enjoy it, or feel like it is a waste of time or money when you are paying then don't do it.
-- Modified on 2/17/2008 2:58:43 PM
As I stated in my replies above, I really didn't mean to focus on the O, but rather the whole DATY experience. I guess I need to review my posts better before hitting Enter, LOL.
Anyway, I think you are right about the majority of well reviewed ladies in the GFE price range do indeed enjoy and want the “oral receiving” experience. Those that aren't that into it most assuredly won’t bring it up.
I guess the end point of my thought is that if I ask her about her desires before each session; I would like an honest answer. It would maximize the pleasure, all the way around, on both sides.
So, thanks to everyone helping me get to my real question:
How many ladies would give an honest answer to my question?
-- Modified on 2/17/2008 3:36:59 PM
I usually respond to the OP before reading other responses. Didn't mean to "pile on"
Ed, i hear ya, and you make a perfectly valid point. for some men who see providers, pleasing the woman (or at least making their best effort at doing so) is a huge part of the appeal...it boosts the ego and self-confidence, can leave a guy feeling like a stud.
this is why i'm a firm believer in getting to know someone a bit BEFORE we meet face to have. exchange email, some phone conversations, learn about each other and find out exactly what sort of woman and experience he's looking for. then we can determine compatibility, and decide whether or not a meeting would be a beneficial and pleasant thing for us both. i always make it clear to men in this pre-meeting getting to know you period that i am a 100% submissive provider, and therefore am not comfortable with someone trying to please me sexually and am especially not comfortable with DATY. then if he's the sort of guy who wants to make a girl "get off" or writhe around in ecstasy, he knows to move on and there's no harm done or feelings hurt.
whats going to get us there all the time.
we ALL LIKE it.
all women LOL.
we just dont always like it and we dont like it with everyone.
the majority of guys dont do it right and dont listen when we tell them.
guys say they want us to tell them what to do but in reality, guys just want to hear that they're doing it right.
i absolutely love it but i'm hesitant sometimes to go there with a new guy cuz there's been so many BAD experiences with it. ... i have to be really comfortable that he's going to listen to directions.
its a very sensitive area
-- Modified on 2/17/2008 4:32:26 PM
there's not a more specific "White List" validating certain specific hobbyist attributes and skills, LOL, j/k.
Anyway, I have brought this up before with regulars. Sometimes they are just not all that fired up to expend their engery that way, and would rather focus on getting me off. I really appreciate knowing. It's great being able to communicate like that. Other times the same woman ruins and wets the entire bed as I chase her around it, all the while trying to avoid her snapping my neck like a twig.
"we ALL LIKE it.
all women LOL."
please speak for yourself chickadee. i've made it clear countless times that i don't care for it, and i'm certainly not the only one, tho i realize we are few and far between.
Not so much about you ladies that are clearly on your side of the issue, but I was hoping to recognize the ones that go back and forth.
Certainly there are ladies that will almost always enjoy a gentlemen trying his best at DATY. And I'll even include those that will enjoy going much if not most of the time. Now of course there can be a multitude of reasons why any particular time ends up bad or less than good, but that's not where I was heading.
And then there are others such as yourself that can either take or leave, or just plain leave it.
I was trying to connect with those in the middle that usually enjoy it, but have their days when they just might rather not. To them I say, tell me and we can move on with no regrets. Or if we start and it's just not working (or I'm just not working it right after enough correction attempts), then again, let's move on.
sorry,
i got a lil overlicked and had to take a break from it for a year a while back ... it was the best move ever because when i came back, it was soooo good again.
but during that year, it really annoyed me that guys were always hounding for it so i realize the last thing you need is some fucktard telling guys that ALL women love it
sorry about that.. i was thinking more along the lines of ... women like oral just as much as men like bj's ..
but i guess there's some men that dont like bj's
either. dunno
thats just 6 different attempts to get you to stop
Now wouldn't THAT look just ridculous, me doing a preliminary Punanny scan for previous evidence of over use.
I once had a provider who hadn't had a client in three days. She was horny and daty with her then was real. Juicy, tasty, copious girly cum which we shared in a reverse snoball.
really...some of you guys crack_me_up.
"if you're not going to enjoy it or make the most of it, I’d like to know up front"
"I do it for your pleasure not mine"
"If you are truly in the mood for an orgasm then let’s discuss it"
"Maybe the orgasm is just another aspect of "the act". What are some of the angles I might be missing?"
Oh my...
I'm sorry I can't give a more considered response right now. Seriously, I'm fallin' off my chair...
hahahahahahahahahaha. OMG.
I have seen one lady several times who enjoys my technique but just doesn't "O".
Just go slow and light and you have me screaming.
Anytime you come to Philly look me up.
I love oral not just on the one area! Anything is game on the bod..like tongues, nipples, neck, ass, etc.
Good luck. Shane
-- Modified on 2/17/2008 9:57:13 PM
The Edgar Allan Poe House and a Cheese Steak.
I’ll try my darndest to ring your Liberty Bell 
my bell will be rung many many times without you even cracking it!!!!
Ding Dong Dick....LMAO
I happen to like DATY at that certain time of the month. I'm always surprised that there many women dont share my enthusiasm.
You will want to make sure your walls are not paper thin. LOL