I would obviously go back before the deadly STD's and go fucking crazy.  

Specifically: Helen of Troy, Eleanor of Aquitane and 22 yr old Joan Jett.

go fuck Marilyn Monroe before Joe DiMaggio fucks her, and the brag to him..."You motha fuckah, you might have the record of 56 consecutive games with base hits, but I came home before your ass did.. Woo-hooo"

Then I would ride off in the sunset in my long ass Cadillac convertible smoking a pipe..

In search of new and genetically perfected pussy, free of STDs and odd smells.  You know she's clean because she douches with Lestoil.


-- Modified on 12/4/2014 8:48:48 AM

That's woman's work.

They do polish the knob or choke the snake....

She is portrayed as the most beautiful slut of all antiquity, and I absolutely adore sluts.

I would put a few dollars in my pocket and go back a few years when you could get the best piece of ass in town for 50 bucks.

So if you want to go back to "before the deadly STD's" You are going to have to go back a long, long ways.

I'd get the results from some race track and then go back and clean up.  Then I'd come back to the future and fuck my brains out.

But I don't think it's ever going to happen.  Damn!

Ranging from West Nile, malaria, arsenic, typhoid, and others.

Steph xoxo

...and we know how well that turned out for him.

Why so conservative, Mr Fisher? I'd get the results from a Jillion Dollar Lottery and then go back and collect. lol

Would go forward, collect cures to diseases and get a body update (including an auto-heal function), then go backwards and release the cures before known civilization started.  Would also bless the world with indoor plumbing MUCH earlier in time, same for soap, baths, and grooming.

Along the way would roam the world seeking out beauties who've never been documented, and women who can teach me amazing delights.  Would try harems in the Orient and India, and meat Scheherazade.  Later, the Romans would carve my name into the doors of pleasure houses.  I'd want to seduce the women who taught Casanova.

When Helen of Troy's beauty launched a thousand ships, I'd be standing on the waterfront with the women left behind...

Ann Margret during the Bye Bye Birdie era; and same period for Sophia Loren.

I'd go back and find my high school crush who only liked older men, and sweep her off her feet for an evening.  Who knows, maybe I already did that in the future and that's why she liked older men back then?

and certainly don't want to bring on undue attention.

No one pays attention to people who clean up at the track anyway.

-- Modified on 12/4/2014 8:12:11 PM

...robotic women. No worries about STDs or odd smells; they’re programmed for pleasure, too. lol!

Do you remember the Sci-Fi Movie “West World”?

In attached video clip:

First dude says before the session, “I feel funny.”  Second dude says after the session, “Boy, Machines are the servant of man”

Question is (beyond our time), will it ever come to robots serving the same function as providers? (Chilling?

I'd go back to college and not pass up a bunch of the hotties I passed on back then. After that fun was had, I'd make a list of the top historical events I'd like to see and go check out the best of them.

It would be easy to say I'd go put a bullet in Hitler when he was 18 or go setup hidden cameras all over Dealey Plaza before JFK got shot, but I'm not sure we're supposed to redo the past.

After that, I'd buy a ton of stock in Apple when it was under $10. Then come back here and buy everyone a month of top shelf threeways of their choice!

Good point

was delivering newspapers and saw this in a mailbox, and couldn't take my eyes off those shapely hips in this high-cut suit.
This is not one of the iconic SI covers with one of the more popular models - buts it's STILL my favorite.  Great friendly smile, sexy pose, just enjoying a day at the beach.  This issue also had the iconic shot of Cherly Tiegs in a fishnet suit.

So, that could be a fun little day trip.  Make my pubescent fantasy come to life with a trip back to a photo-shoot in 1978.  Just kind of watch at first, then join her in the surf for a fun romp as the sun is going down (and after sending the photo crew back to the hotel - which I assume I have the power to do since, hell, I have access to a fucking time machine!).

Oh, since I'll be in such a good mood after that, I'll also make a couple pit stops - to castrate Bill Cosby and Jerry Sandusky.  That would be a fun and productive day.

...and in the lifetime of most of us.  Think where the technologies of 3-D printing and wearable technology (like Google Glasses) will be in fifteen years.

Think about it.  A gorgeous "woman" who knows what you want and need almost before you do--and who never says, "What about my needs?".

I can't wait....sorry ladies...

We live in the perfect time period, sexually speaking. The Net has created opportunities that the vast majority of us would never get in another time period. We can be rock stars by simply sending an email. I'm not going anywhere, except to a favorite lady's place very soon. One question though. You have a magical time machine that makes all the girls in the past say yes? Well in that case, there were a couple of girls in high school.........

I disagree about no one paying any attention to people who clean up at the track.

I actually had to stop betting at the track through the para mutual ticket lines, and had to find a bookie that would pay "track odds" This was well before simulcast.

The problem is, if you bet any amount of "real money" you fuck up the odds. The smaller the track the worse you fuck up the odds. Even "back in the day" I was limited to tracks that did at least a million a day in handle, in today's world I doubt that you could make any real money at any track without at least about a five million dollar handle.

and if you are winning consistently, you can bet that you will have a couple of dozen people watching your every move. Race tracks are like very small communities with nosy neighbors, the regulars know everything that goes on.