the last thing you want to worry about is whether or not the alcohol is legal.  You have to assume the hostess will screen so that LE can't find it, and that the invitees will be smart enough to keep their mouths shut about the location before the party happens.

Chances are, if you hook up with one of the ladies, you will not have a problem finding a private room to continue the lap dance.  I don't personally like an audience either, but if you are just meeting and checking her out, it should be OK.  I'll lay odds that she will have her own room in the hotel.

I would suggest that you relax as much as possible before you attend a party like this - you will definitely enjoy it more.

Have fun

I recall that during my college days (middle mezozoic era), it was very common for people to throw a party and charge a couple of bucks at the door to pay for the keg and other goodies.

The cops started to crack down on that however and eventually a system where a large pail with a sign that said "donation: $2" was stuck on it.  Peer pressure did the rest.  Apparently that was legal.

Now as for the rest of the entertainment, I can make no assurances.

(still not a lawyer, nor much of a partyer anymore)

organizers better know who they invite.  Otherwise, LE will be all over it.  Discretion is necessary.