There was a post on the Atlanta board concerning ladies having favorite, or "special" clients. Usually, they're the gentlemen that you "click" with and you know that it's a great time together, for whatever reason. My question(s) is, do, or would you see a special client for an appointment "off the clock"? Also, would you consider trying something with them that would not be available to others?
Ciara says I can do whatever I want with her, cuz I'm her favorite. Of course, I've not seen her yet, on or off the clock. That may be what she likes about me.
It really varies from provider to provider. Personally, if I really click with a client and there is a certain level of trust, then yes, he gets a special hall pass.
As for time off the clock. You see a lot of posts about clients falling for providers or vice versa. I think it's important to be sure to draw that line when or if the relationship begins to get blurred between a provider and her client, depending on whatever that specific provider's policies may be. If you happen to be in your favorite client's town, there is nothing wrong with saying 'how about lunch'? Otherwise, I think that it is fairly common to allow more time with a favorite client (when possible, of course) during a session than what was originally agreed upon or paid for. It sort of keeps it professional and special at the same time by allowing the 'free overtime'.
That is my answer, but again, it really depends upon the situation.
Best,
Kate
Here's the scenario: You call your ATF and let her know you're coming to town and would like to see her if she's available. You've seen her several times before. It's your regular appointment that you reserve whenever you see her. Out of the blue, she says, Tell you what, c'mon over and I'll make time for you, and, it won't cost you a thing. Ever happen?
Then, when you get there, she whispers in your ear, Honey, you that special thing you've always wanted from me, well today's your lucky day.
Try not to faint.
yes, this has happened to me. But this is an atf that I saw regularly for over a year and we had what I thot was a strong emotional bond. It got very confused but was also very special.
Would consider something new, yes
time off the clock, no. Not money related in any sense.
Its all keeping things in perspective. If you don't, it's when you get the "I fell in love with my provider " "I fell in love with my client " thread.
I have a couple of providers with whom I consider my relationship "special," but I would never dream of asking for or accepting time off the clock. Sure, we might hang out a little before or after, but this is their business, and we have to recognize it as such. And even then I am extremely careful about their time, which is also very valuable. Do we ask our doctors or auto mechanics to give us free service just because we are their "favorites"?
If you read a little closer, you'll see that I said SHE tells you this one's "on the house"!!! Nowhere did I say that YOU ask for a freebie. You have every intention of giving your usual donation, but she tells you to save it for next time. Maybe she does 2 hours instead of just one for the one hour fee. It has nothing to do with falling for the provider. In fact, by being a multiple repeat client, haven't you "fallen" for her a little bit? If she does this, think you might become a more frequent customer? Ever gotten great service or a great product from a store, etc.? How likely are you to return and give them more business and reccommend them to others based on that experiance? Yes, she makes sure you understand this is a one-time thing. Yes, you use discretion. That may be why she offered it to you in the first place.
I have 2 ATFs that I see a couple of times a month. They are great women, but I would never consider taking $$ out of their pocket. Extra time is a nice gesture, but getting outright freebies, well, then it gets so complicated its pathetic. Besides, if you really want to do something special for them, PAY THEM. I'm sure they could use the money.
...and shouldn't be crossed. no no no no no no no no on the time away from the purpose of our gathering. It causes chemical imbalance to a clear expectation. Learned the hard way.
Special interactions'' come from, and between, special people. Can't define it, but if there's the trust and lust, they're always the pleasurable benefit of special cohesions horizontally!!!
I did meet one guy thru doing massages, and we clicked right away. After the session, we talked about books for an hour and then I drove him back to his hotel. The nxt time he came into town, he asked me to have dinner with him..paid...I had a phenomenal time with him, and went beyond the "massage" and wound up feeling kind of wierd since
I really liked him. The next time he came into town, he called me for dinner, but before I agreed, I told him that I didn't want to see him professionally. We've been hanging out ever since-whenever he's in town. In fact, I am retirng because I don't want to make him feel any doubts about our "friendship"...my idea, not his.
Long and short of it is, if she likes you, she may ask you. If she doesn't ask you, just be glad you can pay for her time, and enjoy what you can.
In one year, my guy was the ONLY one I would ever consider a relationship with, so it's insanely rare. Don't get your hopes up.
Wait and just remember that he met in the context of the hobby. Don't be surprised if he reminds you of that if you ever get together romantically or at the very least don't be surprised.
well, our relationship is nothing if not romantic, and I think we are both intelliegnt enough to see our origins as a plus. We have no reasons to keep things secret from one another.
Your perceptions determine your reality. If you always look at a woman as a provider, she will always see you a "trick"
We look at it as a time when he was lonely, not a lecherous sex addict perv. And he knows I did it to pay for school as the cash was not forthcoming in any other way. People have caused a lot more harm to their fellow humans through other means of making money and getting a little human contact. I think most broad minded, smart people with reasonable self-esteem and emotional maturity can deal.