Woke up this morning to find that a friend of mine that I introduced to the game rolled on me. I tried talking my way out of it...but he has no gratitude. What an asshole! So I had to give up my '71 vette...but that wasn't all. I had to listen to this moron go on and on that men are not really Martians.
So he decided to really put some pressure on me and insisted that he walk around in heels...and I'm supposed to be turned on? I guess his ass jiggled....so it's not just the women. Then he went ballistic on me and wanted to hijack my TER handle and post as my wife..or GF. I told him I doubt anyone would believe his diatribe.
So he tried the extortion deal...and insisted on $ 10k to fund his new licensed venture. But knowing this deal I insisted that testing wasn't mandated. He thinks otherwise. But then he wasn't planning on showing up anyhow for the license application...I knew that.
I had had a lot to drink last night, and needed to take a piss in the worst way. I suggested to my ex-pal that I should piss all over him. Odd that he has the initials RT too.
The real issue started to come out. My ex-pal wanted to date a woman that fucks for money. His conundrum was that he knows about her past. He tried to tell her about it...but I suggested he take a sabbatical and focus on his yoga and shit. He started to really cry about how I don't get it, and that his new gal pal wanted to get a handjob. I didn't know you could jerk off a woman. Maybe he meant she's a TS? He insisted she's a former ballerina...and showed me a pic of her foot.
I tried to soften him up by explaining that people inherently take comments out of context. He just stared at me and asked if I was looking to get shot into space for a year? He started calling me names too...Titty Ho...WTF is that supposed to mean?
But then he fell back into his delirium wondering if his gal pal would see him again ( I know Who this gal is...and she won't LOL). But he figured since she is part British, that she fucks for money while studying in Oxford.
Well...things started to even out and he started swooning over Kim K. I didn't get it, but he really isn't into Taylor Swift. And Kim K likes when he uses his Vitamin V...or so he deluded himiself.
Fortunately I got some emails from a pal who is in Costa Rica now. And this moron wanted to read them. Fortunately for me he has no idea what the secret handshake is to get into this email chain.
Happy April Fools Day everyone