My professional touring days are pretty much over, but I did take a little vacation last week.

My first stop was Houston. I love Houston. Even after the cops took down Escape and half the MPs in town, it's still cool.  But enough about punani for right now. Great city, diverse, great retaurants, friendly people. It's a town which has a heavy Arab population (Lebanaese and Saudi primarily), yet not even a whiff of terrorist activity goes on there. It's also perhaps the easiest Customs checkpoint to pass through in the US. The Arabs generally vote Republican.

The strip clubs there are a riot, you're getting a lap, and both the bouncers and the girl's pimp are checking you off their sheets. Oh yeah, the SCBBBJ is a Houston tradition.

I did find a member of the Escape Alumni Association, a young lady with a phenomenal all natural body, and we had a great time. She'll be review #38 (when I get time for it).

Next stop was Tampa, where for an area in the Bible Belt, there seems to be more SCs and MPs (or equivalent thereof-the lingerie modeling studio) than 7-11s. I did go to one, the famous Mons Venus, which was fairly lame (well, pretty much any SC after Houston will be lame). There was so much gnarled labia on display I wondered if they should call it Mons Arby's instead.

Last stop was Miami, where I tried to get laid. and tried, and tried again. The topper came when the phone girl said she couldn't verify me because both my home numbers were unlisted.  8 times, 5 reviews on TER, couldn't verify me. The next day, I tried another agency (a favorite of Staff's, BTW), the first phone girl said my second choice was available. Then, when I called back to confirm , she had taken the weekend off because it was Mother's Day on Sunday, and she wanted to spend the weekend with her kids. Problem was it was Friday. This was only the tip of the iceberg, but it was clear the Universe was responsible. Miami is a great town too, you don't have to be a billionaire to live there, and the women are the best looking in the US (sorry, LA).

My 4 hour delay in Houston (thunderstorm shut down the airport) on the return served to remind me why I'm sticking to the West Coast from now on.