That's when I realized I forgot I had a 4 oz liquid lube in my carry on bag along with a bunch of condoms and cash.  

This dorky looking dude tells me that I need to follow him to a room. I asked, is that's like the VIP room? Do I need to buy a bottle of campaign? Is it full friction? Will there be a happy ending after the rub down?  The look on his face: PRICELESS.  

PS: To my surprise, they let me keep the 4 oz lube.

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sounds like TSA took the condoms and the cash.

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but let you keep the lube? I bet the look are YOUR face was priceless.
 

All he said was they let him keep the lube...

How can they just legally confiscate your cash like that?

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Hope you had a good trip.

Just having fun, though I can't speak for "Epsius."

he emphasized the fact that he kept the lube because it was the only liquid item. I'm sure they didn't take anything. DA tell us.

Now if DA had several bricks of benji's, he might have some 'splaining to do.

I started reading responses from bottom up after reading DA's post..lol

Sound like seat backs and tray tables weren’t the only things in an upright position.

and it's actually legal on international flights as well, as  long as you declare it of course.

I've personally been searched while carrying upwards of fifty grand on me with out a problem.

Similar thing happened on one of my airport screenings...forgot the condoms in my back pocket and got the invitation for further inspection.  I reached back as asked to empty that pocket and out came the 6 pack.  Got an eye roll and smile from the TSA guy and was waved o

Remove one of the condoms from it's wrapper, place the cash inside of the condom, lubricate the condom, and find an orifice in witch to stash your cash?

So apparently these guys are either hobby / sex friendly or mile high club friendly since they let me take the 4oz lube on the plane.

Some of these dudes have zero sense of humor.

I am always forgetting to take the one quart plastic bag out, or the lap top, or some other damn thing.

Never got hauled off to the little office, but some day for sure I will be.

There's just too much shit to remember to do and I'm already sleep deprived or otherwise majorly distracted.

I swear to God I wish I had the luxury of time so I could just take a train.

No cash or condom confiscated.  I don't bring bricks of cash around.

I can always visit the ATM at the destination city and take cash from there so what would be the point trying to hide it up my ass?

First leg,  the screener didn't catch it be on my way back they caught it.  I simply forgot I had it in there so I had to spend money to get that mailed to me. Sometimes knives do get past their rigid screening and it's possible to bring them onto the plane.

which has very high security - more than the airport lol -  and the troopies that guard the entry way and handle security look like they were sourced from Academi (formerly Blackwater....)

I had a pack of condoms on me - which triggered the scanner.....

the wand search located the pack of condoms -  

I thought that the security guy was pretty clever -

he said -

"I do hope you are not intending to use those here sir -  people come here to *get* screwed".....

bravo.....

Maybe they are hobby friendly?  lol

so you prefer doggie?

so you won't be accosted by an TSA agent.

... or just for shits and giggles.

 

 

Those Sheriff Deputies can be humorous at times. This sounds like one of those times.

Just don't drive through Tennessee with a lot of cash.  

 
http://www.offthegridnews.com/2013/12/26/tennessee-police-under-investigation-for-taking-cash-from-citizens/

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That was a disheartening article.  Thanks for posting.  Police for profit.  I have heard about this in Louisiana as well.  Just like pirates on the high seas.  Legalize drugs and the need for a police state goes away.

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Traveling with a "friend" and anticipating a lot of sex in 4 days... I like to be spontaneous and had a baggie of condoms, lubes and a small toy in my carryon... The TSA guy stopped me not because of that, but, because I had another bag of airline apporved toiletries I just bought from CVS not in a quart sized baggie. He made me go off to the side and attempt to sort and discard what would fit in the quart size bag. Well, when I pulled out my "personal items" and pleaded with him, that they couldn't all fit in the quart sized bag and I truly needed it all, he let me take all of my stuff and go. I think the TSA wants to get laid too, its not their fault they have federal regulations to uphold. LOL!  

The flip side is on the return flight, I got detained in the country we traveled to, they thought I looked like a native trying to sneak out and possibly smuggling drugs in my ass. Almost missed the damn flight I was searched and questioned extensively! With all their searching, they neglected the bottle of Sprite I had in bottom of my purse I grabbed leaving the hotel. I am such a threat! LOL!

But can I not sit on a strap on and still be straight as an arrow !!

I lived in Biloxi for a while and it became rather obvious that "driving while Mexican" was a standard moving violation, almost every week I would see something in the newspaper about drugs being confiscated during a "routine" traffic stop,  but every one arrested was hispanic and the reason cited for pulling them over was always an "illegal lane change" I just wonder how many innocent citizens were harassed by these redneck cops simply for "meeting the profile"???

Bad girl!  

Yeah I agree tsa seems to understand that we need to get laid. I'm convinced of that after they allowed the lube when for everything else only roughly 3oz is the max limit.  

When I went to El Salvador,  they didn't have any x-ray or bomb scanners it was all hand checked.  The stupid part was that it's a connecting flight and they weren't even sure about the liquor I bought at the duty free shop at the departure city.  Fuckers kept bitching about liquid not allowed even though the bag was in a duty free bag with the receipt we ended up checking it in.  Not a good idea to buy liquor when there are connecting flights

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