He was very sweet and knew just the right way to treat a lady. He was only 34 years old and was the victim of a car accident. I was shocked and upset and was at a loss for what I could do. Any providers want to share any thoughts on how similar situations have affected them??
-- Modified on 10/12/2004 1:47:59 PM
Please provide your e-mail. I would like to B/C you tomorrow.
xoxo,
Sola
my email is [email protected]
....its a shame when things like that happen. I guess for those that think its all about the money, they never consider the possibility that we may get somewhat attatched. I lost my first client that ever took me on a vacation with him from his ongoing battle with heart disease and its related problems. He was a smoker and a heavy meat eater that enjoyed the finer things in life to every degree. I used to joke with him about it, but I never dreamed really that it would take his life. And I really didnt imagine how much it would affect me in the long run. I believe it changed my perspective on how I view my clients and the true value of human life, and how short or long its existance can be depening on how the fates affect it.
But Im truly deeply sorry for you, because at least with mine he was aware of the problem. A car accident is such a horrible way to pass on...
My condolences...
Dani
You sound like you are a sensitive person, so I am sure you are feeling the loss.
I would think this would be a very difficult situation. If I may ask, how did you even find out what happened?
...was that his family sent a general email to everyone in his address book. Of course I was on that list. It was just sent yesterday. Too late for me to really do anything about it, but I was glad they took the time to notify everyone. I have no idea what I'd done if I'd known sooner. I have asked myself back and forth if I would have gone to the funeral. I'd have paid my respects and expressed my sorrow for his loss but would they have asked too many questions. There is alot to this story that is relevant here as to why it's hit me so hard and why I had such an emotional attachment to this person. I was the first person he'd ever....um.....well.... you know. He had a minor disability and that had prevented many civi girls from doing much with him. I've been around all sorts of health issues and things which might handicap an inidividual. I have friends and family with many of those things. I've worked as a nursing assisitant half my life. So this was not an issue for me or bothered me in the least. He'd never had a girl look at *HIM* and not his *HANDICAP* before. Some of the things he told me shocked me as to how some people react. We did everything he'd always wanted to do and loads more. Something as simple as taking a shower together meant so much to him. Nothing hiding or masking his disability. It was so minor I just could not fathom how people could be such as they are. It was barely noticable and I just could not understand what peoples problems were. I spent the entire drive home from the meeting practically in tears at the injustice of it all. But glad that I was not another of those people and that I could show him not all people are like that. And now he's gone. I have said this to a friend already but this world has robbed of a beautiful and caring person and will be lesser for his passing. I feel that loss as well as his family. I just wish more of his dreams had come true before it was too late. Sorry if I was rambling on here.
xoxo
katt
That was a sensitive and very touching account of your time with this man. You obviously contributed to making his life much more full, and while I know that it must hurt to know he has passed away, his spirit will always be with you. Feel it...remember him...and celebrate the beauty you shared together.
I am glad that his family let you know what happened, because I would think it would have been worse to just stop hearing from him completely. I don't know if you would want to do this, but if you do, I hope you are able to find out something about what has been done with him...if you want.
Peace, Katt
You gave the man an experience that he had never enjoyed. The fact that he had you on his address book, to me, is an indication of how much he valued you. I do not think that it is important to find out how he was taken care of in death and much as it is for you to think about and celebrate your great moments with him. The fact that his family notified you of his passing means, to me, that they are caring people and put him away in a dignified fashion.
to help him experience some of his dreams.
You made him happy and meant something to him.
You made a difference in his life. You may be a better person for knowing him. I know I am a better person for knowing you!
You are one of the rare genuine people in this crazy hobby that make it all worth while.
I'm here if you need to talk!
I am here if you need me.
As with many "firsts" in our lives, we remember them and treasure them. Always remember the good times you had and treasure them.
If you need us, you know everyone from Philly are just a call or email away.
Ken
All your wonderful words of help and support really mean alot to me. Thank you to all those who have replied already and for those who send in future. Good to know that so many wonderful people out there care.
xoxoxo
Katt
Sorry to hear about your loss, it's good to hear that it's not all about the money. I had a "relationship" with a provider that really made me forget it was a service and she went above and beyond...I thought providers such as her were far and few in between but I guess not. I am sure you were as special to him as he seems to be to you. Ladies like yourself are priceless.
Katt:
Please accept my most heartfelt condolences and sympathy.
I'm pretty hardbitten, but I read all of the posts and my eyes are welling up.
It's not just all about the benjamins. Providers are real people too and some like you form real and important parts of people's lives.
My SO, who I love dearly (and will marry in March of next year)is an ex-provider, I was a client,and I am and will be forever grateful that she came my way. Her tales of the "hobby" have
given me a truly new perspective on life and how precious it is.
Barbara had the same thing happen to her (heart attack) about
4 years ago...
She and I both send our sympathies, and we ask (if it is possible) that you extend them to his family as well.
TF