I have a hobby friend who i see fairly regularly.  I  bought him something very small...nothing major at all.  But,  it was an attempt to make him happy.  He in no uncertain terms told me to my face if I really liked him i would have gone out of my way to get him  blank.  I am overall a straight shooting kind of gal.  But,  I am also genuine and very kind to everyone. Takes quite a bit to infuriate me.  This did!   I  kept my cool and carried on.  Just not sure how to proceed. I really want to wreck him. Right or wrong that's my mindset because the wound is fresh. The nice person in me says just let it go and never revisit that again.  So ladies and gentlemen what would you do if you did go out of your way to get a little token of affection for one of your regular friends and they threw it in the garbage and told you it wasn't good enough?

directed at some insignificant ungrateful asshole. You'll be a better person for it.

END OF MESSAGE

If it bothers you that much, and YES it would bother me too, the next time he tries to book an appointment with you simply tell him you don't have time as you are spending all your time searching for the right "blank" to buy him, but you are having such a difficult time locating one that you might be unavailable for quite some time.

Either that or you could simply tell the ungrateful douche bag to fuck off like I would. Your choice, but I kind of like my first idea better.

Sorry, we could claim "clueless men" forever, but we're not really that clueless. The thought really does count, and the gesture, no matter how small, should light up a guy's day.  

I once got pez dispenser for a bday gift... I loved it. (Long story there).

Sorry, but entitlement belongs NOWHERE in p4p or in gift giving.

SMH.

is to simply ignore him.  Not only will it prevent you from saying or doing something that is below you.  But he will quickly get what he deserves from you..........silence.........not one more thought, not one more breath..........NOTHING!

Now that you know what kind of person he truly is.........you do not want to waste anymore of your time/energy on him.

-- Modified on 2/9/2016 7:08:54 AM

A week has passed and I still want to tell him how I really feel. The problem lies here ~> Once the flood gates open  I will make him feel really bad about himself. Two wrongs will never equal a right.  Yes, his next date request he will be going alone.  settled thanks GG I appreciate it

Well, your highness I bought you a gift....wait until I leave to pitch it please lmao

It's important to remember that we make a lot of friends here who are in the hobby due to a catastrophic lack of social graces. Not saying it's everyone, of course, but I think every provider has met at least one guy who could easily get women...except that he says things that are just so wrong. All. The. Time.  

Personally, I wouldn't unfriend him entirely, but there would be a bit of a time out.  If nothing else, for me to simmer down.

-- Modified on 2/9/2016 7:23:43 AM

I may have to make his emails rubber so I am not even tempted to lash out. Who does that?  Fuckin douche nozzle!

are you in love with this guy?

but sometimes getting shit off your chest makes you feel SO much better.

Some people will always tell you to take the "high road" and I agree that sometimes that's the "adult" way to handle things, but other times you just need to get shit off your chest, otherwise it can eat away at you, turning you into one of those "bitter and angry" people that populate these boards. Once you've dealt with something or somebody there is no longer any reason to dwell over it. and if you can have a good laugh at his expense, HE will be the one dwelling over this shit, long after you have moved on and forgotten about it.

He's a first-class asshole. If a provider gave me a little gift, even a cookie, I'd be delighted. That he doesn't value the thought you put into this says everything about him.

Don't look back.

Ignoring him i can do effortlessly  just as he tossed my gift in the garbage

You're upset because of the way he diminished your effort to make him feel better. Instead of lashing at him for his childish and immature reaction to your efforts. Maybe you should make a mental note that as much as you care for a client, maybe a client should remain that. A client. They are not your friends. What do you expect from telling him how you feel? That he goes out and buy you flowers? His reaction to you letting him know how you feel may make you even more upset. I would just move on with my life and next time he tries to see you, just give him a very special rate that just sends a clear message that you won't be seeing him again.  

He already upset you with with his ingratefulness. Don't let him make you more vulnerable than you already feel. Just my 0.02

I would be quite offended in the case you describe. I feel that a gift of your compassion is worth way more than any gift of monetary value.

I think if I were in your position, I wouldn't want to spend any more time in his presence. I know for certain if I got a gift for a provider out of compassion and she reacted the way your friend did, I would never see her again. Of course I have no idea if you need his business, if so you may wish to be more mechanical, and not show him the compassionate side of you any further.

It's simply a matter of respect, my Mother taught me to respect everyone, until they give me a reason not to.

Think it's OK to treat people any way they feel like at that moment.  Ya see the  fucked up part  imo  is  I had just received a text from my son telling me that he will be deployed to Iraq soon.  So I took a walk to breathe and picked up something in my travels for him.  Again nothing crazy.  So I was already emotional and then he kinda kicked me when I didn't need it.  I was emotionally shaky as it was.  But,  being paid not to be.  So,  I  sucked it up and cried when I got home.

the only reason someone would be so adamant about what they got for a gift imo is that they have super strong emotions invested in the giver.

for your own sake i'd break off all communication with him stat.  

if you have to get something off your chest, don't do it in an angry way.  try to be calm and rational if you are telling him how you felt about his rejection of your gift.  then never talk to him again.

i usually say this about bitches, but, pricks be crazy!

a provider once gave me a rose as she got into my car for our dinner date.  i was flabbergasted and flattered.

even when we went up to her incall for the dessert, and i saw a bouquet of the same roses on her table, and i realized she just grabbed one on her way out to my car earlier.  i still treasured that rose.

call me a hopeless romantic, but i still have that dried up rose on my dresser.

the op's client is a jerk.

very good advice sasha    thank you xo

factually we are all human. I can easily hurt his feelings...he is an easy target. I don't though because he up until now has been nice to me. I am trying to think that maybe something awful is going on in his world and I should just send him a note saying what you did hurt my feelings and i hope you never treat me like that again.  rather than turn this into a mail blocking i hate you thing.

END OF MESSAGE

.."You are dead to me". It is much more than not seeing him or responding to his texts/emails. Since he is dead, he no longer exists and what has disappeared with him are all the anger and resentment you felt. Likewise the need to vent to him. You can't. He is dead. It works. Believe me.

Just how important is his business to you, and can you afford to kick him to the curb?

I will concede that some men are just boorish, insensitive pigs that simply "don't get it" which is why many of them NEED to hire hookers as their lack of social skills prevent them from attracting anyone they are not paying to be there.  

If you still need his business, Maybe an uninspired, toothy blow job, combined with a very distant and uninvolved attitude might be the wake up call he needs?  

Some people are just rude, I sincerely hope you are in the financial position to remove such people from your life.

This is just the first time he has been rude to me.  Mind you the date was over at this point.

he will climb the walls if you ignore him.  Do not give him the power to affect you.  He has proven he is not worth it.

Best way to deal with somebody

First of all, I want to applaud you on your understanding the client/business relationship. Many here have it ass backwards so your effort is appreciated, if by none other than by me.

The girl I see every week now has YET to come empty handed to our sessions. Its often something small. She has brought a bottle of wine, a fruit arrangement basket, a $25 gift card to Starbucks, she baked cookies one time, brought me dinner, etc. It is ALWAYS appreciated as that is her way of showing me she actually gives a shit and is appreciative of the things I have done for her.

There are certain people in this world who "get it" and others that never will. YOU get it, this dude you refer to does not.

As far as what you should do, that is a larger discussion. Does he generally treat you like a POS or was this a one off type thing i.e. a good guy who screwed up this one time?

Granted, this is a pretty big fk up and "good" guys generally don't scoff at gifts of any nature.

If you can afford to give him his walking papers, do so. If not, AND he is a respectful client otherwise, hang in there.

But something tells me this guy will disrespect you again. Just a hunch.

Don't let that change you. If you feel compelled to gift the next guy, do so. My guess is it will be much more appreciated.

Again, hat tip to you for trying. You get JD's seal of approval.

You obviously like this guy or you wouldn't have extended the lovely gesture of a gift. Gifts show intent and thought and really shouldn't be measured. Strike 1, 2 3.  

So the knee jerk reaction is to dump him maybe, not quite sure I'd shank him tho ... lol.  

I believe you should step away, reevaluate how and what happened, and then follow your heart and your gut. If it means cutting him off temporarily or permanently, only you know best, because you know what kind of relationship that you have.  

Wishing your son a safe trip and a speedy return. I salute him

It's some people in this hobby that forget we are human first.
Just stay true to who you are and don't let him get to you!
 

Erin, any gift from a provider is truly that, a GIFT. I wish I knew someone as thoughtful as you!

was it you got him and what was the blank he wanted.

all she gave me was this crappy fox stole. NO WAY TO RUN A BUSINESS !

if I like someone I let them know it...if I appreciate someone I let them know it...I just sent one of my friends who lives way up in ebf maine a ROKU  so he can be semi modern in the woods lol...This is the first time the person in question has been a shit to me...I sent him a brief email and told him what he said to me hurt my feelings and I would appreciate it if he never spoke to me like that again...his response will tell me everything I need to know.  The gift I bought for my secret crush hobby guy is slightly more elaborate but very bostonian and judging from his character via email he will enjoy it and appreciate it.  I don't gift to receive something in return. But for the love of Pete don't pitch it in front of my face. Bosfriend can attest to how good of a gifter I am . I am an excellent gifter! Thanks for recognizing that I get IT Jack.  I was raised properly to never show up empty handed to someones elses soiree.

nothing crazy  just a littler something

END OF MESSAGE

So, I was abroad on business in a country that is hot and humid and I spent several days with the same lady.   My last day/night there, before going out to eat and dance, she excused herself from the hotel for about an hour and half and came back with a pair of cargo shorts and a polo shirt, the ones that have the HUMUNGOUS pony.   She wanted to give me a gift and for our last night out, she also wanted me to be comfortable.  So there I am, going to dinner and the bars in my cargo shorts, the polo shirt with the huge pony and my loafers.

Truth be told, I would not get caught dead in a pair of cargo shorts nor would I ever wear a polo shirt with the gaudy polo.   Not only did I happily wear the outfit that night, I still have the polo and the shorts.  I know that I will never wear them again but I cannot bring myself to throw them out, they bring back good memories when I stumble upon them in the closet and throwing them out or giving them away does not seem right.    I know, very Mangina of me....

...you can borrow the one I reserve for those assclowns who tell natural redheads to "get a tan".

If I were on your jury, you'd walk free too.

But seriously, this guy has a screw or two loose - most likely he has Asperger's Syndrome which among other things prevents a person from feeling what another person's reaction would be to some action of theirs.  The classic comeback from such a person is:  Well, it's true, isn't it?

So, either adjust your expectations of this person if you can, or be rid of them because this will not be the last time you'll get this kind of treatment.

Honesty and manners are both good, but most people prefer the latter over the former.

(still not a psychologist)

in real life I wouldn't give this guy the time of day. He as a rule is super sweet. He has no social skills whatsoever. He is afraid of his own shadow. He cant even make a dinner reservation. Now, you know me...type A squared right lol. This is not my dream date. I like a go getter! I don't want a dreamer I want a DOER. He has all kinds of health issues. There is no sex involved. It is just companionship. I'd be lying if i said i didnt have fun going to the movies et cetera. He is  maybe was my friend. But, he pays me an exorbitant amount of money to hang out with me. Thats it! Yes, I do appreciate that he paid for my cruise. ABSOLUTELY!  I appreciate what every man contributes to my life. I am a woman that loves men. Jesus, most days I look at the mirror and tell myself   YOU ARE THE MOST BLESSED WOMAN ON THE PLANET EARTH!  Oh yes, out loud! I am not going to shank him...I have never even been in a fight lol...I am a dominant lovah lol

about some jewelry.  She still wonders why I never gave her any more....

Some folks are just clueless.

The type of person you are really dealing with.   It takes a long, long time to truly know someone.  Move away quickly, and be happy you found out.  Don't waste your time trying to get even, just let it go and move on.

I have had this same thing happen to me; I tried to excuse, rationalize, or simply accept that kind of horrible behavior.  That was a bad idea.

I wouldn't wear it either.  But the woman went out to get something for you out of the kindness of her heart and that's cool.  Very cool in fact and thanks for sharing.

And you are 100% correct as his next response, if there is one, will tell you all you need to know.

Btw if you know where haiku went please send me a pm

Why it went off, who knows?  The OP wasn't modified.  Did the mere passage of time make it palatable to the Powers That Be?
Welcome to TER Bizarro World.

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE

Any gift should be accepted graciously, whether you like it or not.  This guy was just flat out wrong.  If any of my ATF/regulars gave me a gift, no matter how small a token, it would make me smile and and I would cherish it.  How old was this guy anyway...sounds pretty immature.

uh oh...here it comes....women's ultimate come back......

"You suck at sex.  I faked every orgasm and your dick is so small I really can't feel it inside me!!!!!"

go get 'em girl

 

second time they have killed one of my posts and then put it back up    im getting a complex

I have a lot of history with these gentlemen. Some over ten years. If I genuinely like you , I genuinely like you. Man, woman, dog...I will occasionally give a gift...and if invited to your home or something of the like i do not show up empty handed...old tradition in my family...maybe it's a generational thing. In the hobby, my regulars spend thousands and thousands of dollars on ME. Jeesh the least I can do is show a little appreciation.  Of course you have the assholes who expect the world for nothing. that's on my blog now. and another topic all together. Anyway, I am paast this. It's old news now. I could give two shits about limp dick today. I've got enough real life problems without worrying about him. I do appreciate everyone making me feel better. Sans the darth vader post. lol

to get me  blank, I would have replied, if you really liked me, you would have been gracious and just said THANK YOU. Then I would have said my vagina could get wet for him today if my life depended on it and I would given him his $$$ back and showed him the door. On the his way out, I'd say drop me an email when you've found your manners.

What an ungrateful douchey move on his part.

Steph

PS... Tell him to build a website with a gift page!

 

Screw that! Put him on your DNS list and go No Contact. That's the only thing these A Holes understand.  

Yes, this is a business, but then again, it's more than that because of the service you provide. When someone shares intimacy, they deserve to be treated with respect.  No exceptions.  Obviously you're a person who cares and makes a genuine effort to please and respect her clients, and that make you a special person in this business.  I would hate to see you lose that approach.  As someone older, I would recommend you walk away.  Life is more than money. Really. I can see how this would bother you the next time you see him, and the times after, regardless of what his email response it.  And if you hardened because of this, it might change the way you feel about your other clients.  Don't allow this guy to diminish you as a person.

He has made contact   im going with silence

I  don't tan   I  pink   im  kickin it Asian style this summer   spf 4500 &  an umbrella in the city  lol

He is already there drew.  Btw are you from the north or the south.  Every time I see your name I get a visual.  Just curious 😊

END OF MESSAGE

Haiku: Gift to tongue
Always made me so happy
Now closed- know not why.

 
A web search shows them just disappearing.  The closest place with a name like that is in Scarsdale New York.

But Baba's just down the street, is pretty decent for the Japanese food, in any case

END OF MESSAGE

From the North, but live in the South. So that makes me a Damn Yankee.  

Different ends of the spectrum .... I think 😓

The ones from her gallery display a lady with natural-looking red hair and a fair complexion, no?

I imagined you with a  southern drawl anyway 😊

I was actually reaching for the lamb/beef dish I had there when we went.  I've  thought of it often and never seen it again.  Was hoping they'd moved close by.  Ty

Yes  snow white skin and red hair

Saw this message late...  

Yes, I was the lucky recipient of a generous gift from Erin in appreciation for a small favor I provided. I thought it was a kind gesture, extremely considerate, and demonstrates the kind of classy lady she is.  

(And I don't let her forget that I haven't forgotten it!) 😉

I've had guys melt when I bring a cheese platter or make them a goodie bag to take back to work. Or even a damn shot glass.  

Fuck that ungrateful bullshit. LOL!

Great song  so  upbeat and poppy