So long story short, I looked at said providers ad, she doesn't show her face (great body though), but a potential client reached out to, and booked her for 4 hrs (@ $750 per hour for new clients) and sent her a deposit. He then asked her for a pic because he didn't know how she looked, which I'm just guessing was a face pic. She then canceled and sent him back his deposit because in her words she "didn't feel safe". Not saying that anything should be done simply because of the need for money, although she does allude to the fact that she needed and was counting on that money because it would have covered a "major bill" (her mortgage). And per her ad at 10-25% of the total cost of the session, her deposit was anywhere from $300 to $750.
My question is for the providers who blur their faces, request deposits or just in general I suppose. One of the reasons ladies say they ask for deposits is to "ensure the safety of both parties", along with ensuring their time isn't wasted. But is the client not showing he is safe and trustworthy by sending the deposit? Is asking for a selfie crossing the line? I understand that just by sending a deposit that doesn't entitle a client to anything other than a guaranteed time slot, let alone a photo, but is it enough to scare a provider off and make her or you cancel?
I think merely asking for a pic wouldn't be a major cause for concern. But I guess it depends how he asked it.
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Of course many if not most escorts don't post face pics for lots of valid reasons. And sending the face pic gets it out in the wild where anything can happen. So I assume the answer in most cases would be no, you can't have a face pic.
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And this brings us to the other hand. With experience in the hobby, most guys would know that providers tend to shun face pics if they aren't already out in the open. So I guess she could conclued that this guy was either inexperienced or a boundary pusher. So in that case her cancellation can make some sense.
All very valid points! If a gentleman sent a deposit and then asked for a face pic, I'd probably cancel too. Yes it shows he's a boundary pusher which isn't a great sign. But also shows that he lacks patience. If you can't wait until our date to see my face, that's not a great sign either. My exception is sometimes I'll send a picture just before we meet up, so my date knows who to look for.
Why not politely say no first and see if he’s fine with it? This detail wasn’t mentioned, but if in her ads or on her web page she lists it as one of her rules, then maybe her immediately cancelling makes a little more sense to me. But men - me included - are like children. You say don’t take a cookie from the cookie jar, yet you still might have to catch us and slap our hands away. This makes us normal, not dangerous.
Actually men should be mature enough to respect that someone is not using their face and respect that he already booked so now you need more advertising? You booked an appointment already so why do you need to see my face if you have already made an appointment to see it in person? Men need to understand we are hurt, robbed, arrested, and more at a rate a million to one man to women and probably the same provider to guest ratio. You expect us to understand that men are like children and try to think like y'all but why not men think like providers who are the biggest targets for LE, serial killers, thieves, stalkers, and rapists? Not to mention people trying to sabotage them. Please fellas before you make any requests think about how defensive a provider must think.
is not going to get the requester what they want.
to me is that the provider asked others on X whether she overreacted.
She didn’t feel safe. No one else is qualified to determine whether or not that was a reasonable reaction for HER, given the circumstances. Based on her X post, this obviously doesn’t happen often, if ever before, to her, that someone requests a face pic after paying a deposit. If she doesn’t want to share face pics before a session, that’s her choice. She shouldn’t have to justify it to others as long as she did what she did and returns the deposit.
Why is this odd?
She had some guilty conscience or felt wrong and was perhaps double guessing herself.
It's a good thing for a seller to have a semblance of conscience.
I don't blame her for not wanting to send an ID quality face picture. As a compromise, she could have used some image editing software to blur out the area around her eyes and to mask any identifying moles, scars, tats, etc. If the client can't accept that, then she doesn't need him.
Personally, if it was just because of the ask for a face pic, than yes this is an overreaction IMO. While I get she may have good reasons not to send a face pic, and that should be respected, she could have said no, explaned herself, and seen if he was reasonable and okay with her answer. But to cancel the appointment and send the money back, just because he asked, when she really needs the money, perhaps is a bit much.
If she is screening him, which I would assume she is, and there are no other issues of concern, she may have just lost a good client who only needed to be told no.
While you all may feel there is no issue for concern when a deposit is given and or someone is screened, there are reasons ladies do not post face pictures. Family, careers, relationships, and stalkers! Also, guys have a tendency to share information and pictures they have no business sharing. I have seen the greatest of guests get exposed for secretly recording and sharing it to the open web (not at my agency) and I've seen clients share information back channel about things that could literally put a girl in danger. They also have been known to brag about having coveted, unpublicized face pictures.
If you have already booked and given a deposit then you have accepted what is available to you publicly as well.... acceptable. Asking for anything not offered up front and so personal is an immediate turn off and alarming in many cases. If it does not say "face pictures available upon request after screening" then do not ask.
OK, the first comment I am going to touch on is deposits. I personally do not take deposits, but they do not ensure the safety of anyone. We as a community need to stop saying this as it is not true for the provider or the client. A deposit saves a time slot only, that is it. Screening is done for safety, not deposits.
I am assuming the reason this gent asked for a selfie after he sent the deposit is that he may have had second thoughts concerning how much money he had sent and wanting to make sure the provider was attractive. Sooo.....he should have thought of this before sending the deposit. And if her pics are blurred I would assume the chances of her sending a pic before meeting would be very close to zero.
So yes, asking for a selfie from a provider who is face out ( like I am) is pushing the line, asking someone who has their face blurred is very much crossing the line. If you are unsure book an hour or 90 min to see if you enjoy the provider and see if you click. Booking a multiple hour date with a provider you have never met to me personally is just silly and will be a giant waste if you don't find her attractive, either her personality or looks.
"Is it enough to scare a provider off" is ineluctably linked to the specific, individualized perspective of each lady. There is no generalizable answer to that question.
I'd love to hear how sending a deposit ensures MY safety.
That said, it obviously ensures to the provider that I'm not a complete time waster, and that's all it does.
As to the provider's reaction, my first thought was that she must be relatively new, and/or has some strong issue with confronting a new client over boundaries, such as real photos, and saying "no" creates an immediate bad start to the encounter. One thing missing is his actual request. She may have read something into the tone.
Or maybe she's a self-conscious butterface and is avoiding the inevitable client disappointment.
Did he cross a line? Well obviously, for her he did. I've never asked for extra pics/selfies, but if I did, I imagine I would do it before sending the deposit. Unlike buying a home, due diligence should end at the deposit, not begin.
"I'd love to hear how sending a deposit ensures MY safety."
It doesn't. It's just a masquerade, a little facade to make it sound like it does. In reality, there is only one side benefitting from a deposit. On average you are losing your safety when providing a deposit to a party that can always theoretically grab it and run with zero consequences.
-- Modified on 4/26/2024 3:08:54 PM
overreaction .. she could have just said , sorry all the photos of me you already have. now if he pushed past that , then yeah cancel. but a simple polite request for a face image is within general boundaries.. besides i have had girls send me casual face photos where they are totally dressed or only show face ... tell me those girls dont have 100 face photos online already.
It is within boundaries in your opinion and for those that complied with sending them. It may feel like a complete invasion of privacy, dangerous, and totally out of line to the next person especially after someone has already made a booking.
He obviously showed he was committed to the date and not a time waster by screening and sending the deposit, which is a substantial amount of money if we're talking about the top end of percentage. Without knowing the entire story, I think some middle ground could have been agreed to. Perhaps scheduling a FaceTime, Whatsapp or Google Duo meeting.
I saw that post and definitely think she overreacted….instead of responding with emotions she could’ve politely declined
Just like I decline when a provider asks for a picture of me..
This is why providers have PPV. I do & if you want to see my face it’s totally available for you to view. I would not cancel. All she had to do was say no. Sending the deposit secures your time booked. I have sent back deposits for bad vibes. If the energy is off I won’t waste my time.
davincib1,
I'm definitely not afraid of showing a full length of me. Email me at [email protected].