Hi all I'm new here and a little out of place. Why? Because I haven't been with a provider, actually I haven't even been with a woman. And if thats not shocking enough I'm 22, (feel free to gasp, laugh or both.)
Now the problem is that I realy want and need to get laid. I'm not sure if I should pay for the experience or meet a girl, most likely at the college I go to and somehow make it with her.
These are the pro's and cons of both that I can think of.
With a provider, I would get laid instantly and no longer be depressed about being a 22 year old virgin. The cons are that its expensive, the lowest I've seen is $200 and I don't have a job or have any money, so I would have to get a cash advance with my credit card. Also I think that I'd feel that I'm still be a loser because I had to pay for sex, but I won't be a virgin anymore. One more thing is that I doubt doing it one time would hold me for very long and I would have to get another $200 to have another fix which I have no idea how long it could take.
Hooking up with a girl in one of my classes would take an undetermined length of time but odds are I won't be getting laid in the next two weeks. For a little background info on me, I've never had a girl friend, have average looks, height, build, and being around girls turns me into a wuss. I am making an effort to interacting more with girls but its possible that I won't get close to anybody this school semester that ends in 4 months. The pro's about geting with a girl that way is that its a sense of accomplishment, that I'm a "real" man. Also it should lead to plenty of free sex with that girl and it may lead getting more confedence with girls which enables to hook up with other girls also. My dream is to be having an active sex life with about 4 differnt girls that should equal getting laid every or everyother day.
If anybody has comments and suggestions about what I should do please tell me. Thanks
It would probably do a lot more to make you feel better than one session with a provider.
But if you insist on seeing a provider, maybe you should think about one who is a surrogate as well...
see the link:
Maxtro,
Being a virgin at 22 isn't that big a deal...I was 21 when I lost my virginity, and I grew up in the 70s when the worst STD you could catch meant a shot of penicillin. The risks are obviously greater now, and there's no shame in waiting.
Here's some advice that should apply to your entire life, and not just your sex life: Don't buy anything you can't afford. That cash advance on your credit card will have to get paid off somehow.
The odds are that there's a girl in one of your classes who finds you attractive...she's probably the one who says hello every day when she sees you, and does you little "favors" that let you know she's paying attention. You might not be able to spot her right away, but trust me, she's there, so relax.
Patience, Max.
Yoda
He's right.
If you can't afford it, don't do it; there's nothing wrong with being a virgin at 22.
I'd have to check with our statisticians here, but I believe STD's are more common among college ages, so it is good that you are a virgin. Be sure, no matter what, to always have protected sex, regardless of who you're with, what they tell you and how buzzed you are.
As far as feeling like a 'loser' if you 'had' to pay for sex, just ask any of the guys here if they feel like losers. Ask gcinla, or Jacksonlips, or Paulie Walnuts if they feel like a loser. Yes, I know, not the same maybe if you're a 22yo college student.
Ideally, it would be nice if you could meet a nice girl who won't care that it's your first time, and will in fact be sensitive and helpful through your first time with her. That would be the ideal and it can happen that way..going through the normal course of things, and life. And that is what I hope for you.
I don't want you to think I'm 'promoting' that you see a Provider, either, because I'm not. I would just hate for you to be with someone who wasn't caring or sensitive and made you feel bad, and that soured you on many things. I know for certain that a Provider would never make you feel that way and I can think of a few who had virgin clients that they 'schooled' and cast out into the world a more experienced and confident man.
You say, "My dream is to be having an active sex life with about 4 differnt girls that should equal getting laid every or everyother day." Keep in mind the word 'dream'...
I'm not sure why you're not working, but maybe you need to get a job, at least parttime, and this will also help with too much 'thinking' time that you might have now. Then, you can save your money for a Provider, in the meantime, working on some girls in your classes..
Maxtro...Sedona & Yoda gave you some very good advise. As for your age I know of one Lady that deflowered a 40+ yr. old not too long ago. Thinking back to my first time I just wish it would have been with one of the great ladies that are now available thru the hobby. The right Lady may enjoy the cherry picking experience nearly as much as you do. Do your homework...ter is a great resource...the folks on the Boards will give you a great education, checkout the comments & the chatrooms to get a feel of the territory. Use the search features to check out some of the Ladies & just remember to be respectful when you contact them & finally enjoy. BTW... that FREE girl friend sex... forget it ...you pay one way or another...no free lunch.
Keep us updated & good luck.
What a turn-on. I wish there were more virgins out there to deflower hehe. Virgins make such great students.
I have two pieces of advise for ya.
First, start talking to women. I don't mean trying to pick them up all the time, just get that mouth in gear and say something.....anything.
I was very shy about talking to women when I was younger also and that is how you get to be a 22 year old virgin. By simply talking to a lot of women about mundane things: classes, the bonehead holding up the grocery line, music, jokes, how nice her shoes look (don't ask me, just say it) you can easily see who likes you and give them a chance to get comfortable with you.
You will be amazed at what happens if you just spend one month starting conversations. Of course, when you do sense that someone likes you it is time to switch gears and ask her out.
Second, when you do find a woman who wants to get naked with you TELL HER ITS YOUR FIRST TIME. Don't listen to that voice in your head that wants to hear her say afterwards she never knew you were a virgin. Take it from a veteran of the situation and just spill the beans. You will have a much better experience that way.
Hope this helps and good luck.
Try phone chat lines. You can sometimes
find ladies who are horny and just want to have
sex. Maybe a nice older married lady.
Of course, she probably won't be as
fine-looking as most
providers, but it'll be free.
And eat her pussy to orgasm first, before you
fuck. That way she's happy even if you cum quick
from fucking.
As MY said, being a virgin at 22 isn't that big a deal, I was between 21 and 22 when I lost mine.
But if you feel it's that important DON'T go over on the budget!!
If your in college than there are a lot of hang outs that everyone goes to. Go to one with friends and have a beer or two, which will make you a little more relaxed and find a girl there. When I was in school there were several where students went to blow off steam especialy after mids or finals. I had a girl friend at the time but my friends were hooking up almost everytime we went.
Seldom
Thank you for the responses guys. Well I've decided to listen to MasterYoda and have patience and I simply can't afford the experience. As for a girl in my class, there is one who sits next to me and barrows my stapler. I think if I can make converstations with her I might have a chance at being more than stapler boy.
As for the reason I'm not working I'm getting tired of doing jobs that I can't stand and I applied to a couple of places that I would like to work but I haven't heard from them. I'll probobly just end up getting a retail job cause I need the money.
I'm going to go "through the normal course of things, and life." But I am going to be saving money just in case I don't succed in the next several months. Hopefully it won't turn out that way but its allways good to have a plan B.
Thanks again.
When you do things the right way, you have a much better chance of having 'right' results.
And when you're having conversations with this girl, she'll be able to tell the motive of these conversations. A genuine interest in her (italics) as a person; getting to know her - is the best motive. You'll also enjoy them more.
Good luck to you. You know where to find us..
Maxtro, you have one of those great "sweet enough to work, safe enough that it gives her the easy out" pick up lines and you've already said it...
Next time she asks to borrow your stapler, just say "I'm hoping for a chance at being more than stapler boy" and see what she says.
the others gave you some great advise! Be mindfull of your budget, and stay away from credit. Theres plenty of time to ruin your credit after college. 
I also wanted to point out, that there is no such thing as free sex... If you do the math, providers can actually be CHEAPER than a g/f. Assuming an average of $50 for a date, and a girl who needs 4 dates to start sleeping with you, that's an initial invesment of at LEAST $200 before you get laid, plus there is the ongoing relationship maintenence.
Good advice SeldomSeenSmith. The author of the post should not be ashamed of being a 22 year old virgin, I was one at 20 and also went celibate for more than half a decade after losing my virginity, so stuff like what the poster is experiencing happen. Seldom's advice about going to the local college hangout on a Thursday, or Friday night and having a beer or two, or three is great. The beer will free up your tongue, and if you do not over do it, will make talking to women easier for you. There are hangouts on and around every college campus. You will probaly meet young women, who like you, are wallflowers and very possibly virgins (please do not make their being a virgin a requirement, that would be stupid) who you can have conversations with and maybe develop a relationship with. Don't worry about taking a little time off to hangout, doing so will make you more well rounded.
I agree with Master Yoda and Sedona. I would hate to think that your first experience would be a bad one and unforgettable in the worst sense. I don't believe in the old verbage, "Your not a man until you've been had." Silly verse, isn't it? It's even more silly to let friends persuade you or make you feel guilty because you're still a virgin. So you're in college -- great! Maybe you can actually study and get good grades. There's nothing wrong with waiting until you've done all the responsible things, like getting a degree, then go for the gusto if you want to experience the wild side. Make sure you're making enough money, first, before dabbling in hobbying. It can get expensive. Just ask any of these guys on this Board. My suggestion to you, and you don't have to take it literally, is to remain a virgin until you feel it's the right time to take the plunge -- and hopefully with the right person. And when you've done that, I'll be waiting for you with open arms.
Hugs,
Ciara
Hi, Having been in your position, and in retrospect, there is nothing wrong with where you are at. Your self identity is much more important than who your friends think you are. Having had sex will not change who you are, nor will it make you more popular or confident with women. Think with your head and heart, not your penis.
Masterbation is free, you can be with any woman in the world, and is completely safe, without the STD's, emotional traumas, nor pregnancy that sex comes with it. If truly losing your viginity is ALL that you want, being with a provider is not without its downsides:
There is a causality in being with a provider. A woman is having sex with and caring about you because you are giving her money. What she says to you, how she responds to your touches, may also be because of the money- you will never know if its true or not. There are no emotional gives; at the end of the session, that care and intense intimacy you just experienced will dissappear like a dream. A provider may spoil you, and negatively affect your relationships in the future. The only way to continue it is to buy another session. I personally suggest using a provider, only after having had some serious relationships under your belt.
If you want more words of encouragement, you can email me.
There is an upside to your first time being with a provider. It all depends on how you look at it. If you are upfront and let her know it is your first time, and that you want to learn what to do and how to do it, you can learn many things. You are not looking for emotional support, but a learning experiance. After all you are in college and learning is why you are there. If you pay attention and learn well, when you do meet a special girl who wants to spend some fun naked time with you, you will be in a better position to please her because you will have some idea what you are doing. just my 2 cents.
I was a 25 year old virgin (by choice) and was saving myself for the women that I fell in love with. I did start dating someone, she was in grad school and I had already begun a career. We had gone to the same school for undergrad. We dated for a relatively short period of time and one night we ended up sleeping together.
The sex was awful and I was so upset I cried myself to sleep. I was upset with both of us and especially myself for sleeping with a women I was not in love with (for my first time).
After we broke up, I became a hobbyist (yes, at 25). The first experience with a provider was so nerve-racking. I thought I was going to pass out. As I progressed, I learned a great deal and became more comfortable with my own sexuality.
DO NOT RUSH IT!!!! THERE IS NO HURRY. You will find someone that you truly care for. Also do not buy what you can't afford. You are too young to start that way.
Regarding the hobby, I enjoy it, otherwise I wouldn't do it. I do not consider myself a "loser." I'm fairly attractive, in my 30s, divorced, no children and am unattached.
I have met many lovely, interesting, intelligent and sensual women through the hobby, that I wouldn't have otherwise.
Just another man's story....
Yes, true, I did not present the opposite side. But my point is that he soes not a provider to wreck his virginity. But let me continue on your thread.
If you can present such provider to the dear man, than he would be much better off than finding one on on his own, espescially someone in the $200 price range.
Depending on where he lives, there is good chance that he will run into a ROB the 1st time, or worse yet someone who knows that it his first time and take advantage of his lack of familiarity with the process to provide less than his due. Money is still in the equation here. I've been there too. In comparison, losing my virginity with the girlfriend I really liked and wanted to get into bed for a long time was much more gratifying than my first good provider.
Having a sympathetic pro break you in is not a bad idea but borrowing on a CC IS.(just ask this voice of experience)
Women can "smell" when a man has not had sex for a long time or never. If you do come up with the cash for a provider to show you the ropes there is a good chance the co-eds at college will get the "scent" that you are an active male and start cozying up to you more.
-- Modified on 2/22/2004 7:49:31 PM
just kidding about the bum part. Get that first 'nut' out of your system. You seem to be very self concious about it so it's like a huge anchor weighing you down. Once you get this off your shoulders you will lift that burden and carry yourself with more confidence which will help you get babes in the civilian world.
So rake leaves, mow lawns, pump gas, bag groceries, odd jobs, paint your moms house......do anything and you'll have the dinero in a couple weeks. Don't start racking up credit card debt to pay for this hobby, you'll be filing for bankruptcy before you know it. Besides, you'll need to get a job to pay it off anyway.
Do your research here on TER and locate a lady of your liking. I'd suggest telling her your situation about being a virgin, this might make things go better. Bust that first nut and you'll be home free.
Don't worry. There could be worse things in life than losing your virginity to a provider.
This being the internet and all, there is of course no way of knowing whether or not everything you said is the truth. But regardless, the setup you described is almost exactly the situation I found myself in at the age of 24. I too thought that I would only be a "real" man when I banged a normal girl. I was depressed. I wanted a real girlfriend, but was so shy around girls that I believed whenever I got a girlfriend or whoever I lost my virginity to would be physically less than what I had dreamed of.
But after seeing a provider for my first experience, I still felt like a "real" man. While it took some time, and a few visits with different girls in the hobby, eventually I began living a "normal" sex life with real girls and girlfriends.
My advice is that if you really are thinking about taking the plunge, do some research on TER and assess your immediate needs. If you do want to go through with it then, then go for it.
Just remember two things. First, If you're looking for a one-time session of fun, let it be that. Don't begin serious hobbying or binge-hobbying if you can't afford it (I made that mistake).
Second, remember that these ladies, as nice as some of them will be to you, they are still businesswomen. I always hobbyied with an open mind. I was on my fifth or sixth provider before I actually let my feelings interfere with my hobbying and let it crush me. Fortunately, that was a one-time mistake and I've moved on.
So do your research, a one time loss of $$ isn't that bad, and when in session remember to have fun but don't get carried away into letting the little head make all the important decisions.
Hey Maxtro, I can relate to you man and your story is similiar to mine. If it's any consolation I first got laid this past january, at 24yrs old....with a provider. Like you,I'm a decent college educated guy,shy around girls,never had a girlfried,etc. But what you need to do first is define your goals. Are you looking for sex or for a companion? You said "I realy want and need to get laid", so in that regard I really don't recommend a relationship just for sex. Now if you can find girls at bars,parties,chat rooms,etc who just want to bang then go for it.
As far a affording the hobby, like evevryone else said stay away from the credit cards! It has to be paid back. I suggest a parttime job of some sort so that you can laid at least once a month.
Hope this helps and feed free to PM or email me.
Go get you some!
Wow I'm surprised to get so many responses and most of them are realy good
Define my goals. For starters I am looking for sex and a companion. More like a friend with bonus's. I don't believe that I'm ready for a girl friend or can afford one but I still want the action. Thats possible right? But if I can find a girl who just want's to bang I won't pass her up.
As for the hobby I'll take the advice I got and wait till I get a job before I can think about getting satisfied that way. Also when will be the best time to tell a provider that I'm a virgin, on the phone or when we meet and then explain my situation to her. Also it would be nice if somebody could reccomend a girl that will be understanding and helpful and won't try to rip me and off I'd realy appritate it. But she has to be in her early 20's, pretty and with a good body. Its the only type of girl in interested presently. I'm in the San Francisco bay area.
About the college hangout idea mentioned earlier, unfortuantely I go to a junior college and theres nothing like that. So the only places to meet girls is at class. Unless there is some secret place all the girls go to after school that I don't know about.
Thanks for the advice.
"the lowest I've seen is $200 and I don't have a job or have any money, so I would have to get a cash advance with my credit card."
If the $200 is a problem, then you are barking up the wrong tree here. Strike one. If you don't have a job, it sounds like you have bigger problems than a dry sex life. Work on that first, buddy. Income will come in handy for a lot more than just getting laid.
I really think that doing into debt and getting a high-interest cash advance on a credit card, would be a BIG mistake.
"Also I think that I'd feel that I'm still be a loser because I had to pay for sex"
This statement reveals two things: You have the wrong attitude about your virginity (strike two) and the wrong attitude (or perception) of the hobby (strike three). I don't think that getting into this, is going to help you much.
Don't get into this in order to "stop being a loser." The best reason to get into this, is that it's FUN! Maybe learning how to have fun (and I'm not just talking about sex) will stop you from being a loser, but there are cheaper ways to do that. Once you free your mind, THEN you can try a provider, if you still want to.
On the plus side (going against everything I said above): you mentioned confidence. I have to admit, the hobby helped me with that. I thought paying would negate it, but it didn't. Being around beautiful women and knowing that I can have one, any time, for a few pieces of paper, and becoming more familiar with them, made "hot babes" less intimidating.