Seems from reading this board, some of the men are confused about this.

A good client is respectful, reliable, stable, and has the money to be able to afford to be generous to her.

Are most providers truly attracted to this kind of man?  No.  We know the kinds of guys they are attracted to.  

The question is why?  

LOL!  Just flashed on the Superman movie, where the "bad girl" laments to herself  "Why can't I ever get it on with the good guys?..."

So why is it that providers are so often attracted to losers?

"We know the kinds of guys they are attracted to."

"So why is it that providers are so often attracted to losers?"

Why do so many men marry women who they fall out of love with, or feel that they can't be faithful to?  A broken marraige isn't always always about a "nice guy whose wife grows distant from him and he is forced to see providers for release".

I know several providers who have been attracted to and involved with very nice men.  However, providers are human, too, and there is no rationality to the human heart.  

As a married man, I know that I matured into love and and having a family before I mutured into my true sexual tastes.  The sad thing is, looks-wise, my wife is more beautiful than most of the providers I see.  But sexuality is a strange thing.  I don't understand it myself.  When I see a provider, I am there for an hour of nothing but pure sexual pleasure, no string attached.

But I wonder if most providers think to themselves that they could never fall for a go who "pays for it".  What's good for the goose is _not_ necessarily good for the gander.  I don't know if I what I write has any bearing in reality -- but I wonder nonetheless.  I know the exceptions exist -- I am talking about the majority.  (I also have very little "romantic" contact with women outside of the hobby -- so if my thoughts seems naiive --- consider the source.)



-- Modified on 9/14/2004 8:57:59 PM

I don't know who you are seeing Mr. Underground but the ladies I'm seeing are becoming rich while looking for the perfect Mr. right.

  AINQ.

"A good client is respectful, reliable, stable, and has the money to be able to afford to be generous to her.
Are most providers truly attracted to this kind of man?  No.  We know the kinds of guys they are attracted to.  
The question is why? "

Because you are attracted to the same type of person your father was.  Father left the family to will look for emotionaly unavailiable guys.  Father abused your mother you will look for the same.  

"It's a random thing that happens 100% of the time. Everyone's different, everyone's an individual, everyone chooses their own path, but they just act out on their past 100% of the time."

Why not throw in a couple of more generalisations:-

A Good client - older, overweight, with performance issues,and lacking in social skills

A Good Provider - younger, attractive, financially and emotionally secure.

Providers should be attracted to clients??? - there's something wrong with this picture.

It's also insulting in the extreme to suggest all providers are emotionally crippled and seek out 'losers' - maybe you are trawling the lower end of the market.

Its equally flawed in suggesting any women are seeking respectful, reliable,stable ,generous men (read dull, dull, dull)
Given they already meet many of their financial requirements - in a relationship I'd expect them to want far more than a good client can provide (looks, excitement, shared interests, sexual compatability)

"Im referring to the answer that we are all attracted to unstable, unreliable, disrespectful,etc. men."

I can't find where anyone in this thread has said this.

Is it inaccurate to refer to a person who is chronically underemployed as a "loser"?

It is a harsh term, but is it inaccurate in the above cases?

-- Modified on 9/15/2004 10:18:25 PM

-- Modified on 9/15/2004 10:20:13 PM

Hoot you are not naiive and if you spend much time with a regular she will probably tell you that she could never fall (respect, love) a guy who pays for it or pays her for it.  At that point in time you will not have to imagine her thinking it.  

You do not hear it more often because it is not good business to tell a guy who is handing you $700 to $1000 for a fantasy that you really think he is a scumbag(loser) whom you would not be seen dead with in public except for the $$$.

That is the main reason I don't date, just kidding. You must be kidding when you say that a gent who has all the qualities you mentioned above is not attractive that way. The truth is I adore some of my clients, but the reality is they are clients. If you start dating them you are not only hurting your financial stabability, but you are also putting yourself at some serious  emotional risk.

Can you imagine that it all works out, everything is going great, then one day you have a fight and he calls you a whore... OUCH!!! I mean just the fact that he would use that against you knowing that it was your choosen profession in the first place, would make you want to scream.

Providers and Clients have there own versions of relationships. Or version is just not mainstream BF/GF stuff. We can know each others likes/ dislikes. We can be comfortable walking around naked with each other. We can be totally open and honest with each other. We can even see each other on a regular basis, but in my book we can't date.

It is similar to a lawyer dating a client he represents, Conflict of Interest. That doesn't mean we don't have urges and feelings. It means we are grown ups and can restrain the urges to put ourselves in a situation that could and most likely would at some point in time become unhealthy or volatile.

Let's just enjoy and indulge ourselves. Be happy and have fun. Live our fantasy's out in a world not judged by societies prying eyes.

XXX's

I was going to reply here... but my thoughts on this are too personal, are written for those who know it was written for them.  So I will make my own post above.

> I seriously doubt that you can evaluate who we are
> attracted to with any real criteria to base your assumptions on.

Well the Basic trend I see in society is that the better a father was to his daughter growing up the better relationships she will have with men later on in life.  The Father Daughter relationship will also impact what area of work she goes into.

As Chris Rock stated now that he is the Father of a Daughter his only job in life now is "Keeping Her off the Pole"  

My wild guess would be many providers did not have a very good relationship with thier father growing up.

In the same vein, this post is not meant to belittle you.

What about the provider SO's who, unlike yours, have not overcome their substance abuse problems?

People who want to work, but remain chronically underemployed, are losers.  When a woman makes excuses for them, she is not really helping them.

Glad we agree about the substance abuse.

I would not categorize a talented artist who cannot find constant work as an artist as chronically underemployed, or for that matter anyone who is truly following their passion.  What I am talking about are people who have jobs that are far below their capabilities, and yet do nothing about that.

be honest about, perhaps even to themselves.

Admirable honesty.

and your compassion and courage!

providers who are not like that.  I don't think you can generalize from yourself.