Suppose a guy gets himself on somebody's list, and the reasons are simply a misunderstanding or miscommunication, or something that really didn't warrant it. If he calls you and you decide not to see him because of the list, do you tell him why, or let him wonder, or just not get back to him at all? Obviously, we don't have access to these lists, so we wouldn't even know we were on one. Is there a way that this guy could find out why he's on someone's list, of course, without putting any provider in jeopardy? I don't think I'm on anybody's list, and can't think of a reason I would be. I'm just curious.
The only way a gent can find out he's on a DNS list is if some provider gets loose lips...no pun intended....and tells him. I would never ever tell a gent he is on a list. Can you imagine??? He is going back over ever lady he has seen....wondering who did it...assuming he knows...contacts that lady...she is now at risk. Good grief....most ladies know to keep their pouty sexy mouths shut, but for those that don't.......zip it.
I hadn't thought about that. I once told someone who had like 60 reviews that he was on a DNS list and he went psycho on me. In that case, I think whoever she was that posted it was safe, but this makes me think that it's a good thing I don't drop that info anymore. We live, we learn...
Katie
the minute a dangerous guy knows he's on a blacklist, he changes his name, his number and his M.O.
Then, every warning about him is as worthless as tits on a boar hog. (to paraphrase my Texan ancestors)
Hope this helps,
Kelly
http://www.discovertabu.com
won't effect your thoughts when a lady doesn't respond or is busy when you want to schedule a date.
It takes quite a bit to motivate a provider to place someone on a DNS list. Primarily due to ramifications if he did find out.
No, I don't worry about lists. I was just curious about the poor slob who got on one of them for totally unwarranted reasons. We all make mistakes, hobbyists and providers alike.
It does happen, unfortunately, but I'm sure they eventually find someone who will see them. Lord knows there's enough of us out there. Eventually, he may clear his name and not have too much of a problem in the future. But some guys can be bad with a provider and behave themselves with another...that's where thorough screening comes in. Safety & comfort level is key.
-- Modified on 1/29/2008 4:17:14 PM
The chances of somebody getting put on a DNS list for unwarranted reasons is slim.
Generally in local sectors, all the girls you have the option of seeing know each other pretty well and enough to know some motivations other girls may have. If one girl in the community known for starting drama posts a DNS about a guy that other girls will argue is fine, it becomes a matter of intuition. I've only seen that happen on issues of hygiene or flakiness.
If you havent raped anyone
havent ripped anyone off
Havent asked for bareback
Havent Tried to force back..
You didnt smack her around -
Then I wouldnt worry over it -
I wasn't worried, only curious, and I can say no to all of the above. I'm just a harmless old guy who loves women.
-- Modified on 1/29/2008 7:40:22 PM
Ditto to all three replies so far.
Most, and I stress MOST ladies are judicious in who they place on a DNS list, and do try to give gentlemen the benefit of the doubt. When they do decide to DNS a gentleman, the reason for adding their name is usually given, so that other women can see it was due to a NCNS, or due to violent behavior, or any other number of reasons, and can make their decision about whether to see him from there.
If I decide not to see someone because I found his information on a DNS list though, no I certainly won't tell him. To do so could put another lady at risk regardless of whether she is the one who submitted his name or not. If he thinks she put him on a DNS list, he may retaliate. Also, letting a gentleman know he has been added to a DNS list will do exactly what Tabu said - encourage him to change his name, his cell number and other information to get around the system.
where can i get this list. since i have taken my business into my own hands.
when I found out a prospective "friend" was sighted as Do Not See.
"Hi (so and so) thank-you for your interest in my sessions. Unfortunately at this time I am not accepting new clients. I can definitely let you know when I start up again."
I've never had any problem with that.
Then there are some in MN that are real scary. Those are the ones who have several different emails, handles, and names, and you just hope that you have all the info on them. Because if you respond at all you're in for a roller coaster ride. So if I already know that this email is from a known offender I just delete. If he emails again... delete and block.
That's why we don't accept phone calls from blocked or restricted numbers, and why we ask for so much info on the submission forms... safety, safety, safety.
But, if you play this game right and treat your ladies right, really... truthfully... you should have no problem what so ever. C'mon. It's not something you need to worry about if you are good to the people you meet.
IMHO.. and I know some ladies don't agree with me on this one.... it takes real horrible behavior to get on the black list. I think a lot of women are way more lenient than they would admit. I don't know of any frivolous postings to the black list.
(I'm saying, I don't personally know of any and I would never ever personally add anyone to that list just on a frivolous whim. And so, I don't personally agree that there is a poor innocent shlub who accidentally ended up there.)
Anyway, just my opinion.
Generally, if someone's on a list, I won't tell them. I did once and the guy exploded over email talking all kinds of shit. After that experience, I just don't tell a gent. Afterall, what would I say? I'm sorry, but apparently you treat some girls well, but you shorted this girl or you beat up so and so or you're listed as LE? Nope. It's just not the kind of email I'm prepared to write. I just cut all communication and that's that. If I have to, I give them some excuse and then let them forget about me.
Katie
As I wrote earlier, I was just curious from a previous thread that got me thinking about, "What if some poor slob got onto a list for completely unjustified reasons". I sincerely believe that I have nothing to worry about. I am a gentleman at all times, even though there are a lot of people who make it extremely difficult to maintain. I just figure that if I react negatively, they win, and I won't let that happen.
I feel sorry for the guy who's innocent and is on a DNS list due to some personal dispute, but most every provider is more ethical than that. They must protect themselves. I think ultimately, a provider who uses the lists maliciously will ultimately show that she's unreliable.
I'm in favor of any way the women have to protect themselves.
Well I've had people encourage that people (including myself) go on DNS lists due to expressing opinions (such as seeing providers when married is bogus... ) on a MESSAGE BOARD. because I will not hide behind an alias. Those reasons are crap. Otherwise I feel most people are on DNS for a specific reason and deserve it. I understand what Hungry is saying here though, as per my aforementioned reason. Why posting on the boards and being honest is a risk you take, I suppose.
-M