In dealing with gentlemen and talking to fellow providers, several situations come up and I would like some input for myself and others on how to best deal with the following situations.
1. In the middle of a session a gentleman suddenly requests F/S without a cover
2. A gentleman running a little long when you have another appointment coming or prior engagement to attend
3. Hickies, bite marks and/or scratches that were unwelcomed.
4. Lateness (more than 15 minutes) without a phone call
Thanks everyone,
Vanica
First request: he has to go, no bb.
Second/Fourth request:Happen to me before, I was pissed having to wait 30 min pass my time. Rude
Third: you are not my BF quit sucking on my neck. Ok I wouldn't say that but it must be some good sex if I am sucking on your neck.
when making appts, ask clients to give you a call if for whatever reason they're running late or need to cancel. if you have a website, you might put that on your website also.
also, i'm not going to mention any groups. but, see if you can find a pattern to the ones that are showing up late.
1. Politely decline. If he asks again or acts fishy, show him the door.
2. Explain that although he's rocking your world (i.e., lie), you have to wrap up in a few minutes because we're beginning to run late for a prior engagement.
3. Stop him in the act. Explain that you neither enjoy nor can afford to have marks on your body. If you don't notice until after the session, lay down the law before your next session with him.
4. Hard to advise on this one. If you don't have another engagement closely thereafter, you may want to go through with the full session. Or, you could politely tell him that you still need to wrap up at the same time and he can either accept the abbreviated session or move on.
be scheduling appointments so close together that you end up with a traffic jam if one gentleman is running "a little late."
I actually schedule all my appointments at LEAST one hour apart, but have had gentlemen lollygag into 1 hour and 45mins. And I have more had a problem with this when I had somewhere to be (personal engagement).
when you reach past an hour.
In #2 I was speaking of those who run over into 1hr 30mins and 1hr, 45mins. Not just 15 minutes here and there. When I gentleman runs that long over (30 or more mins), should be charged more?
1. Just say know - he may ask, but you can say no. I sometimes ask for types of things, but if lady says she does not do that, no big deal,
2. Tell Him - He may be like me - blind without glasses and unable to see a clock, just give at least 5-10 minutes warning so there is time to finish at least once, and to shower/dress.
But unless he is staying very much over, that does seem to be to small an interval between.
3. Say no, don't see, stop session. I agree, that is unwarranted.
4. If he shows up, he should have called first if late. If he doesn't show up, don't see him again unless he makes you whole (i.e. offers to pay to compensate). But understand sometimes that happens - he may be caught at work in a meeting with customer/boss that was not planned or went way over - beleive me, you can't just get up and run get your cell phone and run outside to make aprivate call. Whether you charge him is up to you (my experience is most ladies don't for regulars), and if he does not at least offer, you don't have to see him again.
Any guy doing 1 or 3 isn't a gentleman.
1. Just say, "No." The customer is not always right. (But lots of people figure there is no harm in asking, since the worst that will happen is they’ll get a "No." I’m speaking of things in general, not uncovered FS in particular.) Plan ahead; find a way to say it gracefully.
2. Sounds like you need to schedule differently. Don’t schedule clients so close together. Or if it is something else, don’t schedule a client a short time before the other engagement.
3. If you realize it at the time it is occurring, put a halt to it. Again, "No," can be said gracefully. If you discover it afterward, e.g. scratches, discuss it before the next appointment with him. Perhaps he was unaware of what he was doing. Especially if you were really great! 
4. There could be perfectly valid reasons for that. I would play it by ear, see how apologetic he is, what his explanation is, etc. If there seems to be no remorse, after the session, gracefully lay out your expectations in case he unavoidably runs late. Some people think they are on time if they’re no more than 15 minutes late. If he is uncaring after hearing your expectations, simply don’t see him again. I will mention that I have had providers run 45 minutes to 2 hours late, so it runs both ways.
I think some missed what I was asking. I was trying to find the best and most politically correct way to handle each situation. Like #1(Request for F/S with no cover), the answer will always be no, but short of saying "Hell no, get out", what might be the most graceful, classy way you would expect a lady to handle such a situation and the other situations as well.
And for #2 (Running over on time), I am speaking of those who run 30+ minutes over.
Thanks,
Vanica
I ain't no provider LOL
but
1.No way, Jose.
2.I don't know, let the man finish.
3.Hey you don't send him home with evidence.
4.Sorry dude, you lost your turn.
All these questions really deliberate your presence on the web..
I dont know what that is , there isnt a link for you on this post.. so I really cannot tell you further.
We all get late people.. It happens.. Its on my site.. that if your appt is at 1- and you get to my place at 1:10.. your appt still ends at two.. Of course id never take the entire gift.
Im really not much of a stickler...sometimes this rule doesnt take place depending on the day.
As for BB? That answer is apparent " sorry I dont do that"
Bite marks hickies ? Are you advertising on the spca site ? that is absurd.Again, it is all about your web presence
If an appointment is more than late and you only have 30 minutes or less til your next call... explain to him at the door ( your appt was at 1.. it is now 1:30, I have a dental appt at 2:15.. and have to leave here at 2- maybe another day. He has no one to be angry with but himself.. If he chooses not to see you again, do you really want that stress?
ask them to call if they're running late when you schedule them.
I agree with Cierra to a degree, your web presence is the strongest asset you have in determining what type of clients contact you. Another consideration is WHERE you advertise.
If you care to PM me or share your weblink I'd be happy to offer some constructive criticsm of the presentation and possible links to your experiences.
Also worth noting is that a new lady is going to have more than her fair share of "gents" who ain't as those men are predatory in nature, looking for ladies who do not know better and/or have not found and established their boundaries yet.
1. "NO, sweetie." Are you crazy?!?
I also agree that anyone who asks, keep your eye on them. Do not turn your back to where you will not notice funny business with the hat.
2. You can tell the appointment is running long? Explain that you have a prior engagement and let him know this is "last call". Try to do this near the end of the appointment so that you are not in a position of having to boot him out the door abruptly.
3. Marks... usually I end up leaving these on myself LOL! Ditto - if you notice during explain it is not acceptable, if you notice later make sure he knows before you see him again.
4. Let him know that if he is running late he needs to call. It is your decision based on your schedule -
either let him know you have already "blown out the candles" and are on your way home, or that you are "fortunately able to still see him, this time."
Good luck, remember the rules of dog training -
be direct,
be repetitive,
be sincere.
xoxo,
Sola
1. requests F/S without a cover: kick him out of the room.
2. running late: You gotta go. Now.
3. Hickies, bite marks and/or scratches: that costs extra. No kidding.
4. Lateness: call, if no reply then leave a message that you have
another engagement. I think in NYC you are allowed 10 min, and then it is understood that you have NO OBLIGATION to stay.
wooooosh!.....like the speed of sound...lol
Thanks for staying all those times.
Cheers!
If the professor does not show in 15 or 20 minutes, we are gone..
Perhaps I asked the questions without enough clarification.
All, of the above instances are unacceptable or unwanted behaviors. I was more so looking for the most graceful and policitically correct way to handle each, without saying straight out "Hell no. Get the F out!" I know some guys try their hand, so how do you handle it without yelling, being rude and remaining somewhat professional?
Frankly, I think "Get the f--- out" is the perfect response, which proves, once again, that one's first instinct is usually on target.
1. "No sweetie, I don’t do that." That’s both gracious and direct and that’s all that’s needed. If he persists, questions why or whatever, don’t lower yourself to arguing. Merely say, "We’ll have a great time with the cover. Do you want to tango, or do you wanna go home?" And as someone else pointed out, keep your eye on him so the cover stays on.
2. Tell him at the very beginning, "To be fair to you, I should tell you that I have to leave promptly at ____ because of a dental appointment." Then don’t wait until the last minute for the reminder, so there will be less pressure. I’m not sure what is right, 10 minutes, 15 minutes, whatever. You could say, "You know I gotta leave in 15 minutes, sweetie; let’s make the most of our time together."
3. If the guy goes to give you a hickie, just say, "Uh, uh, none of that, please. The only souvenir I want, dear, is sweet memories!" If he starts scratching (probably unknowingly), just say, "Easy there big guy [or muscle man or strong man or whatever], let’s not scratch up tender ole me." If he does it again, "Hey, hey, no hickies [or scratches] remember?" If you discover scratches afterward, warn him about it when he calls you the next time. If he's apologetic, all is well. Wouldn't hurt to mention it with a grin when you meet, "No scratches during the frenzy today, remember?"
4. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. As someone said, clarify expections on your web site. I would add, reinforce it in your contacts prior to meeting. "If you run more than ___ minutes late, I need to know. If I don’t hear from you I will take it you’ve changed your mind and I’ll be leaving." I’ve used similar expressions for people who delayed paying deposits on orders, on providers who habitually late, etc.
It’s the old, if you don’t act, I’ll take that to mean ____. Very effective because you’ve told them what it means ahead of time. It’s up to them to get with the program. If they don’t they’ve got no one to blame but themselves. If they are too late, but your are still there for the next client, just don’t open the door. When they call you on the cell, "Oh you’re there now. Sorry, since you didn’t call, I figured I’d leave. Next time give a call." Of course it's up to you whether there's a next time.
In all of this, communication ahead of time sets expectations. Don’t be afraid to be direct. Be sweet, but just say it. Come up with your lines ahead of time, then you’ll be ready when the time comes.
Humor helps disarm tough customers. I heard how one salesperson handled it when a difficult customer returned. With a grin, he whacked him on the arm with the catalog he was getting ready to give his wife and said, "I remember you -- you’re a trouble maker!" Kind of surprised him and tickled his wife. He behaved himself better that time, too.
-- Modified on 2/26/2005 9:35:26 PM
incorrect behaviors? Just tell them "Get the F**k out?". Period.
but ask what should a hobbyist do when a provider is guilty of the same?
1.) If she tries to make you do BBFS you tell her no, and refuse to insert anything until it's covered.
2.) If you're finished and she isn't well, you just let her know you have another appointment and that she either gets done in the next 10 to 15 mins. or she'll have to finish after you leave.
3.) Tell her you're not into vampyrism, so no sucking the blood through your skin, and you don't like scratches, so if she can't control herself, you'll just have to make her wear leather work gloves.
4.) Pretty much the same as the answers given to the original poster.
As has been pointed out we all have to set our personal standards and rules regarding these problems. Where I have had each of these happen this is how I handled it.
1. Feller said he does not like rubbers or a couple of others whom tended to loose the erection when wearing them. As I told them think seriously do you realy want to take that sort of risk? After all if I am prone to say yes with you whom is to say I am not saying yes to that same question with every gentleman I see. When we were younger if you got a STD a shot few pills etc and you were ok. Now it can kill you, is that something you want to take home to your significant other? There are things out today you cannot see. Then think of other consequences I am sure that most ladies have enough sence to use an alternative form of birth control beyond condoms, however what if a girl is not using anything else? condoms have been known to rupture and bareback in and of it's self....... Are you sure you want to risk paying child support for the next 19 yrs and risk loosing your family etc. in the process?
I then suggest that if it is a sensation thing or in the instance of the gentlemen whom loose erections when the cover is applied, I suggest that if they have not tried them before I do have female condoms and thus far the gentlemen with whom I have used them have found the sensations great. Why don't we try that and you can decide if you like those.
2. First I have never scheduled sessions less than 2 hrs apart as I like to have time to shower freshen up room etc and relax a bit. I also have a system where when I arive and after leave I phone a friend whom knows where I keep all info on my schedules. Because I frankly have absolutly no sence of time I have started setting the alarm on my cell phone to go off about 15 minutes after the appointment was to end as a reminder. If I do not phone my friend before 30 minutes after scheduled end I recieve a phone call we have code word I use to let him know all is well if not......
3. A simple take it easy sweety has always worked for me.
4. I always ask that if running late to please call me and let me know just as I do the same in respect for the client. If he does not call withen reasonable time then I have no problems with shrugging my shoulders and leaving to fill my spare time with something else I enjoy. If he does not later call and explain, offer to compensate for the cancelation etc, I just put him on my deadbeat list. I think we all know that from time to time life throws a curve ball, the SO shows up at office wanting to spend special time with you at lunch, auto accidents, boss springs new project that is due in few hrs at last minute, child sick, the list can go on as long as life does. But not having the courtesy to touch base once the crisis is past is down right rude thus equivelent to deadbeat.
5. Yes I know there were only 4 but....... I also know that I may have some of those same life happenings stated in #4 I feel that not only do I have obligation to contact the gentleman ASAP but I also normaly offer a discount if/when he reschedules.
1. In the middle of a session a gentleman suddenly requests F/S without a cover: Oh hell no not going to happen with me you dont know where hes been he doesnt know where you have been, I have had a couple try this one me. I noticed that some men say they cant get off with a condom, oh well its not the providers falt and there other ways of getting off.
2. A gentleman running a little long when you have another appointment coming or prior engagement to attend: I usualy let them know that i am on a tight schedule and and to have time to get cleaned up before the next meeting. Or plainly tell him that if he wants more time with you he knows the drill or should.
3. Hickies, bite marks and/or scratches that were unwelcomed. That should be a slap in the face right there..lol We respect that the men probably dont want to go home to their s/o with marks on them so they should respect us with that.
4. Lateness (more than 15 minutes) without a phone call: If im stitting there waiting for 15 min without a phone call im starting to think that hes standing me up, ya pretty much everyones got a cell phone now days and theres no reason why they cant call. I know i have been late to a couple of appointments but i always call to let them know why and that i will be there soon. Its just common curtisy.
" here dear, I have some Supra Trojans that are polyurethane"
*wink*
That always gets their goat !
Moral to the story:
Always be prepared