Just curious!
Once in awhile I come across a provider who will address me using such terms. This will occur within the context of a session, or even during the course of a telephone conversation with someone who has never even met me.
Don't really understand why, but.....I'm not really crazy about it. Does this bother anyone else or is it just me?
PG
This has been discussed before. It is simpler than remembering your name.
I feel the same way. It feels somewhat condescending - almost to put you in your place as a client not a true lover, almost a blatent message that she has no emotional attachment in the sex. I'd rather have her address me in a more formal way than supposed terms of endearment when we all know that isn't the case.
Example, "Sorry" vs. "Sorry, Sweetie"
I think you're overly sensitive! Geez, I've been calling people "sweetie" for years, (and you've never called a woman "baby"??) back when I was a 9 to 5-er, like that song, you know, "she calls everybody baby..."
-Anya
Yes and no .......... It's very hard sometimes when a provider half your age constantly calls you "baby" .. your so good to me baby... fuck me baby ... oh yes baby .... it gets old real quick.
Just don't EVER call me daddy or papi!!!!
Hey- somebody calls me either one of those in the throes of passion- I think I would be all over it!
Sully- never having done any of the vatas...
I think those with the finger up the butt diease seem to notice more things, than the average "joe" out there..
see link below for words
http://www.christinelavin.com/00113001decysbhn.html
Click below on the link to hear the song
You got it, Rick! I am totally guilty of doing this because I can't remember their names. If men are honest they have done the same at some point in their lives. We providors see many, many, many men in a short period of time and you can't always bring the name to the front of your brain when it's needed so Hon works well.
I hate "hun" and "darlin" especially when it's said with a little bit of a twang... makes me feel like I'm in a southern brothel during the wild west days. Having that image in my mind is horrible.
I notice this more of the agency operator's than the girls. I remember calling one for an appointment and listening to the lady calling me "hun", "darlin" and "toots"... she sounded so uneducated that I simply decided to call someone else. Do you really want someone like that handling your personal information???
I don't mind if a provider forgets my name... but I'd rather hear her use a sexy voice, blink her eye and say "come here you" than, "hey sweetie pie"! This is 2004... not 1884.
-- Modified on 1/15/2004 6:51:15 PM
I hated it when they call me with all those names, and politely I ask them not to use any of those name on me in the future. The one I hate the most is baby.
-- Modified on 1/16/2004 7:32:54 AM
I totally agree with you. All the pet names make me feellike it's just a job to them--just another nameless, faceless dork giving up the money. I guess that's why I never get attached to any particular one.
and I know it bothers some people, but it's a hard habit to break!
One of my best guys told me that it bothered him, and I stopped. But it's just toooo difficult, with other people, to not bust out with a toots or a sugar puck.
My favorite is darling, in an Audrey Hepburn sort of way.
I find it to be a real turn-off.
Im glad my ATF calls me by my name....i agree the hun's sweety's ect.......are all an act
Sham
being called an a$$hole or being called a cute name? lol Sure can't please people today for sure.
-- Modified on 1/15/2004 2:49:02 AM
Southern girls are known for doing this type of thing instinctively....provider or not. When they do it with a little bit of accent thrown in....WOW!
of being "anal" LOL
I spent every summer in Delhi, LA growing up. I know when I call someone, "hun" or "sweety", it's ment as a sincerely kind gesture. I would never say such a thing to someone I didn't like. So take it as a NICE thing from a person like myself; not as something to feel insulted about. Relax. : )
It doesn't bother me.
A provider can use any term of endearment with me. It's all good.
Those guys need to Get out of their egos and into the sex....
In my book, "F--- me Baby" is music to my ears.
Do they prefer, "Oh God, Oh God oH gOD..." becaus they believe she is referring to them?
LOL - I am reminded of the old daying "never look a gift horse in the mouth."
go by, it sounded more and more endearing even though I know she addresses others with same terms. (She knew my name by heart as she regularly addresses me by my name.)
On the other hand, I met a new lady a month or two ago who constantly repeated my name while I was doing her. I found that actually strange as I had only met her minutes ago. That actually dampened my spirit a bit as her act was a bit too professional for my taste. (I could barely remember her hobbying name so I don't expect her to remember mine.)
Makes me feel like Larry Hagman in "I dream of Jeannie."
with co-workers.
I don't think I 'over do it' with clients (they haven't commented), and I don't think I do it in a fake or phoney sense but that's also because I'm not thinking of it in that way, so hopefully not.
If anything, I do think it helps the mood be more personal. As if jumping into the most intimate of moments with a perfect stranger isn't already bizarre, if you will, in itself, it is more personal to say "can I get you some water, hun?" rather, than, "Dr. Smith, would you like some water?".
So, the real issue to me would be, then, in HOW it's said - sickenly, drippingly phoney sweet would be annoying.
I call most women "darlin'" or "sweetheart"; to me it is not really a term of endearment. If it bothers you, you have 2 choices: find another provider; or over look it.
I don't find it offensive unless it continues on and on, as if they can't remember my name. Reminds me of cocktail waitresses. If I'm with someone for a least a few hours (my norm), its too impersonal given the situation and activities going on. Part of larger picture that includes insincere compliments. We should have a thread on those alone. Some have been so funny given the context of the conversation I have actually laughed out loud. Its actually painful to see a provider searching desparately for something nice to say. Put them at ease now...tell them I know that I have nice teeth and hair and look good in blue shirts. Prefer real, genuine women who will also state the negative as well as the positive. And I do the same and its appreciated. Best compliment I receive is that I am a real person. And I love to be treat like one.
When I first started, I would literally hang up on anyone who called me "Sweety" as I find it a chauvenistic derogatory term unless used by someone you know well.
If a client I have know for more than 3 months uses it, it takes the opposite effect of an endearing term especially since it took them a while of establishing a bond to use it.
Honey sucks. Darlin' is southern so not as bad.
If a Southern gentleman uses any of these terms, I view it as them addresses me as they would using my first name. Since I lived in Florida and have traveled the US by car, there are some cities where Sweety or Darlin' substitutes for Ms. or Mr. Go into a retail shop in Dallas or Georgia.
But in LA, Sweety used by a man is bad news. It's the term of a player trying to get familiar fast. Sometimes I still hangup when I hear it.
No one on the east coast calls you Sweety unless they are going to murder you.
HB
If you used "Hun" (east coast), they'll just think you might be serving coffee. Typically waitress term.
"Honey" (east coast) is a older Jewish woman (in sales, real estate, headhunter, ect.) telling it like it is. "Well, Honey, you can't expect to get a 2BR duplex with a terrace on the upper east side without paying at least 3 mil." Sorta a "I know more than you do, so trust me on this one." "Honey, I wouldn't eat there if I were you. That place has a reputation for having the worst food in town."
Sweety (east coast) is a con artist-assassination term if used familiarly. "Sweety, if I were you I'd take the long way home. Yah, the long way. Take Lenox Avenue and get out of the car real slow like."
Sweety (west coast) when used instantly by a married or an attached man to a stranger (woman) is an attempt to pretend for that moment they are single. The word Sweety negates all children, marriage certificates, female live in lovers and attachments. When I hear Sweety, I know they are married. A single guy does not call you Sweety unless he's over 60 and Jewish.
"Baby" is fine on either coast. It's a protective slutty term used to denote possession and women love to be possessed at least for an hour. When in doubt, use "Baby".
These terms are not used because they forgot your real name. They are used to qualify the relationship and whether they want the upperhand. A submissive guy is not going to call you Sweety. He'll call you Maam or your first name. A dominant controlling man will use Sweety. And again, if you know someone for more than a few months, Sweety is fine.
Don't call a complete stranger Honey, Sweety or Buttercup.
Maam? I haven't heard that since my son left military school and reverted to "hey, you!"
So, what's the code word for respect?
Inquiring minds...
See, I disagree, that you have to be from a certain area, to talk a certain way. When I talk, I talk from the heart (which every person should, anyways). Those who know me, know that I am an affectionate, friendly, happy go lucky woman 
I speak straight from the heart, and for those who cannot connect with me, then they might want to go somewhere else, where someone may be more reserved. Otherwise, this sugarsnaps, babycakes, honey-bunny rabbit is going to continue hopping happily onwards towards the wild blue yonder lol
meowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Mel
-- Modified on 1/15/2004 7:19:56 PM
Geezus,I just saw my ATF today and I must of called her sweetie at least a half dozen times! And oh the horror! She actually called me honey a couple of times too!
-- Modified on 1/15/2004 7:59:25 PM
You are something!
-- Modified on 1/15/2004 7:58:06 PM
Sedona and Heather Baron got to the heart of the matter. There are some women who naturally address men in this way, in non sexual contexts as well. And yes, statistically it's more common among southerners.
When said in this way it doesn't bother me a bit. In fact, I find it rather charming. On the other hand, there's the way a streetwalker says it, and that'll send me running elsewhwere PDQ.
Sweety on the initial call usually comes with: "Sweety, what are your rates? Sweety, I only have a hundred dollars. I'm broke Sweety." I guess I hear Sweety used with negative stuff so it has taken negative connotations.
Either that or "I can only do weekdays. I'm married Sweety."
or
the invasive....
First line on the phone....
"Sweety, can you tell me where you are located, I mean specific street address, apartment number?
Sorry, I would have to get some more information before I provide that information. What's your name?
"Well, screw you Sweety." he says and hangs up.
The tirekicking Sweety.
Had one of these Armenian Sweety derogatory (you know, calling me names, explicit stuff, rude, no intention of booking, harassing) types calling for a good solid year. One day he called unblocked. I told him to stop calling me. He didn't. Same number came up. So I traced the number to his auto dealership and called him back. He picked up and hung up on me.
Next time I was in town, I dropped by thea auto dealership at the same time at night that he always would call me. Every night at 7:30 pm.
The dealership light was on but the door closed. I saw a body at the desk in the front window and the guy was in the computer.
I knocked at the door and he opened it. Standing before him I said "Hi. Sweety. I drove all the way from Vegas to ask you why you keep calling me every night and cursing me out. Can I come in?"
"By all means." he said.
Classic Armenian furniture, flat carpet, water cooler. I sit down. He sits down across me.
"What seems to be the problem?" I say.
"With what?" he says.
"Say Sweety." I say.
He says, "What?"
"Say it. Say Sweety." I say.
He say it "Sweety."
"I don't want you calling me again, Sweety. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes. Sorry."
I left. No more Sweety calls from the Armenian auto sales dude. No more appearances needed.
-- Modified on 1/15/2004 8:10:40 PM
What you've demonstrated, and quite well I might add, is that the connotations are very different depending on whether it's a woman addressing a man or a man addressing a woman. There are many fine women, provider and otherwise, who routinely address their male casual acquaintences with such terms of endearment. There are no nice guys who do the likewise.
Since the original poster was talking about women addressing men, that's what I talked about. I brought you into it only because I found your reminder of Southern speech patterns interesting, fun and relevant.
Oh, there is one exception to the rules I mentioned: theater people, who routinely address everyone as "love", or "darling". Sometimes they forget themselves in the "real" world. I make allowances.