Cheers Rodney!

One-liners by comedian Rodney Dangerfield

Associated Press


One-liners by Rodney Dangerfield:

Oct. 5, 2004, Joke of the Day on Dangerfield's Web site:

"I tell ya I get no respect from anyone. I bought a cemetery plot. The guy said, 'There goes the neighborhood!'"

"When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped my mother."

"When I started in show business, I played one club that was so far out, my act was reviewed in Field and Stream."

"Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: `Basement?'"

"When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one showed up."

"I never got girls when I was a kid. One girl told me, `Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. There was nobody home."

"When I was three years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me."

"When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's."

"With my wife, I don't get no respect. The other night there was a knock on the front door. My wife told me to hide in the closet."

"With my wife, I get no respect. I fell asleep with a cigarette in my hand. She lit it."

Last of a dying breed, he was a great comedian.

I think Rodney is making Janet Leigh laf, while she makes him scream!

And they are both enjoying it!



TET

Good man.

In homage to getting  no  respect

I went to see a provider she paid me to leave.
I asked one lady if she would like Russian  she said  sure  then got up and moved to Moscow.
I was with a lady  thought I was doing great  she had  her eyes closed and was smiling, then she opened her eyes and  said...
"Oh  I thought you left an hour ago."
One lady said she would only agree  to  doggie  that way she could still see  the TV.

Good bye and thanks for all the laughs
With my  respect
 

Many years ago, I met Rodney in an elevator in NYC. Same in person as on stage or in movies. A genuinely nice guy and funny as hell. He'd talk you as if he knew you for years, and he talked to everyone who approached him. Will miss his humor.

Rodney created some funny characters in his lifetime!

As a gesture of respect for Rodney, I think we should all try this classic line from Caddyshack the next time we find ourselves in polite company.

“You’re a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?”

respectfully ....

Hookers have the best racket, they got somethin, they sell it , and when it's over, they still got it!

"I'm having marital problems again.  My wife broke up with her boyfriend."

RIP Rodney

He was a comic genious!!!!! I will miss him. I would always laugh so hard and almost cough up a lung, when he did his routine.

" A guy hit me with a car. I asked him If he was blind? He said I hit you, didn't I ? Good Bye, Rodney!!!! :o(