I think I liked the "two timer". Subtle play on words...

LTT

Perpetual Penetration for me

~ Gentleman Ben

There's something wrong if a man is getting a HJTC from a woman,
although it's ok as preliminary stimulation.
You can give yourself a HJ. When you're with a woman you should be getting to do more.

Both insult and an injury.  My sympathy!

/Zin

How about NONE OF THE ABOVE.

Yeah, some of them look plearable, but I can't help thinking that there's a nice, wet, warm mouth wihin inches of all this hand-action. What's wrong with using *that* instead?

Hands, I can do that myself.

and that's my Stroking hand, too!

Courtesone?