About one month ago I made a appointment with a very nice lady that will be touring to my area next month. While this will be our first encounter, it is actually our second attempt. The last time we tried to meet a few weeks ago, she had to cancel due to travel issues.
I just noticed that she has just recently increased her published rate from $$$ to $$$$ (her popularity has been increasing lately). I am definitely still going to see her, but I'm pondering if or how to address this. Of course I know I could simply contact her and ask, but for some reason that seems cheap to me. I’ve come up with different ideas for addressing this either before, during or after our encounter, all are light hearted and positive, but I’m interested in what everyone thinks. I’m not trying to nor am I going to make a big deal out of this. The easiest thing to do would be to just pay the new rate and forget it because seeing her is more important to me than the increase. I’m curious about how others have handled it.
Sir, you don't have any position...Since you've never seen her, how can you expect her to "grandfather" you into the old rate... Now, one way you might get the lower rate is to book multiple hour date... a 8x might be 75x or less... if you risk the other position, and I were her, I'd tell you to fuck off...
I don't expect to be grandfathered in FOREVER, just this once, maybe. It's the 2 month waiting period that makes things hazy.
Like I said below, if the waiting period between booking at old rate and scheduled date was theoretically only one day or two, would your response have been different?
How about manning up and NOT using an alias? You people crack me up.
-M
Did you stop to think that I didn't want the provider in question to catch on, until I was ready to address the situation with her? Although my efforts may have been for naught LOL (see below).
BTW, remember that until you post your real name, address and telephone number, you too are using an alias, just not as tight a one LOL.
-- Modified on 2/11/2008 7:38:40 PM
is the one that was active at time you booked the current appointment. If it went up after you made the appt, the new rate should not apply to you.
In normal business, if I book an order at one price and the seller raises their price before delivery, it's on the seller not me. Sometimes the contract is written based on when payment is due, but only if explicitly written into the contract.
Now granted, two months is a fairly long time between booking and delivery for this business, but for you guys that think absolutely that it's one me, answer me this.
Today I book a date today, scheduled for tomorrow and she raises the rate tonight. Just what do you think the time limit is? One day? Two days? One week?
But your first booking was cancelled, thus cancelled the first booking rate. You have set a new booking, thus the new booking rate.
b-
I booked once and she cancelled due to a scheduling conflict on her end.
Then I rebooked soon afterward (at the old rate).
One month has now elapsed since the rebooking (at the old rate).
She now raised her rates and my appointment is in 3 weeks.
You obviously have some strong feelings regarding the extra donation. Instead of going through these mental gyrations regarding your justification for the lower donation, and ask yourself, can you keep giving the higher donation from effecting your time with her, and can you bring up the issue without coming across like a cheapskate? You cannot neccesarily equate the rules for product delivery with service delivery. You are not just making a donation for a meeting with person A, but a meeting with person A, at place B, during time C. If any of these factors have changed, the service has changed. You've said two months have elapsed, then talk about a hypothetical situation where the donation changes overnight. Hmmm! Oh! A third question. Do you think you might possibly want to see her again. If yes, I think you know which is the safest way to go, even if she tells you what you want to hear.
In my original post I clearly stated it didn't matter, I was prepared to pay the extra, only that I was curious, but those words didn't mean anything to you I guess.
Since I rebooked with her at the old price for a specific date and time, NOTHING has changed on my end.
Since you stated that in your opinion, that her change was to be absorbed by me, I thought I'd take the 2 month waiting period out of the equation (theoretically).
So if today YOU booked a date, scheduled for tomorrow at a given price, and then she raised her rate THAT night, you would absorb the increase? Probably not. How about if the time period was one week?
One question I have is, how much are we talking about? I mean if her donation went up $200, then I might mention something. If it is $40-$50, then I wouldn't even think about it. I would feel like I was being cheap. (not saying anything bad about "caught_in_the_middle) Just the way I am. I never use coupons at the grocery store, or get the Drink special of the night. I do understand what you posted and you plan on the new giving her the new amount. Just my 2 cents....
I was quite aware of what you stated in your original post, however it seems to contridict the fact that you are spending allot of time, energy and thought on this issue.
Besides, you still haven't answered my qustions; especially the third one. I have no investment in your decision. I'm only giving you one opinion of many. Good luck.
just like I first stated, I'm curious about it and it's an interesting situation. I like trying to come up with novel and interesting ways to handle situations. This clearly comes up from time to time, but it's a first for me, after over twenty years.
OK answers to your questions, sorry
Q: "can you keep giving the higher donation from effecting your time with her,"
I assume you meant to say, Can you prevent not giving her the higher donation from affecting your time with her?
A: No I don't think so. It would affect the time, so I plan to pay the extra, but I do want to bring it up though if I can find a way to do it in a positive and novel fashion.
Q: "can you bring up the issue without coming across like a cheapskate?"
A: I don't know? As stated, that was one of my initial concerns, but it is also one of my goals to find way to bring it up without coming across as a cheapskate.
Q: "Do you think you might possibly want to see her again?"
A: I have absolutely NO idea on that one, as I have never been with even once yet. I think I always hope that every session ends up as being such a high quality that the desire to repeat is very high. I'll just have to wait and see how it turns out. But I get your drift, that it would be foolish to do anything that might jeopardize that prospect.
Thanks for all your thoughts.
-- Modified on 2/11/2008 5:30:36 PM
It's definitely a sticky situation you're in. I think I've learned allot from the differing responses you've received. If you do bring it up, I think it would work better to do so before you meet, and just say something like, "I'm a bit confused as to the donation. If she states the higher price, then go with it and end the discussion, unless you are not all that concerned about seeing her again, or any effects it might have on your time together. Regarding using humor to broach to subject, if you have a good track record in doing so, give it a try, but humor is a matter of timing and interpretation; both of which can go very wrong very quickly, and when it does it's very difficult to recover from. People seldom get defensive if the other person is "confused" about a matter.
I hope to hear how it turns out.
Nor are there any contracts. The best thing for you to do, if you are that concerned, is to ask her. In an email BEFORE you meet. Don't bring it up in a session. That's just rude and will lead you both to feel uncomfortable. Ask her first, then you will know so you can decide beforehand to either pay whatever rate or find someone else.
You are probably correct. She most likely expects her rate at time of booking.
I recently made a small increase. I was surprised that many assumed they were grandfathered in. Some had attempted to meet me before (no set dates) and just assumed since we had chatted before my old rate applied. A couple just gave me my old rate, and a couple put in the akward position of asking in person. Edited: if you don't feel comfortable confirming what you suspect, I would pay her new rate. She might expect her new rate regardless of when you booked (your still a new client). She's really the only one who knows what she expects.
*I know the provider your speaking of from your wording.
-- Modified on 2/10/2008 10:21:28 PM
DAMN, there goes my alias and everything, LOL.
I hope you are wrong.
My Plan A all along is to include the "extra" in the envelope and then jokingly tell her it was a tip "up front" and that I therefore was sure that I'd have her undevoted attention 
It's not you is it? LOL!! How embarassing would THAT be?
No, I'm right. I know who it is. I'm not going to tell you that.
I've had this happen before. Let's just say be prepared to pay the higher rate. But if SHE had to cancel last time, you may have a leg to stand on. Just ask her.
CIM, I understand your position about the original booking that she had to cancel, the subsequent rebooking by you for an advanced date, and her increasing her prices after you booked the second date but before you saw her.
In my opinion, this is one you can win the battle and lose the war. Obviously, the new price bothers you and if you "negotiate" the old price with her, that will bother her (either consciously or subconsciously). I don't see any way you can go through with the meeting and have the kind of experience you are hoping to have as long as you feel that way.
I feel you either have to totally forget the old rate and go forward excited about the opportunity to see an obviously very good provider at her current rate or you need to book a different lady. As it is now, each of you will be uncomfortable with the situation which will overshadow the experience.
If it were me, I would not be offended if you inquired about the rate change, and particularly given that the cancellation from a few months ago was on the part of the provider, I would not have any problem seeing you at the old rate. Again - if it were me. Every lady is different.
do it and get it settled before the meeting. There is not harm in sending an email right now and stating your confusion.
Bringing it up during the session, even in a cute.. I put an extra tip in right at the beginning.... type of way would be very uncomfortable.
just pay the new rate and get on with it.
all this mental calculations to save a hundred bucks is a waste of your mental energy.
Even if you do ask, and she agrees to the old rate, either pay the new rate anyway, or include a tip to bring it to the new rate. I think you'll find that you'll enjoy yourself a lot more. You really don't want your first encounter to have any negative undertones because of money.
For goodness sake, call her or email her and in a light-hearted way, point out that you had made an appointment at the lower rate and, since she cancelled, shouldn't she charge the lower rate? If she says no, sorry, then forget about it. Laugh it off. Think nothing ill about her or you. I can't imagine how anyone could be obsessing over this. I've had providers tell me--at the session--that the agency had raised their rates and that they were effective immediately. I had planned a session with Elizabeth of Available Pink in NY for one hour at $200/hr and when I showed up, I was informed that her rate was $280 an hour, effective that day. This is a big problem with Available Pink here in NY. I've had a very well reviewed provider raise her rates without changing the posted rate on her website, and do this over two months--going from $200 an hour to $400 an hour. I recommended her to another hobbyist, although I believe I had posted and certainly told the other hobbyist that I was a little miffed that she had gone from $200/hour to $250/hour without actually changing her posted rate. My friend saw her and was barely able to scrape together the $350/hour she was charging him, taking only enough for the session and a healthy tip, based on my posted $250/hour review. This was the very nice--but not worth $400/hour--Carissa.
And boy--did I let the provider, the agency and these boards know about raising prices without posting on their websites. There is NO excuse for raising prices and not posting on the website.
As to grandfathering--I assume that if I actually have seen a provider before, that I will be grandfathered in some way. If not in a lower rate, at least in a longer time. And the quid pro quo--I see her fairly frequently, not once every two years, but once every two months or sooner.
Call the lady. Be light hearted about it. If you are too terrified to talk to her, how the heck are you going to tell her to take your cock in her mouth?
I sometimes extend a special if someone inqured and tried to see me but they got detained, or EVEN MORE SO if I was unable to see THEM at the time. I also do not get offended if one might ask as long as there are extenuating circumstances. I would simply ask in a tactful way if it were me... I see no harm in that.
Best,
C
2+ years ago, I had my first meeting with a gal who is one of my ATF's!!! This visit occurred after several failed attempts, our schedules never synched), I had met her at the door when I met one of her friends when she once ran an agency. When we finally met, it was within a week of her upping her rate. I jokingly mentioned how I wished I had arranged this meeting earlier, like before the rate hike. We both laughed!
A few weeks later, I saw her again a few days before I moved out of the country. I was paying by CC, I know not always the smartest option, but this gal is definitely trustworthy. The amount she asked me to approve was her old rate, for which I expressed my gratitude. To date, she has charged me that rate every time I've seen her since, even though it it is once a year, a most.
However, I always ask, just to be sure that neither if us is embarrassed, how much needs to be in the envelope.
My how interesting this turned out. Many thanks to everyone who shared their thoughts Look at all the variety of responses and ideas. Simply by virtue of the huge variety, I can see that this comes up more than I thought.
Notice how all providers suggested that it be addressed in a very open fashion, while the guys were kind of in a 3 way split between suggesting 1) address it openly, 2) maybe address it and 3) just shut up and pay the money. When providers address rate increases I can see how it can cause stress for most on both sides, especially for existing customers. I can see why many providers use “grandfathering”, maybe as an excuse to not bring it up with existing customers or equally likely, an effort to keep good, repeating customers from leaving. I wonder, what’s the longest standing grandfather clause that’s ever been or is still in effect? And I marvel at the few who respond to posts without fully reading the original post or premise, LOL, but I thank you guys as well (they sparked some of the better ideas actually).
As I stated earlier, I always intended to pay the increase, but I find it interesting to try to find ways to bring up potentially difficult issues in non-threatening, non-combative and unique ways.
I still didn’t get a good response from the “shut up and pay it” crowd, if they would feel that same way if the rate increase happened “overnight” so to speak.
You're going to resent having to pay the higher rate, I can see. If you ask her to honor the previous rate, she'll resent you for asking. On the other hand "agirl" will have outed you and the provider may be getting a big chuckle out of your dilemma and the resultant discussion on ter. Good luck with your session.
-- Modified on 2/12/2008 6:46:49 AM
One that will probably be worth even MORE than the extra price that I have already said here that that I was going to pay.
This was never about trying to get out of paying the extra. It was about having fun with the situation.
My estimate is that I'd be willing to pay the extra PLUS another $.
happened to me- price went up 100, I first e-mailed the provider about 1 month prior- didn't see her b/c scheduling problem or something- next time she visited, price was 100 higher- I e-mailed her that she had just quoted me a lower price- she said the hotels went up or something and wouldn't change- so I passed- Now if its a year or 2 later then maybe you can't complain