There once was a provider by the name of sue Took the day off but was horny did not know what to do If she was a man her balls would be big & blue But because she's a chick, She went shopping for Jimmy Choo's (shoes)
There once was a hoe from Nantucket For $$ bucks you could fuck it Whether standing or sitting down You never left with a frown Her motto was "I'll f&@^k anybody in town"
disclaimer; not meant to be mean or rude by referring to charater in limerick as ho or it
A one-eyed provider named Tink Said, "I keep knocking over my drink When I see a cute guy, And he gives me the eye, And I answer him back with a wink."
Alice would fuck, blow and ream Till her orifices filled with cream. She said, "Small groups are fine, But I once drew the line At the USC basletball team!"
Father Murphy showed Sister Marie His penis one day during tea. He said, "What d'ye think?" The good nun turned pink. "Nice size, for a white one," said she.
The cunt of a whore named Le Hand Was stretched wdie as the span of a hand. "It's too losse, but," she said, "When I stand on my head, I can be my own umbrella stand."
There once was a bald man named Lex, Who spent day and night thinking of sex, Then he met a provider, and paid cash to ride her and would have done it again if she took checks.
A horny old bastard named Fred Fucked a corpse that was seven days dead. "It's gross, but I find It puts me in mind Of my ex-wife's performance," he said.
A virgin one day, for a stunt, Hung a "NO ENTRY" sign on her cunt. Yet the boys weren't deterred For they'd all heard the word That she'd suck you as long as you'd want.
A naughty young boy asked his sis To bend over and give it a kiss. Her eyes opened wide. "How nasty!" she cried. "But I'll let you look on while I piss."
A hooker expressed consternation At the sperm count per ejaculation. She said, "If that's true, I've consumed so much goo That I've swallowed a whole generation!"
A UPS driver named Jack Spied a redhead with quite a nice rack. "Here's a package," he said, "For that pussy so red." But she told him, "Deliveries in back."
There once was a man from Old Mass, Whose balls were made out of brass. When they clanged together They played Billie Holiday's "Stormy Weather," -------------------------------------------------------- Don't know why there's no sun up in the sky Stormy weather Since my man and I ain't together, keeps rainin' all the time
Life is bare, gloom and mis'ry everywhere Stormy weather Just can't get my poorself together, I'm weary all the time So weary all the time When he went away the blues walked in and met me. If he stays away old rockin' chair will get me.
All I do is pray the Lord above will let me walk in the sun once more. Can't go on, ev'ry thing I had is gone Stormy weather
Since my man and I ain't together, keeps rainin' all the time ---------------------------------------
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