limerick:
• noun - a humorous five-line poem with a rhyme scheme aabba.
often racey and downright graphic in nature.
I would also urge you to make it non-fiction if you are able.
(Cause the truth is stranger than fiction)
Here's one I wrote as an example for you:
"There once was a vixen named Kim
She's truly the creme de la creme!
She gave me a whack
Until my ass cracked
Then slipped a long plug up my rim!"
Enter as many times as you wish.
I will assemble a small group of celebrity judges.
I will keep the contest going until this Wednesday - Feb. 9th.
The winner will recieve a trip for two to Limerick County, Ireland. (and if you believe that I have some swamp-land to sell you in Palm Springs.)
There once was a client named Mort
Who enjoyed seeing squirters for sport
Our man met his fate
When he drowned on a date
With Sassy, who gushed by the quart.
WONDERED????
I once saw 'Fruit of the Loom' on another Bulletin.
It's not mine, but....
There once was a lady from Arden,
The tool of whose swain wouldn't harden.
Said she with a frown,
"I've been sadly let down
by the tool of the fool in the garden."
or
There was a young sailor from Brighton
Who remarked to his girl, "you're a tight one."
She replied, " 'pon my soul,
You're in the wrong hole;
There's plenty of room in the right one."
Just my opinion...
B
But PLEASE nothing from "Nantucket" : )
There once was a fellow fron Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it. . .
Wiping his chin, he said with a grin,
If my ear was a cunt, I would fuck it.
Not an original, but my personal favorite!
There once was a Hobbyist named Skinner
Who took a provider to dinner.
They started to dine
At a quarter past nine
By a quarter past ten it was in her!
(The dinner,not Skinner. Skinner was in her before dinner!)
There once was a hooker named Gail
Who got busted and thrown into jail
The guards were all hot
And so was her twat
So Gail paid her bail with her tail
There once was a commercial female,
who had her prices tatooed on her tail.
And on her behind
for the sake of the blind,
was the same information in Braille.
There was gaucho named Bruno,
who said, "About sex there is one thing I do know,
Women are fine,
Sheep are divine,
But the Iguana, she is Numero Uno!"
There was a young man from Bombay
who made himself a cunt out of clay.
The heat from his prick
turned the clay into brick
and he wore his foreskin away.
Larry the licentious lover
Last night had a chat with his mother.
She'd sent him to bed
With the woman he'd wed
But he wanted to go with another!
She was a dirty lil' whore.
No way would you call her a bore.
Her pussy all wet,
"Someone give it a pet!
And leave me some dough by the door!"
A Palermo girl named Mariucc'
Kept a pedigreed labrador pooch.
"He's too big," she said,
"To sleep on my bed,
But I've taught him to lick out my cooch!"
A whore who was known as a venter
Tired of men who would rent her
But then lack the funds
To make use of her buns,
So on her hole she tattoed, "pay as you enter!'
MA
Here's another:
A busty provider named Rose
Wrapped her lips around one fellow's hose
She sucked till he blew
Such a huge load of goo
She was drenched from her head to her toes.
When a dirty old man from Westchester,
An inveterate kiddy molester,
Popped a roundheeled pre-teen --
His dick soon turned green,
And his testicles started to fester!
A frank young provider named Cass,
Quoting prices, said, "Let's hear no sass.
It's three bills I want
For my mouth and my cunt,
And fifty bucks more for my ass!"
While having a post-coital wash,
A low-priced young hooker said, "Gosh!
My throat is quite numb
From swallowing cum,
And I walk with an audible slosh!"
A portside provider named Freeman
Sucked sailors' stiff dicks like a demon.
As she polished their knobs,
She said, "Love those gobs!
I guess I'm addicted to semen!"
A tall Chinese hoopster named Chang
Possessed such a giant-sized whang
That his favorite provider
As he slid it inside her
Still opened her eyes and said, "DANG!"
Jane's orifices all were glowing
As three guys she was fucking and blowing.
As all three gave a shove,
Said she, "Must be love --
I don't know if I'm cumming or going!"
A tattooed young lovely, Michelle,
Was known to ring everyone's bell.
Said she, "I can beat 'em,
Or fuck 'em, or eat 'em,
And quote Shakespeare to 'em as well!"
And the old standby:
There was an old hermit named Dave
Who would drag dead whores to his cave
He said "When they're dead
They give lousy head
But think of the money I save!"