This is something I've read many times on these boards and saw tonight in the chat room and I just don't get it. Last week I was in the music section of Barnes & Noble and saw a very beautiful woman perusing the lastest CD releases. I approached her, engaged in a pleasant conversation, and we exchanged business cards. Turns out she is a former model who now is the editor of a high end interior decorating magazine and is 32 years old (I am in my late 40's). I later called and we went out over the weekend. We went to a casual, but still nice, French cafe then went to a movie. She came home with me and spent the night and we engaged in sex four times during the night and in the morning. Now I'm not saying that I met my 'soul mate' but I did spend a great and memorable time with a very alluring and sexy woman.
Dinner cost $100, the movie cost $20, parking was $10. The same time spent with a well reviewed provider would have probably cost me thousands of dollars. So just how is seeing a provider cheaper?
I do understand that for some it is difficult to approach an attractive woman socially and the knowledge that seeing a provider is a 'sure thing' makes the price well worth it on some occasians--but cheaper?. I just don't see it.
Now I have never been married and can see how in the long run that can be a more expensive proposition when you are talking about half your net worth, but when speaking of just dating, seeing providers has to be much more expensive.
Explain to me how I'm wrong.
This happens every time you get horny? Most dates don't wind up in the sack--long-term investment of time and expense. I always figured three dates before scoring, on avg.
1- you dont have to play games with a provider- you know why you are there- she knows why you are there-
2- we dont want 100 dollar dinners one night, and the 2nd night and the 3rd night
3- 2 months later when you piss us off we wont stalk you at your work- call you 8 times a day and be clingy
4- we dont want you to buy us a house.. pay a mortgage or buy us a new car and spend your life with 3 kids you had simply to live the American Dream ( nightmare)
5- one day we wont take your house, your new cars, your three kids and leave you rendered useless and broke to where you wont even remember what your net worth once was 
This is the word of Ciara !
-- Modified on 4/28/2005 5:54:05 PM
At the costs I mentioned, even three dates before 'scoring' would add up to $390--less than the 1 hour rate of many providers.
As far as 'does this happen everytime I get horny', no--but I doubt everyone sees a provider everytime they get horny.
-- Modified on 4/28/2005 6:03:01 PM
Again, the theme was 'dating', no mention was made of mortgages, kids or cars. I did acknowledge that marriage can be more expensive in the long run. I was talking about casual dating.
sleep with you right away or stay the whole night. You got lucky. In the real world how often has this happened to you? If often then go for it. Like what was said earlier providers won't give you headaches later. You don't have to call us. We won't call you. It is no strings fun .
Don't know if 'most' civies would or would not spend the night but I will say this was not the first time this kind of thing has happened for me. As far as me getting 'lucky', I would differ with that assumption. I made the effort to approach her. Getting 'lucky' would have been if she had just come to me and said 'I want to sleep with you'.
You said it all so that I didn't have to and then endure MrsSelfDistruct's warm & fuzzy, touchie-feelie defense of those lying, self-righteous, hypocrite civvie bitches.
Cm.
Lets get back to real life now and our regularly scheduled program
There most certainly is.
BTW, I'm glad I was able to afford you not one but two chances to post links to your website.
Nice to see this point of view for a change. While I think your story would not translate so easily to many men, depending on their circumstances or their "market value" (I have been single long enough to know the meaning of that term, trust me), every time that line is made in a post, it just makes me shake my head, because it is such a limited view of the situation.
The great thing about "paying" is that you know up front what you are there for, doing, and getting, and how good she is at it (if her reviews are accurate), and sometimes this is a great thing and all that is needed, or is satisfactory for that moment...or better than nothing.
The great thing about "dating" is that it is about more than physical exchange for monetary exchange, you can potentially find something deeper and lasting, and you can explore a plethora of things that you would seldom be able to with a provider, even if you had oodles of money (which most of us don't), because you usually won't get into their "real" life. I know not doing these things may have an appeal to many men, but to myself and others, seeing providers is simply a bandage and something to tide us over until we can be someplace more fulfilling on a lasting basis.
I am more grateful than I could possibly express to some of the providers I have met, but I have never felt it was a substitute for dating and for really being with someone. I would think anyone who did would need to have a lot of money and some serious relationship issues.
But I am a hopeless romantic, so what else would you expect?
BTW, have you hobbied?
If you are VIP, PM me sometime. Curious about some things. If not, e-mail is [email protected]
With over 25 years of being mass rejected by women for dances, friendship, dates, and romance, I will stick with the sure thing. The financial price is significantly less than either the emotional or psychological prices I've been forced to pay in my life.
If you want someone to spend your like with, someone who really cares and perhaps loves you and someone you can love back, someone you can have children with, grow old with, then providers are not the answer.
If you just way to have some good old dirty fun, then by all means providers are a good alternative.
-- Modified on 4/28/2005 8:32:46 PM
Been there, done that. Was casual dating... moved to marriage... next thing I know - one kid was on way.... next thing I know - 2nd kid was on the way.... What I said (or for that matter, wanted) - was irrelevant. Yea, I know no one held a gun to my head... and I would not trade my kids for anything. BUT - my Ex - left me - why, after she went through my savings, exhausted me physically and emotionally, she said that I was not up to her standards - in other words there was nothing left to take....
AT least with providers I pay for an hour - I get an hour - cheaper - yea.... and I know the price - up front -
That really doesn't sound right.
If you read my post you would have noticed that I am in my late 40's and have never been married. I know how to date without getting trapped, I have not purposely avoided marriage, I have been in love many times, it just never happened and I have no regrets.
Again, since you missed it, my point was I had what was by TER terms a 'Once in a Lifetime' experience with a woman who was 'Model Material' and all it cost me was $130 and the balls to approach her in the first place. And this was not the first time I've had such an experience.
And yet again, I did acknowledge that marriage was a different situation than dating. I'm sorry your wife dumped you but it does not change my view at all that with a little courage dating is less expensive than seeing a provider. Yes, seeing a provider is easier, but it is not cheaper.
-- Modified on 4/28/2005 8:53:45 PM
Again, get real. Define Casual Dating for us morons! Ciara has more of a real view that you know. See my above - I was in my early 40's when I married - my ex went through my "casual" savings.... which were considerable... so I guess that was casual dating....
If you actually mean sex with no expected call back - yea- I have had that too. But with that always comes some expectation - from either party; do not kid yourself....
My bet - you are considered a cad by those you leave behind and do not pursue after sex... just my hunch. Eventually it will catch you!
Me, I consider getting cleaned up, dressed up and in the mood for an encounter with a provider to be "formal dating" after all - it is with a lady of experience, who is dedicated to my happiness, for the most part I pick educated well groomed ladies. AND there is no guesswork on either of our parts- we know why we are there.... again - cheaper you bet. Ciara, while physically you are not my type, mentally you score more hits than almost anyone I know! This dude does not get it! Where is Lex Leuthor and Bizzaro Superdude when ya need them?
I do see and agree with Ciara on this one, and thus you too. But I also agree with what SD said. There are good points to argue on both sides of the fence depending on each person's situation, funding, outlook, wants, and needs.
I think this is one of those topics like gifting, tipping, rates, and so many others out there.... there just really is no one right and wrong answer, It all works.
his point was questioning the legitimacy of that subject line. Along those lines, I didn't state my case clearly in my response, so let me add something.
If someone wants to just get laid, I agree, seeing providers is cheaper than dating. Most women don't date to just get laid, so they aren't just going to give it up when it is in many, if not a majority, of men's natures to just fuck and run.
However, in the long run, dating is MUCH cheaper than seeing providers. You just have to like who you are dating, and enjoy being in a relationship.
Additionally, even if you have to go on several dates with someone before you get to the bedroom, it doesn't necessarily have to cost you $300 or more. However, it may cost you something priceless...honesty and vulnerability.
Relationships aren't for everyone, just like the hobby. I just wish those who aren't cut out for relationships would stop having them and making the dating pool harder to navigate for those of us who want to be there.
Peace, y'all.
Very good post Gort, but Ciara had all the definitive answers. Since she is a member of the opposite sex, I really respect her for "Telling It Like It Is!" Redheadedbbw, was in fact correct, when she stated that you got lucky. Yes, you did approach her, and put in the time and effort, but IMHO, most encounters with civvies would not have resulted in this outcome on the first date. Maybe you are a real good looking guy with a great personality? If, as red suggested, you can do this on a regular basis, then by all means, go for it.
That being said, as Ciara so succinctly pointed out, several possibilities will arise from your date.
Scenario # 1. You like the lady and had great sex. You will see her again, and each encounter will invariably lead to greater out of pocket expenses. If she becomes a "Girl Friend", expect that she will require more expenditure of your time. Time is money in the abstract sense, because we all have a finite amount of it available to satisify our personal needs. As the hobbyist saying goes, "We don't pay providers to have sex with us, we pay them to go away!" An over simplification of course, but you get the idea!
Scenario # 2. You bang her for a couple of months, get bored or disenchanted, and try and ride off into the sunset "ala" John Wayne. Might work, might not! Don't think she'll ride her horse in the opposite direction. Who ever said, "Hell hath no greater fury like a woman scorned" definitely must have been speaking from experience. The insidious little ways she can make your life a living hell, are too numerous to mention. Trust me!
Scenario # 3. You get hooked! All civilian woman have adgendas. If you don't realize that, I have some waterfront property in Arizona I'll sell you cheap! In case you never noticed, woman are smart. They think with their heads. A mother caught her young son looking at his privates. He asked, "Mommy, are these my brains?" She replied, "Not Yet!" A lot of hobbyists on this board will tell you that "If they had it to do, all over again" -----? Many just can't handle the finacial hardship of busting out.
In closing,lest you think that I am a misogynist or bitter old man, I "LOVE" woman. They consume my every waking thought. I've had a wealth of experience with many. I've learned something from every one of them. IMHO, time spent with a quality provider, is far superior and much more cost effective, than any short term benefits afforded by a $190.00 dollar date. That's why I started hobbying. Better late than never. Just mt 2 cents. Peace!
See my above to get my situation... but now let me state a couple of interesting concepts - the above makes some level of assumption that providers are not female... or at least different from civie females... my experience - they are not... Both providers I have been with and those I have met otherwise... they are very female - if anything ultra female - and for a couple of them - wished that I had met them or someone like them earlier in my life... but not sure how my personality then would have worked... I was a dweeb....
Many (not all) of the providers I see - are real caring very nice females - Do not think they are not.... but IN THIS ONE PLACE - they can act like a guy... to me - that is incredible, they can empathise with the fantasy - and provide it.... can your "casual date?"
First of all, you need to love "women", not "woman". :P Although I am ribbing you, in some ways, that was a telling Freudian slip. Why so?
"All civilian women have agendas"
"We don't pay providers to have sex with us, we pay them to go away!"
"...time spent with a quality provider, is far superior and much more cost effective, than any short term benefits afforded by a $190.00 dollar date."
All cynical statements, and all completely different than the experiences I have had in life. If you have to spend $190 on a date, and all you are looking for is "short term benefits", no wonder you feel the way you do. As much as I think Ciara ia a sharp lady (and I do), I would expect her statements...she does this for a living, and she and I have talked several times about our differences of opinion on this subject, and respect each other's POV. However, for you to say that you "love women", I question your understanding of what you are trying to say.
P.S. I still don't like guns. 
-- Modified on 4/28/2005 10:13:02 PM
I have had it happen to me a few times as well, and I am no great shakes. You just have to believe in yourself, meet the right person, and not have a chip on your shoulder.
Any person who does all the things you do is a level above this simple man. I hope some man comes along some day and surprises you. In the menatime, I hope your clients realize how amazing you are.
Muah!
get over yourself
Nothing I've read in this thread has changed my opinion that dating is less expensive that seeing providers.
Yes, seeing providers is easier. Even providers who profess to have tough screening procedures are pretty easy to get an appointment with. You know you will get laid, and you know what time it will happen. And although I have not experienced the stalking, endless phone calls from spurned lovers, or bitter divorces that others spoke of I do agree that seeing a provider is emotionally cheaper--that I will concede. It's more difficult to approach a stranger in a public place and engage in conversation, but not cheaper
Again, I met a woman who would rate at least a 9 by TER standards and had an experience that would rate a 10. And it was not just great sex, I had a great meal, saw an entertaining movie, and did so with a woman who spent time with me because she wanted to, not because it was her job. Yes, I paid for her meal and movie, but not her time. I did not have to pay her to sit and eat with me or sit and watch the movie with me. Again, I paid $130. And this was not an anomaly or isolated occurance--it's happened many times before.
As I mentioned in my original post, the fact that seeing a provider is, for lack of a better term, 'a sure thing' does make the expenses involved worth while. But to state that paying several hundred dollars for one hour of sex, er I mean 'time' vs. the equivalent time spent on a civie date just doesn't add up.
I will allow you all to rationalize all you need to, I am now convinced.
-- Modified on 4/28/2005 10:58:30 PM
Nicely said. I disagree at times with the "emotionally cheaper" comment, but that's a thread for another time and mindset.
Anyone who is involved in this activity because of a financial cost-benefit analysis comparing one date to another, is nuts. I doubt you would find many people who would honestly say that is why they are here if they really thought about it. It is an easy argument to win because based on a pointless premise.
The reality of why men are involved with this has far more to do with needs that aren't being fulfilled elsewhere, urges that aren't being satisfied in other ways, emotional pain or concern about causing emotional pain to others.
Maybe, assuming it is true that you were able to pick-up a much younger and very beautiful woman at the grocery store and she stayed with you all night and had awesome sex with you, it is possible that she was equally satisfied with the experience and happy to move on so she could have a new performance the next time with someone else she met at the fruit counter.
Or maybe she felt an emotional attachment and will be hurt and dissapointed at not hearing from someone she was excited about meeting.
Maybe you have been able to arrange such meetings repeatedly when you please and move on repeatedly as you please so that no woman would be hurt or insulted or angered by your activities because no woman is wondering where you are or what you are doing all night.
Or maybe you just don't give a damn about the pain your actions cause another.
Maybe you have an incredible ability to pick out women who are not only attractive and sexually uninhibited with total strangers, and who are also extraordinarily independent and unattached and uninterested in an attachment.
Or maybe you are very good looking and very good in bed so that women are pleased to meet you and have sex with you...but are emotionally unavailable so that your moving on is no great loss to them.
It's impossible for any of us to know from this post. But if you think you have proven something of value or consequence the one you are fooling is yourself.
3- 2 months later when you piss us off we wont stalk you at your work- call you 8 times a day and be clingy
4- we dont want you to buy us a house.. pay a mortgage or buy us a new car and spend your life with 3 kids you had simply to live the American Dream ( nightmare)
5- one day we wont take your house, your new cars, your three kids and leave you rendered useless and broke to where you wont even remember what your net worth once was
Where were you when I needed this 
Living in NY some of the math you're using doesn't work for me
Dinner & drinks is more like $250+ , you can't park anywhere under $20 if you want to see your car again and most likely you're going to use taxi's and that's much more than $20.
... "Well, they would say that, wouldn't they?"
I can't imagine that you're surprised by the responses, not if you've been around here for a while.
Your views may be heretical, Gort, but thanks for expressing them as I do find the entire thread fascinating.
It's all very well for some to say that everyone knows where they stand with providers, that there's no hidden agendas, etc etc, but after reading these boards I find some of what's being said a bit disingenuous. Like all belief systems, it's perfect in theory. However, need I elaborate on the stories which appear here from time to time? Allegations of stalking, offensive or unprofessional behaviour? The oft-repeated questioning about another person's true feelings and motivations? If it were all so clear-cut, there wouldn't be this need for a discussion board, is my guess.
In reality any social transaction has its own risks, costs and benefits. It's just that viz-a-viz a provider or civvie the terms and conditions are necessarily going to be different, a varied balance of positives and negatives.
It may be cheaper for you to take your civvie date on the town, but monetary expense isn't the only factor, as I'm sure you know full well. I just hope you give her the proper and commensurate consideration - whatever that may be - which she so evidently deserves.
Aphra
your summation works on one experience only, since you're not married don't have a SO somewhere I know you have had these experiences also .....
meet this wonderful woman pretty much anywhere and exchange phone numbers for a future date and here is what follows at dinner...
The Professional Interviewer- This one is pretty much my favorite and it goes like this only they are a far more subtle in their approach.
so what so you do for a living?
where do you live?
What size apartment do you have.
are you married?
ever been married?
how many times have you been married?
have a SO?
Why did you break up?
How long ago was it?
Are you still on speaking terms?
have any children?
how many?
how old?
Do they live with you?
How do you feel about the prospects of starting over again?
Are you ready for another relationship?
How often do you drink?
Have you considered giving up smoking?
Do you ever think of moving to the country and buying a home? You could commute ya know?
or how about the recently jilted GF where you're in for hearing how badly he ex treated her for two hours and you're wishing you had kept that root canal appt with your dentist.
Ahhhhh then there is is the "Princess" who is little Ms. Wonderful. Never shuts up, talks about herself to the point of making you want to vomit. You sit there quietly and listen to her ramble on and on about herself all the while thinking how the f***k can I get out of here and would she even notice. You tell the waiter to start making your Martini's extra dry and when the hell is the entre' coming.
but then one day accidently ran across something on the internet. One link brought me to another and somehow I ended up on TER.
I could go on dates AND get paid for them???? It still baffles me sometimes that men are willing to pay me for being my normal, charming, fun loving self. I had no idea up until a few months ago that this whole underground world existed.
It's so good to be me! Megatha
I happened to be in the chat room at the time Gort had the provider vs. civie discussion with people in the room. Though the comment "seeing providers is cheaper than going on civie dates," was said, it was clarified later in discussion by people in terms of references to marriage and failed relationships...all the reasons Ciara and others have mentioned above. I think we all know how short-sighted it is to believe one really awesome civie date is representative of what you find out there--or to disregard the strings that usually come attached with them.
I don't know why people insist on comparing different venues to meet women as something comparable. They are apples and oranges. The purpose of seeing a provider is to have, as people have said, "a sure thing" with a beautiful and talented lady, no strings attached. The purpose of dating a civie is the challenge of no guarantees, but the possibility of having a long, fulfilling relationship. To throw in another example, the purpose of seeing a stripper is to have an erotic experience of watching and having limited interaction with a hot dancer. They all have their pros and cons, as I'm sure everyone knows.
Despite knowing what these venues are really about, I hear complaints over and over for wanting something that isn't on the menu. I hear from guys on civie dates that the girls won't "give it up" or when they do, they complain they get clingy. I hear from guys at strip joints that the girls won't let them "do anything" they want. I hear from guys who see an escort one or two times, who then want free dates from them or want to date/marry them or "have something real."
Are there overlaps where hot civies have sex right away, strippers who'll do a little more with the right incentive, or providers that date? Yes. But to expect the exception and complain when you don't, shows a lack of class, common sense and a sense of misplaced entitlement. This is particularly obvious when someone comes into a provider-specific chat room and start making them feel like their services are not unique, but somehow found equivalent but cheaper in the civie sector. This is at best naive, and at worst, the usual petty dig on providers for being too pricey...not to mention probably a little snide dig at the guys for "not being able" to do the same.
As someone who dates, sees providers and occasionally takes a trip to a strip club, I enjoy all these ways to meet wonderful women. I can see the appeals of each, and how they really are apples and oranges to compare. Sure, I have my preferences and that will change as circumstances in my life change (isn't that true for so many) but it would be a poor judgment call on my part to think my choices are somehow better for everyone (or even anyone) else.
I hope this clarifies matters.
-- Modified on 4/29/2005 7:10:25 AM
We can get Cokes and a big tub of popcorn. I'll cut a hole out of the bottom of the tub so I can feel you up. Learning about corporate thieves will NEVER feel as good. {Meow}
Mr Ed,
I agree! The original post seemed to be one of "look what I can do" and I go back to my original assertion that this person probably leaves some degree of emotional baggage with the ladies that he "bags and tags." Even if he won't admit it - Hell, I even feel guilty when I go to see someone new - other than my ATF! So, how he can just walk away with no emotional tie - well, that is really beyond my ability to grasp.
And you are correct in pointing out all of the "gee what good luck/ability" he has... lol, who is this guy? Brad Pitt?
I don't 'bag and tag', I go out with women who interest me. Have I had one night stands?. You bet. But I do have 'relationships' too. I have been seeing one woman regularly for more than a year now. Our schedules prevent us from making it an all consuming one on one affair but we do care for each other and enjoy our time when we are together. She makes none of the increasing demands of me that others have listed here. Earlier this year I took her skiing for her B-day. Yes, I covered the expenses but it was still far less expensive than it would have been had I taken a provider on that trip.
The experience I wrote of in my original post was used as an example. Will I see her again? Absolutely. Will she turn out to be the love of my life? Who knows? But I do know no such thing will ever happen if I never dated civies and only saw providers as it seems the majority here do. I will concede that men who only see providers do so for reasons other the cost effectiveness of it.
Again, the statement that dating is less expensive than seeing providers may only hold true for me--but I doubt it.
-- Modified on 4/29/2005 7:35:06 AM
but civvie dating/courtship is like a home loan that starts out with real cheap initial payments that lead up to a huge baloon payment.
With a provider the terms are in BOLD PRINT
With a civvie the devil is in the details.
Cm.
I have men of all types coming to see me. Let's forget the rejects and think about why wonderful men come to see me.
I have one man who travels extensively and see girls the one night he is in town.
I have one guy who stutters and stammers so much that he makes many girls feel uncomfortable and they can't view him him as that smooth talking Prince Charming.
I have a gorgeous poster boy who recently gave me a bottle f wine and he has time off from work only at the last minute which pisses his girlfriends off so he doesn't have one.
I have three men going through a divorce and are horny and a couple who don't want the involve their lady with they small children or family.
Some of my clients have wives going thro pregnancy or depression and they are trying to be a perfect husband.
Some of my military clients are straight out of boot camp and never had a girlfriend or if they did, she was trashy as they never had the social skills to get a nicer one as they sat most of their teenage years behind a computer or playing video games (taken some cherries)
Some guys have a good wife but she is my opposite. She is big boned, tall, blonde or just different and the want the experience w/o hurting her feelings.
With the risk of losing money, any decent, hardworking, clean man should be able to get a woman. The problem lies in whether she has the looks men require. She may be ugly, bucktooth, fat or have more hair than you. She may have kids or relatives you don't want to deal with and you may be just want a no strings attached relationship where she is looking for someone to grow old with.
Being a provider is a job in which your income does depend on your looks and then your skill. I know that when I first started, no one told me that a bj was required as I had no one to talk to about this and was desperately in need of money. I did apply effort and was rewarded with repeat clientale. I will say my experience has improved. I remember that there was another provider in my area who was petite but 40 and my clients wouldn't see her b/c she was "old" and did incall out of a trailer.
Being a provider has little to do with relationships and more with giving a guy that perfect fantasy seen in adult movies. My review rating have gone up the more I portray "that girl" rather than a genuine girlfriend.
I hope I haven't offended anyone.
Or maybe the bill hasn't arrived yet.
For me, the experience was different. When I looked at *all* the cost of it, including the total mental and emotional toll, the loss of my productivity, sleepless nights, and the fact that actual sex, when desired, was actually rare, it wasn't worth it.
The hobby has been therapeutic, though. What spoiled dating mostly was my own negative attitude and low expectations. I approach and flirt with civvy women with much more ease now. I'll be stepping back into civvy dating soon, but if a relationship gets serious, I don't know which provider I could give up seeing...
However, I am acquainted with many other guys who have experiences dating that have been worse than mine. Some have had their lives endangered because of it, some have been physically scarred, and/or have had to go to court because of it.
What you described was the way it should go. If only it happened more like that for all of us.
-- Modified on 4/29/2005 9:06:36 PM
The real difference is that civvie dating is a crapshoot. Some days it works, and others it doesn't. You may find a stalker, a wife, a fun girl for just a night, or a frustrating dinner companion. With a provider, you know what the rules are. You know the cost, and the return.
You may be right. Civvie dating may be cheaper, but it isn't ALWAYS cheaper.
...you spilled a little bit of self-righteousness on your chin there...no to the left a bit...there, you got it.
Sometimes you take a bath, and sometimes you strike gold. All depends on your instincts, your choices, and how well you read the performance of the compnay.
"But to expect the exception and complain when you don't, shows a lack of class, common sense and a sense of misplaced entitlement."
Dead on.
Actually, $390 is almost above average cost to see a provider, in flordia. You will pay almost $400 for a provider. So in the scheme of things if you go out on a civie date 3 times and if you pay the $130 every date, it would seem to me time wise it would be better seeing a provider. That is if you are not looking for a long term Relationship.
-- Modified on 4/29/2005 9:29:50 AM
and may be the most well-considered perspective on any topic I have read on this esteemed board.
Who are you?
~~~wiping mouth~~~
I aplogize for my statement about guns. :P
And taking a bath in gold will never make you clean.*
________________________________________________
* Not really related to SD's post or this thread, but just thought I'd mention it anyway. lol
you can also add my "applause" if you are ok with an edited version of the original reaction.
-- Modified on 4/29/2005 10:18:39 AM
Why are you calling Gort a cad? No one put a gun to his lady friend’s head. Apparently this is something she wanted to happen. Maybe this was all she was looking for.
Do you always hide behind an alias when posting snooty, childish little comments like this?
BTW, I am glad to give the honor and priviledge of being the recipient of my opinion. You are Welcome!
this was the most on-point response made! Well said!
Kind of a long post, but please read, Gort!!
So, from reading your post, I think you just have a harder time accepting that a woman has to be "paid to like you" at a price you think is somewhat high. Please remember that a provider is just like any other charming, witty, free-spirited person...just like your date. Who is to say that you would not have met a provider in this very same way if you just saw one at a bookstore and struck up a conversation unknowing of her profession and you hit it off? Do you not find it possible that providers in their "real" life also attract people to them and may even once in a while "give it up for free" because they liked some guy they met?
Anyone as hot as this woman apparently is supposed to be is probably used to being looked at and admired and yet she chose to be with YOU because she saw something about you that she liked so much that she just HAD to have you that night....the reason might be that she was just a hot woman with a high sexual appetite for "just this one night with you" or she does this kind of thing all the time in the quest for a guy with either mate-able qualities,( seems to have money, or is just darn charming/intelligent/witty...you guess what it is...)If she was just a wild at heart girl....keep using your condoms, you probably aren't the only guy she finds *special*....if she found you to be a potential boyfriend/lover, then hey, lucky you..but that's how ALL relationships that happen in "real time" start out...with chemistry...and providers and civvies alike are just as capable of this.
She was obviously able to observe that you were not a psycho, she was willing to go home with you and let you take her out....perhaps risky on her part, perhaps the start of a whirlwind love affair...but how many other women of all walks of life wouldnt do this if they could effectively do a pre-screening of initial attraction and see how the night ends up? You must remember that most providers do not know what you look like, do not know how you behave in public or your demeanor, if you are really a decent person, your hygiene and grooming..she got to see all of this....but would she have also just had sex with you if you just asked her right there in the bookstore? No...she had to get to know you better....over a dinner...over a movie...back at your place....those are all several forms of screening (conversation, asking questions) which in some way cost you money...
Now, just because you are quite the charmer does not mean most guys out looking for a relationship or sex are as awesome as you...so we as providers must effectively weed out what we find undesirable based on factors that have nothing to do with looks or that gleam in the eyes because we never get to see you beforehand....and we set our *price* so as to deal with a more exclusive set of people who realize all that we must put up with and still deliver a quality experience and yet the guy can be beautiful, average, or not so hot....but what provider will noy testify with me here that sometimes your heart races when you open the door and you think that guy is just the bee's knees(i.e. hot hot hot)!!!
Now, you just know I would love to do all of that (and how did you know that I like Coke and not Pepsi?). However, Chicago is a bit far for me to go for a movie. However, I do have a friend you could take...
Having said that, someone doesn't seem to answer their e-mail, or has changed their address and not told me about it. Drop me a line, eh? [email protected]
So...did you see "Eros"?
Oh, and the hole in the bottom of the tub is a good idea, but you had better be careful with the butter. :P
I honestly thought at one point that I had serious issues. Boy was I wrong!
To compare a session with a provider with a civi date is apples to oranges. As a provider I do date civi wise and frankly I am not very likely to hop in the sack with the civi guy first few dates as when I date I am looking at the long term but I am also upfront about that I am looking for relationship and not just a roll in the hay. I am also upfront and honest about my job which confuses most civi guys when I will not sleep with them right off. The way I figure it if the guy wants a relationship he will prove it with his actions and being willing to see if such is to develope. If on the other hand he wants a quick roll in the hay well he can have my website addy. One reason for my attitude towards civi dates is one I will not be dishonest thus I will say what my job is. Two the gentlemen I have met since I started this job have somewhat spoiled me in that they are seldom as selfish as most of the civi guys I had seen in the past.
-- Modified on 4/30/2005 9:53:08 PM