TER General Board

Re:Who stole your butt plug?
DickBead 2204 reads
posted

Hey. Let me have an opinion, please. I read your responses to things and let some of your psychobabble slide. If you want to most reviews of your sessions that's fine. This was a pure jerk-off session.

The discussion board was so slow tonight that my eyes blurred and crossed and I had a vision:  I’m singing soulful karaoke at the Tomahawk Hotel Bar in Bloomington, Minnesota while NetMichelle & Turkana smile at me from the table.  Turkana is waiting for a local gal named Redhead to show up.  I’m singing “In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning” and there’s a tear in Michelle’s eye.  She wipes it away and suggests a foursome.  When Redhead arrives she’s a little surprised to see us all there.  The only person she doesn’t know is Michelle, but she barely remembers me.
 People in the bar are begging me to sing again and I hesitantly oblige.  This time I sit at the table and sing a very slow version of “I Touch Myself”.  Redhead whispers in my ear that we should “ditch these two and get a room.”  I’m about to remind her that she’s here to meet Turk but Heidi, the bartender, is pulling me up to the stage for more music.  Heidi is huge.  Bigger than me.  She has on an apron with a Tomahawk embroidered on it that says, “Kiss the Chief”.  Suddenly it’s a live band and we all know the same ballads by “The Be Good Tanyas”.
 Michelle leads us all upstairs & there is extensive kissing and oral sex.  Then Turk and I push the two queen beds together.  We plug the “Magic Fingers” box full of quarters and the beds start vibrating.  The four of us are penetrating every orifice that slides into our sight.
 After we all cum, Michelle wants to shave everyone’s crotches and we all take turns becoming bald.  We save Michelle for last because the war has ended and we’re helping her celebrate.  Redhead is coaching Turk with the razor and his tongue.  Michelle and I are making-out.  When her pussy is bald I flick all the newly shaven areas with the tip of my tongue & rim her deep.  Redhead is being given the Turk-O-Rama  (a new technique he’s invented involving the use of a modified wooden spoon.)
 Suddenly Heidi from the bar bursts in wearing only her apron.  She shouts in a Norwegian accent, “I’ve only got a 10 minute break!!!”  So the four of us make her air-tight.  When Heidi’s break is over she jumps up, washes her hands and runs back down to the bar.
 After that there is some pretty nasty sex.  There is so much snowballing going on that nobody needs to spit in the sink.  We go way over time but Turk says, “Let me get this one” and uses Paypal.  (Thanks Turk!)  We’re all utterly spent.  Turk and I are standing, swarthy & manly above the reclining ladies.  Our cocks are so used up that they’ve pulled inside of us, giving the illusion that we both have two belly-buttons.
 We go back to the bar.  It’s dark & empty but Heidi has been waiting for us.  She gives us free drinks until the sun comes up.  (Thanks Heidi!)

   And that’s the report from the field.
Love,
   Jockeypants.

Its only a vision but...

I'd luv to hear Turk,Redhead, and Netm's version of what went on...lol

Oh..and can't forget Heidi's too.

Cheers!

-- Modified on 6/13/2004 4:38:01 AM

DickBead2724 reads

Alas, I have a nice stiffy. What a load of crap dude. Wake up and give us something real to read. If you are MN, might it be that you are fucking moose? I mean, sexually reality beats you jerking off to these words. Someone, please give him a mercy fuck.

Some of my sessions have been that wild. I think I'll start writing reviews of my clients and post them on my site. Sucking of toes will be one point extra.

DickBead2205 reads

Hey. Let me have an opinion, please. I read your responses to things and let some of your psychobabble slide. If you want to most reviews of your sessions that's fine. This was a pure jerk-off session.

michelle,
I checked your website, but there is no link to an email! Can you please post or email me - your email address?- Thanks

Turkana2751 reads

No, no, no!  It’s alright, ma, you’re only dreaming.  
The sequence actually happened last year at Marienbad, in a baroque castle surrounded by Tyrolean forests.  RedHead was standing by a balustrade in a cinched corset and thigh-highs. Jockeypants said, “I know I’ve seen you before.  Maybe at Bryant Lake Bowl?” She turns and says in her honeyed voice, “No, we never met.  Now suck my toes.”  Jockeypants goes on his knees while Redhead comments on the statue of the man and woman above them:  “Are they cumming or going? It’s ambiguous.”  Well, of course it is:  it’s NetMichelle and Von Ryan, made up to look like statues, engaged in wicked 69.  As RedHead studies them, she realizes she is in the corridor of the Paris in Las Vegas and that NetMichelle and Von Ryan are made up to look like statues. 1woody is standing next to her emptying his pockets and throwing all his belongings at them.  A French maid appears from around the corner with a bouquet of graceful dildoes in a vase.  Jockeypants, smitten by the maid, forsakes Redhead, lifts maid’s skirt and tries to plunge in, whereupon she stops him and says, “I only do two men at a time.”  OmegaZap comes from the shadows and says, “At last, Sedona!” He obliges at the front, while JockeyPants finally gets in at the back.  1Woody, unable to control himself, has now joined the statues, and is rolling around uncontrolled on his back.   Meanwhile, Turkana has become a shopkeeper at the Forum Shops across the street where he is realizing his life’s dream:  a store by and catering to escorts, featuring Nicole’s “How to Learn Dirtytalk” CDs; Carrie’s Internationally Adaptable Dildo; InterestingWoman’s latest book on how to be mysterious, regardless of gender; the complete library of Bebedoll’s work (available on 30 CDs); and the game section, featuring Find that Prostate!
On the stage, Dingus is conducting a 15-piece orchestra called the Moderators, all of whom are wearing blindfolds and ball gags.  Jockeypants, dressed as an Elvis imitator, steps to the fore and sings….. Meanwhile, Girl Next Door has just opened a few cans of Rice-a-Roni and Spaghetti-O's and dumped it on the statue....


....Okay...I'm drifting Turk...feeling mighty fine...

Rice-a-Roni....lol

I'm "statueing" NetM And Redhead at the same time....

what's that funky music I hear in the backround....

"Rice-a-roni----The Sanfrancisco treat"
DING DING!


Cheers!

I don't remember any of this happening LOL.  Maybe when you get to Minneapolis this summer we can try it out ;-)

Heidi to reserve the room!  
 love,
Jockeypants

P.S.  (I'm getting my plane ticket in a week or so...mmmmmm....
Magic Fingers!)

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