No sex or bad sex? For years I have been convinced that the only thing worse than forced celibacy (those of you with non-cooperating SOs know all too well what I mean) is bad sex. Sex with someone who is going through the motions, just wants to get it over with or who is doing it out of some sense of unwelcome obligation. I'd rather take matters into my own hands than have more of that.
I think what you described as bad sex would lead to no sex, which would then lead to...Hobbying!
To answer the question, though, I'd have to say "bad" sex is better than no sex. I have a pretty good imagination and several fantasies that could get me through either. I could always close my eyes and imagine I was with Michelle or Sedona or several of the other lovely ladies of TER and the bad sex would be great, at least in my mind!
I went 5 years with bad sex- having her roll over when she was done, but not when I was done. This casuses all sorts of problems with confidence and erections. It's a male ego thing about not being able to please a woman.
Then I made the decision to not initiate sex at all. That was 6 years ago, and she didn't say a word about it, so celebacy has reigned.
I finally had enough, and thanks to help from this site and this discussion board, I made a change. The provider I have been seeing the last few months has done wonders to help me, and I have since moved out from our home.
So, a long answer to a short question- for me, bad sex really messed me up. No sex was a hell of a lot less painful, but still sucked (pun intended). I thank my lucky stars to have found an understanding provider who makes me feel like a man again.
So I say bad sex is worse. But though celebate, I wasn't really chaste, since I did use the ol' manual over-ride.
/Zin
first of all you must have been really in the mood to have it... I mean you wanted that "O" and it had to have felt kinda good at some point during the sex, it might have even felt real good. But if there was a let down and I didn't get my "O". God am I pissy. I need my Orgasms. I know how to get them myself, but to be let down by my partner. OHHHH!!! I would of rather have not gotten to that point where I needed the "O" . I swear on everything I know what is like for a man to get blue balls. My pussy must go through something very similar... it almost aches...and of course it will continue to do so untill I either fall asleep or get my "O"... LOL don't worry I cum with the right stimulation most of the time...
Either one is bad, I have been married for 34 years and the last 8 of them I would call a sexless marriage (this is defined as having sex less than 6 times a year). I still love my wife, but I don't LOVE my wife, it has driven me to look in other places for the attention I crave. I find that the hobby gives me the attention and some very stimulating conversation.
Way to go LADIES!!
My Ex and I didn't have any sex for the last 6 years of our marriage and I was the one who "cut it off". She was such a critical, controling and condescending person that I lost all desire for sex with her. So one day I told her that I couldn't care less if I ever had sex with her again. It was very interesting how the loss of this most common tool of manipulation used by women caused her to totally give up any hope of controling me from that point forward.
So in answer to your question I guess "bad sex" is worse
Cm.
I agree. See my post above.
With no sex you don't get hott and bothered just to be let down. With no sex you can always take care of yourself and do a good job of it.
With no sex you don't have to wonder if theres something you could do to make it good.
With no sex you don't have to put energy into something that leaves you wanting.
Bad sex is just bad.......
Then theres great sex. Weve all had it, the kind of sex that leaves you sweaty, exausted, and satisfied in the way only great sex can. It's the sex you think about for hours after its over and again for weeks, months, and even years to come.
XOXO Charis
its no big deal unless you're not getting any.
When I was younger, I used to think that sex was like pizza, good hot or cold. But I've come to think that bad sex is simply...well, bad. But I can't complain, I've had so much more good sex than bad sex, much of which from the wonderful providers I've encountered over the last few years since I started. Thank you ladies for the complete pleasure of your time and those moments of pure bliss and ecstacy! I will remember you with fondness always.
-b