I know this is suppose to be a haven for providers/hobbyist to come together and have conversation,judgement left at the door..I was debating whether or not to even post this..but as embarrassing as it is,I figure I minds well put myself out there.For goodness sake I have naked pictures out there on ads so the heck with it...So the problem I have is...i kinda caught feelings for a regular client of mines.When I first got into this industry ,almost a year ago,he was like one of my first clients..Needless to say we hit it off immediately..and now almost a year later I really believe I have deep feelings for him.I know the rules of the game..leave feelings at the door..but is it really fair to expect us female's  not to develop feelings or become emotionally attached to a client..especially since we are engaging in one of the most intimate acts amongst human beings?...has anyone every caught feelings/dated a client/provider and how was your experience(how did you deal with it?

Not exactly, but it's nice to know that providers fall for their clients also.  

-- Modified on 3/26/2016 11:16:40 AM

Of course it is natural to develop feelings for some people. There are people, providers and clients, for whom such feelings never happen. But don't expect to be one of them. In fact they may be in a minority truth be told.  

The trick is dealing with those feelings when they inevitably arise. While you must decide for yourself, the usual wisdom is to maintain distance no matter how you feel. Best of luck to you!

No disrespect...but really what question on on this board is really an "original"question?..at some point im sure all the discussions on this board has been answered at some point of time...I do my research.I've perused through the board looking for a similar topic to help aid in my curiosity...after 16pages..I'm like well maybe its not on here..let me post...Hunnie when I posed this question I wasn't hoping to provoke some new found unheard of topic...i had a question..wanted insight..simple..im really unsure if your response..was even worth you taking the time out to reply to?..you didn't add anything noteworthy..so again..your reasoning for your comment..ill wait for it

To my first responder.Ter sent me your response..but left out the rest of your message..that's why I responded the way I did,it just showed a blank message

Believe me,I'm not an emotional female,not one to be easily swayed by my emotions or words from guys...i understand distance..but its hard to do when recently he started dropping the "L " bomb..and let me tell you.hes a very unemotional guy..Capricorn man I'm sure bday in December..so it's just uncharacteristic of him

It happens all of the time! I mean, just looking at the surface of this game/hobby, whatever you want to call it. Client selects a woman of his choice, to his physical liking, reviews may have something to do with it, but lets face it, the physical attraction is what gets the client to call. Provider, blind to the looks of the client, probably seeing obese middle aged males all day and then boom, in walks a client that is to her liking, thats where the YMMV thing comes into play. They engage in a physical session, mind-blowing in nature. She gives off cuddle hints, he thinks they are just apart of the normal routine, but what if they aren't? What if she likes him and he likes her but neither have enough courage to show the real them? If you have been seeing him for some time now, chances are that the feeling may be mutual, you enjoy his company and he continues to pay for yours. Trust your gut, there are all sorts of ways to navigate this dilemma. But what has to be taken into account is his and your situation reality wise. Is he attached to someone else? Are you willing to quit providing if he isn't and wants to go further? Is he cool with you continuing to provide if the 2 of you do go further. Is he seeing other providers? How does that make you feel? Can you deal with that? Will it be in the back of your mind if the two of you were together? Etc...

I do have experience in this department, and am willing to share my thoughts if you want my 2 cents.  
PM if any questions.

But I knew coming in that there is zero future no matter what so that kept me in correct perspective.

OTH from a provider's POV I'd say your odd is much better than mine.  

I assumed you already know his personality and character well? once you're sure he's a good guy. Well, beside the fact that he sees prostitutes, LOL. Do you think the feeling is mutual? any hint whatsoever he wants to be more than client?

If it's strictly a one way street I would say forget about it.  

If you see encouraging signs from him than it depends. Is he single? If not is he ready to leave his SO for you? If he is not will you be happy playing Mistress?

If there's a glimmer of hope I'd say go for it. It took me half a lifetime to realize I've had a lot of regrets. Regrets for things I did not do a lot more than the things I did do. Don't be like me ;-

END OF MESSAGE

I figure I minds well put myself out there. Context would suggest you meant to say "I figure that I might as well put myself out there".

I kinda caught feelings for a regular client of mines. Does this person purchase mines? What kind of mines, land mines or aquatic mines? Or did you mean "I kind of caught feelings for a regular client of mine"?  

As far as what I can make out of your post, has anyone ever developed feelings for/dated a client/provider? Be careful, this subject has been discussed at length many times in here. It's a bad idea to pursue those feelings/ideas, this is a very slippery slope you are encroaching which leads to emotional and financial heartache. Of this guy is your client, the one of two scenarios are likely. First, he's married or has a SO who he's not likely to leave for you. Second, he doesn't want the hassle and stress of a relationship, so he sees providers to satiate his carnal desires. If you approach him with these feelings he will likely use that knowledge to manipulate free sex from you untils he tired of you. It is probably best for you to keep the situation as it is, get paid and fantasize about your sessions as if they meant more. Not much good ever comes of crossing the indelible line of our world. Sex is sex, fantasy is fantasy, if you're looking for dates I suggest match or one of those dating sites, looking for more than sex or getting paid in this world is mostly a lose/lose proposition.

I sincerely wish you the best in your situation, I'd like nothing better than if you would prove me wrong. But I suspect that you won't.

Good luck

If both of you can keep it in perspective, then why not?

It can be fun to explore things when together. Fan those embers, let things ignite, and enjoy your time together. That doesn't happen all the time, and it can make for some really great times.

As long as both parties involved understand, it can be a very rewarding, intense time.

Your true feelings.

Not sure if he is married or whatever.....

Not sure if feelings are mutual that you and he can continue with the industry.  

Have you just had sessions? or OTC time....

My ask is how can one really know iof the feelings are true, 1 hour a week BCD

Of course it's ok to have feelings for each other.  And strong feelings are fine too.  It may not ever amount to anything or it may.  Just like real life - people if they're lucky care deeply about people we meet. And it may never amount to something- or it may.  

Actually, I think having feelings in this world are more honest than outside it.  Everyone knows what to expect.  It's not like someone has to impress anyone as we all know how the evening will end.  We don't know who the other person really is most but not all of the time, but that's honest too in its own unusual way as there's nothing to judge - just two people hopefully seeing the best of each other.  And if they like what they see and like how the evening (or afternoon) ends and want to do it again.. and again..  that sounds pretty good and pretty darn normal to me.

So my advice is to go be normal - crazy as that is.

Are you interested in having an actual relationship with this client?

If yes, then you should consider telling him how you feel and see if he's interested as well...

If no, then you have 2 choices...you can keep seeing him as a client, or you have to cut him loose...

In fact I still think very fondly of her. It didn't happen and I moved about a yr later. Some men would date a provider and not care about her job ect. Some wouldn't. For you I think you should tell him you have feelings and see how he responds. If he s married I might rethink it or if you think him meeting you as an escort would cause you trust issues later (ie worried he s cheating)  but for the most part people who play in this world are the same as anyone else. If they are single or in a bad relationship they might very well welcome it.  
         Either way you should be honest and maybe even move on if it hurts because the longer it goes the more your feelings are likely to develope.  

 

It's all about how you decide to deal with it. I don't think anyone can tell you exactly how to handle it.  You'll have to weigh the pros and cons and go from there. I suspect if we were all honest about it, it probably happens more than we'd care to admit.  No matter how hard hearted you are and how much you tell yourself to keep an "arms length" relationship, sometimes a strong connection, combined with true kindness, chemistry, and sincere consideration will melt the heart and form a warm bond.  Best of luck with whatever you decide.

I had feelings for a client of mine, he was married, I saw him a few times, then I didn't hear from him for a couple of years  
One day he responded to my blog and he asked me out, off the clock, I happily said yes
We are still together now, it's been five years , he's still married and I'm happy to be his mistress for several reasons. He's a great guy.

Best Post of the Month.

By FAR

Zak

Move on immediately. Even if he was to say he could handle what you do for a living, that is a lie. Are there exception, probably. Not worth the risk to find out in my opinion.

Under the heading I've fallen for my provider...  but both parties need to take a hard look at where they are & where they see this going.  If you are both available, why not?   If he's using the "L word" then he has feelings too.  Go slow.  
It's easy to say it won't work but there are a few folks who post here regularly...  either are in a relationship with a current or former provider.  Maybe a minority but also too many or say "Never".  We are all human beings & capable of all the human emotions.  Both of you will have to be willing to take a risk...  
I'm a born romantic...  so you can guess what I'd do.    
Best wishes...

I'm in the same situation with the provider I'm seeing. I never expected to get this close to her. But it happened. I was just looking for a provider to replace the one I was seeing because she moved out state. In this game it can happen that a provider will develop feelings for a client and vice versa. So far with me it's still great after three years.

have caught feelings, it is also crucial to inform others you have been with, they could have caught them too.  We don't want that shit spreading around the community.   Good luck, I wish you a speedy recovery!

Yes, I have feelings for my atfs, and former atfs. I love them all. But having a relationship with them is entirely different. Some ladies and gentlemen do, but from my perspective, it's something that doesn't interest me. It would ruin perfection.  

I've been approached to start outside relationships three different times, and each time I said no. Interestingly enough, one of them married a different hobbyist, so she finally got her wish. Happy for both of them, and so far it's working.

Yes this does get brought up a lot. IMO the short answer is don't do it....from what I've heard usually doesn't end well...and yes it could work too....so there's no right or wrong answer...and for me in providing and other endevours I've always remained pretty professional yet warm at the same time and never understanding why a woman would give freebies,catch feelings etc but I will say lol that with the amazing clients I've been getting lately ( who hopefully dont read this board!! Lol!) yes I can see why you would and could catch feelings....not sure I would act on it ever... But imo if the feelings grow strong enough then you all will probably have no choice but to give it a try.... Good luck !!!

Am I in love with my ATF?  Absolutely.  Is she the only provider I see?  Hell, no.  Human beings are polyamorous.  I would never act as though she belongs to me, and I would run for the door if she ever tried to make a "claim" on me.  Feelings/Love can and will happen in an intimate business like this.  What you need to decide is if you can realistically have a relationship with this particular client, or if things are best the way they are now.  Maybe the best way to approach this is not to tell him how you feel, but instead to play "20 questions."  Ask him to imagine that he has fallen in love with a provider, and then find out what his wants and expectations are surrounding said "hypothetical" relationship.  If his wants and expectations match yours, then feel free to proceed with telling him how you feel.  If not, just keep things the way they are and enjoy your limited time with him.

-- Modified on 3/28/2016 8:55:38 AM

That's the story I hear. The girl falls in love, she runs away with him, he finds out she's human as fuck and she doesn't act like an escort 24/7

These guys can drop you like a fly within a split second and have zero consequences. You'll be pissed at yourself for giving of yourself for no investment, and then get dropped like you're an escort or something lol!!

Just be careful and be prepared to charge even for "love". If he likes you more, why should he take care of you less? Some things to think about. Xo

-- Modified on 3/29/2016 9:44:35 AM

Read you guys replies,and i played it professional.Kept a level head and stuck woth the business

Great way of wording it