TER General Board

What should I do?
salivate 3 Reviews 5075 reads
posted

Meet with a provider last month for multi-hour session and had a great time. Mentioned opportunity to see her again this month for another multi-hour meeting but longer. Also stated desire to see her on a regular basis. She was all for it. E-mailed her next day with plans which she ok'ed and put on her schedule. The plan was, of course, based on her fees listed on her website.

Now, I learn that she has increased her rates just days before our meeting and I am expected to pay the higher rate. Since I never negotiate fees, ask for a discount, or for that matter discuss fees at all, where do I go with this. I would have thought that the fee would have been held to when I "contracted" a meeting, which was weeks ago. Also, providers often hold the fee for regular or established clients. This has cast a negative aura over the session coming up in 2 days and I am not sure whether or not to proceed with it. Should mention I am fairly generous and told her of a gift in advance to buy an outfit. At the same time, she informed me about the rate change. Doesn't appear to be a good business move on her part, or is this plain greed.

CentrumSilver2640 reads

That would be a smart business move for her, there. But, if you feel you dont' want to pay the new rate, make sure to let her know upfront, before going a head as scheduled. Maybe she will readjust her rate for you, in order to keep your business. Fingers crossed here for you!

Thanks for great input. Before I read most of the replies, I called an old friend who is in town and asked for the provider side to this. She agrees with all of you. We were going to meet for a friends' lunch. Instead I booked with her for the whole day and night for the price of a few hours with miss greedy, who just got a cancellation e-mail. My provider friend has always treated me very special and I have treated her the same. When "they" get out their hourglasses and watch the sand pile to the bottom, I'm gone.

I think you should have asked.  I list prices higher for new clients.  Since I have so many regulars I really don't need new clients, and they are a risk.  I am not greedy.  I just don't want to create more email than I can answer.

Sorry, but I wasn't a new client. Had meeting at posted fee and schedule a second meeting within 2 days for a month later, plus we both agreed that we would see each other on a regular basis. She raised her fee just days before meeting and expected me to pay the higher fee despite fact that we made the arragement weeks before. I did ask what fee was I being held to and her answer was the new, higher fee. I don't need to see her and obviously she doesn't need to see me.

SirPrize2455 reads

It is also incredibly shortsighted and stupid on her part.

Not grandfathering in your rate is greedy, but somewhat acceptable.

Changing the rate after you have booked is greedy and completely unacceptable.

The only question is, are you going to be just as stupid and accept being treated this way?

If you reward her by going through with the appointment, then you only have yourself to blame. If you do, expect her to always think of you as what you have proven yourself to be, a dumb ATM machine willing to be taken advantage of.

It sounds like she either 1)doesnt care and this is strictly a business transaction or 2)Is too dumb or insensitive to appreciate that you might have a thought about this transaction too. We all must remember providers dont really know our financial situations and could assume the extra funds are really no big deal to us. The reality is, of course, different from one guy to another.
If you really care for her give her a chance by telling her what you layed out for us here. If you dont, consider yourself lucky and move on. Sorry if this seems a little cold.....Best of luck to you.

IM.Lurker1743 reads

to hold her rates at what you initially saw her at.  Also, she should realize you will be a regular with mulitple hour meeting opportunity, not to mention lavishing her with gifts.  If she is so densed and greedy to expect you to pay the new rates, talk to her up front about it.  If she still feel you need to pay her new asking rate, then this woman see you as a walking ATM and doesn't value your 'relationship' as a regular.  Then cut your loses and move on.  There are plenty of ladies who will treat regulars with respect and special considerations that really make them feel special!  My 2 cents.

Just had the same experience myself.  A provider who previously charged me $250 for a marginally competent sexual experience (w/out BJ) just let me know that if we visit this weekend, it will be at her new rate, $300/hour.

To be honest, 22-year olds aren't really my bag and now I sense I'm viewed as a "walking ATM."  Her business is very slow right now and I was just trying to help her out (I already have an upcomming visit with a really great 38-yar old provider who's worth every penny of the $300/hour she charges.  AND, she's not obsessed with the clock and always leaves with a nice $20 tip plus a gift).

I'm not going to explain this to the 22-year old.  She has access to the boards, supposedly understands supply and demand here in San Diego and ought to have a little more common/business sense, IMHO.

-- Modified on 8/12/2004 10:35:14 AM

I would be happy to proceed with our next meeting at the lower rate but not the new rate. If she finds that acceptable - then proceed as planned. If that won't work for her then - MOVE ON! There are lots of choices out there.

....no matter what. If you're going to spend your money on a nice evening it shouldn't be with any resevations. The negative feelings will filter into the evening one way or another unless the subject is brought out in the open beforehand.

While i don't really agree that only one visit will qualify someone as a regular or established client i do think that if a date has been scheduled and comfirmed it should take place at the rates that were in place at the time of confirmation.

Sorry, its strictly a matter of supply and demand.

The suppy of really great providers far outweighs the need to put up with this kind of crap.

Move on friend, there are always options.

Just my opinion and I could be wrong.
Loarthan

CentrumSilver2274 reads

Right now, you two are not seeing eye to eye, and that is to be expected. I am not sure how things ended between you (shouting, ranting, raving, harsh words?), and believe it or not, it's always best to end things on a friendly note :) Life is too short to be miserable, and sometimes we all need to cut our losses, and move on , gracefully. Sometimes, it's best not to get too negative about a person, and there may be circumstances, that are just beyond your control. You may never know, you and her could probably be friends, she may see you in another light, and give in to see you at the old rate. She may realize her error.

The reason why I say this to you, is because I was involved in a similiar situation years ago, and after some time had spent (there was harsh feelings between us for a bit), I ended up apologizing to him, and he accepted, and we actually laugh about it till this day. I must admit, I am glad that I did do the right thing by apologizing and admitting my mistake, for he and I are actually really good friends to this very day.

Sometimes, it's just best to walk away, let things simmer down, and admit the mistake...that can go for both parties.  Again, I hope it works out for the best for both of you.

But I have email'd my ATF to let her know that I wouldn't be able to meet due to the rate.  No hard feelings.

She understood, bumped it down, and we had a grand time.  The key to me is not negotiating.  Just let her know where you're coming from, and let her pass if she likes.

Yep, the appointment you made and agreed upon is already an unwritten contract with the old rate in mind. You have every right to cancel and tell her that you cannot do with the new rate, as you made the appointment with the old rate. But be polite and friendly and tackful and tell her the reality of your situation. When my ATF called me, I just said that I've spent my money on a 2 week vacation - so that's that. She understood. Some people, like my SO, thinks that money grows on trees - it does not ... hehe .. we work hard for it.

Actually, I don't work anymore but the stock market woes have eaten into my investments big time. Suppose I wouldn't have cared if I hadn't taken losses the last couple of weeks, coupled with college tuition due and other expenses of life. Escort dollars are last on the priority list. If market doesn't improve soon, I'll be dating myself LOL.

Insurance advertise that when you lose your SO, you need insurance money to compensate for the loss of your SO. I think if my SO pass away ahead of me, I would get a lifetime annuity and put the insurance I collect there - the monthly income I'd use for hobbying LOL.  If you have a $100K in annuity, I guess that's about $500/month - money for Hobby.

I guess I am mirroring the consensus:  

I would email her and just say politely that you were planning with the old rate in mind, and tell her that you need to cancel.

There is no reason to generate any ill will.  Its just time to move on.

Good luck.

Did that and just received an e-mail from her saying she understood. No ill will but no admission of error on her part but didn't expect one.

When does someone become a regular is a better question. I bet this varries from provider to provider. I doubt if many will call you a regualr before you've had regualr meetings together. You had the PROMISE of being a regular.  But had only seen her once and had said that you would have liked to become a regualr client. The facts as you state do not make you her "regualr client"

I think she didnt give you the lower rate because she still considered you a "New Client". Or she didnt really care or enjoy for your time together and if you didnt want to pay her rate she'd move on to someone who did want to pay her rate, and not have to deal with a cleint she really wasnt thrilled to see again but would because the price was right.

i dont think you did her any harm by canceling you may have made an uncomfortable situation for her eaiser now she doesnt have to tell you she dosent want to see you.

We must not forget that we call these women "pros" for a reason. they are not a prom date, a lover we have to impress and seduce. we want a sure thing then get all miffed when they "act too professional"

after reading a new slurry of reviews where so many good women are back-hanedly slammed, where the text of the review dose not reflect the numbered rating and just the general "angry tone" (especilay about the rates) i would hate to be on the side of the fence the ladies are on. Am i the only one noticing how the love of providers is turnning into the resentment of them?

So will all this being said the bottem line. Dont like the price move on. did you really need to "ask what to do" i think you just wanted to vent or more acuratly bitch and moan and have a few guys cyber high five you because you really are resentfull of the fact that she gets paid for what you have to pay for.

all this is just my take on it. then again maybe if you tipped her after your first session she would have "grandfathered you in at a lower rate" simply because she liked you.

flame on
Tom

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