yes, you might have spoiled your clients. How about keeping a digital clock in the background? if your appt is 10 minutes over the designated time, comment you have to meet some friends or have an errand to run. that way you can not be commented as a clockwatcher as you gave them an extra ten minutes. just a thought.

You are way too kind and unfortunately, it sounds like a lot of guys are just taking advantage of you.  When I get together with a lady, I consider it my responsibility to keep an eye on the clock rather than force her to call it quits. I almost never go over and the few times I have, I've tipped enough to make up for it. Mostly, though, I've taken to scheduling two hour sessions because one hour can be pretty tight. It never occurred to me that I could just pay for an hour and stay for two! Call me dufus.

I would suggest that for new clients, at least, you start getting really firm when the hour is up...and I think asking (if they show no sign of leaving after an hour) if they want to pay for a second hour is a good way to do it (assuming you have the time for that). It's going to be harder to change the rules with regulars, but I think you're going to be stuck with this unless you take control. Maybe you need to just tell the regulars that while you really appreciate seeing them, it's not fair to your other clients when you get pushed behind schedule so you need to know in advance how much time to plan. Maybe even offer a break on the usual two-hour rate for the regulars to ease them into it.

Hi Barbilyn,

I know what you mean, as I went through the same thing when I
First started on my own.

I always felt bad when they wanted me to stick around and wasn't good at saying no.  So, I would stick around an hour a half hour to 2 hrs. with 1 hr.pay. Believe me it does get real OLD!
As it gets to be expected!

I finally learned to say, sorry, I would love to stay, but I have
other plans!

We do have control over the this! I have learned to be strong and no longer let anyone take my Kindness as a Weakness!


Be Strong Sister!

That is why I now have a two hour minimum. One hour is just not enough time. I found I was having so much fun that I would lose track of time and go over. No body ever complained about going over, nor did they offer to compensate me for the extra time and I never asked.  Yes, there are those who now complain about the two hour minimum, until they get to know me. Now two hours seems to be rushing.

I just want to say that I totally agree with you.  Guys shouldn't be taking advantage of you and I'm sure it's a difficult situation to be in - either way you're screwed (pardon the pun .  If you even politely ask them to end on time they will think you're a clockwatcher and if you let them go over, you're giving away an extra hour without anyone recognizing it.  Sorry - hope you meet some guys who don't take advantage of your kindness.

and I'm sure the ladies in San Diego who are reading this (and elsewhere) are thanking you profusely. It has become a real issue here, and you're not the only one experiencing it.

As we've discussed in threads before, one hour is really difficult to stay on track with, and you might want to let your clients know that the one hour appointments don't seem to be working out and that you are only booking 90 minute minimums and offer a good rate, but also let them know that 90 minutes does mean 90 minutes. You might even have that as part of your message or post on your site.

You've given me the 'courage' (later) to bring up something else the ladies have brought up again and again, but this post of yours is the NUMBER ONE we hear.

Thanks, Barbi.

xo,
Sedona

Here's an idea.....how about making a "mandatory minimum" for new clients, say at least 1.5 hours for the first time ??

I am geeked by the fact that you quote EIGHTBALL....Nice Touch Barbilyn

Your comments and reactions seem completely reasonable to me.  You've been more than fair.  The only way to improve the situation is to be more direct and assertive about it.  Good luck.

You said "I know I should have the CD stop at an hour, but thats not quite enough time, imho."  How about an hour and 10 minutes or so.  That way by the time the guy leaves it should still have been a little less an hour and a half and everybody ought to be happy.

As for the reviews, you'll have to say something to the clients.  A lot of guys (certainly I) try to put everything wonderful into the review to help a lady's business.  Bet at least some of these guys thought they were doing you a favor when the mentioned the time.

So far I haven't seen any flack.  Hopefully those dumb enough to want to give you some will think better of it.

...not being rushed out the door and taking advantaqge of someone's good nature. It sounds like your clients are doing the latter, even if unintentionally. At the risk of sounding positively 19th-century, that's just disourteous and ungentlemanly. Going overtime if you were both having a good time and didn't notice it passing -- that's one thing. But to expect it as a right? Nah.

I think Sedona had a good suggestion: since an hour can be rushed and you seem to enjoy longer sessions, why not set your minimum to 90 minutes? Just make sure they understand that 90 minutes means 90 minutes.

good luck,
--b.

Great post Barbylynn you are way to nice to be taken advantage of!  I too think it is the client’s responsibility on the time issue and if there is a clock around I try not to go over  but I am sure I have.  

I like the your idea of the cd instead of a alarm clock though and would not be offended if you suggested a longer session once our time is up but I think staying say 10 minutes past is not too much.

I don’t think you will loose clients Barbylynn you brought up a good point but I do have a question;

I have met a few providers and read reviews on a few more that are a let’s say a little chatty side and 20 minutes of one hour session is devoted to talking ( I am interested in getting to know the lady too and twenty minutes is not too much time in a multi-hour session).  When does the clock start begin from the moment I walk in the door or when we start to get busy?  

In most outcall situations, the lady arrives 10-15 minutes past the hour.  If the appointment is for 8 p.m. and she arrives at 8:15, 9:30 would be "my minimum hour" [the hour plus an extra 15 for her being late].  The mindset being "what goes around comes around."  Often you read that guys would like a 2nd cup but had to get going because of...  I'll bet they didn't get a partial refund.

I'm really glad you had the courage to write this post; I know it wasn't easy for you.  (For those who don't know Barbie, she is a real sweetheart and people are always taking advantage of her.) Practice makes prefect--keep on practicing.  There is nothing wrong with asking a hobbyist if he'd like to book more time or finish the session now--especially when a sessiosn has already gone ten minutes overtime.

Barbilyn, you had the ability to make me feel I was the only one in the world that meant anything to you at that time.  I did loose track of time, but was aware that it was over the hour.  Looking back on other providers I have seen, I realize that I tend to do this way too often.  The extra time you spend on clients is evident from reading the posts, and probably one of the initial reasons I went to see you.  With me, you said you had someone else on the way over and needed time to prepare.  Not that I will overstay again, but that worked for me.

For those who haven't met Barbilyn, you are missing out on one of the most special women in our hobby.  She is good natured, kind, and I know it killed her to write this thread.

I'll bet this post brings you lots of NEW clients

I don't know you and haven't read your reviews, just the posts in this thread, so I may be way off base. But if this is happening a LOT it's likely because you're very good at the most important part of your job - not the "pop", but the fantasy. If you REALLY make the client believe he's one in a million, there will be guys who will soak it up and "share himself" with you just as long as you let him.

Others have suggested time management techniques that might be a bit less jarring than an alarm clock (I've managed to get through most of my LIFE without one of those yelling at me!).

You can always tell the last client of the day you have to get home to make certain your ancient mother or father or invalid sister or whomever is OK.

if someone wants to leave early.  Although I am pretty good at keeping it from happening, occasionally someone does finish their coffee in the first half an hour, I do give them back half of their fee.  I tell most people too, at the beginning that is the case.
And, since I have joined TER and read the posts from men complaining about chatterboxes and being ripped off if we chit chat too much, I now usually wait until after the session, if at all, to ask a person about himself.  I feel that it has hurt my sessions to do that.  Sometimes, (like recently with a certain someone who brought me flowers) when I wait until afterwards to chat, I know that I would have been way more enthusiastic during the session if I had gotten to know him a bit more, before.  My general m.o. now is to have someone get undressed right away and I like to lay down with him and be touching while I ask a few(?!) questions. I try not to talk too much, but I have had a few complain that they felt I was moving too fast for them.
As for when does my session time begin, I think the time should begin after a person is showered and once you are in bed or wherever and actual kissing or petting or sex or after I finish a massage and start licking.  Although I realize that may be too far into it for some people, it works for me.
And with that I would like to say thank you to all the other providers who held back from saying anything negative to me and to my surprize actually gave me support.  Thank you.  You all seem so wonderful I wish I knew all of you personally and if I can ever be of help, call me.
My stomach was turning over when I logged in today.  I was expecting some negative comments.  I do realize that it can be considered an unfair practice when someone gives more time for the $.  Although I do think it is up to each provider to decide for herself how a session should go. I think that I met so many providers in my old Swing days who were catty and not supportive of each other, that I was expecting it here, too.
I should have known better.  Thank you TER for giving us the opportunity to get to know each other.  If only through discussion board posts and reviews.
I expected negative comments too, from the men.  Thank you all too, for all of your suggestions.