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I think the folks in first class were telling that tale
Dr Who revived 3247 reads
posted
1 / 48
What an incredible ending to the week

Finally have a few minutes to reflect on my week and thought I'd share.

So it started out with taking a flight and not being able to upgrade to even economy plus..knees in my throat for the entire duration.  What was even worse was the asshole sitting near me with what seemed like sweaty (and I suspect non-manscaped) balls.  I noticed that the dude kept checking out one hookers website as well...ogling her pics that seemed to have her doing a striptease.

And wouldn't you know it...my fucking luck I'm stuck in the middle seat between the Great American Hobbyist and the Great American Asian Hobbyist.  Three fucking hours of these two dudes arguing who was the "best" hobbyist.  Finally the flight attendant...an Asian man in his mid 50's told them to STFU and never use the word hobbyist again.  I don't know who that man was...but thank you.

Unfortunately another smell seemed to permeate the cabin.  Perfume..cologne..I don't know but it wasn't masking the smell of the sweaty balls enough in any case.  Finally a movie started to play (they wanted $ 5.00 for it and I don't pay for that shit)...but it seemed like a chick flick as I noticed a couple of women babbling about how they like to be pleased...so they must have been lesbians as they seemed to know how to please each other quite well.

Many of the passengers seemed to be quite happy in any event.  I guess they all got laid earlier in the week?  A few did complain about their sex partners...something about morning breath and bed head.  And in case anyone cared...you can get porn on the internet at 30,000 feet.  Some guys were checking it out..others seemed to not care.  And yet others preferred to read erotic literature...some were also writing it.

A few days ago I got to meet the scientists who are growing vaginas.  They are still conflicted as to how best to present it to the masses...as a MILF, a GILF or something just plain nasty (as is sometimes evidenced on the photo board).  There was also some discussion about the latest internet bug...but United Airlines isn't affected...or so they claim.  

Around Wednesday I noticed some weird skin thing going on with me.  I didn't know what to do about it...so I figured some anal sex would resolve the problem.  I guess it has worked..so far.

And then the most bizarre thing...fucking United Airlines wants me to write a review.  So I told them I'm chgoCPA and they wanted to see if I could get someone who will write them a 10/10.  Seems they did some background check on me.  Hmmpph!!

I did suggest that they hire only real hot cuties to be flight attendants.  And that they should all wear leather outfits.  I'm hoping that works out...but my pal OSP is doubtful.  He said that they'll hire old hags and that won't be fun.  

But if all flight attendants get EROS approved...what can possibly go wrong?  Oh..and some celebs were on the flight.  Too bad...they didn't have their make-up on and I wasn't sure who was who.

When did the airlines also want to know your zodiac sign?  Seems like the airlines want to know which city has the best hookers as well...it was part of the airlines attempt to make the passengers happy.  I think Chicago...but that nice Asian flight attendant suggested checking out Costa Rica.  He seemed knowledgeable.

Whew....quite a week.  Well, actually only 2 days.

TheHoundOfCullin 9 Reviews 1442 reads
posted
2 / 48
Well that was me sitting next to you CPA. I think the Drunken Asian was on the other side.

You are just too big to fit into an airplane.
We are lucky your big ass ego didn't crash it! LOL
They told me you could remove a fire hydrant from the ground. You know...

I don't know about that internet bug though...
Maybe its up you ass? :)

Hi CPA.. Fuck you :)

inicky46 61 Reviews 1487 reads
posted
3 / 48
Jeezus H. Christ! CPA is channeling DC!

What next?  Roddy pretending to be GaG?  Say it ain't so!

OSP 26 Reviews 1575 reads
posted
4 / 48
OMG what a boring 2 days lol

Why is it , BTW, that I am the only user name you remember? The "rest" are just in-your-end-o's".

I can't remember the last flight where SEX was so redused to "commonplace" happenstance

Wtf did I just say? Lol

Longisland anyone lmao

mrfisher 108 Reviews 1292 reads
posted
5 / 48
Sounds like deja vue all over again. eom


END OF MESSAGE

Back_In_Black 1531 reads
posted
6 / 48
hey nicky i think taylor likes me . ive fallen for her and

I cant get up . should I put her in my will . she belonged to me yesterday, I was happy and I think I gave her oral .  she licked me back like a cherry pop on a ho summer day and we took a bath together afterwards . just wanted to share in my moment .  

Posted By: inicky46
What next?  Roddy pretending to be GaG?  Say it ain't so!

Cosette 1243 reads
posted
7 / 48
I could pretend to be Ms. Steele? EOM


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inicky46 61 Reviews 1102 reads
posted
8 / 48
I prefer you the way you are. -e-


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Dr Who revived 1167 reads
posted
9 / 48
I think the folks in first class were telling that tale

I was back with the rest of the crowd...cramped in tight quarters needless to say.

I'm thinking that the in-flight entertainment was going to be a squirting contest...but no one wanted to spend $$$ for bottled water to shoot out.  Guess it really is pee  ;)

OH...and Taylor is off to find some serious writer material...I think she's got her sights set on WickedBrut?

Sorry...it was on the trailer after Son of God was over.
Posted By: Back_In_Black
I cant get up . should I put her in my will . she belonged to me yesterday, I was happy and I think I gave her oral .  she licked me back like a cherry pop on a ho summer day and we took a bath together afterwards . just wanted to share in my moment .  
   
Posted By: inicky46
What next?  Roddy pretending to be GaG?  Say it ain't so!

Dr Who revived 1663 reads
posted
10 / 48
Because I know you wouldn't tolerate old hags?

And would raise a serious stink if they hired more of them.  

Come to think of it...I haven't seen one that was under 45 on domestic flights.  And wouldn't even rate a TER 6.

As well...if I use actual names here they'll want a royalty.  I'm a cheap asshole that way  ;)
Posted By: OSP
Why is it , BTW, that I am the only user name you remember? The "rest" are just in-your-end-o's".

I can't remember the last flight where SEX was so redused to "commonplace" happenstance

Wtf did I just say? Lol

Longisland anyone lmao

GaGambler 1373 reads
posted
11 / 48
I can tell that hooker you've been dating still hasn't put out yet

That would definitely explain your foul mood. lol

TheHoundOfCullin 9 Reviews 1337 reads
posted
12 / 48
Dammit! I'll go with you odds any day!!!

Nail on head...

GaGambler 1261 reads
posted
13 / 48
Stewardesses were hot back in the day. Flight attendants OTOH are rarely even doable

I bet you there isn't one in fifty flight attendants on domestic flights that would rate as high as a 6, even on the inflated TER scale.

I have met a few real hotties on some international flights however.

Dr Who revived 1498 reads
posted
14 / 48
That couldn't possibly happen....

Rod wouldn't have told you not to fuck a beached whale in CR....he would have told you..

"Stay strong pretty lady"

And then you'd have to look at yourself in the mirror...and that would be hard.  
 
Posted By: inicky46
What next?  Roddy pretending to be GaG?  Say it ain't so!

Back_In_Black 1392 reads
posted
15 / 48
im thinking HH is next . hes a romantic at heart and did try

to fix me up with my hookers . bet he thought the envelope might not be enough . where rod I miss him ( NO I DONT ) rod come and tell me how im wrong ..
 

Posted By: ChgoCPA
I was back with the rest of the crowd...cramped  in tight quarters needless to say.  
   
 I'm thinking that the in-flight entertainment was going to be a squirting contest...but no one wanted to spend $$$ for bottled water to shoot out.  Guess it really is pee  ;)  
   
 OH...and Taylor is off to find some serious writer material...I think she's got her sights set on WickedBrut?  
   
 Sorry...it was on the trailer after Son of God was over.  
   
Posted By: Back_In_Black
I cant get up . should I put her in my will . she belonged to me yesterday, I was happy and I think I gave her oral .  she licked me back like a cherry pop on a ho summer day and we took a bath together afterwards . just wanted to share in my moment .    
     
Posted By: inicky46
What next?  Roddy pretending to be GaG?  Say it ain't so!

Dr Who revived 1077 reads
posted
16 / 48
Looks like you've riled up the criminally insane...Nice going

Posted By: Pimpathy

It's a conspiracy.  You don't like the gay flight attendants.  You're a hypocrite.

Where's anonymousfuckhead?  He'll support my comments.

Back_In_Black 1149 reads
posted
17 / 48
to tired today she drained me 6 cups .

fuck you all , my story .. lol  
but I see you and nick are an item , common kids go to it . and make it nice and sex

Blowing Chunks 1189 reads
posted
18 / 48
I wouldn't want a nail on the head of my dick. That would be very paintful... eom


END OF MESSAGE

Dr Who revived 1174 reads
posted
19 / 48
Did you try the "dropping the bucks" trick?

I'm telling you...it's a guaranteed method to check out her whoreness.

She also loves anal...give it to her already  LOL

Just leave an extra C-note.
Posted By: TheHoundOfCullin
Nail on head...

Dr Who revived 1213 reads
posted
20 / 48
It didn't happen unless there's a review

And you can use your BiB handle to write it.

Better be a 10/10 as well...or else  LOL

No acronyms either...details.  I won't read it...just skim it.  

I think it'll drive Rod nuts...go for it  ;)

Oh...how about some video as well.  Next flight they can show the whole thing.  You and TS sitting having dinner and discussing TER boards...no sex or violence as kids are on the flight.  But they'll be selling the XXX rated version for an upcharge.  Demand some royalties.
Posted By: Back_In_Black
fuck you all , my story .. lol  
 but I see you and nick are an item , common kids go to it . and make it nice and sexy  
   
 

TheHoundOfCullin 9 Reviews 1375 reads
posted
21 / 48
Fukker.. I knew you would strike while the iron was hot.

She is a Tantrika..
Fucking sex/ yoga specialist!!
She can bend in ways I never thought were possible.

TheHoundOfCullin 9 Reviews 1485 reads
posted
22 / 48
So you were sitting on the plane. e


END OF MESSAGE

Cosette 1355 reads
posted
23 / 48
I call BS, you seem like a one and out soldier EOM


END OF MESSAGE

Dr Who revived 1508 reads
posted
24 / 48
Tantrica...bullshit on that

Plenty of young gals can be flexible.  You'd plotz at some of the positions I've had the gals in  LOL

But they also fucked and sucked...that's what they are doing here.

So...did you try the "drop the bucks" trick yet?  I'm guessing you did since that's how you know she's a tantric.  Plenty of them advertise that shit...few know how to really do it.  

Don't be a weenie boy...go for it already.  
Posted By: TheHoundOfCullin
She is a Tantrika..  
 Fucking sex/ yoga specialist!!  
 She can bend in ways I never thought were possible.

Back_In_Black 1721 reads
posted
25 / 48
well she did lose those packages , hmmm see taylor

should I . she aint bad looking a bit skinny but that's better than fat . and her favorite color is white and were both white so maybe . and the review it would be good cause well I know she wants it bad and does need it bad .

Posted By: ChgoCPA
And you can use your BiB handle to write it.  
   
 Better be a 10/10 as well...or else  LOL  
   
 No acronyms either...details.  I won't read it...just skim it.    
   
 I think it'll drive Rod nuts...go for it  ;)  
   
 Oh...how about some video as well.  Next flight they can show the whole thing.  You and TS sitting having dinner and discussing TER boards...no sex or violence as kids are on the flight.  But they'll be selling the XXX rated version for an upcharge.  Demand some royalties.  
   
Posted By: Back_In_Black
fuck you all , my story .. lol    
  but I see you and nick are an item , common kids go to it . and make it nice and sexy    
     
 

Back_In_Black 1355 reads
posted
26 / 48
my shotgun is double barrell and an extra load isnt

that far away so that makes 3 if im feeling the loving .  
final answer 3 ..

GaGambler 1611 reads
posted
27 / 48
You're welcome, I am here to serve

but not in a brokeback kind of way. I'll leave that to Rod and his many admirers

Dr Who revived 1254 reads
posted
28 / 48
Brokeback...did you just say brokeback?

Posted By: RodTidwellnot

Aww...I thought after all our PM's that we were good.  I even offered to toss you around the room.  I only do that with my special friends...and I thought you were one of them.

Why are you guys so mean to me?  My only online friend is Taylor...and now she's cavorting with that BiB dude.  He better not write a review...that wouldn't be a nice thing to do.  It's a private act...and shouldn't ever be shared.

I really don't have Nick or Curly on ignore...I love to see my name written.  It gives me a tingly feeling.

Stay strong pretty man.

GaGambler 1363 reads
posted
29 / 48
Damn, that sounds just like one of his PM's to me

Have you been hacking into his PM account?

OSP 26 Reviews 1190 reads
posted
30 / 48
What the hell is this GAY shit doin under my post?

I think your boy Rod is all tingly for you lol. He wanst to "toss" you if I read correctly. Let me know how that goes. I have 4 star Te-kill-ya to get back to

Man,this is better than Melrose Place and Dallas back to back. Or Brokeback as YOU put it

SilverFox62 4 Reviews 1362 reads
posted
31 / 48
Look at the bright side! At least you didn't have to crash with your dick in hand...Lol...eom


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DC. 51 Reviews 1095 reads
posted
32 / 48
Great job brother. eom


END OF MESSAGE

pleaseme 23 Reviews 1430 reads
posted
33 / 48
Blah Blah Blah, this is the Ter flight attendant telling you to STFU, Boring WGAF

Posted By: ChgoCPA
Finally have a few minutes to reflect on my week and thought I'd share.  
   
 So it started out with taking a flight and not being able to upgrade to even economy plus..knees in my throat for the entire duration.  What was even worse was the asshole sitting near me with what seemed like sweaty (and I suspect non-manscaped) balls.  I noticed that the dude kept checking out one hookers website as well...ogling her pics that seemed to have her doing a striptease.  
   
 And wouldn't you know it...my fucking luck I'm stuck in the middle seat between the Great American Hobbyist and the Great American Asian Hobbyist.  Three fucking hours of these two dudes arguing who was the "best" hobbyist.  Finally the flight attendant...an Asian man in his mid 50's told them to STFU and never use the word hobbyist again.  I don't know who that man was...but thank you.  
   
 Unfortunately another smell seemed to permeate the cabin.  Perfume..cologne..I don't know but it wasn't masking the smell of the sweaty balls enough in any case.  Finally a movie started to play (they wanted $ 5.00 for it and I don't pay for that shit)...but it seemed like a chick flick as I noticed a couple of women babbling about how they like to be pleased...so they must have been lesbians as they seemed to know how to please each other quite well.  
   
 Many of the passengers seemed to be quite happy in any event.  I guess they all got laid earlier in the week?  A few did complain about their sex partners...something about morning breath and bed head.  And in case anyone cared...you can get porn on the internet at 30,000 feet.  Some guys were checking it out..others seemed to not care.  And yet others preferred to read erotic literature...some were also writing it.  
   
 A few days ago I got to meet the scientists who are growing vaginas.  They are still conflicted as to how best to present it to the masses...as a MILF, a GILF or something just plain nasty (as is sometimes evidenced on the photo board).  There was also some discussion about the latest internet bug...but United Airlines isn't affected...or so they claim.    
   
 Around Wednesday I noticed some weird skin thing going on with me.  I didn't know what to do about it...so I figured some anal sex would resolve the problem.  I guess it has worked..so far.  
   
 And then the most bizarre thing...fucking United Airlines wants me to write a review.  So I told them I'm chgoCPA and they wanted to see if I could get someone who will write them a 10/10.  Seems they did some background check on me.  Hmmpph!!  
   
 I did suggest that they hire only real hot cuties to be flight attendants.  And that they should all wear leather outfits.  I'm hoping that works out...but my pal OSP is doubtful.  He said that they'll hire old hags and that won't be fun.    
   
 But if all flight attendants get EROS approved...what can possibly go wrong?  Oh..and some celebs were on the flight.  Too bad...they didn't have their make-up on and I wasn't sure who was who.  
   
 When did the airlines also want to know your zodiac sign?  Seems like the airlines want to know which city has the best hookers as well...it was part of the airlines attempt to make the passengers happy.  I think Chicago...but that nice Asian flight attendant suggested checking out Costa Rica.  He seemed knowledgeable.  
   
 Whew....quite a week.  Well, actually only 2 days.

keystonekid 114 Reviews 1217 reads
posted
34 / 48
It is my understanding that flight attendants get to pick routes . . .

monthly based on seniority.  Therefore the older ones choose the longer flights, like across the pond, and the younger newbies get stuck with the short hops like Chicago to Philly to Boston.  Your 3-hr. flight had older more experienced flight attendants no doubt.

Dr Who revived 1359 reads
posted
35 / 48
Perhaps...but I haven't found a hottie on any flight in a very long time

I've flown across the pond...across the stream (Lake Michigan)...and barely off the ground routes.

The one constant is ugly and old (with a smidgen of fat for good measure) flight attendants.

Add to that cramped quarters and obnoxious newbie flyers....it's nothing like flying back 30+ years ago.

And never will be again.  Shit...I just flew on an "updated" UAL A320 that just added another fucking row in coach.  If you're over 5'9" (and I am)...no fucking way you can sit in coach anymore.  And the nice male flight attendant (he wasn't an Asian however) told me that UAL is going to add another row shortly.  Better be a fucking hobbit if you want to fly coach in a year or so!

BTW....my OP was a synopsis of the past two days of TER ramblings...FYI  ;)
Posted By: keystonekid
monthly based on seniority.  Therefore the older ones choose the longer flights, like across the pond, and the younger newbies get stuck with the short hops like Chicago to Philly to Boston.  Your 3-hr. flight had older more experienced flight attendants no doubt.

89Springer 1278 reads
posted
36 / 48
"BTW....my OP was a synopsis of the past two days of TER ramblings...FYI"

I  don't think anybody got that.

perfectstorm 19 Reviews 1145 reads
posted
37 / 48
But don't pass the torch just yet!

CPA did a nice job, but you're still the master! (bater)
:D

Dr Who revived 1348 reads
posted
38 / 48
Oh...it's just that some are a tad slower than others LOL

I guess I'll have to make formal announcements for certain posters?

Nah...they'd still miss it.  ;)
Posted By: 89Springer
I  don't think anybody got that.

USGrantlover 219 Reviews 1578 reads
posted
39 / 48
Re: "BTW....my OP was a synopsis of the past two days of TER ramblings...FYI"

Exactly lol

Posted By: 89Springer
I  don't think anybody got that.

acadia1106 2 Reviews 1143 reads
posted
40 / 48
Holy, fking EPIC!


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MatureGFE See my TER Reviews 1410 reads
posted
41 / 48
I got ot right off the bat and it wasa funny LOL!!! (eom)


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0603450onThe 1346 reads
posted
42 / 48
Wohhh...lol who is this character? eom


END OF MESSAGE

Back_In_Black 1434 reads
posted
43 / 48
dawg i think i just fucked your girlfriend !and she is a provider , she

was in a hurry after the deed and I asked her why . she said she just got a puppy and she misses him. bad part was she said she had to go home cause he wasn't paper trained yet , dude you cant use a toilet ?  
'good pick though full menu ..  

Posted By: TheHoundOfCullin
Nail on head...

WickedBrut 27 Reviews 1344 reads
posted
44 / 48
True Tantra is a profound pleasure. But there's too much counterfeit around. EOM


END OF MESSAGE

Crazy Diamond 12 Reviews 968 reads
posted
45 / 48
My ending this week was cool as well...

Just last night, with my friend KL.  My only time this month so far, but... :)

0603450onThe 1164 reads
posted
46 / 48
It's ok. All that matters is, did you enjoy my......

nectar?  

;) Good morning Mr. Black

But I will agree about these two. Not sure what they're waiting for either. A connection is a connection is a connection. I say go for it.

-- Modified on 4/13/2014 6:43:22 AM

MasterZen 33 Reviews 1039 reads
posted
47 / 48
Funny! Wrong on many levels, but...

I can top it:

Why does a dog lick his own balls?

Because he hasn't asked his bitch to do it yet?

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 1055 reads
posted
48 / 48
Nice pinch line!

I actually enjoyed reading this. Each section you extracted fit perfectly into your flight.  

Xo

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