I suppose I get why TER might want to keep things the way they are now but wondering what others think.
I don't have VIP and, me personally, don't really feel a need for it so no longer buy it and stopped reviewing several years ago so no complementary days. But I do get the occational PM showing up that I won't have access to so have no idea who it's from or why it was sent. Still, I kind of feel bad not being able to do anything but ignore the messages.
Posting a "Hey if you sent me a message I cannot respond" to various boards seems rather egotistical -- as if anyone here feels they just must have some response from me. But am wondering in general about what people think of the current functionality. I know in the past I've PMs someone I don't "know" and never received a response and that never bothered me. I suspect others are largely the same. But would it be nice to get a response that said "The message you send is to an account that cannot currently read your message -- do you still want to send it?" or something to that affect?
For others like me that don't keep VIP, would you prefer not even seeing the message count when you log in?
It isn't meant to be convenient, they want you to think you are missing out on something and that you should pay for VIP in order get a feature.
I have VIP and pay for it but PMs/DMs are the least useful feature. If I want to reach out to a provider I will use their contact info on their ads/websites or their booking forms. Interactions with other "hobbyists" over DM are usually unpleasant so I avoid talking to them 1-on-1 as well. I stick to talking shit on the forums.
To be fair, you are a negative ROI customer. You don't pay or leave any reviews. There aren't tons of ads or pop-ups to support the site either. You use the forum at your leisure and gather information while giving little, if anything in return. TER is paying for servers you use for free. Why do you expect this site to cater to you when they don't make any money on you?
For me, that is one of the best features of VIP. Some ladies, albeit less than 4-5 years ago, can verify you that way but much more importantly is having access to a providers reviewers, as that is where I get my much needed info re: compatibility with a woman.
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I honestly can't remember having any "unpleasant" convos over PM but maybe there was 1 or 2. In my experience, when someone returns my PM, 99% of the time it is very cordial. Not doubting your experiences but why/how would it get "unpleasant?"
Everyone has their own experiences. In general I've had issues with rude/crude language and guys asking for a lot (information/recs) while offering little in return (have no recs, have no info).
But some new guys need help, dont have much to give, if anything, so I take those on a case by case basis. And some guys are a bit crude, I will grant you that as well. I guess I just tend to ignore those guys, especially the ones that are overly so. Thanks for your reply.
I was not asking about why TER might do so -- I agree that doing this can create the incentive you suggest and clearly implied that in my comment -- but as asking how the general community finds this situation. If you message someone and they don't have VIP (and you might not know that) so never respond is that anoying to you? Would you like to know before sending it that you are sending to someone that will not be able to respond (unless they want to get VIP)?
As for your BS about me being a negative for TER, I've gotten plenty of VIP days (generally unusued and sometimes, as was the case for the 2 days that just expired) by making contributions to TER they felt was were worthy of compensation. I don't help for the VIP, but to help keep quality of reviews up or safety of personal information preserved.
I am sure you are aware that everything you said is the whole reason TER wants you to pay for VIP. I don't think you wondering what is in the message is egotistical, but the whole reason you get the message is for you to wonder what it says and then plunk down the money to pay for VIP. This site runs on people paying for VIP, so they are not going to change the messaging system at this time. Same reason you have to pay to read the juicy details. I don't give two shits what is in another provider's reviews, so not something I would pay for. Interestingly though it is free for a provider to post an ad, which as a provider is something I would be willing to pay for.
My personal take away from a business perspective:
Put ads on the site to generate profit. If people don't want to see the ads they can pay for the VIP that will also allow full reading of the reviews and no ads. Allow provider comments/context on reviews. I know that scares some clients that have extremely low self esteem, but trust me, if providers can handle the reviews, you can handle the comments. Put your big boy panties on, you an do this!! Make this site more provider friendly!!
Allow providers to post a basic ad for free but they can upgrade for a charge.
The messaging should be free regardless of plan participation.
This would all be a good start.
As always,
stay sane and stay safe
Scarlet
I’m actually the opposite, I do like having access to other providers reviews, but I typically use this to learn about the reviewer, not necessarily the provider.
I like to understand what a potential client enjoys and will look for clues from their previous reviews. This allows me to first determine if we will be compatible - no sense booking if the services desired and provided aren’t similar. It also gives me a feel for their attitude overall. Finally if they show history that concerns me such as saying they engaged in BBFS in the past, I can decline the appointment.
If I feel we are in fact a good fit, then I can get a great feel for what works for that client, and tailor my session around their preferences. It’s in win/win in my opinion.
more providers don’t utilize reviews as you do.
Of course, it means that the prospective client would need to share their TER handle that has their reviews, or their email used with that handle, with the provider when asking for an initial session. I share my email and will share the handle that I use for my reviews if requested (also it’s in my P411 profile). I figure, as you mentioned, it will help the provider determine compatibility, and gives them a feel for my attitude towards providers. If they don’t like what they see in my reviews, it’s just as well we don’t get together.
it's a nice thought, but for those of us that maintain anonymity when reviewer, it would be nearly impossible to implement on a regular basis.
So I believe in utilizing a variety of methods to pre-screen/screen clients. No one approach will work for all.
Clearly in your case, the review approach isn’t appropriate, so I would need to rely on other methods of determining compatibility and comfort level.
This also allows me to decide whether to respond to an ISO post and similar, there are times I simply choose not to reach out based on review history.
But I do wonder, what is the big advantage you see to maintaining anonymity? As my first thought is to ask what you are hiding? Not being accusatory, I am sincerely curious. It seems to me that it would help having ladies know your preferences, at least somewhat, in advance, so as to have the best possible sessions.
A friend of mine was a prominent reviewer. He had a review of a "Top 100" provider whom another girl wanted to remove from the list in order to move up the list herself. So she got personal info on the guy and outed him, forcing him to remove all this reviews. Who knows how many times this was done. Is this an extreme way of accomplishing her mission? Yes. And yet, it happened. My friend could never prove a thing and has been inactive here ever since.
Just an FYI, if you are expecting an honest answer from him you are not going to get it.
We are engaging in an illegal activity and if we get caught it would hurt our reputation, career and relationships with family/friends/lovers. That alone is enough to hide to the general public.
There are tons of horror stories out there from the client perspective. I've been harassed multiple times over reviews that were positive but not positive enough or mentioned that pictures were a few years or pounds out of date. There are tons of stories of extortion threats and harassment. So you ask what are we hiding? We aren't hiding, we are protecting our personal lives and safety.
There are risks on both sides of the transaction and people need to do whatever they feel necessary to protect themselves or simply don't play.
I hate when providers play dumb and are intentionally obtuse on this subject. It is one of those things that gets a provider put on the permanent no-book list. It is insane that some providers expect me to be fine with handing over my DL and employment information while they have no reviews, no social media and no website. If a provider requires personal ID and a 25% deposit but has no reviews, automatic no book. You want me to be comfortable with my info out there but aren't comfortable with yours being out there? FOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If someone has no reviews, no social media, no website, and wants a deposit along with your screening info that is not a provider, that is a scam.
But I can't, I feel exactly the same as you do on each of your points. In my case, I'm a high profile professional who is
well-regarded in my community and that is why I cannot allow myself to have my real ID connected to these illegal activities. Hence the creation of my alter ego, CDL, an equal-opportunity asshole that could never reasonably be associated with my real life persona.
I admit that there have been some providers I chose not to see because of their policy of requiring real-life ID, but there are still plenty of providers that will see me based on good references from other providers. All they have on me is my hobby first name and my burner cell number. I get stellar references and I always tip generously, so it keeps the reference-train moving along the tracks.
420Smoka4Eva, I am thinking you may have misunderstood my comment/question. When I asked what clients were hiding, I was referring to their TER persona, NOT to any real life information.
I was not considering that you would be harassed over reviews as that is simply not something I would do. The times that I have received less than glowing feedback I like to consider that as constructive criticism IF it was truly warranted.
I get the impression that you have had many negative experiences with providers from your posts and I’m sorry but please do not assume that we are all the “bad guy” as that it simply not the case.
Thanks for your feedback, and yes, this is an excellent way to determine compatibility with a protentional client. I live in a rural area in which there are few providers so if a gent want to see someone it is going to be me or he is going to have to travel to a bigger city. But yes, in the past I have turned down several clients because of the very demeaning and derogatory way they spoke about a provider. Also if a guy has written reviews for 20+ providers and every one if them is very negative pretty much a sure thing that nothing is going to satisfy the guy. Thanks for adding to the discussion!!
Not sure show complicated/expensive that would be to fix on TERs side. But as to your issue...why not write "PRs" i.e. problem reports and get 2 free days so you can see and respond to your mail?
I would prefer that when I try to send a message, before I type it all out, I see a warning that the person will not be able to read my message. I get that cluttering their inbox might entice them to get VIP, but it’s also a disservice to those that have VIP.
Thanks for actually reading and understanding the post.
And you'd been making such nice progress.
Too bad.
Smile for me.
-- Modified on 5/21/2024 12:59:31 PM
What's the deal with you and CDL here? Nobody cares about this crap except you two pedantic nerds. Is any of this relevant to a provider's performance? You're clogging up the board with your lame comments because putting a provider down over grammar makes you feel better about yourself? This is loser shit. Your crappy attitudes are why providers have no review policies and choose to delist more and more.
There's little enough that goes on here these days without some like you trying to tell us what we can and can't say. So lemme 'splain it to ya: we communicate on this board using the written word. There are certain rules pertaining to the written word so that we communicate clearly and effectively. When those rules are broken it's harder to communicate.
Also, people who try to portray themselves as intelligent but then misuse the language come across as ignorant and low class. And THAT really IS "loser shit."
Now go smoke a blunt and mellow out.
Conan the Gramarian has been a long standing member of the community. He just cannot post all the time some sometimes others in the community help out.
While I suck as spelling and typing and am far from a master of grammar myslf I don't really mind when someone points out my lacking as it can help me improve myself on some level. What's wrong with that?
What I find really funny is that Eva comes on her and calls people losers and other derogatory things while using her alias. Come on babe, cowgirl up and use your handle if you’re going to act like a tough girl.
the new people who have been posting here ten minutes, and who know none of us that have been exchanging barbs and quips on this board for YEARS, come here and try to tell us how we are all doing this wrong, and then hides behind an alias while doing it. Do you have a stick up your ass all the time or just when you are posting here?
I think I understand what you’re saying and I don’t think you’re being egotistical. It’s not “oh I’m so important that somebody’s gonna be lost in the woods until I answer their PM; I must find them.” It’s more like “hey one of y’all sent me something, just know I can’t see who or read the message. I’m not being a dick.”
Anyways yes I’d love it if the site could show me that I’m about to PM someone who can’t read it. A warning message upon hitting send like you mentioned would help, but even better if I knew BEFORE I wrote it. Maybe a pop up when you start the PM: “Message will not be read unless recipient upgrades to VIP.”
Better still would be the ability to tell in the boards. A symbol next to the handle or a different color font or something to denote vip vs basic. Sometimes somebody asks for a recommendation or something like that and I just would feel more comfortable weighing in on PM but I don’t know if the person has it.
It’s all a pipe dream but it would be nice. I know they’re not going to do it because they want that social pressure that you feel (they’re gonna think I’m not answering cause I’m a jerk) to encourage people to get vip. Also the curiosity factor of basics receiving PMs and wanting to know what it’s about. So they’re not going to do anything to stop us from unknowingly trying to PM basic members. (Which as Zeel said seems like a disservice to vip members)
A bounce back message after sending sounds like a good compromise in that regard. The basic member still might get curious enough about the PMs they’re getting to upgrade, but the VIPer who sent it knows not to expect a response. Not the most ideal but would be appreciated.
Like you, it doesn’t bother me when I don’t get a response from people I don’t know. Maybe he’s worried about discretion or something, maybe isn’t vip, maybe he’s just a dick LoL. People have their reasons.
It's already implemented for an alias so one might think the effort to extend it to VIP status would be pretty simple.
Yeah, but I don’t think difficulty is the reason we don’t have it. It boils down to marketing. The coding would reduce the number of PM’s being sent to basic members which would reduce the impetus to become VIP.
Number 1 for the reviews. It also helpful for screening. Several providers in the past have asked me to send them a PM to prove who I am.
I'd say 90% of the PM's I get could have been said publicly in the forums.
Honestly, it has been the case with me. Some people I know on here who post on other sites/forums and those places usually dont put the pm feature behind a pay wall.
Since we can never be sure that both of us have vip at the same time its just easier to use a medium in which there could never be a black hole (sender side) or some unknown pms from someone (receiver side)
Not that I dislike TER for this, as someone has mentioned there are no ads really and a clean look, and since they provide complimentary review vip days they gotta make some money somewhere.
Still sometimes without vip I could get frustrated because not only are the new pms hidden, but so are the old ones. And even my own reviews, I cant view them the same way anyone else publicly can. I have to view them through my reviews interface.
The popup that tells you that users cannot current reply back is not a bad solution, but it does give off information that currently is not available publicly - unlike some other sites that may parade the vip status of a reviewer or member, ter doesn't disclose to other members who's vip or not. So not sure if they'd be willing to disclose that. I agree it would make life a whole lot better.
Plus, Id say there are some edge case situations where such message might discourage one from sending pms, even though the person might have vip lapsed just for a day or something. Certainly if ter sees pm system as a selling point, I think unread unknown pms in the inbox would give some incentive to pony up for vip. Hence it might be working as intended for them 
-- Modified on 5/22/2024 1:31:46 AM
because there has never been a time when I didn't have VIP. but it would be helpful for those of us who ARE VIP to get a notification back when we send a message to a member without VIP. I understand why TER wants to notify YOU that some unidentified member is trying to send you a PM in order to encourage you to upgrade your membership, but once I KNOW a member doesn't have VIP, it would be great to not waste my time sending them multiple repeat messages during a time they don't have VIP. This is the problem with members who move in and out of VIP membership. Other VIP's that you may have PM'd with in the past don't know if you are still getting the messages or just being rude and not responding, because there is no notification that you are no longer VIP.
So if you see an alias posted something on the forums today, the chances are excellent that he or she still has VIP and will see your pm.
Obviously, it's only applicable to very few people who actually post on the boards, do it under an alias and in general post a good amount.