This thought has occured to me more than once. Simply - can it be set up that the ladies would rate the guys? Appearance, hygeine, performance, hassle free encouter, ease of appointment set up, on time etc?
Would this be of use to anyone!? Does anyone care? how to accomplish!? Thoughts - and recommendations Please this thought is killing me....
Report From the Field (7)
Posted by Jockeypants , 6/28/2004 9:23:17 PM [Jockeypants has 13 reviews]
TER REVIEW FORM FOR PROVIDER ON HOBBYER
Hobblers Handle:
Incall/Outcall:
Hobbyist Phone: Choose: “cell” / “work phone” / “home with S.O.” / “home alone”
Hobbyist Email: Choose: “short & sweet” / “long winded” / “gives good email”
Screening: Choose: “Yes, full compliance” / “Yes, fear pervades” / “No, dump him”
Status: Choose: “S.O.” / “single” / “don’t care”
Employment: Choose: “independently wealthy” / “HPJ” (High Paying Job) / “nice but low rent” / “staying with parents”
SERVICE INFORMATION - (WHAT HE “WANTED”):
Escort Service Wanted: “meal & FS” / “FS only” / “extended stay”
Massage Service Wanted: “only” / “yes, with HJ” / “yes, with tongue”
S&M Wanted: “no” / “light” / “heavy” / “nipple torture only” (it was Jockeypants)
Style Wanted: “GFE” / “PSE” / “combo”
Time: “early bird” / “afternoon delight” / “night owl”
ACTUAL SERVICES PROVIDED:
Sex: “hell yes!” / “umm, yes” / “sorta yes” / “well, no”
Massage: “none required” / “hairy” / “not so hairy”
S&M: “ball kicking level” / “wax dripping level” / “spank level” / “foot worship only”
Blow Job: “no” / “yes, with condom” / “yes, flesh finish” / “cim spit” / “cim swallow” / “cim snowball”
Touch Pussy: “nice” / “fingernails” / “dirty fingernails” / “oil rig worker”
Lick Pussy: “yes, thank the supreme being” / “competent” / “teeth” / “CFC” (couldn’t find clit)
Kiss: “ooooaaah!” / “nice” / “moustache” / “over-sized tongue” / “room for improvement”
Anal: “yes, thanks” / “ABA” (attempted, but alas) / “NOBPB” (not offered but he politely begged) / “NOTAFO” (not offered, tried anyway, showed him the door) / “I used my strap-on”
Two Girl Action: “no” / “yes” / “yes, thank god she was there”
Two Guy Action: “no” / “yes” / “no, but it felt like it”
Full Session: “came & went” / “multiple popper” / “over stay, my pleasure” / “over stay, his pleasure”
His Massage Quality: “say yes!” / “say no!” / “oil rig worker”
Other Services Provided: “mutual rimming” / “farm implements” / “other: __________”
HIS REQUESTS:
Outfit: “garter belt” / “slut” / “biker chick” / “schoolgirl” / “full animal costume”
Make-Up: “full” (no S.O.) / “none” (suspicious S.O.) / “some” (he has baby-wipes in the car)
Can I Leave Marks?: “no” (S.O. at home) / “some” (can blame it on labor intensive job) / “yes” (single or oil rig worker)
“BE PREPARED” HOBBYER INFO:
Donation: “yes” / “yes with gratuity” / “yes with gift” / “yes, left his underwear behind” / “rip off”
Build: “average” / “toothpick” / “Willard Scott”
Age: “over 70” / “under 70”
Viagra: “no” / “maybe” / “had to have been”
Penis: “john holmes” / “john doe” / “john wayne bobbit”
Bush: “shaved” / “natural – clean” / “natural – flea market”
Hair: “clean” / “greasy” / “none”
Chest: “Arnold Schwarzenegger” / “Don Knotts” / has “man breasts”
Piercing: “no” / “affected use of condom”
Tattoos: “no problem” / “tender & scabby”
Ethnicity: “clearly understood him” / “ESL” / “huh?”
Transsexual: “no” / “pre-op” / “post-op” / “not actually sure”
Smokes: “no” / “yes – gross” / “yes – thank god, so I could partake”
On Time?: “yes” / “late, with call” / “late, no call”
Overall Attitude: “Old hand” / “Newbie” / “grateful for any attention whatsoever”
Oral Fixation?: “no” / “just kiss & DATY” / “there was a thin layer of saliva on every exposed area of my flesh”
Overall Performance: “1. Deer in the Headlights” / “2. Quick Bunny” / “3. Frisky Bear” / “4. Wild Monkey” / “5. Godzilla in Tokyo”
General Description:
Juicy Details:
Good luck boys!
That’s the report from the field,
Jockeypants
-- Modified on 5/10/2005 9:25:08 PM
Jockeypants, you get it! Something lite - but that would still give a guy something to work on - and who knows maybe the information would help in civvie life too.... and improve relations all round... Great take on the form!
My ego couldn't take it, LOL.
Do any other professionals (attorneys-doctor) rate their clients? I hope not because the last time I saw my doctor I had a fever of 104, throwing up, not showered, hair not combed in days and I was late.
Besides, I would be biased and give all the guys a 10 just for taking time to come see ME. There are a lot of wonderful ladies to choose from but
he chose ME so thats an instant 10... 
No, no, no, not so! Here's the review you'd actually write after our as-yet-to-happen session:
Hobblers Handle: marce1
Incall/Outcall: incall
Hobbyist Phone: “whispering on work phone”
Hobbyist Email: “gives great email”
Screening: “yes, but he has a different name”
Status: “S.O. probably”
Employment: “WPJ” (Well Paying Job)
SERVICE INFORMATION - (WHAT HE “WANTED”):
Escort Service Wanted: “FS, fer sure”
Massage Service Wanted: “yes, with tongue”
S&M Wanted: “suck me til my head caves in”
Style Wanted: “GFE”
Time: “afternoon delight”
ACTUAL SERVICES PROVIDED:
Sex: “umm, yes”
Massage: “not so hairy”
S&M: “tongue-whipped him til he came”
Blow Job: “blew his d*** and his mind”
Touch Pussy: “made the kitty purrrrr”
Lick Pussy: “yes, thank the supreme being”
Kiss: “nice”
Anal: “NOBPB”
Two Girl Action: “another time”
Two Guy Action: “not any time”
Full Session: “multiple popper”
His Massage Quality: “touched everything he could see”
Other Services He Provided: “offered rimming”
HIS REQUESTS:
Outfit: “garter belt”
Make-Up: “I didn't sign up to see Tammy Fae”
Can I Leave Marks?: “none on the outside”
“BE PREPARED” HOBBYER INFO:
Donation: “yes, with gratuity”
Build: “average american adult”
Age: “under 70”
Viagra: “maybe”
Penis: “john doe”
Bush: “currently president”
Hair: “clean, not white”
Chest: “Don Knotts”
Piercing: “no freakin way”
Tattoos: “none that I could see”
Ethnicity: “hasnt had a family member come from Europe for 3 generations”
Transsexual: “loves sex on a tran -- Oh, I thought you said train”
Smokes: “no - not until I got done with him”
On Time?: “yes, he couldn't wait”
Overall Attitude: “grateful for any attention whatsoever”
Oral Fixation?: “there was a thin layer of saliva on every exposed area of my flesh”
Overall Performance: “ Frisky Monkey”
General Details:
marce1 had made email contact thru the TER discussion boards, and once I instructed him on the proper procedure, he made phone arrangements thru my scheduler for an hour at the incall. He arrived on time, looking a little uncertain – I think he is fairly new at this. We proceeded to the bedroom where he headed straight for…
Juicy Details:
…the shower. Driving across town makes that a necessity, he said, and invited me in with him. We had fun soaping each other and exploring. He’s in pretty good shape for a 50-something and fortunately his initially unimpressive unit grows to a respectable size when excited. We joked about the itty-bitty titty club and how there is not, but should be, an equivalent male expression. Or, maybe a little blue pill women could take for a temporary silicon look. Out of the shower and onto the bed, marce1 enjoyed some LFK and DFK while his hands did a tour around the world with much attention to my chest. I think he was weaned at too early an age. He really enjoyed my BBBJTC skills and let me have all the fun I wanted, to take his edge off. He sure did wiggle! After I cleaned him up, he went to DATY and everywhere else, which quickly re-awoke his sleeping staff. I rolled on a cover and we played alphabet soup for a while til we hit some sort of FTFRELS thing I’d never seen before and he popped again while worshiping my erect, eraser-head nipples. I think he was pretending he was in Greece, even tho it wasn’t offered. We cleaned up, dressed up and parted ways, with him leaving behind a generous gratuity. I’d see him again if I haven't f'd him to death this time.
Marce1 you are referring to me right.. I kind of got it when you said we discussed the itty bitty titty club.. You are funny I cant wait to meet you and we'll have to see if the frisky monkey rating is true or not..
Dayum! You are as sharp as you is gorgeous!
Tell Zoe to await my call! The frisky monkey wants to see if the lady is as beautiful as her pictures!
TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1. You can GET chocolate legally.
2. "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7. If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
8. Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
9. The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
10. You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your work mates.
11. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
12. You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13. With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
14. Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
15. You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
16. Good chocolate is easy to find.
17. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18. You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
19. When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
20. With chocolate size doesn't matter; it's always good
-- Modified on 5/11/2005 3:17:25 AM
"You know why God is a man? Because if God was a woman she would have made sperm taste like chocolate."
-- Carrie Snow
I'd just add the caveat ... that she'd make it taste like chocolate without the calories.
Aphra
my girl says when i eat canned pineapple for a couple days before it tastes sweet .try few calories. i now eat pineapple everyday just in case