...guy is this common? I just had a client of mine ask to spend thanksgiving with me and offer me double my 24 hour pay. I declined because I am going to be with my family-- but also because I think thats a little strange. Granted we share a very intimate embrace when we have sex-- even if it is for money... but are holidays not a little different? I would think that you would spend them with someone special. To the best of my knowledge this client of mine has family, infact Im not sure but I think he invited me to a family function... so I cant see why he would want me to go-- what is he gonna tell hus family Im his personal liason? Im perplexed by this... guys do you do this often? I know I would be uncomfortable-- but ladies do you do this? Has this happened to you? Or is it just me that gets the wierdos?
Dani
Not so strange if he doesn't have "someone special". If that were the case, taking you to the family function might serve to shut them up for a little while about the fact that he's not dating anyone. Family members can be utterly heartless, often making jokes at the expense of the miserably-lonely single son/daughter/brother/sister.
Your client may indeed be a weirdo, but then again he might just be a lonely guy who wants to feel like he has someone of his own for a few days.
Having a hobbyist ask you to in essence come home and "meet the family"is a sure sign that some of the basic provider/
hobbyist boundaries are blurring.I speak from experience having
considered doing the same with a lady I had seen 8-10 times over a 6 month period.We got way out of bounds very quickly.She started sleeping over after basic 0ne hour dates,after going out to 4 star restaurants...10-12hrs.together and nothing but the basic one hour fee exchanged.Late night phone calls from her asking for personal advice etc.,etc.All this ending in hard feelings when she felt I had misinterpreted her feelings as being more than just a "Professional interest"Final advice....
It is the first step toward inevitable misunderstanding on the part of the hobbyist as to the reality of the providers true interest.
I don't think it is that uncomman.
For the gents who are single, widowed or going thru a divorce, having that kind of intimate companionship during the holidays is essential to their mental and emotional well being.
As for those who have families and functions to attend, I would never classify them as weirdos, they have their own way of dealing with family and friends and it really is not up to us to ask why but to accept or decline. As long as he is holding up his end of the contract so to speak, it really doesn't matter What he tells his family and friends, just as long as you are prepared for any uncomfortable questions in advance, so as not to embarress him or yourself. I knew some of my clients very, very well. But in the end I only knew them as well as they wanted me to.
If you are not comfortable spending your holiday working then thats great. But I would hesitate to paint all hobbiests with such a wide brush based on the fact that they do not celebrate as some do.
I hope everyone has a great holiday season, it is upon us quicker than you think.......
me to".
This is very well said. And it goes both ways. Best for everyone here to remember this, and keep a healthy perspective on things.
You hit the target dead on.....I hate this time of year. Lost my family some time back, and holidays is the low point of my year. Don't think I would ask for a provider to spend it with me....she needs time off and away from work just as much as anyone.....but it would be nice......
I have seen the same provider about seven times over almost two years. The first time was Christmas Day. I was by myself and I assume for her to meet me on Christmas Day, she must have been as well. The next year, I saw her on Christmas Eve. I have invited her to a get together for Thanksgiving as if she is alone, maybe she would enjoy the food and the people. Otherwise, it could be just another lonely day for her. I would never ever embarass her. I know what it is like to be totally by yourself on days like Christmas and Thanksgiving and paying $200 an hour to be with some one on those days really doesn't do much after the hour is up and she is gone.
Holidays are different for everyone. For some folks holidays are a very enjoyable time with family. For others, spending time with family is as enjoyable as a root canal. My 7 siblings don't get along that well to say the least so when you put them all in a room together things can get very stressful, sometimes even ugly. One time we even had fist fights break out at the Thanksgiving dinner table with my family! Can you say Jerry Springer material!?
So I'm often looking for better things to do over the holidays because I truly want to enjoy my time off from work. This guy might be in a similar situation. For whatever the reason, he may feel that spending time with his favorite provider is a way for him to really enjoy his time off from work.
- self delted -
-- Modified on 10/23/2004 4:14:34 PM
-- Modified on 10/23/2004 5:51:35 PM
I might consider it a great compliment! - That he likes you enough to invite you to his family's home at a tradional holiday.
AND, he's willing to pay extra for it...
Seems to me you might reconsider your thoughts about him.
(not saying you should go - but look at him in a different way)
Over the years I spent two Thanksgivings with a Provider (at her invitation) because we were both alone far away from our families. I agree it is strange and would be concern if he is asking you to attend his family Thanksgiving function.