If someone you knew from the boards e-mailed you asking about a girl who is your ATF (but they don't know that) and they were interested in her?? Would you be reluctant to tell them anything??

I am I don't want to be selfish but....I don't know...I just can't seem to give my opinion on this.



-- Modified on 3/12/2005 10:00:47 PM

Dude, lighten up, she's your ATF, do you not want her to be happy and successful?

If it were mine, I'd be telling every guy who asked what they were missing, unless of course, the lady didn't care for me to say so.

The more successful she is, the happeir she will be (I would hope so anyway). The happier she is the better the time will be between you.

I know, that makes it sound like money is the cure all for happiness, that isn't what I'm trying to say. I think it's actually alot deeper then that, but I feel it's a good base way to think of it in this scenario for the moment.... plus I don't have the time at the moment to really get down to brass tacks.

-- Modified on 3/12/2005 9:10:24 PM

I guess the question would be, why is she your ATF, and why are you so protective of that?

If she is your ATF only because of the physical, then what does it matter if another client sees her?

If she is your ATF because of more than just the physical, and you actually do care about her on some level, why would you want to selfishly do anything that could undermine her success in her chosen field?

So, if it's only the physical you shouldn't have a problem with her getting another client, and if it is more than that you should care enough about her to be a little selfless and answer honestly for the sake of her business success.

So, be honest and tell the person what he wants to know.
Oh, and one more thing, I don't actually think it's your blessing to give.

I am reminded of the wise words of one Eolake Stobblehouse (extra points to anyone who knows who that is, since I think it's against board rules for me to mention that info here) -

"Remember that seeing is the only form of having that is actual. Thus, what you can see you can have. The reason for possessing anything is to prevent others from having it too, a pointless exercise."

The point is to appreciate beauty and the female form by looking at it and admiring it.. but not trying to own it.

And I agree with WebTerrorist - the blessing isn't yours to give.

I do want her to be happy...Hey being happy is very important. She is also very successful.

Am I being possessive? Its the last thing I want to be!

-- Modified on 3/12/2005 9:56:58 PM

I would like to think its both physical and mental.

I say blessing only because they asked my opinion and they said they trusted me and would believe what I said. I dunno, wrong word to use maybe??

-- Modified on 3/12/2005 9:57:18 PM

She isn't your wife. She is your favorite provider. It's not your "blessing" to give. If you have feelings like that towards her maybe you should take a break from her.

-- Modified on 3/12/2005 9:59:45 PM

I think I will answer them and tell them she is my ATF and she is above and beyond amazing.

A win-win.
A personal recommendation is always given more weight than paid advertising.  Many ladies prefer word of mouth clientel and it is sharing the goodness your ATF brings into your life to "spread the word".

xoxo,
Sola

Good for you that is very mature!  Now, why would you even ask?  I have an ATF, have been asked about her, and have infact sent folks to her.  She works her ass off, is a great person, and IMHO is a great provider.  To deny her financial opportunity, and to deny other hobbiests a great provider would be wrong minded.  What do I get in return?  I dunno, maybe a great big smile when I next see her!  and that makes my day!

How would you feel if she refused to give you a reference to avoid competition? [$] [eom]

Sometimes...I just need a kick in the pants or a swap upside the head to make me wake up and smell whats up. I think SnowBlind & WebTerrorist did that.

I don't want her to be my wife...I wouldn't mind her as a GF though She's that Great

And...I took a break from her for a while (3 months, saw other providers) and it didn't work. I've taken little breaks too and tried to find another ATF but I still have the same feelings as I did before the break.

Wrong Question to ask.

To shield oneself from this possessive behavior it helps to keep in mind many of these ladies have SO or several SO outside the Hobby.  Inside the hobby they are available to every one of us and belong to no one of us.

No.  I would not be reluctant to tell them ... especially if I knew them from the boards and felt like that would be "good" to my ATF.

It is an odd mixture of friendship, passion and business between an escort and her client.  The same can be said about the client and his ATF (s).  I have had a few ATF's and I would do just about anything for them (within reason and well short of dishonest reviews).  For many escorts, this is their job.  It's how they pay their rent, put their kids through school or afford that weekend at the spa.

I could be wrong here, but this sounds like you are just a little bit jealous of anyone else seeing her.  If that is the case, then you have crossed an important line that is neither good for you nor is it good for her.

Give it some thought.  Examine your motives.  Be honest with yourself.  But lets face it, in any other client/customer relationship, you would be quick to give a glowing referral to a vendor that provided you with outstanding service.

If you had a good time, say so. I used to share a lot of detail information, but now I am trying to keep some details of the experience between myself and the lady.

Just be respectful of the lady at all times.

You made a wise choice. The greatest compliment you can give a good provider is reference to another hobbiest. The exception is a provider who is UTR and wants to stay that way. In that case ask her if it is ok to refer a friend to her.

My $.02

I kinda let this thread weight itself out... but no one has come out and said it

Heres your sweet little redhead saying it

Sorry to whomever :

This isn't a marriage, it is a hobby.

** I wont be answering back.. I'm hiding in a snowbank in Buffalo somewhere ***

It's a business relationship isn't it? If you really like her, why not help her business?

that maybe she is only your ATF.  If she is that good, there may be other gents who consider her an ATF as well.  Help her grow her business and it may come back with big dividends for you as well.

Great analogy.

I've had several guys ask me about my ATF and I've highly recommended her to all that have asked. I want to see her do as well as she can business wise.

I checked around TER for information on the guy, reviews, posts, ect and did not find any. So I wrote him back that I could not give out her name. He understood and we agreed to take it up during the future.