I'm not much of a dirty-talker but can sometimes get into it when my partner is a skilled and cunning linguist.

However, I have to wonder where the common boundaries are..... that is to say, what do most people feel is going too far?

Personally, there seems to be a difference between these two statements: "suck that cock real good"   and "you're a real cocksucker"..... although I don't object to either, I prefer the former.  

And likewise: "suck that cock, you dirty slut" vs  "suck that cock like the whore you are".  (The latter made me burst out laughing; I don't why, I just did lol!)

 
Other phrases that seem to have a different tone to them, "I'm going to fuck your pussy so hard" and  "your cunt needs this hard cock"  OR  "you want this cum, don't you?"  vs  "you want this cum, don't you, you dirty bitch?"

 
To me, this is all fantasy, and although I prefer to be forewarned that someone really gets into dirty talk (so I don't burst out laughing, thus breaking the mood) they're really all just words which have only the power the listener gives them.  

Sticks and stones and all that....

 
But what do YOU feel would be crossing the line?  

-- Modified on 4/4/2017 9:56:53 AM

Some dirty talk like "next time I want you to fuck me and my sister" is really hot, but certain phrases like "I want to marry you" or "I want to have your baby" are real boner-killers.

Bitch, for example, is highly objectionable to some women.  

I won't touch the "N" word (or any other racial slur) with a ten foot pole - which is my only language limit.  It doesn't turn me on and it really offends.  

 Cunt can also be objectionable - much more so as a name than as a body part. Verbs seem to be much less objectionable.

I have a very open boundaries discussion before we get started and language is part of it.  If we are doing PSE or DS the language gets very rough.  If GFE - not at all.

While I agree that sometimes words only have power because we give provide that power, I think it also depends on the person and that relationship we have with them. A client I've been seeing for six months is going to have a better idea of what is ok and what isn't versus a new client because we've built that rapport & we've had those conversations.  

I will say that as a woman of color, I draw the line at anything derogatory towards my Native American, Black, or Persian ancestry. Race play, like other BDSM activities I partake in, is a thing but only for the most trusted and those that understand boundaries and proper aftercare.

I am sorry, it's just not something I can ever see me doing convincingly. I think I would burst out in laughter if I ever tried saying any of those things while having sex.

I know it turns other people on, so I am not criticizing it, it's just like you, I think I would burst into uncontrollable laughter which I agree would completely break the mood you little slut. lol

I'm fine with dirty talk, but if it's going to veer into the verbally sadistic I just need some warning.  It goes along with my whole philosophy of communication.

...that you would written the words "cocksucker"..."whore"...."bitch"..."pussy"...and "cunt" in the SAME OP, I would have bet that GaG had hacked your TER account. lol

So to answer your question, you have crossed the line with ME. And you need to be punished.

Something tells me you wont burst out laughing while I am disciplining you. They never do.

You dirty whore, you.

Actually I would prefer if my clients felt comfortable enough to dirty talk. As of late it seems a lot of guys just don't make a word or sound and it's way more awkward than if he called me a filthy cock sucker lol I wish more people were into it. Just laying there not making a sound isn't all that fun lol. Using your words,communication and positive affirmation is all something I really dig when physically with someone.

any racial talk is a no-no.Years ago I had a guy say a racial remark to me during an appt I guess it was his form of dirty talk.
Well...lets just say that did not go over too well.

That's a bright red line, the third rail of dirty talk, if you will.

Here's Jerry explaining it to George:

I enjoy the dirty talk inthe heat of the moment or as encouragement .
To me it can be a turn off when it is over the top along with an obviously fake orgasm.
To me with crossing the line is like  telling jokes -- they can both break a mood immediately.

I personally like a little dirty, nasty talk if we are really into what we are doing at the moment but degrading my lover verbally is NOT a turn-on at all.

Which is racial slurs - the n word. Also, randomly a client used the word maju/majoo jokingly in conversation with me,  which is an insult to Iranians. I did not take it very well and would not welcome it, as many people used nastily towards my mom when she move to the US.  

Otherwise I'm okay, even with the b word, in the context of playtime... but outside of that setting I would be highly offended.

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Just look at this very board for example, I routinely use the words hooker, whore, slut, even cunt and virtually everyone who has been here for any length of time knows when I use the words it's usually a "term of endearment"  

Now when others use the very same words, they drip with animus and loathing and are quite obviously used with the intention to degrade.

I am sure the very same thing holds true with "dirty talk"

not that I can't be vocal, but smut talk just doesn't flow easily for me. There have been times when I was drawn into it, and enjoyed it as it happened in the moment.  

I draw my line at anything I feel is demeaning, degrading or disrespectful - to either of us.

The word is a derogatory term for a male black, male being the key word.

a girl says something like.. does that feel good baby.. you want me so bad baby.. sort of cliché.. and wrecks the moment..

without having her on all fours saying, "spank me, I've been a naughty girl?"  You don't do that with a real life girlfriend?  

you dumb-down the board a little more.  You should go to school, get an education, then get some life experience, then fuck a few girls (or boys, not sure how you roll yet), so you're not a virgin, and then come back here and be a contributing member that doesn't sound clueless.  

So she should be a body language expert???? No talking at all??

"Fuck me, Daddy,"  she's not necessarily calling you an incestuous pedophile.  Usage is the key.  

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When FatVern left and Euro showed up, Euro was stupid, but not quite as stupid as FatVern, Pimpathy, JohnnyComeAlready or any of his other SPOTY worthy handles, I think he thought that while he was flying under the radar no one would figure who he was/is. Now that the façade is gone, he can go back to being every bit as clueless as he was under every other handle he has had.

His biggest problem is that with him it's not an act like it is with some posters. It's one thing for a smart person to pretend they are stupid, it's quite another for a stupid person to pretend they are smart. It just really can't be done, at least not if the stupid person keeps running their mouth until they have removed all doubt.

Of course I much prefer "Papi" to "Daddy"  

There is nothing sexier than a hot chica murmuring "oh Papi,oh Papi, you fuck me so good" into your ear during sex.

I always ask a lady the first few times that I see her, if she's ok with it, if she even hesitates, I don't partake.

Our world is a fantasy, and therefore when engaged in action I like to talk and be talked to, differently than I would in normal life. However, being that this life is my new normal my tastes in this regard are changing.  

But yeah, if she is really good at dirty talking, she becomes a favorite quickly. Likewise if she does a really good job faking an O. Would I like her to O for real? Of course, but it's not realistic of me to think that will happen.

I've often said, the very best of Providers are those ladies who can just be themselves, hang out, enjoy our company, and then when they know the time is right, flip a switch and turn into "super slut" and then back when the action is done. A great Provider, is a great Actress.

A boundary for me though would be her calling me Daddy, this trend lately in Porn is distracting. I have come to understand that the Daddy is pertaining to Sugar Daddy, but it's still distracting for me. Imagine my horror when they first started this trend and I thought they were insinuating incest relationships. Then again, this is fantasy, so if that's someone's thing, who the hell am I to judge as long as they aren't doing it for real.

I've found that some providers are much better at it than others.  There are a few that I have been with where dirty talk really seems to come naturally which is a definite turn on.  When it seems forced or awkward for them it kind of feels awkward to me.  I agree with one of the posts above that verbs go longer towards dirty talking than nouns.  For me some good dirty talk goes a long way towards a great session and kind of wish it were on the checklist for reviews, like the massage quality category where it could be rated.  Just my opinion.  

-- Modified on 4/4/2017 2:04:27 PM

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I luv dirty talk./.and yes between BOTH parties involved...lets get raunchy!!

...amongst other things is not a particularly rare request (no thanks).  
I've seen more than a few white pros say they've had at least one black client request she call them that too.  

"You want this white dick you dirty black whore" is hot but dirty n***er whore not so much. We all have our things.

pretending they're stupid.  I don't know anyone like THAT!!!  Lol  

But unfortunately, there are far too many obvious choices going the other way.  

"little."  "You want this little white dick . . . . ."

... face glazing (cof), smacking a dick in a chick's face, spitting in her mouth, face fucking, teabagging etc.*

 
*alright with me (but the next chick might be like fuck that)

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The best deliveries are the ones that happen without warning. Some of the comments I've gotten have always left me with a grin. Sometimes it's not even the words, it's their physical reaction.

Not expected. I've lost it when I've been told to cum in her mouth or call her a "slut!", but call me a "dirty boy" and I'll bust out laughing. I know some people are really into dirty talk and I'll do it, in fact I'll say just about anything, but I may laugh too.

Both in real life and with clients...it comes naturally for me and ads to the experience. That being said...I never make derogatory remarks (unless it is requested)...

I also pay attention to signs from my partner (verbal and physical), that will either encourage me to continue, or to stop.  

And PS: you can call me any name in the book but please don't ever call me a bitch in dirty talk...that's crossing the line for me! Cunt is just fine...but bitch....nooooooo....go figure!

...but that's just me. Luckily I have very rarely come across it. The problem is how do you tell the person to stfu without killing the entire session. Which was already compromised.  

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If you look up the word that is the definition.  

I was pointing out that not only is it highly inappropriate to call a woman that word, it would also be wrong factually, it just wouldn't work.

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I am fairly introverted and would like to do more of this (dirty talk).  I just find it hard to initiate until you feel very comfortable with the other person.  That said, I would never want a female to feel uncomfortable in the slightest -- so if I got any sort of indication whatsoever that she might not like it, then I wouldn't do it.  I do, however, tend to like it when the female says it as long as it is not done in a creepy or freaky way.  Dirty talk that comes across as genuine and passionate is very sexy.  I think that what "crosses the line" is all relative.  Every situation is different.  If something makes her feel uncomfortable, regardless of how innocuous you thought that it was, then it crosses the line.    

It's a derogatory term but for men, like if someone calls a man a bitch, for that to really be a factual statement he would really need to be a female.

I see, it hear the N word used frequently for both men and women. I've also had black people call me the N word. I'm like I couldn't be any whiter if I tried.

Bigvern (probably his original handle. It even had reviews) and one of the dumbest ever, "no email." 😂

Actually, you covered those bases by saying, "any of his other SPOTY worthy handles," but I still had to throw that out there.

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Race play, had a guy recently tell me he loved me several times during the appointment (first time client), there's a difference between something like "dirty whore" and "stupid whore" obviously. It's a ymmv in my book. What works with one person may be incredibly awkward with the next. Any type of kinky thing is typically going to be more enjoyable with someone trustworthy too.

... let me tell you that the mere thought of being called the N word makes my skin hot as fuck and I don't mean that in a sexy way. The N word is historically a racial/derogatory term for people of black African descent ... it doesn't have less of an impact because of my vagina. I'm still Black.
I'd say the visceral reaction both emotional and physical (just caught myself clenching a fist) is pretty equal.  
You should probably take the other black/mixed black girl's word for it too.

-- Modified on 4/4/2017 10:10:33 PM

... so I let my lips, fingers etc do the talking. It seems to work ok.  

He's been around for years and this is his latest iteration.  Don't let it bother you.  He's TSTTT.

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I was pointing out that most people throw the word around with out knowing the definition. Along with the word being so common that I've been called the word myself by black people and I'm white. It makes no sense.

I had to re-read to OP because of some of the replies.
There's a big difference between sex/dirty talk and being derogatory. I draw the line there as do most of us, same as in IRL.  

Talking sex is as appropriate when fucking as is talking teams when talking sports. I love being verbally engaged with a woman. It's ok to let her know that she can "keep sucking my cock just like that babe" or her saying "my pussy's so wet and tight for you baby".
 
I don't want vanilla talk in bed. DIRTY is good. I've yet to laugh at what she says or have her laugh at what I say unless it's intended. That's "not" a boner killer but rather a pause in the action, like changing rhythm or positions to prolong ecstasy. I like ecstasy too. A lot.  

Haven't met anyone who made me laugh unintentionally. It doesn't mean I haven't been I with a gal who didn't have a good talk game and talked dirty anyway.

I abhor disrespectful talk in general. At all times.  

I had a friend who shared some pearls of wisdo when we were in college. He'd been in Viet Nam and his words stick with me to this day  ... "you can call me nigger and I'll hug you, but call me James the wrong way and I'll cut your throat"  

Intent more than content. Respect more than expect.

-- Modified on 4/5/2017 8:38:43 AM

It was really hard at first because I cringe saying that word.  He just started asking me to repeat what he said so I feel more comfortable with it.  I don't get it but hey, it gets him off I guess.

I definitely wouldn't be comfortable being a black woman and experiencing it the other way around though.

cant help but it reminds me of the 40 yr old  Chevy Chase Eddie Murphy job interview when Eddie responds to Chase's word association for   "N*gger"   with "dead honkey"

forgot the link    .....

Or Slingblade?  And you don't even know why what you said is so colossally stupid, do you?

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...yeah like I said everyone has a thing that is just a giant NO for them and for the next it's a total turn on.
There's ton of porn with the black male wanting to be called the N word.  Haven't seen anything similar with a black female but I'm sure it's out there.

Thank you Randy Moss. lol

He wants to call me his "dirty white slut" and likes to be dominant yet I'm his "goddess".  That one really has me scratching my head sometimes but he's nice and generous otherwise.

I personally hate to be called a "worthless" anything...Don't mind dirty slit, whore, cunt whatever but some guy was dirty talking and once called me a worthless whore and I almost smacked the shit out of him.

I had a black girlfriend several years back who would call me "little dicked Cambodian"  and I would call her a "negress" when we would be joking back and forth. We would sometimes talk this way in public and it would turn a lot of heads who wouldn't know what to make of us.

and yes, we both used the word nigger on a pretty regular basis. I am sorry, but having grown up with a LOT of black people, the word just really doesn't have any power over me. It's just a word. I have no problems using it around my black friends, now casual acquaintances are a different matter of course, and I don't use the word on the boards when joking like I do chink, gook, heeb or all the other racial slurs I use on a regular basis here when joking with friends, mainly because I don't want to be constantly dealing with the shit storm that usually comes with the casual use of the word here.

Back to the subject at hand, although that GF and I spoke that way all the time, both in public and private, I can't remember that kind of talk ever extending to the bedroom.

Words are just words for the most part.  They don't mean anything unless someone uses them in a hateful derogatory way.  I'm no stranger to "offensive" humor so it takes very little to offend me unless I'm being insulted on purpose.  However these days it's like walking in a mine field when watching what you say.

You can't please the PC police, so why even bother trying?  

We all know the "N" word, but it wasn't until a few years ago, right here on this very board that I discovered there is also an "R" word, "Retard" is another word that the PC police is so offensive you can't even say the word out loud, isn't that retarded. lol

and are you really a racist if you use racial slurs "equally" amongst people of ALL races, cultures and creeds? lol

I wouldn't say anything racial, period. Not only is it degrading, etc..., seems damm cheesy anyway.

I don't get into the Cunt, Bitch, Dirty Whore things either. I think sometimes people want a fantasy where Highly explicit language is used with a provider, Because she is a Provider. Without prior consent to a session from Her regarding her boundaries, I think in general it's disrespectful to haul off using words and phrases exampled by the OP post just because some may think lower of a SW. That scenario stinks to me. (And I know all people aren't like that, but some are out there. (Really out there!)

As to what is exactly appropriate, I guess can vary from person to person. Some Ladies don't mind and want to hear it, vice versa.  

I don't mind it, yet don't go in with any set expectations. Vanilla is bland, but so are Obvious fake lines, scripted to a degree. Rather than faking an "O", I would rather be told how to make the Real one happen if possible.  

I guess I'm more of a "Into the Moment" type. I give feed back and hear it as well. I just don't go into a session with a few of the phrases the OP listed, I would likely die laughing at myself. Words "Cunt, "Whore", unless she Obsoletely Wants to hear it, are not going to be used by me. I can think of better ways to relay things and be naughty than some examples listed.  

Dirty Bitch, Whore, would be a line not crossed, unless She Absolutely, 100%, states she Wants to hear it. Still would not be totally comfortable. Honest answer. I've had a great sex life in my time Outside of the Hobby, and vocal phrases certainly have been a little different throughout.  Sensual occasions and throw each other all over the room knockdown drag outs. Know each other and you'll know what Your limits are and what You will tolerate.  I am better at talking it than writing it. lol...

I know each have their own things, so to say, but just get into the moment "Real" and enjoy.

-- Modified on 4/5/2017 3:33:19 PM

If I have an unpopular opinion I will try to express it in the nicest way but I will still express it.   I don't find most things offensive myself but try not to ruffle feathers too much because a)I don't want to say anything that may hurt someone's feelings and b) I avoid conflict like the plague.

They felt I was making fun of the handicapped.  Really.

Some OTHFB resented being called a "girl" I doubt anyone had confused her with a "girl" for 30 years and a hundred pounds. lol

and everyone knows it's almost always a "term of endearment" when I say it.  I just don't know how "stupid whore" can be spun into anything but what it is, a "term of disparagement"

The other half being the intent.  
It sounds nice to say words are only as powerful as you let them be. Partially true because I think how you can feel about a word at any particular time can also depend on the source (whose saying it).

-- Modified on 4/5/2017 7:06:48 PM

and if the person has a "smile on their face"  

It's not necessarily the words themselves, it is the intent with which they are delivered. You can have a good non black friend who "drops N's" all the time and not take offense, but then some person you don't know can simply use the term "those people" and it will make all the hair on the back of your neck stand straight up in outrage and anger. Trust me, I've been there on both sides of the equation, both as a non black person running with a mainly black crowd AND as a non white person running with a mainly white crowd. Yes, I get it.

And I didn't say the words don't exactly matter at all. I was careful to use the words 'half', 'to a degree' and 'partially'.

-- Modified on 4/5/2017 9:26:30 PM

So we are never going to see 100% eye to eye where it comes to "locker room talk"

I am sure that not only do you not have those "non black" friends that drop N's all the time, I am willing to bet you try to stay clear of black people who talk that way too. OTOH, I grew up on the "other side of the tracks" and I am what I am. Try growing up in East Side San Jose or the Fruitvale station area of Oakland and then maybe you can relate to what I am talking about. I guess I should also add that I was a teenager in those places many years before you were even born. Let's just say we have different perspectives and call it a day.

... and since we're sharing about our backgrounds right now I didn't grow up in any posh DC suburbs lol.  
I am the child of a single mom who often worked 2-3 jobs and was the first in my family (on my mom's side anyways (my dad was the first on his)) to go college yada yada yada (still feeling the sting of paying off the last of my loans).  
I'm a former "hood" kid too my dear though I won't list my old neighborhoods to solidify my urban hard knock life pedigree.  
Still yeah slightly different perspectives indeed ... cheers.

-- Modified on 4/6/2017 5:16:53 AM

Humiliating someone (or for some, being humiliated) can be a turn on.  I suppose that's more for the BDSM forum though.

I was talking (via the Interweb) with a civie female who said she liked to be called "slut" and "whore" in the bedroom.  I was willing to oblige but I could never close the deal.

Yes I agree