A provider with otherwise great reviews "no showed" on me the other day, wasting about 2 1/2 hours of my time.
I still want to see her, but want to know if it was something I did wrong that day that caused the no-show.
Few days before the appt, gave her reference, offered work number to verify, she declined, seemed to be satisfied with knowledge of our mutual friend.
Confirmed 1 hour before the appointment, everything seemed fine during our phone call, got the location, drove there, arrived 20 minutes early.
waited in car, called exactly at appointed time -- NO ANSWER. called every 1-2 minutes for about 10 minutes.. NO ANSWER.
called every 5 minutes, then 10 minutes. Left 3 voice messages and a page over the course of 1 hour 40 minutes waiting IN MY CAR past the appointed time. NO ANSWER.
Left her a message at the end saying I had to leave, since i couldn't wait any longer in my car without even hearing a response of something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I'm running late etc. etc, wait a little while"
Is there something I should've done? Not called that oftern after the appointed time? what is the correct lenght of time to wait if you suspect a "no=show"? (I've never had a no-show incall before)
appreciate constructive help!!
*** OH YEAH.... you knwo what is even funnier??? A few days before the meeting, I'd asked her to let me know ASAP if she had a change in plans, since I was taking a day off from work to see her. I told her I was concerned that I would end up wasting a whole day, and she said "Don't worry, I wouldn't do that to you"
-- Modified on 10/28/2005 7:14:07 PM
I had a provider stand me also. I had cleared the reference check and checked into the hotel. She never showed up. Thank goodness for the shopping list for a replacement. If a provider does not show I will never ever book her. I found out later on that she was having some issues with a guy who was promising to leave his wife trying to get free pussy.
The provider lost out big because I book at least 3 appointments or more if the provider is good.
if a person in any situation makes an appointment, and then blows it without contact or explanation, they are (a) dead/maimed, (b) in custody, or (c) an a**hole who, given half a chance, will do this to you again.
Which one do you bet on? (c) is the correct answer. Forget it & move on, but 1st you need to flog yourself for EVEN THINKING that it's somehow your fault.
I'm gonna start online therapy sessions, @ $100/paragraph. Get out your paypal.
Popular providers can be dicey. I see three reasons why you need to chalk it up to experience. First, she may not need the money; popular providers make a nice living. Second, she is either habitually late or a poor planner or both. Third, she is a nut job and saved you some hard earned money. Learn to say next. If you have never seen her, then all you have to go on is a picture and some reviews. Believe only half of what you read as you can only experience this person in real time and she may not like you and give you the same treatment as the last guy. Remember, her business is about NEXT! Learn that.
i have been stood up twice. the first time the girl was 30 minutes away...then she didn't answer her phone and later went straight to voicemail. The other just no showed and never called or responded to anything. She later (3 weeks)gave me a story about her daughter being sick. I recently found out it was because of a boyfriend! Either way they both have lost my respect and I won't be trying again. There are too many great providers out there that won't do this or AT LEAST call and tell you some story. They can just tell me they are tired...anything would be better than just ignoring someone.
I just think it is a lack of respect for someones time and not cool at all.
I believe that 30 minutes is the appropriate amount of time to wait when you suspect a no show. I've taken that approach, and I think that a number of escorts do the same in the case of client no shows.
I doubt that you did anything wrong. Calling that many times is probably excessive, but I've been in your position, so I know the feeling.
If the escort has not contacted you to explain why she missed your appointment, I would look elsewhere. The odds of her missing your next appointment are very high, I have found.
I cannot think of anything more unprofessional or disrespectful than being stood up. Unless she was in a car accident or something similar (God forbid) there is no excuse for this type of behavior.
Why would you want to see her? Isn't part of the experience with a provider how they make you feel emotionally?
Best,
Kate
I had a no-show for my "first reference" provider. I had touched base with her a few hours prior to our appt. and adjusted our scheduled appt. time to accomodate her.
She then no-showed. I called, no answer - left one message asking what was up.
I was actually concerned that in her zest for ensuring she keep her "on time" rating, she was in a car accident or something.
My suggestion to professor curious is to note her no-show on your local board; if you feel you have enough "weight" to do so credibly. If it angers her and she no longer wants to meet with you, well, then, you just got a good insight into her attitude and perspective of the hobby.
Slamming her on a local board usually backfires. A host of white knights will attack him for not taking care of it back channel. Seen it happen many times.
I don't disagree that "slamming" a person will get the white nights out. It is all about delivery, you know?
I could see a post something like:
"I had an appt. with xxxxx and she missed it [note: do NOT use "no-show"], I haven't been able to reach her over the last xxxx days to make sure she is OK and to see what happened [note: place "she is OK prior to your need to figure out what happened"]. Has anybody heard from her since xxx [note: insert day of schedule appt].?"
People will read between the lines here.
Now, the WK's may step in with "she is havinng personal problems, or ...." other stuff. The response to those statements can then be more direct.
"OK, I understand problems come up time to time, but in my experience it is correct to notify people when they will not be able to keep a meeting appt., is that not what is normally done in the hobby?"
Or his post could be left hanging and orphaned to die a horrible death and he may never know what happened.
FWIW.
The above suggestion comes without any warranty either express or implied. Any damages real or otherwise are the sole responsibility of the person following this suggestion. Thor18, and its subsidiaries (also known as aliases) will not be held responsible. 
I called to confirm the day of the appointment, everything was set but when I called to say, "I'm here, what's the room #?" there was no answer. I waited 5 minutes & called again, no answer. I called again at 15 & 30 minuites after & left a message, again with no response whatsoever. Finally, an hour after my scheduled appointment, which is when my appointment would've been over, I called & left another message simply saying, "I'm not sure what may have happened, but I would appreciate a call back to let me know that you're at least all-right, even if, for some reason, you decided to not see me, I'd really appreciate it."
About 5 hours later she finally called me back to apologize. Turns out that she took some sinus medication that made her drowsy. She was very apologetic & seemed sincere & we talked for about 45 minutes. She was leaving town the next day but promised to make it up to me when she's back in NY.
I'm just glad that I didn't freak-out on the phone when I was leaving a message. We have spoken & emailed back & forth since then and now I'm REALLY looking forward to her return visit. I guess the moral of this boring story is that strange things do happen from time to time. If you really want to see her despite what happened, listen to her reason for "no showing" & take it from there.
Ok, so you accepted her "reason," but a) sinus medication may make you drowsy, but bad manners is what sucks about this business and b)she should have had the decency to call off the date if she was not feeling well.
You're right, she should've called me & it's entirely possible that she was bullshitting! Maybe she didn't have the decency to call off the date & was just blowing me off...she's a Porn Star, I guess she can live w/o my 1k?
Maybe it was because of my "message of concern" that she even called me back at all? I guess my attempted point to the original poster was that he shouldn't give up on seeing this provider...yet.
You've never taken sinus medication to help with a sinus headache? I get bad sinus headaches quite a bit and sinus medications are the only thing that relieve the pressure. A headache that is curable is not a real cause to call off an appointment, at least not to many ladies and gents.
Also, have you never slept through a phone call? Sinus meds do have a side effect of drowsiness. Combine that with generally being a little tired, and you have the recipe for sleeping right through the phone call.
It just seems you were being awfully judgemental!
Yes... BB, maybe, but he called to confirmed the appointment only hours before. Again, if she is tired or not feeling well, just call it off. In life and in the hobby, when will we learn that being civil is one the first things that leads to the best results. She tells him that she tired or not feeling well, then he may go away a bit hornier, but not wondering if he did something or worse, something happened to her. Ever waited for someone who was not coming and never told you a damn thing?
Have I ever waited for someone who didn't show and didn't tell me why? Yes, and NOT in the hobby but in civvie life, and on more than one occasion.
As for her not feeling well, she may have been fine just a few hours prior. I suffer from sinus headaches, and they usually come out of the blue, with no warning and painful, sudden onset. It's awful, but easily to take care of and within maybe 30 minutes they are gone - IF I take a decent sinus medication.
I'm not defending the position of the lady, but trying to see both sides of the story. Being jaded one way or the other just skews your perception.
Glad to see that I'm not the only one. I've had three no shows. Once by some one I had already seen twice and had wonderful times, each. Another by a provider I had seen once and had a great time. She had cancelled a previous meetining because of Aunt Flo and this was to be a make it up to you session. I guess it was. The third time I had set up a meeting, but the gal never called me back or returned a call. A fourth time the provider was, in fact, in a car accident, their cell phone got destroyed, but they called me a few days later to my relief. We still get together often.
and of course stuff happens. But nothing excuses failure to make a call ASAP, like as soon as you're out of custody.
Yeah... I would REALLY really just want to know the reason (if any) why she no-showed on me.
I don't think it's because she was LE-worried, since my reference was great (and she was the one who declined to verify me at work)
I was just worried that my excessive calling made her freak out.. but one point I didn't mention is that the phone number I reached her at was answered by different women (provider? screeners?) at different days of the week. So, I didn't know if she had my number "programmed" in her personal cell phone -- basically I didn't even know what her phone situation was.
So, I'm even wondering if she maybe spied me sitting in my car and found me not attractive enough or whatever?!???
Again, just a call to say " i can't see you " would've been better than having me sit in my car for 90 minutes.
Lastly, I do hope she's OK (and not hurt/dead) or whatever, but I'm afraid to call her now (using my cell phone number, cause her number doesn't accept blocked calls) she might think I'm a stalker.
All this is pretty silly to me. If you've ever had an atf then you know exactly what happened. She's popular and doesn't need to see everyone she books. She may no show for a hundred reasons and she doesn't care about you because you're just another guy and there are tons of us who want to see her. The part I don't get is why people are so reluctant to say who the provider is. One of the reasons that they no show is because nothing bad happens. They don't care about the fee because there is always some other guy. They would be worried about their reputation because it affects future business, like a bad review. I've seen no show reviews, so maybe TER is accepting these now. But since most hobbyists won't say the name of these no show artists, then this will continue. We've got to share info, guys, if we want to have an impact!
True!
Good providers care about their hobbyists, and will often go to great lengths on their local board to clear up the situation.
If they don't do that, I'd say feel free to flag their ad or mention their name as a possible flake/problem. Yes, stuff does come up, BUT, those who are serious (& popular) providers come through time & again.