it needs to be said. This is in response to several provider friends whom I have heard discussions about some men/hobbyists taking advantage of our gracious, "not watching the clock" syndrome.

I, like many others, have never really been a clock-watcher. If I have a two-hour appointment, I'm certainly not going to stop the evening right in the middle of heated passionate moment to say, "Oops, look what time it is?  I have to go now."  However, I've noticed lately that many men have started saying, "Oh, you're leaving already. I was hoping for more."  This is not a wise tactic, gentlemen. In fact, sometimes the guilt-syndrome placed upon us doesn't make us feel bad about ourselves, it makes us angry with you. We're like you -- human. We have our own needs, families, animals at home that need medicine or feeding. We need sleep, time to ourselves, time to regain our strength. Perphaps the whole romantic endeavor is over for us and we've already stayed way past our time previously arranged with you. This is surely one way to get a provider either angry with you or feel insulted by you. It's okay to show us that you've enjoyed the evening/day and wished we wouldn't have to leave, but to hear it over and over after we've spent more than the required time can be annoying. I do more than my part in showing my appreciation for my clients and certainly to my regulars/friends. But remember: This is a business! Although we enjoy our time with you, there's a time for it to end. We expect you to respect that just like we have to respect it when we pay for a dentist, doctor, lawyer, and whomever for his/her time.  I'm not saying this applies to all, just those of you who take advantage of these types of situations.

Peace & hugs,
Ciara

you are not a clock-hider or guilt-imposing customer.  It makes me dislike you when such things are done.  

I agree, it ruins the mood to be a clock watcher and, like Ciara, I won't stop in the middle of something hot to ask what time it is.  

However, I have school and other things to attend to.  In this kinda business, we must be careful of emotions.  You would not get hurt or pass judgement if your accountant had to leave.  If I have something to do, hard feelings are a bad response.  

I've stayed as long as four extra hours because I liked the customer and had some free time.  Don't make me dislike you by doing such petty things as judging me for noticing the time and leaving as planned instead of staying longer.    

Okay, now for the comebacks - cowering in fear.... Dun Dun Dunnn....

Ok, well not to give you flack, Ciara, I do think you are right.  However, you do come off as a bit too angry and defensive.  The men who visit you may be trying to manipulate you and make you feel guilty, or they may just be showing, perhaps not so wisely or well, that they just appreciate you and the time they spend with you.  Dare I suggest that you not get upset, and just handle this with the infinite grace that you so often show, because I doubt that this type of behavior will stop.

As I agree with you. Nobody, wants to feel like they are taken advantage of, in any situation. I have had it happen, but have learned from it. I think we all do, eventually.  


Peace and Hugs to you, Sister.

Luv,

Kelly~

the decision to "give" time is the provider's decision, not the hobbyist's.  And it's the exception, not the rule.

The hobbyist should be prepared to leave at the appointed hour or offer the stated rate for additional time -- and preferably notify the provider in advance if that's a possibility.

Niggling with a provider over free time smacks of getting something for nothing.  It's cheap and gives hobbyists a bad rep.

There are plenty of single women out there who will spend their time with a guy for nothin'.  If that's what you're looking for, guys, go to match.com

I guess people still will not accept that this is a business for us.

Hugs,
Ciara

I recently had a 3 hour session with a provider (I hope you're jealous CiCi ..hehe). Although, I was hoping she'd stay an hour more, I did not expect it. She told me in advance that she had to go somewhere late that afternoon. She was quite apprehensive that I may get the impression i was being rushed. I said No.  She stayed with me 3 hours and i totally understood if she has to go after that. The next day, I called her and thanked her for a wonderful session and gave her great reviews. In fact, if a provider leaves 10 minutes before an hour-session, I don't have a problem with that if we had a great time and she should that she wanted to know me.

When you said this: "I was hoping she'd stay an hour more," did you tell her that?  Were you willing to pay for it? I hope you didn't imply anything else to her, because that's exactly why I wrote this post. Men shouldn't expect us to stay, even if we seem like we're enjoying ourselves. There might actually be times when we're not enjoying it that much, so when times up, it's up. I can honestly say that I enjoy myself, most of the time, but there have been those times when I haven't but I'm certainly a professional and wouldn't let him know that. Men should not assume that we always want to stay because we find them attractive.  Anyway, thanks for your post. No, I'm not jeolous of another provider. Sorry.  Wink!  However, we do need to meet, you luscious young man.

Hugs,
Ciara

'hoping' is not the same as 'expecting'. two different words for me.  Like 'hope for the best but not expect it'.

that you CUM to Phoenix.

Hugs,
Ciara

by how graciously the ladies I see manage it.  I don't think I've *ever* been told (in so many words) 'OK, times up, time to leave!' -- not by any lady I've hooked up with by means of TER.  Every one of them sweetly go right up to the full end of the hour.  However, I make it *my* business to notice the time and get a move on at the end of the hour.  If a lady wishes to invite me to stay for more at that time, great.  Otherwise, I'm just running according to schedule.  Either way, it makes it *her* choice, which is how it should be.

So, no, CiCi, you won't get flack at all from me on this one -- I agree with you entirely!  Those guys you describe trying to lay guilt trips are really just cheap skates.  Don't give in to them!

Cheers!

Just to give you an analogy

You hope for a big tip (but not Expect it)

But some providers do hope

so I can deposit a big non-monetary tip ... hehehe

-- Modified on 7/5/2004 9:00:36 PM

that it goes toward a needy cause. Wink!

Hugs,
Ciara

non-monetary deposit.  I wanted to deposit a big amount on the Arizona sperm bank .. hahaha ... sorry, I soooo bad! I'm a bad bad boy .. yes needy ladies may need it someday (wink)

You need not desposit any in the Arizona sperm bank, but you might want to consider the germ bank.  That's gross darling.

Hugs,
Ciara

I understand your comments, really I do... but with regards to the repeated request that you stay longer... is it a constant request from one client repeatedly, or one request repeated by all your clients.  You see there is a difference.

I think you're short tempered if each client, just one time, asks for a few extra minutes or another go around.  I think your point is valid if the same client keeps asking for more time.

Why do I think this?  Do you know the percentage of providers who end the hour early?  I would venture to guess about 80%.  Providers who stay the entire hour are in the minority.  Providers like you who occasionally grant additional time are rare indeed.

Please don't blast me for this, it's true.  Perhaps all the ladies who post on this board will disagree, but remember... those of you who post here make up only about 20% of the escorts available.  It may be your policy to give the full hour, but with escorts in general, it's not common at all.

So forgive the selfish fool who asks for extra time... he's just trying to balance out for the times he was cut short.

*** I just reread your post and found I needed to add something. If a provider has stayed beyond the time arranged for and the client still asks for more... then he is a cheapskate and you have every right to be offended!***

-- Modified on 7/5/2004 10:58:37 PM

Simple really.  You took the time and trouble to make your words say exactly what you wanted to say.  So even the bozos you're talking about can't latch on to anything to come back with.  Who'd dare post something like 'when I pay for one hour I expect at least an hour and a half'?

When I think of someone 'not being a clockwatcher' I figure that depending on circumstances an hour appointment might run maybe 5 to 10 minutes over, maybe 15 for a two hour.  These numbers are very approximate, just to give an idea.  And I wouldn't expect it every time.  Beyond that it's time to pay up for more time if it's available, or else graciously leave or allow the lady to leave.

I completely understand the other side of the spectrum (pardon the pun) too.  However, the post was not about providers who don't stay the required amount of time. But I'm glad you had the chance to voice your opinion for those who have felt they've been ripped off. I'm so sorry that happened to you. The only time I've ever left early was at the client's request because he had a meeting or whatever to get to. However, asking a nice provider for extra time because you felt another provider ripped you off is not our problem. I've never squabbled over a few minutes. Like I said, I've often stayed much longer than anticipated and never made the client feel bad for it. But time is money, no matter how you look at it. If you are in the middle of something stimulating, yes STAY a little longer. But if you're just laying there after a session and it's over the time limit, then you shouldn't expect the lady to stay. Our business is a profession just like anyone else's job. I don't know what you do for work but I'm sure you also put in extra hours occasionally. Do you get paid for it? Are you expected to take off your clothes and do things like that when you're exhausted? There is a difference. I'm sorry.

Thank you, though, for posting. I think some providers needed to hear this too.

Hugs,
Ciara

Yes, many clients want more time, but I don't ask them why and usually they don't ask. It's because we're hot and heavy. However, I was speaking about after the session. I don't want anybody making me feel bad when I finally have to leave. We're not love slaves. Well, okay maybe sometimes. Wink!

Hugs,
Ciara

"We need sleep, time to ourselves, time to regain our strength. Perphaps the whole romantic endeavor is over for us and we've already stayed way past our time previously arranged with you. This is surely one way to get a provider either angry with you or feel insulted by you."

I experienced this so much that I began to wonder if I was a doctor and felt that I was dealing with people with huge issues.  But as I focused on these questions, I noticed that I started experiencing men who were very conscious of OUR time. Telling them what I needed didn't work. Innocently or otherwise, so I decided to ask what THEY needed... Where are you going after... to a meeting  because you see, I need to get you back on time, because I am a yakker and I'll make you late for your meeting.  The fact that I have a rehearsal to go to didn't register  for them.  They DO need someone to watch the time for THEIR interests.  It has to be about THEM and their needs.  It also separated the ones with nothing going on in their lives from the ones who would actually appreciate me keeping them on track by attending to their other needs outside the bedroom.  Worked for me as well.  Still does.  I do love loving with abandon and so prefer an overnight.

My desired people in life HAVE ALWAYS been those who are busy and have things to do and places to go.  That applies to my favorite clients as well.  I become more treasured to them by looking out for their other interests outside the bedroom as well. (Don't ask me how that works)  They seem to appreciate being told that it's time to go to get to their meetings so they are on time or that it's time to get on the road because traffic is getting bad, or....Well, I had to figure it out.  In the interest of both parties.  

As far as clients expecting us to MAKE IT UP for the ripoffs.  I give TJ credit for his honesty, but that's all.  It's not a productive stance from a healthy point of view.  No human being should have to carry the burden of others' bad behaviors unless maybe they are a parent?  I wouldn't know, as I don't have children.


-- Modified on 7/6/2004 1:19:44 AM

Hey Ciara,
Haope you had a great weekend.

But you are right in your comments.

Guys, an I guess I have to include myself, will try to get as much out or youa s we can. It's unfortunate but true.
I think sometimes we forget that we donated for a specific time and that, while you might be ok with going a little over, under certain circumstances, it is a "contract" for services and thtas all.
We certainly wouldn't allow our clients, whatevere business we are in to take advantage of our "good nature" and run over.

Guys, if you want to spend more time, make arrangements up front, in advance and understand that the lady does have a life that does not revolve around you.

2 last things:
Cutehunkie, get off your ass and plan a trip.
Ciara, see you soon, darlin

Just my opinion...
B

The providers that post on this board make up the smallest minority on the plan. The estimate for the industry is 9B and rising and this does not include the porn stars that work on a very limited schedule. So while the ladies that post here are welcomed, saying that they represent 20% of the available escorts is very misinformed. P.S. I will not see a lady who accepts 15 min. 30 min. sessions. She is more of a hustler than a provider.

Stay, Ahhh, Just a little bit longer.
Please, please, please, please, please tell me that you're gonna.
Now, Your Daddy don't mind,
And your Mommy don't mind
If we have another dance here: Just one more,

One, more time,
Oh, won't you stay just a little bit longer,
Please let me stay here, please say that you will.

Say you will.
Won't you place your sweet lips on mii-i-i-i-i-i-ine.
Won't you say you love me all of the tii-i-i-i-i-i-ime.

Wo, wo wo wo wo, just a little bit longer.
Please, please, please, please, please tell me that you're gonna
(Come on, come on, come on) Stay-yay, come on, come on, come on,
stay-yay.
(Come on. come on, come on) Stay-yay, come on, come on, come on,
stay-yay.
Oh, Ahhhhhhhhhh...................

Cheers!...the original version:



-- Modified on 7/6/2004 6:06:34 AM

Delight to give you a full body shiatsu massage to sooth your achin muscles; cook you gourmet food when you're hungry (wouldn't mind sprinklin in some aphrodisiacs and did you like thick sausages for a heavy meal? and bananas for desert?). I could wash your dirty laundry (you know .. like white, black, pink soakin silk panties, thongs, nighties, wet toys you just used); I can also prepare a whirlpool bath for you and make your bed fluffy. I can even shave you if you're tired of doing that (but if you tell me to sit and watch I wouldn't mind). And yeah, I can drive you to work (wink)

-- Modified on 7/6/2004 5:34:47 AM

One of my favorite providers made me pop twice in less than 45 minutes. It was one hell of a 45 minutes. We talked & dress up for about 3-5 minutes and I left very satisfied. The 10-12 minutes left was irrelevant. I had a great time! I understood she had to see another client.

-- Modified on 7/6/2004 5:49:32 AM

I am not angry with my customers. I am merely stating a point that's been needing to be stated for a long time. In fact, I've had several providers PM me on this who were afraid to voice their opinion because of men like you who bash them for it. They said that they appreciated my post and it was long overdue. I exercise extreme professionalism toward my clients and don't know what you're getting at, my dear friend. If you understood what I was saying, which you said you did, then why are you even countering this post?  I understand the need for you to speak your opinion, but I think you could have done it more eloquently and not bash me for being honest. You have no idea what we go through on a weekly basis and sometimes we need to vent. Plus, men give their two cents every day on this board, so I'm giving giving mine.

Hugs,
Ciara

I've tried out several things in the past, but it's too bad that we have to act out things so we can leave. Most of the time my clients are later in the evenings, so trying to get them to work on time is out for me, but thank you for the wonderful suggestions. I love the way most of you write sympathetically and with great appreciation. Some others could take a lesson from you. I'm a straight shooter. I've always been honest, maybe too honest for some people. I try to do it with elegance and I even made the comment at the end of my post saying that this does not apply to everyone, but some people try to read between the lines and get upset. Go figure! I need to get out to LA and San Diego to see you and Sedona soon.

Hugs,
Ciara

Yipes! & Yuckie Muckie!

When will they ever invent fart and snore repellent?


Tally-Ho!

-- Modified on 7/6/2004 10:14:24 AM

Dear Ciara,

Let me state again that I am with you on this.  The written word, except in very skillful hands, tends to lack the emotion of the spoken work.  So let me say again, that I am with you and sympathetic.  While just about everybody seems to agree with you, I found your post a bit angry, as does your reply to me.  Your post will essentially disappear and be forgotten, and you will continue to see the same behavior from time to time, so just be forgiving and understanding.  I certainly don't mean to bash you, so please don't feel that way.

Also, I think I am pretty good at being sympathetic to other people, as that is a bit part of what I do for a living.  So, I do appreciate what you go through and the tremendous frustrations of doing it well, at least reasonably so.  To state that one cannot understand what another goes through is to some extent deny our common humanity.

Well, I just may have to come your way and take you up on those hugs to get it right between us.

With great sympathy and truly understanding, be well, happy and content,

FS

Be objective too, my dear.  It needed to be stated (obviously) because I got responses from 26 providers about this post. That's what TER is all about. It's not just venting, it's about letting each other know what's acceptable. Like you said, words and feelings are different and are not always conveyed properly, although I didn't think I was bashing anyone. In fact, I stated (if you read it) at the end that this does not apply to everyone. It's a shame when people read through the lines. Let's get together and make it up. Wink!

Hugs,
Ciara