what do you ladies think about when you make more money than your hubby or boyfriend? i live with my boyfriend and he knows what i do for a living...but when we pay bills i always seem to pay more because i earn more..i am starting to think i should move out and live alone..i'm spending more money now...than when i lived alone...providers please give me your advice...thanks
Marry for love ya never have money.. Marry for money ya never have love... Same goes with a boyfriend...
Is he a parasite ? I had one of those once. Did you think about this before you two moved in together ?
Whose bills are you paying? household bills?
Or debts/bills hes racked up?
When I was married, my ex made more money that I (3x to be precised). We are both professionals and made 6 figures. Believe it or not - this created tension and friction. and no, she was not a provider, (as seinfeld would say, "not that there is anything wrong with that!"), just we are lucky with jobs and education.
So, your words, marry for love - ya never have money, marry for money ya never have love.... struck a cord and is probably true for most unless you happen to be a blond from texas named Smith! lol, I crack me up!
I have learned from talking to others that the best men always pull their own load. You are his sugar mama right now and he is using you. Women are the ones who have the children and take care of them for the most part. In the animal kingdom, males always provide for the family. Sooner or later, he will think about how much he has spent on you and that will determine your worth to him.
"In the animal kingdom, males always provide for the family"??? Wonder what Steve Irwin would say to that? No, they don't !! Actually in most instances the male disappears after the deed is done!
I also have to take exception to the thought that just because the male earns less - that you should abandon him.... Suppose the male earns 200K per year and the female earns 500K!"? should she leave him!?
It's not if she SHOULD move out or not. It's that she probably will move out. Most women will have real difficulty respecting a man who makes less than they do, especially if it appears to be a lifetime pattern. That's just another one of those things about how we are brought up.
Not a provider (if only I could get paid for it, I would SO love my job), but...
It sounds like you don't respect him. If he makes a good living, but isn't rich, then you should consider your situation. Think of the other extremes. He could be a total loser, or he might make millions. If it's the later, he might not respect you. Of course, he might actually be a loser. That's all for you to decide. But if he's in the middle somewhere, you might rethink things. That kind of guy will only keep making more money, while a provider's income is likely going to peak early and decline from there.
From the tone of your post, your best bet is to move out.
It sure seems to me that all these issues should have been covered up front. Your not married and that would be different, where the one making the most money should pay the most bills.
50-50 is the norm, in move in relationships. If he is raking up expenses in other ways not discussed that is also different.
COMMUNICATION !!
If you are a liberal then income redistribution to those less fortunate like boyfriend is normal. If you are conservative, get out. No need for you to subsidize a boyfriend
Just don't be surprised if when you quit providing and your income drops some guy may have the same attitude and kick your shallow ass to the curb. Just a thought. Obviously you have no feelings for him, in which case you should kick him to the curb. Just remember, if you truly want equality, this is the same thing men have been going through since the beginning of pussy.
Only you know the dynamic of your relationship. Do you think he's intentionally taking advantage of you? Do you not respect him because he can't pull his own weight? Do you not really love him? It sounds to me as if you're using the money issue as an excuse to get out of a relationship that you just don't care about.
If the relationship were strong, I doubt you would care so much about the money. There are more important things to contribute to a relationship, such as companionship, emotional support, etc. Is he poor in these things as well?
IMO, relationships should be about sharing which isn't the same thing as bartering. It's not about working a fair deal. It's about giving of yourself freely because you trust your partner is doing the same.
I don't think the real issue is the money. It's whether or not you think the relationship is worth the effort you'll have to put into it to make it work.
That comment worries me. How could that be? Sharing the some home and resources should reduce your overall expenses.
My simple solution to this sort of problem: to maintain my own household and expect him to do the same. We can date and spend time together, but he needs to remain self-sufficient, as do I. It's less complicated and allows us to manage our own lives as we see fit.
Abbey Marie
DOES HE MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU? IF THE SITUATION WERE REVERSED, WOULD YOU STILL BE WITH HIM BECAUSE HE MADE MORE MONEY THAN YOU? LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE. IF YOU WANT TO KNOW THE FULL STORY, READ THE BOOK, NOT THE PAGE.
Most of your clients are married and earn more money and pay most of the bills in their households. Maybe we should all leave...