So, I've been a member here for a number of years and I've maintained a paid subscription for a handful of years. Since the pandemic, I've noticed an increase in behavior that really isn't good, both here on the forum and out in "hobby land".
Most recently, I've heard from two companions who have had absolutely negative and really disgusting experiences and the commonality between those experiences has been TER. In one case, a client kept harping on a particular review and basically threatened to write a bad review of her, unless she did what he wanted (she didn't tell me all the details). In the other case, I believe a fake review was written and he demanded certain service to "up her score". Earlier this year, we had the "doxing" incident where client details were posted on Twitter/X *after* he blackmailed her for a refund. With all the talk about the benefits of the reviews here and the interaction with others who share the same general interests, I have to wonder: what the hell is going on? Sure, not all companions and clients get along. Some companions rip-off clients. Some clients try to rip-off companions (or worse, in some cases). NOT ALL of that is related to TER in any way, shape or form. However, I'm getting some feedback from companions having bad experiences with "TER guys". Clearly, NOT ALL TER members engaged in the kind of behavior I'm vaguely describing but it's starting to make me wonder if TER is turning into a "magnet" for the "bad apples". I do enjoy reading the reviews here because they can be quite erotic stories. However, the things I'm hearing make me wonder if it's really worth being part of this community. What are your thoughts? Thanks in advance for taking the time to read my post.
that kind of behavior isn’t new, and I’m not sure it’s increased post-pandemic.
Is TER a “magnet for bad apples”? It could certainly be a magnet for those who use reviews to hurt others, since reviews are at the core of this site. And perhaps bad behavior by “TER guys” stands out for providers because TER is a known entity in this world.
I can understand if you and others want to stop coming here. But consider that the world in general is full of people acting badly—often much worse than what’s seen here. Yet we carry on.
An alternative to withdrawing is to do whatever you can to make this site a better place, whether that’s writing only fair reviews that aren’t mean-spirited, being mindful of others’ feelings when posting, to always treating providers with consideration and respect.
I think this advice from a long time ago is good to remember, when on this site and for life in general:
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Nice.
Good post. Dunno if what your saying about making this place better is possible. Good post tho.
Philippians? I was going to guess that it was a mrfisher quote.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Nice.
Good post. Dunno if what your saying about making this place better is possible. Good post tho.
pretty much everything gets worse as time goes on.
Yet, TER still has a benefit from the reviews, especially if I want to find someone in a city I will be traveling to, so for that reason alone, I would stay. I've never been disappointed in the providers I have come upon.
As for the quality of the boards, they are not where they once were.
pretty much everything gets worse as time goes on.
To be frank with you.........There's not one Hobbyist/Client on this site that will threaten me for any reason and I would report him to the admin or to someone on this site and get him band from this site. See, when Providers & Hobbyists get on this site.........It's at their own risk.
I remember when I first started on this site way back in 2005. I did not offer GFE & a long time member promised to write me a review if I lowered my donation for him, and did a BBBJ. He played me & never wrote me a review this behavior is nothing new. These people feel entitled & prey on new members it’s disgusting.
Even now nothing has changed. They feel powerful with their hundreds of reviews. I’m baffled as to how I can call out a fake review here on TER it stays up for a month during my challenge & it’s finally removed because the guys a liar, but nothing happens to him posting slander. It was a 9/9 review I could have left it up & still been on the top 100 list, but I have integrity. Why is his account not terminated? It’s mind blowing. What’s my incentive as a reputable provider to call out fake reviews if there’s no repercussions? I pay for VIP membership. These liars who write fake reviews get free memberships.
TER needs to protect us honest providers instead of giving the people who are here to be malicious the upper hand. If I require deposits to book, since 2010 no fake review should be up for 1 month. Ever. I was not happy to see only the fake review was deleted he should be terminated. I love TER as a community, but I feel it should be more provider friendly, since without is there is nothing.
All the rude & disrespectful posts from the misogynist men is an on going issue. If TER did not revolve around these individuals who most likely feel they run this shit & put us providers first it would be a better place. These people feel they have seniority.
to TER Admin that he obtained a discount in exchange for a promise of a review? If not, then you are part of the problem. I have no reservations about reporting a provider who offers a discount for a review, and providers should have no problem reporting reviewers that are offering good reviews in exchange for a discount, but like so many things that are discussed on this board, there are providers who think the rules only flow one way. What is surprising is that you are still butt-hurt about being scammed 18 years ago. Just remember that he could not have played you unless you were a willing participant in his attempted review scam. I think YOU call that kind of thing karma, right? Lol
I saw you a long, long, long time ago, so I know you are legit, but a lot of guys here don't. Have you ever considered that by requiring deposits you are lumping yourself in with the illegitimate providers who make deposits the basis for scamming customers?
Smile for me.
-- Modified on 12/6/2023 2:44:57 PM
First and foremost, I do not have an issue at all with reviews, I think they are very helpful, but I have even heard from clients that they feel TER is very antiquated. There is the general consensus from providers as well. Reviews should be more "yelp" and less "penthouse".
We are providing a service, and the basics of what everyone wants in a service should be reviewed, not all of the sexy details. (IMO).
Communication for setting up appointment
Cost vs. service provided
Truth in advertising
Cleanliness of location
Ease of finding incall/outcall, parking, etc.
Process for screening/deposits/refunds was easy to understand and accurate
Providers should never, as in never, feel they have to provide certain services to get a better score. If you are interested in receiving a massage only, and you have seen a gal that provides everything you want in the service, you should be able to give her the best score for that service.
I have been trying to do my best to "lead by example", but I do know that at times I get frustrated by some of the comments and I do slip up as well. The most difficult part of navigating this, of course, is that this profession is still illegal.
And I think we also know that there is a big shift in the environment where the stings are focused on the clients now, and not the providers, which does cause a shift in the dynamics of the industry, good and bad.
Clients did used to "rule the roost" and that is not really the case anymore. As I said, this can be good and bad. Personally I have seen less pushback when I ask for screening info, and I do think when clients contact me they are more polite and respectful. I have not had anyone question my rates in years. (I am cheap anyway, why should you??? LOL) Are there going to be more providers (or scams) that take advantage of this? Of course. and the complete bull shit stings will continue harassing and targeting good clients. And things will not get better unfortunately until adult consensual sex work is decriminalized.
And I've heard a couple of ladies bemoan the "Penthouse Letters", blow-by-blow approach to reviews. But I'll offer a couple of different thoughts.
First, some reviewers do take the Cliffs Notes approach to writing reviews. More power to them. But some of us enjoy the small pleasure of reliving the moment by replaying it for our TER brethren. Nothing stops a reader from skimming through my reviews to get the nuggets of information they want. But I don't mind a reasonably descriptive narrative. I am reminded that this is a place to live out, and relive, our fantasies.
Second, I think a dry, dispassionate set of bullet points about a meeting would run the risk of taking some of the fun out of this site. There are some reviewers here who clearly want to share the joy of an evening well spent. Nothing wrong with allowing them a little license to spread their enjoyment in prose.
No system wrought by humans has ever been perfect and none will ever be. If I was going to make a suggestion to improve the site, it might be to commit ourselves to being more respectful and kind. It's no secret why so few women show up on the boards anymore here. That's one thing I'd love to see change. I'm willing to do my part.
-- Modified on 12/6/2023 11:35:46 PM
Too bad more providers don't think like you. However, one small point of disagreement for me, and that is that customers are more interested in their fantasy being fulfilled than the reality of what they are doing, so I think "penthouse" reviews will drive more traffic to you then "yelp"-style would. Other than that, I agree with each of your points, especially that more recently, customers are generally treating providers more respectfully than ten years ago. The common term, "hooker", that was all over this board back then has been seldom used lately.
I was thinking about this also. Obviously TER makes their money from guys who want to read the full review, so that would be the kicker as to what options they would offer that men would pay for. Short answer....I don't know!!! LOL
You mentioned yelp. Reminds me of the apocryphal restaurant review "The food was terrible and the portions were small."
I used to enjoy reading “Penthouse letters”, hee hee!
I actually enjoy the style of reviews, the sexy details. Love to hear about the clients perception of their experience. I truly believe that feedback has helped me better understand what many are seeking.
I also like to read reviews of potential clients to understand their likes, and if their preferences are compatible with what I offer. I have chosen not to see clients in the past based on the content of their reviews.
Having said that, I wholeheartedly agree that the scoring system stinks. It’s not logical that one should have to provide certain services in a session to qualify for a “10”, especially if the client may not even be interested in those specific services.
As MissScarlet stated, if I am seeking a massage provider, and I meet the most amazing massage provider ever, my “once in a lifetime”, I should be able to rank her accordingly.
I never subscribed to the TER view that you could only award one "10" because it had to be "once in a lifetime." Anyway, that's not really even a rule. If a girl was truly stellar in every way and put everything on the table I'd give her a "10." In one case I gave a very ordinary-looking girl a "10 for performance because she was such a freak that I'd never experienced anything like her before. The 7 I gave her for appearance was being kind But "wow."
X-out-of-Y scoring is a 10-out-of-10 idea.
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/suggestion-and-policy-4/another-argument-in-support-of-x-out-of-y-scoring-17101
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/suggestion-and-policy-4/i-have-several-10-out-of-10-suggestions-for-improving-reviews-16959
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/suggestion-and-policy-4/the-trials-and-tribulations-of-ter-scoring-x-out-of-y-16865
And many other posts on the General and Suggestion and Policy boards.
Great post! Thank you for your views about this.
Using your own reviews to improve is wise and humble. Using them to research clients before a session just seems really smart. What a pro.
I’ve been thinking starting a thread asking providers if they have/want full VIP, and if so, why? I think you just answered it!
I think practically everyone agrees about the stupidity of the scores being limited to 7 unless certain things happen. Well, except admin obviously.
I've been on this forum for about nine years. There has always been a sort of love-hate relationship between providers and TER reviews and between clients and TER reviews. Well before covid, there was a large scale provider campaign against review sites and "review culture."
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Forum participants who are also clients have long lamented that many reviews are written by fanbois and greatly exaggerate or mislead about looks and girth.
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And of course providers obviously hate negative or fictional reviews as well as review extortion attempts.
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The fact is, though, TER's heyday was in the past. The power of a TER review, for good or evil, peaked a while back. Provider presence has spread to several other venues. For many, TER is not a major driver of business.
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What we probably see now is a random statistical clustering of complaints which makes it appear that things are getting worse. I think in aggregate numbers there is just less of everything. But a local cluster of events can give a false impression of wider spread phenomena.
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This whole biz will keep evolving. In the mean time, reviews can serve a limited purpose to both clients and providers as long as they understand that reviews are mere indicators and not fundamentally reliable.
But there it is.
We make such a lovely couple...
I'm not saying that such behavior is not bad or welcome. However, I'm not sure it has actually gotten any worse than before based on your observations. Maybe yes, maybe no -- I would want to see more than a few anecdotal bits of evidence for forming such an opinion.
That said, I would not really be surprised as the entire world seems to be leaning towards more confrontational, adversarial and more actual active conflict in lots of spaces (politics, social media, public spaces social interactions, geopolitics...). With those types of attitudes seeming to be the norm why not expect to see an increase here.
On the other side, I might also suspect that these cases appear more noticeable because the volume of posts here is significantly lower than in the years past. So I suspect these issues seem more visible (stay on the visible list longer and probably get more comments do to lack of other discussions to join) which might tend to amplify their presence.
That is just way too small of a subset imo. Sure there is bad behavior from some members here. That is well established. But why would you jump to the conclusion that TER is at fault? I would blame the individuals and not this website. I am certain that any review forum will have its cast of bad characters. Is TER better or worse than the average? We couldnt possibly know as the data simple doesnt exist for comparison sake.
What may be going on is recency bias with you. That is normal and very human, however unscientific it may be. Personally, I love this community. Yes, there are a few bad apples but again, as long as humans are involved, no site will ever be perfect.
I have been around TER for about 10 years and there have always been POS guys that have been threatening girls with bad reviews. If TER and other review pages go away those same guys will find a new way of being a POS towards girls.
Doxxing has also been a problem for as long as I can remember which has picked up pace lately cause every provider now wants real info on top of references and not all providers are somebody you can trust with info. I remember a provider doxxed a guy in PA on Twitter for some hotel/time miscommunication which caused both sides to go crazy for doxxing a guy over something so simple.
This hobby is always changing and will always have some issues that will cause providers or clients to get angry.
I don't doubt the accuracy of your recollection, but I wonder how representative it is of P4P, and this board.
TER is now up to 1.5M reviews. By even the simplest math, that equates to thousands of new reviews every year, this year likely being no different than an average year. And out of those thousands of touches, we can point to a handful of incidences of bad outcomes.
Again, I don't question that some bad shit has happened, and I have no doubt some bad shit goes unreported or is underreported.
But I'm left wondering whether this is a trend, and if so whether it's material. Of course it sucks to be the 1 of 100 or 1000 to whom bad shit happens. What I can't tell from the anecdotal evidence before us is whether that evidence has something meaningful to tell us about TER or even P4P. Please remember that there were bad outcomes before TER, at its infancy, and probably every year of its existence. So is it demonstrably and empirically different today?
-- Modified on 12/6/2023 8:43:25 PM
-- Modified on 12/6/2023 9:14:59 PM
And come back to 2023!
TER is now up to 1.5M reviews.
What's sad for TER is that while it has recovered numerically, the business isn't close to what it was. The boards are a desert and the influence of the reviews on this "industry" is vastly diminished. It's a shame because this business was better for it.
because he once posted on this board that he has been a TER member for 25 years . . . . . except there was no TER then, but that's a minor detail. Lol
I endeavor at all times to avoid companions knowing anything about my involvement with TER.
It started, funny enough, with a provider I’d never seen before saying she read my review of her here. It was our first encounter.
Long and short, I try hard to disguise my relationship to any provider by changing small details like day of visit and what we were wearing, etc.
Once I had a bad experience with one and said I was going to write a review (NEVER DO THAT!). She threatened to try to out me. What did I do? Wrote a solid 8-8-9-9 review. My karmic offset is that I’ve blown many a good day seeing someone who had bought a monger’s good review, and you all know who you are.
Anyway, I’m deep in the c-milf esthetic right now. Skinflation, coerced reviews, shithole LA style upselling, dumbass mongers actually contributing to orgs’ clandestine DB’s stocks of incriminating photo and work ID (proving my theory that any idiot can be an AI developer) have wrecked k-land. especially since the offerings are difficult to discern these days. So many reviews saying “photos accurate but ten years ago”.
THATS NOT ACCURATE, fellas!
And that’s why TER kinda looks bad from any vantage point these days. But it’ll get better. Always seems to pick itself up by the ballsack.
Merry Christmas and gung hay fat Choy!
sag