Alright, I have decided to step into some shit here because it is not fun to watch this. Rod, you seem like a nice guy with good intentions and it is tough to watch you hitting your head against the wall day after day.
The single most important thing I would say to you is this: although there may be sex workers out there who do this from what I would call a position of weakness, the ladies who are here on this board participating day in and day out strike me as women who have their shit together. More importantly, they are smart and on most occasions they are able to articulate their thoughts better than the guys. My point is simple: they do not need to be saved, they do not need to be defended, they can acquit themselves quite well on their own.
When I first came onto the board, I too was turned off by the guys you call the Board Boys. It took me a couple of weeks to realize that they are most likely not assholes in real life and that although they may use language I would not necessarily use, a lot of what they say is true. I do disagree with them on many things, but that is fine, not everybody has to think like I do. I do not believe that are misogynistic pigs and they certainly don't want to see women hurt. They see a post that they think is BS and they will call the poster on it, whether it be a man or a woman, plain and simple. Again, do I like the language used all the time? No, not all the time, but sometimes it is done with tongue in cheek and it is funny. Even if it is not tongue in cheek, I would like to come to a place that is not PC, I hate that shit, it is killing this country.
I don't know how this all started, and frankly, I am not interested, but it takes two sides to tango. Yes, I guess they have ganged up on you, but you keep doing the same things and you keep encouraging it. As a person with no interest, someone simply watching from the bleachers, you cannot claim to have clean hands. Shit, one of the first posts that I remember from you was one in which you essentially implied that all of us are losers, you are simply a young buck sampling the ladies, passing through, while you find your beloved while the rest of us fucktards are stuck here.
You know what prompted me to write this diatribe? The comments about feminism and Tobi. Dude, that a person is a feminist does not necessarily mean that she must like all women singers, doctors, philosophers, lawyers, whatever. It is possible to have respect for what Katy has accomplished as a woman without having to like her or her music, it really is pretty simple. It is a perfect example of unnecessary trouble that could have been avoided if you simply thought it through before you posted.
To sum it up, don't defend ladies that do not need to be defended, don't police other's use of language, don't police other's thoughts (yeah, there are exceptions such as Andrewww), think before you hit the post button, have fun, live and let live. Take it for what it is worth as lame as it may be and know that I am not doing posting to be mean or poke fun, I simply wanted to give you a perspective from someone without a dog in this fight.
As for the subject title, my point is that we, Johns, are all in the same boat, specially those of us here, we probably have a lot of traits in commone. Crap, if one thinks that using slut, hooker or whore is what defines us as being woman-hating pigs, I have some news: a large percentage of the population believes that a guy who pays a woman for sex is a pig who is taking advantage of women. We know that is not true, but that the world "out there," surely professes to believe that about us.
-- Modified on 2/3/2015 11:44:42 AM
On this board and other boards is simply people disagree and just cant say so. It usually pans out that there are two groups and they have strong opinions about a subject. Instead of just saying 'agree to disagree' they flame each other, the names come out the clever jabs and contests of wit begin. Others choose their respective side and it just hits the fan. Ive been on the receiving end of several 'board boys' Doesnt bother me. I am who I am and my opinion doesnt match yours, period. The only thing that baffles me is someone says something personal then others say something like "wow you're getting defensive" hahaha well yea that was a personal jab, its intent was to be personal. My advice say what you have to say and be done. If you disagree, just say "I disagree" and move on. Dont respond to the "you're an idiot, moron' etc because theres nothing more to say. You're not budging and the other poster is not budging. Done.
I think the hard line that should never be crossed is attempting to fuck with someone's real life. It's all fun and games out here, and while the games may get rough it's all meaningless and anonymous and should be taken with huge grains of salt. But attempting to damage someone outside this virtual world? In my opinion it would not be unjust to make that a "banned for life" level offense.
Have to agree on that point. I personally have not been attacked in that way nor have I done so to someone else. You'd have to be exceptionally pissed off to try and go after someone for a board post.
As for being fun and games, yes and no. We all have a board persona but what I suspect is that some truly do have a persona that varies quite a bit from their real life persona while some others have a persona that reflects exactly who they are and how they would behave one on one. If you have somebody around who is letting it all hang out, so to speak, and who is being very true as to who they are, a personal comment is going to sting a lot more than for somebody who is simply having fun and stirring shit up.
It is also not totally anonymous, certainly not for the ladies, sure, we may not know their real names, but when so and so says something, you know who she is, you know how to find her, you can set a date with her, etc., it is not truly anonymous As is the case with the guys, the ladies also have professional personas that may or may not be close to who they really are when they are not working. .
There is also the obvious that some of the discussions that we have are not simply about fun subjects. So, no, it is not all fun and games and I do not subscribe with the idea that I can call someone a worthless asshole and that is OK to do so because this is just an anonymous fuck-board - well, unless I really mean it 
Vitriol for vitriol's sake is a bummer. I don't have a board persona, I don't think, what you see here is what you'd get if you knew me IRL. I'm also reasonably sure that while I am not above posting after a few glasses of wine I've never posted anything negative that wasn't precipitated by something offensive. In other words, I've never logged on with the mindset "I think I'll throw a rock in the pond and see how big the waves will get."
Posted By: Pangloss
As for being fun and games, yes and no. We all have a board persona but what I suspect is that some truly do have a persona that varies quite a bit from their real life persona while some others have a persona that reflects exactly who they are and how they would behave one on one. If you have somebody around who is letting it all hang out, so to speak, and who is being very true as to who they are, a personal comment is going to sting a lot more than for somebody who is simply having fun and stirring shit up.
It is also not totally anonymous, certainly not for the ladies, sure, we may not know their real names, but when so and so says something, you know who she is, you know how to find her, you can set a date with her, etc., it is not truly anonymous As is the case with the guys, the ladies also have professional personas that may or may not be close to who they really are when they are not working. .
There is also the obvious that some of the discussions that we have are not simply about fun subjects. So, no, it is not all fun and games and I do not subscribe with the idea that I can call someone a worthless asshole and that is OK to do so because this is just an anonymous fuck-board - well, unless I really mean it
That being said, I do like to read/listen to conflicting opinions. It can be done in a civilized way without it devolving into ad hominem attacks. I like to understand why people have different opinions, it has helped me grow/. God knows that up until my 20's, I was an arrogant prick who knew it all and judged everybody from my high horse. Then a bit of maturity and perspective kicked in and it has made life a lot more enjoyable, specially since I realized that the main reason I used to judge others so harshly was precisely because I was brutal with myself, always expecting some illusory version of "perfection."
Well, I see that I have finished blowing up my inbox, if I don't reply it is because I don't have VIP. Not so much a cheap bastard, more of a lazy bastard. Now I really have to go and send the Money Order to see what kinds of goodies I have in there.
Im the same way. We can have conflicting views and still be civil, but that does not happen here. The "moronic, idiot" etc comments come out early on because disagrees and has such a narrow view of things that they're totally closed to anyone else's view. Its actually kinda sad, because you never grow that way. You just remain in the dark, and bitter. Not I, I refuse to be un-educated and oblivious to things going on around me. Too much to miss with a closed view.
This is just another board with various posters supposedly having fun
I have to agree with Arovet that the board banter is one thing and meddling in people's lives off the board, or in "In real life" as it's called (how exactly my drinking beer at the neighbor saloon is more real than my whoring around is still a bit of a mystery to me, but I'm sure in time someone will explain that to my edification).
Discussion can be as argumentative as hell and doesn't need to be an attempt to belittle or mock one's opponents. When a poster mocks another's position on any issue, though, the tone can easily skid over the line to mocking the poster. Calling the offender on him usually makes him defensive, and the response ends up being something like, "Who says I can't say whatever I want?" Then we're back into a branch leading to a train wreck.
Argument seldom resolves anything. It just makes people dig in their heels on what they think is right. Ask yourself when you last changed your mind about anything because somebody argued a sounder way of looking at an issue. Everyone is a stubborn as you and I are, more or less, and that's just part of human frailty.
As far as defending someone else on the board (whether they "need" my defense or not), I reserve the right to defend whoever I want or take whatever side of an issue I please to. If the person I voice agreement with results in catcalls and being a labeled a White Knight, c'est le fuk vie, and if the person I agree with is male, probably his opponents will sneer at me for sucking up to a loser.
But if my approval of someone's flawed perspective encourages his/her grip on the notion, so do all the arguments against them. People's way of thinking changes very, very slowly if at all. There are few dramatic moments ripe with life-altering insights. Soooooo..... Probably things will remain pretty much as they are despite our hopes for improvement.
I get what you are saying. BTW, I did not mean to say that people could not come on the boards and defend others. I am a proponent of people speaking their mind whenever and however they want to do it. Making it a mission to speak on behalf of the poor helpless ladies? Not so much, most of them could run circles around us.
...disgusted by what they're seeing and reading on *some* of the boards by *some* of the male posters. In general I don't get many PM's from providers and in my opinion most of us are focused on the big picture so aren't often checking out other women nor are we initiating conversations with one another out of the blue. After participating in a few threads recently (and of course getting flamed just because someone can, because someone's having a bad day, because someone is in need of a truly healthy outlet or because someone needs some serious counseling) I decided to step back and to not subject myself to the negative splaying of character that seems to occur repeatedly on the GD board. After doing so I was contacted by another lady that said she and a handful of others were also stepping back --- essentially leaving the GD discussion board to "the boys". I think the gesture and the idea behind the gesture speaks volumes about where TER is and where it's going.
I'm sure that someone will take a cheap shot at me today --- just because they can etc., etc. but thought it was more than noteworthy to mention that even we girls -- who are usually stereotyped at "catty bitches" no matter who we are -- are so put off by the GD board that we're actually coming together to make a statement against the "man klan" (rough description but some around here wear it well!).
Say what you will "bad boys" (whether you love us or hate us) - but constantly monopolizing the boards with hate is ultimately detrimental to the whole community. Why?? Because if we ladies stop participating on TER it will start to become a very lonely place. Providers have already been quieted by separating our ads from the "discussion" (I mean ISO) boards. Keep it up and we'll willingly leave the GD board too. Just one gal's 2 cents.
xo Lane
She had it moderated by Dr Phil who made sure that everyone was nice to everybody.
The topics were also mundane after about a day or two.
I switched to the Maury board, but that was too redundant. And it was obvious who the daddy was.
It sure seems that a board like this can be divided into areas of interest. Don't you ladies have a board that you can post on without men?
I also note that there is an ignore button. Why not use that if you don't like what a poster has to say?
....I guess you aren't allowed on it because you don't have reviews?
In any case, I don't use the ladies only board.
..... hmmmm... interesting.
I did encourage you and any others who have an issue with a poster to use the ignore button. I'm pretty sure that is why it is there.
I also note that women have been on this board since it's inception. At no time was there ever a "man only" board for general discussion boards. I think you can look back as well and verify this.
I guess you and a few of your friends are unhappy with how some posters post. I'm sorry.
I guess you choose not to go there, that is fine.
Perhaps you'd be kind enough to explain your comment in it's entirety.
Weren't you on a boycott? If this is your idea of a boycott, I suggest you google it's meaning.
Then why the hell am I here??? I don't do drama, which is why I hobby, so I can provide to whomever wants me and get some good cash and move the hell on... I've always liked playing with guys over girls, but I pass on the recent and past BS, and it lets me know maybe more guys here aren't really here to P4P, they'd rather play with each other... Proceed as you must...
No more than a couple of weeks ago, one of the ladies stated that perhaps the boys would like to play with each other and I had a feeling that something along these lines was going to happen. Since I already decided to step into the shit today, I might as well continue.
Some may say, fine, the purpose of TER was for guys to exchange information, not necessarily as a platform for the ladies to advertise. That being said, count me in as one of the guys who would dearly miss the input from the ladies. As a matter of fact, it is precisely because of the discussion boards that I know exactly who it is that I may want to see depending on which city I visit on business in the future. While the photos, personal statements and reviews are useful, the boards give me a glimpse as to who the lady may be and how she thinks.
While I don't particularly like the tenor of the conversations and I would really miss the ladies, I am really not an advocate of curtailing free speech. I don't mean in the legal sense, obviously this is a private board and we are all just guests, but I really hate the idea of imposing an ideal as to what is and is not appropriate to say and how to express it, I am willing to take the good and the bad. As the astronaut legislator above stated, don't forget that there is an ignore button.
...and since the inception of the site. Sorry if you guys don't like seeing our ads either. Maybe TER should eliminate the provider ad boards, lock us alone with ourselves on the provider only board and leave the regional boards to what seems to now be ISO boards. Bam!!! And the ladies are gone just like that. Invisible, objectified and without a voice like some of you tend to like us.
I know you're trying to be supportive and understanding but you kind of stated that you don't want to hear from us either when you said you have a problem with provider ads. I feel a need to be very specific on this topic.
Why?
There are many malls out there to run your ads on, so if this site segregated the ads from the rest of the site so what. I am sure that the men know how to find the women they want to see.
I also see many women posting on the boards. I don't know what your issue with TER is, but maybe you should get over it.
Hot ones, smart ones, not so many BSC ones anymore, well you kinda mess that up today!
Your rants on the boards are legendary. By the way, weren't you moving from Florida and made a big deal about it on the Florida Board? Hmmm something must have gone wrong with that. You talking about drama is down right funny. Look in the mirror you are a drama queen.
And as far as ladies making note of certain board members, well news flash, plenty of the dudes here make notes as well about who not to see. I'm sure you've been crossed off of several. And your rant here today certainly didn't help your case.
Something to think about! Hey, I think Tiddles digs red heads you two were made for each other.
Not sure what you mean about rant? A reasonable comment on a discussion board is hardly a rant. And - weren't we all just commenting how someone who splays another person's personal details worthy of a lifetime ban???
I'm 99.9% sure you aren't even a man -- just a jealous provider stuck in a mountain of snow who can't keep herself from going for the juggler every opportunity she gets (does it ever get old??). I rarely use this word but I truly think you and your reply is stupid. So stupid that you and your ridiculous (incorrect) dig isn't worth another word or second of my time.
For every gentleman who crosses me off his list there's another who's adding me to another. Know that. : )
Very, VERY well said. It's not worth the hassle, cheap shots and negativity. Why I tend to stay off - and I'm not on the ladies board because of it (per the powers that be)
I have noticed the absence of the ladies as well. You are right, if the ladies leave, the board dies...well maybe it doesn't die for all the sausagefest lovers and egomongers. I am neither, by the way. (Mr. Fisher, this is an easy one) Hopefully your post is a wakeup call. Thanks!
the experience would be better for all of us. There is a right time and a wrong time to flame a poster.
it's nice to see my coined phrase 'The Board Boys' is still being used LOL.
Use it well, I won't charge you for it. Promise 
xx kisses
I mean my posts, nature did not bless me with much in the other department Funny you should reply, I went looking for your non-existent website last night.
I have been watching you Pangloss lol. I have news for you, 'longer does not mean better' so you are good to go lol. Who started that crap anyway. It's all about the "curve" and the "girth" boys lol not the length. Length HURTS lol. Not necessary to feel it coming out of my throat thank you very much lol.
But you are correct, I made the executive decision that the website is no more this past weekend lol. Sorry boys. I'm strictly a p411 girl now for my own reasons
You went looking for it huh...hmmmm, I'll ponder that one a lil bit
xx kisses
You have been posting and as I said in an earlier post, one that you also probably did not read, I like the boards because I like to get a feel for who the ladies are. All things being equal, if I am choosing between a lady I am physically attracted to and one who I am also physically attracted to but who also happens to show a bit of her personality by posting, I will choose the second one hands down. Second, that photo of you in the white blouse is very nice. Love photos like that, a lady does not have to reveal everything, it makes it very enticing.
BTW, nature also shorted me (pun intended) on girth and curvature. Darn it! He, he, it is all good as long as I am still alive and get to play.
And yes, I'm known as a 'scanner' of posts. I know, my downfall. Oh well, a woman can't do everything here...Geezk!
And thank you for the compliments. I do have fun with my photoshoots when I have the time these days.
Enjoy the world as much as you can and yes, be happy to have the breath in your lungs. That's all any of us really need when it boils down to it. Been a pleasure, always
xx kisses
That pretty much let's me know you get it here. Nice post.
clients and we have PTs. (Professional Tricks), the bad apples.
Same thing - different semantics
nicer, friendlier board called "Civilized Intercourse". It got a lot of support on the thread, but alas, no takers among the admin. 
I still wish it could happen. Some of the posters here truly love it to be all about themselves. They also tend to be the ones merely looking for a "hole to plug" as SS so eloquently put it above. And it gets really boring
Same reason that news broadcasts on television have mostly bad news to report. Strife draws a crowd.
Too much peace equates to boredom for most people.
Just my observation.
for a fact that a well-moderated forum in the hobby can be the most popular one on a board. I've seen it before. The board in general has to have a lot of traffic, but such a board (the one I know for a fact) can have double- even triple- the next highest forum's posts and views.
-- Modified on 2/6/2015 1:40:37 AM
